23. You
23
You
Exton
I thought nothing could hurt me more than what my father already did to me when I was growing up, but I couldn’t be more wrong because with every word, every memory of that day and the ones that followed afterward, my heart sinks into that ice she’s lived in for months.
She woke up that day knowing she had it all only to end it with him betraying her in more ways than I thought possible. He took her trust, her love and crushed it. Used it to fuel his desire for fame and money. He threw away the best thing that could ever happen to him, because she was no longer the milking cow, he needed her to be.
And here I was, feeling slightly bad about what I’ve done a few weeks ago. No…I haven’t done enough then. Not nearly fucking enough. But that’s okay, not all is lost that can be caught again and I love me a good chase.
But not now, not when she needs me to pull her out of her own hurt, and I squeeze her body tighter into mine. She needs me. I can feel it.
Maybe not forever, maybe just until she heals all of herself and realizes what a mess I really am, but I will greedily take whatever crumbs she throws my way. I will be here until the day she kicks me out. Physically. Because I know my heart will never leave.
The water is lukewarm at best, and our skin is about to peel off from how long we’ve been here, but I couldn’t bring myself to get up, to break this connection we had. To wake her from her peaceful sleep on my chest.
Electra trails off mid word as she was recollecting the time when Stella came to pick her up and she could hear her through the hospital walls as she was handing Erik his ass, and I made sure to remember to get that woman flowers or better yet a good bottle of wine—yeah, that would be more her speed—for all she’s done for my Electra.
And me.
No, all I can do is sit here, hold her, kiss her, touch her while she’s resting and reassure myself that she’s here. She’s okay. She’s alive. Still not fighting, but she’s not as far gone as she was when I first got here.
Lightly, I brush away her wet bangs off her forehead, pressing a gentle kiss that startles her. “Let’s get you to bed, little star,” I say softly as she blinks away the sleep.
“Mmm, I fell asleep?” she asks with a croak to her voice, and when I give her a quick ‘yes,’ she blinks at me, looking puzzled with her pulled brows.
“What?” I ask her as I set her in a bath by herself and get out to lay a few towels on her chair, very conscious and ecstatic about her eyes on my ass but it’s not until I lift her up from the water and sit her back on those towels that she finally answers.
She clears her throat. “I can only do that with you.”
“What?” I repeat again, this time me being the puzzled one.
“Sleep. I can only do that with you.”
“What do you mean? You didn’t sleep before I got here?” I wrap her body with those towels and reach for my own before I lift her again in my arms like a little bundle and carry her to the bed.
“No. Not more than two, three hours at nights.” I stop in the middle of the hallway.
“Nightmares,” she answers my unvoiced question. “I had severe nightmares and dreaded them every night, but that first time you bulldozed your way into my bed…I slept.” I look at her while her eyes are cast downward.
“No. Not weird at all,” is all I say and resume walking. We can untangle all these revelations another day.
I set her down on her bed and set out to grab some clothes only to stop when I open the drawer that holds all of her delicate panties.
“Fuck.” I let out a soft groan, fixing my still throbbing cock who is not deterred or has forgotten how she felt against him mere minutes ago even in my wet and now very cold boxers.
I slide the back of my finger against the meticulously folded and organized pairs. Some are silky, some are lacy. A few pairs are simple, sporty style, and I should feel like a sick prick for basically salivating over her underwear drawer, but what I feel is turned on.
So fucking turned on as a vision of her pert ass in each of these pairs flashes in front of my eyes. A vision of me pressing my thumb to the wet spot on her pussy because she’d be drenched. I’d damn make sure she was drenched.
I bring my fingers to my nose and inhale. There is still a faint remnant of her on them, of her sweet, musky scent that’s now mingled with waterlilies, and I fight the urge to stick my finger in my mouth in search for a little bit of that taste.
I wasn’t sure how much she could feel when I touched her, but as soon as I did, I knew I’d force her to feel it if I had to. Force her to feel how fucking perfect we were together.
