Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
marlowe
S leep evades me that night .
I lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling and thinking of Gunner. I’ve replayed our argument over and over in my mind, dissecting it from every angle and wishing futilely that the outcome could have been different.
When I saw him today, I could tell how much he was hurting from his father’s latest relapse. I could see the pain and anger in his eyes, hear it in his strained voice.
After getting his father settled in, he’d retreated to his study and closed the door, remaining there for the rest of the evening. I wanted to go to him and make sure he was okay. I wanted to tell him I was there for him, ready to offer comfort or just be a sounding board. But I didn’t think he’d want to see me, and his rejection would have been too devastating in my fragile emotional state.
I roll onto my side and stare bleakly out the window. I wonder if he’s sleeping right now, or lying wide awake like me.
I wonder if I’ve consumed his thoughts as much as he’s consumed mine.
I wonder if he misses me as badly as I miss him.
Around midnight I finally give up on sleep and crawl out of bed, throw on a robe and tiptoe downstairs.
The mansion is full of moon shadows, silence echoing through the halls. I can almost hear myself breathing as I roam around, restless as a ghost, eventually ending up in the living room. I’m drawn to the grand piano, gleaming like a beacon in the moonlight.
I sit on the piano bench and slowly trail my fingers along the keys without pressing down. The main bedrooms are tucked away in a separate wing, and the living room is soundproofed. So I don’t have to worry about waking the whole house if I play a song.
Biting my lip, I press middle C with my thumb. The single note rings out, evocatively pure and sweet. I stroke another key, holding it down as sorrow unfurls inside me like a fragile ribbon.
Closing my eyes, I let my fingers slide over the ivory keys, picking out the solemn notes from the first movement of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.
I play quietly, letting the music soak into me, every note deepening my melancholy.
I feel him before I see him.
The air shifts around me, and the skin on the back of my neck prickles with awareness.
And then he’s standing right behind me, his body warm against my back.
I continue playing the piano, my heart punching at my ribs.
He sits down, straddling the bench so that he’s facing me. He doesn’t say a word. Just stares down at my hands moving over the keyboard as Beethoven’s haunting melody drifts through the room and fills the space between us.
After an endless moment, he reaches out and ghosts a hand over my hair.
I look at him, breathless.
He returns my gaze. The intensity in his eyes nearly unravels me.
Swallowing tightly, I turn away from him and start playing the second movement of the sonata.
He listens for a few moments, then brushes my hair off my shoulder and lowers his face to the side of my neck. His breath is warm and uneven against my skin, sending a rush of goose bumps down my arms.
I can feel the heavy sadness shrouding him. The weight of it wraps around my heart, invisible fingers squeezing my throat until I have to stop playing.
As complete silence envelops the room, he presses his lips against my skin, just below my ear.
I shiver at the sensation, my breath catching in my throat.
Slowly he lifts his head from my shoulder, his blue eyes glittering like sapphires in the moonlight.
With shaking fingers, I reach out and touch his stubble-darkened cheek, my eyes lost in his. I feel so much for him in this moment. Too much to contain.
He leans in slowly, the heat of his breath warming my mouth before he brushes his lips over mine.
A soft, helpless moan escapes me and floats through the air.
The sound seems to unleash something in him, because he clasps my waist in his hands and lifts me onto his lap so that our bodies are pressed close together, my legs straddling him on the bench.
Holding me tight, he crushes his mouth to mine in a kiss of such raw, aching need that my blood sings in my veins, igniting my entire body. Whimpering his name, I rake my fingers through the silky strands of his hair, deepening the kiss while grinding my pussy against his thigh.
He makes a guttural sound, low and thrillingly rough.
My heart thunders in my ears as he drags my robe off my shoulders and pulls off my nightshirt in one deft sweep. With a look of fierce purpose, he whips his T-shirt over his head and throws it to the floor with the other discarded garments. Then he takes my mouth again, parting my lips with the hot thrust of his tongue. I gasp at the pleasure of it and cling to his shoulders, caught in a swirling storm of emotions and sensations.
