5. Flowersa Gun
CHAPTER 5
Flowers or a Gun
ALISTAIR
Ivy and I clasp each other’s hands as we follow a high-care nurse to the ICU wing where Ariana is recovering. We know where it is because Ivy’s brother Jamie’s there, but the world feels upside-down and I’ve never felt comfortable in hospitals, so I’m grateful to have someone to follow without having to think.
Hospitals remind me of the brutal attack that took Ariana away from us, because we used to visit Henderson while he was healing from the bullet he took trying to save her life. We were drowning in despair and grief, but visiting Henderson and bringing him gifts were the bright spots in those awful days. He had lost his father and a beautiful friend in Ariana, and we had lost our beloved sister. We reeled and mourned together. We sat on his hospital bed and shared the chocolates we had brought, played cards and Nintendo, watched the 80s films that made our childhood—The Goonies, E.T., Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Indiana Jones.
Now, unbelievably, it’s Ariana in the hospital, and my head is spinning. Ivy sees me slow down and squeezes my hand. I’m so grateful to have her by my side. I feel as if she is holding me up. I hope she doesn’t sense it—I am her protector and want her to always feel safe at my side.
The high-care nurse turns to give us an encouraging smile, then slides the door to Ariana’s room open. I should have brought something, but I’m not sure what. Flowers, or a gun? Ariana’s my sister, but I can’t ignore the fact that she tried to murder my family. She had twenty-six years to return home, to find her way back to us, but chose not to . Then when she did, it was to kill us. I can’t make sense of it.
The machines beep and whirr, monitoring her vitals. I can see and hear her heart beating on the monitor. She’s reclining at an angle, long hair splayed over her pillow, skin pale as snow.
Beautiful. Lost.
A dangerous enemy.
A beloved sister with Ravenscroft blood in her veins.
I swallow hard, not knowing what to expect.
Ivy and I exchange a glance. She nods, releases my hand, and goes to sit in the corner while I take the chair beside the bed. I almost take Ariana’s hand, but decide against it. I don’t know where I stand and would hate for her to wake up in a panic because her enemies are in her room. I’m sure she feels vulnerable enough, being immobile and in ICU.
As I watch her face, I realize she’s not asleep. I don't know if she's pretending to sleep because she's scared or because she doesn't want to talk.
"Ariana," I say softly. “It's Alistair. Your brother. Do you remember me?"
I see her lashes flutter. Slowly the lids open, and she's looking directly at me. In my peripheral vision, I see Ivy shift in the corner. My gaze remains on Ariana. I know those eyes so well despite not seeing them for so long. I feel my love for her well up in my chest, pushing my confusion away. No matter what happened, no matter what the future holds, this is her. This is my baby sister, Ariana.
“I thought that I'd lost you," I choke out. "We all thought we had lost you."
She stares back at me, her expression cold.
"We thought you were dead. We had a funeral. We've been grieving ever since.”
I suspect that she will remain silent, but she soon proves me wrong. "You abandoned me,” she whispers.
“What?” I demand. I'm not angry, just shocked. "What do you mean? How can you say that?"
“Daddy was right," she whispers. "He said he would never come for me, and he was right.”
“Daddy?” I echo, floundering. We never called our parents mummy or daddy. Never. Then it dawns on me. “You mean De Luca?”
She nods. She looks so fragile, so childlike.
“So Angelo De Luca staged your death and then told you we’d never come for you."
"Angelo took care of me, he was more of a father to me than Gregory ever was.”
"Angelo abducted you, Ariana. He may have pretended he was a better father, but good people don't steal children ."
“He was right though," she says, voice soft. “You never did come for me."
"We didn't come for you because we thought you were dead, " I thunder back. "Harry saw you get shot. He almost died trying to save your life. His father died trying to protect you.”
Ariana winces at that. She must remember that part.
I continue, my anger growing. “We saw the blood … we found your dress drenched in your blood."
She juts her chin. “But there was no body, was there?”
I shake my head, frustrated. “I was twelve! We had the dress!”
“Father never checked for a body!”
“Ariana,” I reply, trying to keep my cool but failing dismally. “You know that in this business, not finding a body doesn't mean anything. We never found Henderson Senior’s body either. That's what we have cleaners for.”
If we all do our jobs, there are never bodies to be found.
Her eyes tear up. “But it was me. Your sister. Surely you would look? ”
“Look where? ” I demand, desperate for her to understand that we would have done absolutely anything to find her if we had believed her to be alive. “Can’t you see that De Luca manipulated you? He kidnapped you and told you that if we loved you, we’d come looking. But he staged your death so convincingly, and we were … insane with grief. Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to us. So, no, we didn’t go looking. It would have been a sign of mental instability to look for a dead daughter. A dead sister.”
My mind flashes back to a nature documentary I had seen a long time ago where a vervet monkey carried around her dead baby like a ragdoll because she couldn’t accept that the baby had not survived.
I take a calming breath and dismiss the disturbing image. “I realize how much it would have hurt to wait for us to come find you at the De Lucas, and for it to never happen. But it wasn’t because we didn’t love you. On the contrary, we were all mad with mourning. Father has never been the same. He’s a flimsy shadow of the man we used to know.”
Ariana blinks at me. I can tell that she is turning this over in her brain.
“I have to ask you,” I say. “Why didn't you come looking for us? I mean, when you were a bit older—surely you would come back to us, if only just to express your hurt?”
Twenty-six years was a long time to stay away from your family, no matter the circumstances.
Ariana’s gaze turns cold once more. “Because the Ravenscrofts are the enemy.”