Damn it, my resolve crashed and burned tonight epically and now that I’ve felt her on my fingers, the desire to have her on my mouth and my cock is downright maddening.
Down boy. Fucking down. She just shared with you her most traumatic experience and all you can think about is thrusting so deep into her you could see your cock through her stomach.
Fuuuuck… I tip my head back, squeezing my eyes shut and think about hockey, cars, movies, monkeys, zebras, and any other nonsense to take my mind off her.
“I know it’s impossible not to get lost in my two-by-two closet but do you think you could find the way out right about now? I’m a second away from turning into an icicle,” Electra hollers from the room and a soft smile creeps onto my face.
There she is. There is my angry elf. There is that strong girl who can talk about her nightmares and still show her sass in full force.
And goddamnit, if it doesn’t make me want her even more.
I glance back at the drawer and smile a whole other emotion when I spot the pair I want. Quickly, I grab the rest of the stuff and walk out.
“Finally,” Electra grumbles but loses the snark right away when I start untangling her from the mess of towels I got around her. “What are you doing?” She sucks in a sharp breath when I drop it all the way down from her upper body, exposing her mouthwatering tits with those nipples the color of pink berries. I bet they taste just as sweet and I about died when I took of her bra earlier and saw how beautiful she was.
I lick my lips at the sight and fight the urge to touch them, lick them, suck them, pinch them, bite those buds so hard she’ll scream my name as her pussy clenches around my length.
Fuck, I have way too many ideas for her tits, but I restrain myself, dropping to the floor and kneel in front of her legs, hiding my not very subtle hard-on.
“Dressing you up, weren’t you the one on the verge of frost bite over here?” I cock an eyebrow innocently and start unwrapping the towel that’s around her legs and those wet panties.
She doesn’t protest or say anything at all when my hands reach them, hooking my fingers into the sides and sliding them down her legs. In hindsight, this was a terrible idea, but I’m a king of those so really there’s no one to blame but me when I have to shut my eyes hard, inhaling a shaky breath because there she is, only my eyes refuse to close and stay fixed on those silky folds as my mouth waters.
Her sweet, pink and completely bare pussy. Glistening and ready for the taking right in front of my fucking eyes. I slide her underwear all the way down until it pools at the floor.
The small one-bedroom cabin is bathed in tense silence, and I can’t be trusted to say anything right now. Not when my mind is still high from her trust in me. Not when my senses are overloaded with her. Not when the scent of her arousal is in my nose like the most alluring perfume of all. Not when I can’t resist to bring my hands back up her smooth legs until they are gripping her thighs as if holding on for dear life with her pussy mere inches away.
And I don’t have to break the silence. She does it for me and breaks my resolve along with it.
“Wh—” Electra stops, and I lift my gaze to meet her hooded one roaming my naked chest as she swallows hard. “What if my clothes can’t warm me up?” Electra asks breathlessly, that sexy tone shooting right through me and clouding my already lust-filled mind further.
I feel my breath grow labored, matching her rhythm as I glide my hands down her legs. Slowly, shaky and her skin breaks out in goosebumps and heat. She’s hot to touch. Or maybe that’s me. I no longer know where I end and she begins, our beings intertwined beyond repair.
“Yeah?” I rasp out. “Want me to get you under your blanket?” I ask and she shakes her head, sinking her teeth into her lower lip and I just about lose the remnants of my sane mind. “Turn up the heater?” Another shake.
The man can only take so much and she’s testing my patience to the fucking max and then some when I ask, “Then what?”
“You,” she says in a soft bedroom voice.
I heave out a long, shaky breath. “Goddamnit, Electra,” I mutter, wiping the back of my hand on my lips. And then I’m moving us both.
With one hand I wind it around her waist, her full bare tits pressing into my chest and plant the other on the bed as I slide her body up, crawling over her at the same time but keeping myself propped on my arm to stay away. As far away as I can manage at this point but never once taking my eyes off hers.
