Chapter 4 #2
Yuri reaches down to pet Hex’s blue coat while Misha squats down so he can properly love on Ghost. His pale coat fits his name, even if he is more of a honey than a white.
It’s still such a stark contrast to the other two and it always makes him look like an apparition when he comes out of the woods at night.
My brothers may be violent psychopaths who are way overprotective of me, but they turn into baby-talking fools when they’re around their dogs.
I scratch behind Nyx’s ears until they pile back into the truck and give me a wave goodbye.
Checking my watch, I make sure it’s not too late before heading down the path to my grandparents’ house.
When my mom met my dad, my grandma was fighting cancer.
My dad helped her get seen by the best oncologist in the city and paid for all her expenses.
She’s been cancer free since before I was born, and she’s married to a retired member of the Bratva.
They fell in love while she was going through treatments and have been together ever since.
My biological grandpa split when my mom was little, so Grandpa Boris is the only one I’ve ever known, which is fine by me since the original sounds like a real asshole.
When I’m close enough to their cabin, I grin and speed up.
They’re both sitting out on their swing, just like they do most nights, and as soon as they see me, they wave me over.
Nyx gets there first, happily accepting all the butt scratches and head pats, but I’m a close second.
I hug my grandparents and then take a seat in one of the rocking chairs.
I love their cabin. They added onto it after they got married, and my brothers and I used to sleep over all the time when we were little.
In the mornings, our grandma would make us the best blueberry pancakes, and she crocheted me the prettiest blue and green blanket for my thirteenth birthday.
I still have it on my bed and use it every night. It reminds me of the ocean and of her.
“Your mom said you had a fun weekend,” my grandma says. “How was the water?”
“Freezing,” I say, making Grandpa Boris laugh.
He still has a thick Russian accent when he says, “This is nothing. You should swim in Russia in the winter. Now that’s cold.”
“No thank you. I can’t even imagine how cold that would be,” my grandma says, smiling at my grandpa when he gives her a quick wink.
They’re holding hands and rocking gently on the swing, and even though it’s sweet and I hope I’m lucky enough to have this one day, thanks to my brothers, I’m now also wondering if like everyone else in this family, they enjoy chasing each other naked through the woods.
I have to bite back the grimace I want to give and make a mental note to kick my brothers’ asses for this. Ignorance really is bliss, and I’d love to be ignorant as shit right now.
While Nyx sprawls out on the porch, I push aside all thoughts of our family’s perversions and visit with my grandparents.
They tell me all about the new flower beds my grandpa is building and what my grandma plans on planting in them.
The green thumb didn’t get passed down to me, but I still listen and ask questions.
Just because I can’t grow them doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate them.
We visit until I catch my grandma fighting a yawn, and then I stand and stretch my arms while Nyx slowly follows my lead.
“You’re coming to Aunt Nina’s for supper tomorrow, right?” I ask them.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” my grandpa says before giving me a hug.
“We’re excited to see Damien and Ev again,” my grandma says. “They’re sweet boys.”
“Yeah, they’re nice,” I say like we’re still talking about flowers in her garden—pretty things that I have no real attachment to.
With Nyx at my side, I tell them both bye and then start the walk back to my parents’.
It’s chilly so I pull my hood up and tuck my hands in the front pocket of my well-worn hoodie while slowing my pace and staring up at the sky.
The trees block out most of the stars from here, but I catch quick glimpses of them through the limbs.
I’ve always loved how peaceful it feels at night.
I get the same feeling right before dawn, when everything still feels shrouded in darkness and fog, so quiet and still, even the sound of my own voice feels too loud in those moments.
It makes me feel small, and I love that.
I love knowing there’s a great big universe out there and that I’m just a tiny smidgen in it.
I’m not sure why that’s so comforting, but it is.
My parents are cuddled up on the couch watching a movie when Nyx and I walk in.
We have a really nice media room, but more often than not, they choose to stay in the main living room.
I think it’s because they like to make sure I’ve come in for the night.
I don’t really have a curfew since I can’t leave the property on my own, but they still worry and I know neither one of them will go to bed unless they know where I’m at.
Putting their minds at ease, I give them each a hug and say, “I’m going to bed. Love you.”
“Love you too, honey,” my mom says.
“Love you, derevtse moyo,” my dad echoes, and I decide on the spot that I’m burying all knowledge of what my brothers told me tonight. As far as I’m concerned I never heard a damn word. I love my nickname, and I refuse to let it get tainted and turned into something it’s not.
With my resolve firmly in place, I give them a smile and then head for bed with Nyx right at my heels.
Once my door is shut, I take a quick shower, cringing when I see my reflection and the lobster-red color my ass is sporting.
It still hurts and having anything touch it is painful.
It’s been awhile since I’ve been sunburnt, but if I remember correctly, tomorrow isn’t going to be any better and quite possibly it’ll be worse.
Making sure the water is coolish, I pin my hair up and then wash up as fast as I can. I’m exhausted and more than ready to catch up on the sleep I missed last night.
As soon as I’m in bed, I get a text in the group chat with Allie and Yulia.
Allie:
Anyone else’s butt sore?
Yulia:
Yes. It hurts so bad.
Me:
I can barely sit.
Allie:
It’s so sad that none of this involved a big dick.
Me:
Speak for yourself. I’m very glad the pain has nothing to do with a dick of any kind.
Yulia:
Same here.
Allie:
Way to leave me hanging.
Me:
Sorry, you’re the only one anxious for a big anal pounding.
Yulia sends off a string of laughing emojis while I send the peach and eggplant and follow it with the grimacing face emoji.
Allie:
To each their own. This is how desperate I’ve become. A painful butt is better than untouched and pain free.
Yulia:
You’ll find your man…and then you can buy him lube.
Me:
A lot of it. Many bottles.
Allie:
Maybe. I’m losing hope. Anyway, enough depressing talk, you’re both going to supper tomorrow, right? At least we’ll have something gorgeous to stare at.
Unease starts to wash over me at her comment.
It hadn’t occurred to me that Allie might be into one of the Melnikov guys.
She’s never mentioned anything about it before, and I’m not so sure she’s serious right now, but she is getting annoyed about the restrictions on her life, possibly annoyed enough to try something stupid.
Yulia:
I’ll be there, yeah.
Me:
Me too.
I can’t bring myself to say more, and when the conversation dies down, I say a quick bye and set my phone aside.
I’d planned on getting sleep, but now my head is filled with visions of Damien and Allie together.
Allie is effortlessly gorgeous, all blonde hair and blue eyes, and I can’t imagine any guy not being into her.
If she starts flirting with Damien, will he go for it?
The very idea causes an annoying tenseness in my chest that I can’t seem to stop.
Nyx lets out a soft snore from where she’s pressed up against my leg, and I reach down to run my fingers along her short fur while I think about the potential catastrophe I never saw coming.
Eventually I convince myself that there’s nothing to worry about.
Allie is all talk and wouldn’t actually proposition Damien, at least I don’t think she would, and if she is serious, I know she’d back off the second I asked her to.
There’s no reason for me to admit what I’m feeling out loud to anyone until I get a better idea of what’s going on.
For all I know, Damien has a girlfriend and is madly in love with her.
I ignore the stab of pain and jealousy that threatens to consume me and instead reach for the book that I swore I wasn’t going to read tonight.
The plan was to get some sleep, but it looks like pure, unadulterated avoidance is far more important right now.