I hear a snap as he tears away my lace boy shorts, and then he plunges two fingers inside me. My spine arches and my belly ripples as he strokes my slick flesh, increasing the pressure with his thumb on my clit. Hot arcs of heat claw through my body, blurring my vision.
Letting my head fall back, I release a throaty groan when he sucks my aching breast into his mouth. I ride his hand, my breath coming out in shuddery gasps as my hips twist and grind against him, the bench rocking beneath our weight.
He sucks hard on my nipple while his thumb rubs my clit and his fingers pump inside me, curling against my G-spot with every stroke. I rock my hips faster, my body coiling tighter and tighter until an orgasm overtakes me, making me cry out.
Gunner growls darkly as my muscles clench viciously around his fingers, every nerve in my body sizzling. I bite into his shoulder to muffle a wail as my climax stretches on and on, pulsing through me like waves and making my thighs tremble against his.
My pussy is still spasming when he withdraws his fingers and licks them clean of my juices, his expression carnal.
“Oh God,” I whimper, closing my eyes.
He slams the piano lid shut and lifts me on top of it. I gasp, my legs wrapping around his hips as he shoves his pants down over his ass. I hear the smack of his cock springing into his palm, then he fills me in one long forceful stroke.
I let out a sob of pleasure and cross my ankles behind his back. Buried impossibly deep, he begins thrusting into me with a barely restrained edge of violence. His fingers dig into my thighs, holding me tight to him as he fucks me with deep, urgent strokes. The impact of his big body slamming against mine makes my heart ricochet in my chest.
Gazing into his fierce eyes, I slip my free hand around the back of his neck and pull his mouth down to mine. He growls low in his throat, a sound of primitive hunger that reverberates through every inch of me.
I press my needy body against his, straining to bring us even closer. When I clutch his flexing ass cheek, his cock swells and he groans into our kiss.
His hips snap faster, rocking me against the piano’s smooth surface as he pounds into me, taking his pleasure from my body while exorcising his demons.
Our tongues tangle feverishly, every thrust of his hips driving my heels into his back. The hot, wet sound of our skin slapping together fills the moonlit room, an erotic symphony like no other.
I moan and cling tightly to him, the scent of raw sex in the air driving me wild. When we explode together, he throws back his head with a pained groan, his hot seed flooding my body in thick spurts. I bury my scream in his chest, quaking with pleasure as my nails score the flesh of his ass.
Long moments later, I slump against him, the tension ebbing from my body. He’s breathing hard, his mouth open on my neck as he cradles me to him. His cock is still throbbing inside me, extending my orgasm and sending little aftershocks along my spine.
As my eyes flutter closed, I walk my fingers up and down his sweaty back, soothing and caressing him as our breathing slowly evens out. When he murmurs my name, I realize it’s the first time he’s spoken, and somehow that makes our encounter even hotter.
Lifting his head, he smooths my hair back from my face. With a languid sigh, I drop my forehead on his shoulder, my legs draped limply around his waist.
“I was rough with you,” he says gruffly after a long silence. “I hope I didn’t hurt you.”
“You didn’t.” Not tonight anyway.
He brushes a kiss across my cheek. Tingling warmth climbs up from my toes to spread through my veins.
“Thank you for the flowers,” I say quietly. “They were beautiful but . . . unnecessary.”
I feel his throat bob as he swallows roughly. “I’m sorry for being such an asshole to you. The last thing I ever want to do is cause you pain.”
My throat grows thick with emotion, and I swallow it down.
Then he slides his mouth to my ear and whispers, “I’m fucking crazy about you, sweetheart.”
My heart goes wild, tears pricking my eyes. “I’m crazy about you, too,” I whisper back.