We are locked in on each other, feeling more with one look than hours of hot and heavy sex.
“Warm me up, Exton. Make me feel warm,” she pleads, veiling a lot more meaning behind those words and I bite down the curse that wants to fly free instead only uttering, “I’ll always give you what you want.”
I know she wants me—or thinks she does anyway. I can feel it but how much is she willing to give me? Is she as far gone as I am? Is this just an emotional overload for her? A release of pent-up feelings?
But I don’t want to know the answers to those questions right now, not when neither one of us is thinking straight. Don’t want nothing other than have my lips on hers. And so, I do just that.
I kiss her, swallowing the tiny moan she produces right as her lashes flutter closed and her arms wrap around my shoulders and neck. With one hard tug, she brings me down on top of her and I’m scared I’ll crush her to death and start to pull away, but she moans without pulling away from my lips. “Don’t you dare.” And digs her fingers into my skin.
I smile into our kiss and fall back onto her, loving the feel of her small body underneath mine. Loving how hard she’s holding onto me as if she’s afraid I’ll leave. Loving how soft and pliant her mouth is against mine. How welcoming and eager her tongue is. And how dizzying her soft little noises are.
I had a taste of it all in the bath but somehow this feels different. It feels like more and I’m burning from the inside out at the thought.
God, she’s like no other woman I’ve ever been with. She’s a hundred steps above them all.
It’s the feel of her razor-sharp nipples digging into me as she arches her back, pressing those mouthwatering tits harder against me. Her desire wakes me up and then quickly drowns me in another wave of my own.
Keep yourself under control, Exton.
But she’s begging to be pleased. Every fucking inch of her is begging to be filled by me and I’m so weak against it.
“Exton,” she moans, silently begging for more, completely lost in her feelings and that sight alone is enough for me to come but I will my dick to calm down.
She’s glorious when she feels. And I’m one lucky bastard to get to witness her rebirth.
I tear my mouth from her kiss-swollen lips only to press mine down her jaw, over her slender neck as I kiss and suck on her tender flesh.
Translating with my lips and touch how proud I am of her. How amazing she is. How strong and resilient while my hands start roaming down her body, kneading the flesh underneath my rough palms until I lower my head further, all the way to those tits and grab both in my hands. Hard. So hard her skin turns whiter against my hold, and I wince, realizing I’m being too rough, so I loosen my hold, fighting the need to brand her as mine but Electra’s hands shoot up to mine and squeeze hard, silently urging me to tighten my hands around her breasts again. With a low groan I oblige.
“My dirty little star likes it rough,” I rasp against her collar bone, sinking my teeth into it.
It’s not a question, it’s more of a confirmation for myself to further lose my head over her. The prim and proper figure skater everyone knows is not the girl I have underneath me. And something tells me she’ll never be her again.
Because now she’s my girl.
With her tits cupped firmly in my hands, I wrap my lips around her nipple.
Fuck yes, they are just as sweet as those berries. I moan, sucking it in deeper as I circle my tongue around the hard bud. Immediately, my dick strains against the wet fabric.
Electra’s back arches again as a whimper breaks free from her chest and her fingers slide through my hair, grabbing a firm hold of it as she presses my face closer to her breasts, smothering me in them and I don’t mind one bit.
“The other one,” she breathes out. “Suck the other one now, Exton,” she commands me, and I follow, switching to the other nipple while I flick the one I just had with my thumb. “Yes, yes,” she chants. “God, that feels so good. I feel so freaking good.”
I’m spurred on by her words, needing her to not simply feel but fly off into nirvana at my hands—and mouth—so, without releasing her tits, I trail my mouth down her body. Kissing and nibbling her breasts as I go and then flatten my tongue under them, giving the tender flesh there a good, long lick that nearly sends her off the bed.
Electra is restricted in her movement and it’s really impressive how she can wield her upper body without the lower. But I shouldn’t be surprised when she’s the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met.
