Thirty-Five
Scarlett
“I ’ll be back in a minute, darlin’,” James’s gentle voice touches my ear as his soft lips drop to my neck.
A soft shiver runs through me, settling deeply between my thighs. I offer a small nod in acknowledgement as he slips out through the slider to have a cigarette. No matter how familiar I am with our morning routine, he still manages to have this effect on me every day.
I move to get my coffee, knowing that he’ll be back within minutes to join me for breakfast. I open the cabinet, pulling out a mug for each of us. I set his down, but reach for the coffee pot to start filling mine. Just as I turn towards the fridge, in search of creamer, Dad pushes through the door.
“Mornin’,” he offers roughly.
“Good morning,” I reply. “Coffee?” I ask, focusing on him, but his gaze is locked down on the phone clutched in his palm.
“Nah, I need a smoke first,” he answers, the cigarette already hanging from his lip.
“Okay,” I breathe out as he exits through the sliding glass door.
I’ve been trying for weeks to get him to talk to me without much luck. But every morning, I get to watch as he and James have their morning cigarettes together. They talk and laugh while they smoke. For the life of me, I can’t figure out how he so easily forgave James, when he’ll barely even look in my direction.
“Good morning,” Trish’s chipper voice pulls my attention away from the two men in my life. “I’ve got some muffins in the oven that should be almost done,” she shares.
“I was wondering what smelled so good,” I smile back.
“Down to your last two weeks, you must be getting excited?” Trish asks.
“Yeah, I can’t believe how fast the time has gone,” I answer. It’s been almost two months since I decided to move to South Carolina with James.
For obvious reasons, we couldn’t just pack up and leave. The club needed him to stick around and keep working with Miles and West. But the boys finally had their patch-in party last week, which meant James’s skills were no longer required in Vegas. He’s dedicated though, and he wanted to stick around as back-up for a little while longer.
“What’s on your mind? I can practically see it spinning in that pretty head of yours,” Trish asks and I find my gaze has fallen back to James and my dad, watching them through the glass.
“I just don’t get it,” I start. “He’s barely been able to look at me since I told him I was leaving, but they’re like two peas in a pod out there. And they’re like this every day,” I tell her, waving my arm at the two of them laughing together just outside the glass.
“They’re men. They can throw a few insults at each other, then have a couple drinks, and the next thing you know they’re laughing it up and all is forgiven,” she explains.
A gentle laugh falls from my chest, knowing just how right she is. I turn to see her pulling the tray of muffins from the oven and finally take a seat at the counter. Lifting my steaming mug, I slowly take my first sip of coffee.
“The real issue isn’t with you, it’s Ray thinking that he failed. Another woman he loves is leaving him. But he’ll come around. I can see in his eyes how badly he wants to talk to you about it, he just doesn’t know what to say,” Trish offers some insight that completely crushes my chest.
“I never thought about that,” I breathe out, feeling on the verge of tears. “I’m not leaving him, I just… I mean, I want to feel like I’m finally a part of this life with James. And I can’t do that in this house. It would be too awkward. And not just for me, it would be weird for everyone. I love my dad. He can’t really think this is because I want to leave him…” the words start to tumble.
“Take a breath, honey. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Trish’s hand touches my arm.
“I…uh… I think I’m going to take my coffee to my room. I need a minute,” I tell her, standing from my stool. “Could you just tell James when he comes back in?” I add, not waiting for an answer as I make a quick exit.
???
Sitting on the edge of my bed, my coffee cup rests lightly on my thigh as my eyes move around the room. A million thoughts and memories flood my mind as gentle tears begin to roll. I thought my dad was just mad because he wasn’t getting his own way, acting like a child. I never imagined that I was actually hurting him by making this decision.
The door cracks open and James is instantly kneeling beside me, his hand lifting to hold my cheek. “What’s got you so upset?” he questions, his voice offering some comfort.
“I…can’t,” I start but my voice catches in my throat and a tiny sob breaks free.
“Can’t what, darlin? I need you to talk to me, otherwise I’m about to go bust some fuckin’ heads to find out what or who made you so upset,” he tries, and I have no doubt that he’s serious.
“It was something Trish said,” I squeak out. “She didn’t mean to. She just opened my eyes to why my dad is really taking this so hard. It’s not that he doesn’t want me to go, it’s that it reminds him of when my mom left. She left and never came back. He thinks that if I go, I’ll never come home,” I share.
“Baby, this is a completely different situation. Deep down, he knows that you’ll be back. We’ll come back and visit. Plus, he can come to South Carolina anytime he wants to see you. We’re a family, the club is family,” James assures me.
“Either way, I think I want to leave most of this stuff here,” I tell him.
“I need to know, is this you changing your mind? Because I’ll call Ryder right now and tell him I’m staying,” he asks, his deep voice sounding strained.
“No. I still want to go, and I’ll still bring some of it with me. But I think that if I leave it like this, then maybe he’ll trust that I’ll be back. This can be our room when we visit,” I decide.
“Anything you want, darlin’,” James smiles, gently cupping my cheeks as he places a kiss to my forehead.