He tunnels his fingers into my hair and pulls my face up to his for a searing kiss that melts away some of my anxiety.
We both come away breathless and panting, our foreheads resting against each other’s.
“Come on,” he whispers, his cock thickening inside me. “Let’s take this reunion upstairs before someone walks in on us and gets an eyeful.”
after two more rounds of lovemaking , we lay together in a tangle of damp sheets, my head nestled on his chest as his hand strokes up and down my sweat-slicked back.
“I missed you,” he husks.
Pleasure warms my insides. “I missed you, too.”
“These past two days have been pure hell without you. Don’t ever leave me again, Marlowe. I can’t take it.”
His words pull at my heartstrings. “I didn’t want to leave. I just . . . I needed some space. I was hurt?—”
“I know, baby.” He buries his lips in my hair. “I’m sorry for hurting you. Seeing you with Harlan really fucked me up, but that doesn’t excuse the way I treated you.”
I feel myself softening even more. “Maybe I overreacted a little. You were obviously very upset?—”
“I was, but I should’ve handled myself better.”
“Same goes for me. I should’ve stayed and talked things through instead of running off to Quinn’s. I won’t do that again.”
He presses another kiss to the top of my head, whispering endearments I can’t quite catch.
After a minute, I prop my chin on his chest and search his face quietly. “Why do you hate Harlan so much?”
His eyes darken with suppressed anger. “We have history.”
Clearly. “What kind of history?”
I feel the increased tension in his body, but he doesn’t respond.
“Please stop shutting me out, Gunner,” I plead in frustration. “This relationship won’t work if we keep secrets from each other.”
He clenches his jaw as he holds my gaze. After a few moments, he reluctantly starts talking. “When I acquired my energy company two years ago, Harlan led a campaign to short our stock. It tanked the price and cost us millions. Took months for the company to recover.”
“That’s awful,” I murmur in disbelief. “Why would he do that?”
“Because he’s a vindictive son of a bitch. Always has been.”
“How long have you known him?”
“Too fucking long,” Gunner says darkly. “We went to the same high school in Dallas, and our grandparents ran in the same social circles and belonged to the same country club. Harlan resented me and my brother because we were more popular than him despite being newcomers. He enjoyed starting rumors about us, and he never missed an opportunity to remind people that our father was a disgraced drunkard who bankrupted our family.”
I frown. “What a raging asshole.”
“Among other things.” Gunner pauses, his jaw tightening even more. “During our junior year, I slept with his girlfriend. He’d been a thorn in our side since the day we met, and I wanted to inflict some pain of my own. So when his girlfriend hit on me at a party, I took her upstairs and fucked her. When Harlan found out the next day, he was furious. So furious that he retaliated by banging my mother.”
I gasp in shock. “Your mother? ”
Gunner nods tightly, glaring at the ceiling. “He came on to her at a holiday charity gala. She was feeling lonely and vulnerable, and she’d had one too many drinks that night. So she welcomed Harlan’s attention. They snuck off together and checked into a hotel. The next day he couldn’t wait to track me down to tell me what he’d done. He bragged about how desperate she was, how she begged for it. Said he taped the whole thing.” Gunner’s hand balls into a fist against my back before he snarls, “I beat the shit out of him, but that wasn’t enough. I wanted to kill him. I almost did.”
A shiver ripples down my spine. “What happened?”
“He threatened to leak the tape.”
“Oh, my God.”
“He was eighteen, so legally my mother was safe. But the scandal would have rocked our family and destroyed her reputation. If word got out that she slept with a high school student—and a sex tape existed—she would’ve been too humiliated to ever show her face in public again. There’s also a very good chance my grandparents would have disowned her.”
“Wow,” I whisper, staring at Gunner. “What did you do?”