As well as angry, mean, ruthless, stabby, and prickly and the reminder of her other gleaming qualities makes me sink my teeth into the soft, thin skin around her rib cage, pulling it as I suck it into my mouth.
“Ahhh, Exton,” she whimpers, and I release one of her breasts, soothing the spot I just assaulted with my fingers.
“Too much?” I ask but it takes her a few seconds to lift up her head and shake it, mouthing, “More.”
Her answer makes me feral, and I quickly slide down her body until I’m nestled in between her legs. Without hesitation, I wrap my fingers around her tiny ankles and push her legs over her body, folding her in half as I expose that beautiful pussy and her puckered little hole all to my hungry eyes.
I groan—or maybe cry out—at the sight, and the next thing I know I’m bending down to hoover over her aroused clit, sliding my nose over her folds as I inhale her scent deeply and when my nose travels over that rosebud she gasps.
Electra is panting as she watches me. “What are you—” she starts but breaks mid-sentence when I thrust her legs into her hands.
“Hold them nice and strong for me as I fuck your holes with my mouth.”
“H-holes?” she stutters. “Did you just say holes as in plural?”
“Yeah, Electra,” I send her a dark look. “Holes. As in plural.”
She whimpers but doesn’t say anything as her small hands tighten around her ankles and her head hits the bed again.
“Look at you. So fucking perfect, obedient, and edible,” I groan, running my hands over the smooth skin of the backs of her thighs, down to her round ass that sticks out for me so nicely and giving it a good squeeze as I’m watching her pussy get slicker and slicker.
“I felt that you are bare back in the bathtub, but Jesus Christ, you are really bare and it’s so fucking hot.”
“Um…” She swallows. “Yeah, I, uh, had it removed with laser a while back. You know, we can’t have anything showing when all we wear is basically a fancy version of underwear as a costume on ice.”
My gut fills with fire as I think about everyone being able to see her like this. Or even in one of those dresses. Fuck! It’s mine. Only mine. She’s only mine to see.
And what I wouldn’t give to fuck her pussy and then her ass all night long to stake the claim. But that’s not the plan for tonight. Not yet.
“So fucking beautiful.” I sink my teeth into the soft spot where her thigh meets her ass, and she nearly drops her legs when I do that. “Be a good girl, Electra. Don’t drop your legs while I make you see the stars that you are a part of.” I give her the last instruction before a lay a string of kisses over her ass right as I put my hands on both sides of her pussy and stretch it like a savage and dive into her.
There is no hesitation, no second guessing. Just my tongue straight into her slit as far as I can. Right until my nose meets her clit. She's even sweeter here and I laugh at all that sweetness from the inside.
I feel her fight her own body to move. Fight for her hips to grind against my mouth but she can’t, and those whimpers turn into cries, breaking my damn heart.
“Shhh, little star,” I breathe into her pussy, making her shudder. “No need to cry, you know I’ll give you anything you want.”
“I want to fucking move my hips. I want to move against you, and I can’t. I can’t be normal,” her voice sounds equal parts sad and angry.
“Fuck normal from the highest mountain,” I spit out, grabbing her ass in my palms and start moving it against my mouth like she would do herself if she could.
“Like this, baby? You wanted to feel my mouth all over you like this?” She lifts her head, watching me with what I can describe as amazement in her gaze.
“Y-yeah,” she rasps out, her tone still laced with tears but there is also so much gratitude in there. “God, why does your beard feels so damn good on my pussy,” she groans, and I start lifting her ass faster, grinding her against my mouth as I lick and suck her little clit, making sure my beard she likes grazes against her sensitive skin more and more.
Electra drops back down with a long moan just as she climaxes, those slick, hot walls of hers quivering around my tongue and I don’t want to let go of her ass, but I need to get my hand around my dick right the fuck now.
With one hand still helping her to ride out her orgasm I fist my erection with the other and give it a few good pumps, feeling my pre-cum already seeping out and I force myself to stop.
Later, I make a silent promise to my dick in hopes that he behaves for now.
“Th-that…that was…” Electra starts, but once again I don’t let her finish because I’m nowhere near done with her pleasure tonight. So, before her body has a chance to enter that blissful post-orgasmic coma, I push my finger back into her pussy and she sucks in a sharp breath, moaning out my name.
“Exton.”
Unable to form coherent sentences when my eyes are locked in on her ass hole I let out, “Not done.” And kiss that puckered entrance.
“Jesus Christ,” Electra squeaks, but dutifully keeps a firm hold on her legs for me. What a good girl. “You…you’re making out with my ass?”
“No, Electra,” I hum into it. “I’m eating it.” And plunge my tongue inside the tight entrance.
She immediately moans. It must be overstimulating for her to have both her pussy and ass filled at once after quite a long break.
A quick but ugly thought races through my mind, did that fucker touch her perfect ass? Did he ever taste her the way I do? Did he get this fucking hard for her?
“Never,” she murmurs under her breath, and I don’t know if I spoke those questions out loud or if she’s talking to herself again like she did in the bathtub, but it still makes me want to put a claim on her and roar “ she’s fucking mine.”
But I can’t take that from her, not when she might wake up tomorrow morning and regret it all.
She’s vulnerable tonight, her walls weak and lowered, and I may be a bastard, but I won’t be the one to take that away from her like this. The best I can do is lift her ass higher, squeeze it harder and fuck her holes with my mouth and finger until she sees not only the stars but the whole cosmos and falls through the black hole by the name Exton Quinn.
Electra moans even louder as she screams. “Never, Exton! Never…no one…just you.” I halt for a second, just one breath at realization that she was answering me only now I’m very much sure I never asked those questions aloud and she simply felt them inside my head.
My insides roar, my heart hammers against my chest, my dick is pulsing wildly as pre-cum paints my boxers because I’m the only one who’s had her like this. Just me.
If I didn’t already know that my obsession with her was unhealthy, I’d strongly believe it now because the fire that her words started inside me is unquenchable. It’s the forever kind.
And maybe a piece of that fire slides into her because her upper body flies off the bed as she screams and comes all over my finger, her sweet juices dripping down to her asshole where I lick up each and every drop like a starved man.
But I am one, I’m starved for her. Ever since I met her, I knew there was more. Deep inside this need was already brewing.
“Stop…stop. Please, Exton. I beg you, stop,” she whimpers as I stroke my finger over her sensitive clit, loving that despite her not being able to walk, all those nerve ends are intact and thriving.
“Hmm, I do like it when you beg.” I smile, kissing her ass one last time before I sit up, my cock trying to rip through now almost dry boxers.
Electra drops her legs, but I catch them right away, still holding them bent over as she lays her forearms over her face. “You’re insane.” She heaves, her breath still not back to normal and neither is mine.
“I didn’t know it was possible to not feel my already unfeeling legs,” Electra grumbles, and I chuckle, finally pulling her feet down and massaging the sore flesh. She might not feel it, but I can tell I overdid it tonight.
I pushed too hard. Fell into her too deep. But in truth, this was only the tip of the iceberg of what I want with her. Something that just barely scratched the surface to quench my insatiable thirst for her.
“Sorry, little star. I got a little carried away down there.” I keep squeezing her thighs, following with a kiss to every inch of her legs until I’m back at her lush backside. “Your ass is too sweet to simply walk away without a taste.” I wink, licking my lips and she blushes.
She fucking blushes after everything that already happened tonight. I suppress my laugh but won’t ever miss a chance to rile her up.
Crawling back up her body until my face is above hers, I pinch her nipple. “Maybe I should stick my tongue right back inside, I hear it helps to shed that prude persona. I mean, look at you a moment ago, basically begging to be fucked there, and now you’re all demure.”
She loses the serene look on her face and smacks my chest.
“Maybe you should stick it back inside because I liked you much better when your mouth was occupied.” I laugh at her dry delivery as if she’s not fazed by me, despite the pink cheeks and the three, or was it four, orgasms I gave her tonight.
Still laughing, I kiss her smart mouth. “Never change, angry elf. Never.” I give her a closed mouth kiss again and jump off the bed.
I run to the bathroom, grab a wet washcloth, and get back on the bed, cleaning up the mess we made while Electra watches me like I’m some kind of a riddle she can’t put together.
Eventually, she clears her throat just as I finish up. “You didn’t have to do that.”
I pause, looking at that washcloth in my hands. I guess I didn’t really have to, since I never did before. The girls I fucked always took care of themselves and it never bothered me but the simple thought of not doing it for Electra makes me feel wrong.
“Have to? No. Wanted to? Yes.”
“I could—”
I sigh, stopping her. “Before you tell me that you could do that yourself, I’m just gonna say one thing. Never happening.” I send her a look that says subject is closed and Electra wouldn’t be Electra if she simply took it and ran with it. Nope.
She sends me a glare, followed by a rolling of her eyes but at least she does shut up.
I drop the towel into the dirty laundry and collect the clothes I brought for her earlier, eyeing the leggings she usually sleeps in with distain right before I send them flying into the other side of the room.
Electra raises one eyebrow at me. “What have they done to offend you like that?”
“They were planning to cover your ass from me,” I grumble, reaching for the panties I chose as she rolls her lips together to prevent laughing but then her mouth quickly drops open when she sees the G-string I’m holding.
“Exton! I don’t sleep in those! They are not intended for sleeping.” She bulges her eyes at me as I take in her words, eyeing the tiny piece of fabric.
“You’re right,” I tell her and she’s about to sigh with relief when I simply send them flying to keep those leggings company in the corner and now Electra does break out in a laugh.
“Let me guess, they offended you too?”
“Yep. Actually, new rule. No clothes in bed.” I send the shirt to the ground as well.
“Um, is it just me or are those boxers on you?” She points with a saucy smirk on her face.
Never one to back down from a challenge, or show off my naked body, I rip them off and I hear her gasp.
“Exton.” She sucks in a sharp breath and props herself up by her hands into a sitting position. “You…you…you didn’t get off.” Her eyes are locked in on my impressive erection if I do say so myself.
“How did you guess?” I try to joke but she doesn’t bite.
“Why not?”
I sigh, sliding next to her in bed. “It wasn’t about me. I didn’t need to get off. Tonight was about you.”
“So, it’s not pity but charity?” she sneers. “Because I don’t want that either.”
Jesus Christ, how did she get that out of it.
“It wasn’t a fucking charity.”
“Yeah? So, you do this with a lot of women? Get them off but not yourself?”
“Mm-hmm,” I lie, turning to my side and grabbing a hold of her, press her back to my chest. Spooning, like we always do, except this time it’s a conscious decision instead of always somehow waking up this way. And we are naked. Really naked…
“Jerk,” she spits out. “Let go of me!” Electra slaps my arm, but I do no such thing. Instead, I bring her even closer as tingles erupts over my insides, bringing that giddiness back. Similar to the one I felt in that gym the first time I kissed her and figured out she might like me.
But this is so much better because maybe, just maybe, she feels more?
“Are you jealous, angry elf?” I hum into her neck, pushing her long hair out of the way with my nose.
“Me? Jealous? Of what?”
“Oh fuck, I’m getting hard all over again at the thought, I groan.
“You’re sick. You need help. Maybe you should go see one of those women to give you a hand. Or a pussy,” she bites out with so much of that green oozing out of her, I nearly double over laughing.
“Not jealous, huh?” I bite her shoulder and now she shrugs me off violently.
“Jesus Christ, angry elf. It’s just you. Only you. Of course, I’ve slept with other people, but they were fuck toys—nothing more, nothing less. Scratch that, they could definitely be even less than that and never once did I care for their pleasure.” Electra freezes but I press my erection harder into her body. “My fingers, mouth, cock and all other parts of me— all of them —belong to you.” I pause, feeling her breath hitch at the insinuation I made. “Whenever you are ready to accept them. They are yours.”
I kiss the mark I left on her shoulder, hoping one is forming on her heart.
Electra is silent after that, and I think she must’ve fell asleep when she says softly, “Is that why you didn’t fuck me tonight? Not because I’m a cripple?”
My eyes fly open as I sharply pull away from her and roll her on her back, staring into her eyes that hold too much vulnerability in them. Fuck, she really thought I didn’t want to fuck her with my dick? That it wouldn’t be the best night of my life if I could?
“Electra, little star.” I brush my fingers over her cheekbone gently, sweetly and then in equally calm and sweet voice I add, “Did it keep me away from you tonight? Is my hard as fuck cock not an indication of how badly I want you?”
“Then why not?” she breathes out.
Not one part of me feels like she is less. Not one part of me is repulsed or vary of her because of her disability, and even if she can never walk again, I’ll gladly carry her in my arms every day for the rest of our lives and then fuck her senseless every night because she’s mine. Walking or not, I claimed her. I fell in love with her.
I bring my face as close as I can to hers without touching her.
“When I finally have you on your back, spearing your tiny pussy in two as I watch my cock getting swallowed up by your pink lips, I want you to be begging for it. In clear mind and heart, not because you are drunk on pleasure. I don’t just want to fuck you, Electra. I want to own you. All of you, and when you are ready to surrender to me, then I’ll make love to you.” I pause for a second, lowering my voice and my fingers as they reach her hard nipple, pinching it and she swallows her moan. “And then I’ll fuck you. Hard. Because my girl will be able to take it. She will be eager for my cock, eager to be my little whore and lover and everything in between.”
Maybe I was expecting her to say something, but she doesn’t, just licks her lips, breathing slowly and turns her head away.
And maybe my heart cracks a little at that but I plop back behind her, wrapping her in my arms again. The silence in the dark room stretches further and deep until I’m sure she’s asleep but all of a sudden, Electra jerks in my hold.
“The movie. We forgot about the movie.” I shake my head. Well, there’s a way to avoid a subject. But I’ll let her.
“Shhh, let’s just go to sleep. The movie can wait until tomorrow.”
“But I was looking forward to it tonight,” she pouts, and I chuckle, nuzzling my nose into her neck.
“I created a monster, haven’t I?”
“Yes, yes, you have..”
“See? I told you they were amazing. Now, who’s going to show you all the cool movies when I’m gone?” I say it as a joke even though a part of me beats against my chest at the idea of leaving here. Leaving her. But it’s inevitable and I’d love to say I don’t remember her words from back then, from that day on the lake when she admitted to being all too happy to make that happen sooner rather than later, but I do. And even though I’m joking, I’m also hurting because what I feel for her is so past the norm, I no longer know if I’ll be able to exist.
“I didn’t mean that.” Electra’s voice is barely a whisper, and I stiffen.
“Didn’t mean what?”
“What I said that day, talking about how I’ll be happy to help you pack your bags. I didn’t mean that. It’s just…” she trails off, squeezing my fingers with her tiny ones tighter as if she needs to be held through whatever she’s working out in her head and heart.
“It’s just what?” I prod, trying to tame the eagerness to hear her deny it. To admit that she feels something too and I’m not the only one who is losing his damn mind here. To have her patch the little ding she placed in my heart with that comment.
“Nothing.” She brushes it off, and I tell myself it’s okay. That I’m used to this. That I knew what I was getting myself into and that I did good by not fucking her when I feel a tiny drop fall to my arm underneath her head, to that tattoo of her lips, but before I can jump up and see what happened, she whispers, “It’s just…I’m scared of breaking again, Exton. And you,” she pauses as another drop falls to my arm, “you can break me beyond repair.”
I swipe my thumb underneath her breast, right over her thundering heart.
“You can’t break what you love the most in your life, Electra.”