“I hacked into his phone and computer to erase the video. While poking around, I found evidence that he’d been stealing exams from teachers for two whole years. I copied the incriminating files, then drove straight to his house and showed him the dirt I’d uncovered. He was speechless. I told him if he ever breathed a word about sleeping with my mother, I’d get him suspended for cheating. I also promised to notify the admissions office of every college and university he’d ever thought of applying to. By the time I was done with him, he’d be lucky to get accepted into a certificate course.” A menacing half smile curls Gunner’s lips. “He took me at my word. And that was the end of our high school feud.”
“Holy shit,” I breathe, both awed and shocked by his ruthlessness. “Remind me never to get on your bad side.”
He gives a humorless chuckle. “The pathetic bastard waited ten years to rekindle our beef. After he shorted my company’s stock, I reached out to a friend at the Securities and Exchange Commission. He paid Harlan a little visit and . . . Let’s just say he’ll think twice before tampering with any of my companies again.”
“Good. Serves him right.”
Gunner strokes my hair, his eyes boring into mine. “He might have been deterred from waging more economic battles against me, but that doesn’t mean he won’t use another attack strategy. It wasn’t a coincidence that he spoke to your class. He’s my enemy and he’ll stop at nothing to hurt me, including going after you. Can you see that now?”
“I do. And I’ll keep my distance from him. Gladly.”
Gunner’s eyes soften in approval before he pulls me closer. I resettle my head on his chest, placing my hand over his heart. He kisses the top of my head and resumes stroking my back.
After a few moments, I ask quietly, “How did your mom feel about Harlan threatening to expose their one-night stand?”
Gunner stiffens at the question. “I never told her.”
“She doesn’t know? Even after all these years?”
“She doesn’t need to know. I handled it.”
The bite in his tone gives me pause.
“You’re probably right. Some things are better left in the past,” I murmur, tracing his nipple with my finger. “But if she knew what you did for her, protecting her the way you did, I’m sure it would mean a lot to her. She might even?—”
“Treat me better? Love me more?” His voice holds a hard cynical edge. “She wouldn’t.”
He speaks with such certainty that my heart breaks for him. I kiss his chest and stroke his rigid jaw, silently offering comfort as he stares out the windows at the moonlight shimmering on the dark lake.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about Kauai,” he says quietly after a moment. “I’d give anything to be there with you right now.”
“I feel the same. So, so much.” I tip my head back to kiss his chin, smiling when his beard stubble tickles my lips, thicker than the usual amount. “You haven’t been shaving.”
“Haven’t felt like it.”
“ Tsk-tsk , Mr. CEO. Totally unacceptable.”
His lips curve into an almost smile.
Sobering after a moment, I say softly, “I’m sorry your father had a relapse. I know how difficult that must have been for you.”
“Not as difficult as it’s gonna be for him,” Gunner mutters with dark satisfaction. “He’s gonna feel like shit when he wakes up, and I couldn’t be fucking happier about that.”
I can’t suppress a smile. “Mrs. Calder told me he rented a Rolls-Royce limo and bribed several staff members to look the other way while he absconded to a casino.”
Gunner grunts in disgust. “That’s why we’re decreasing his monthly allowance. He clearly has too much money and time on his hands. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I’ve had enough of his bullshit for one day.”
We fall silent for a while, each lost in our own private thoughts. There’s so much I want to say, so much I still need to hear from him.
I finally break the silence. “Gunner?”
“What, baby?” he murmurs.
“How did you propose to Laurene?”
His body tenses beneath me, and I swallow.
“What do you mean?” he says slowly.
“Where did you propose to her?”
“Why does it matter?”
“I just want to know. I’m curious.”
There’s a long pause. He’s deliberating over his answer, weighing the potential impact of his words.
“I proposed over dinner at her favorite restaurant,” he finally says. “We had an official engagement party a month later at her parents’ estate on Martha’s Vineyard.”
I trace his collarbone with my fingertips. “When you proposed, did you get down on one knee?”
He hesitates, then shakes his head. “We’d been discussing marriage for a while, so my proposal didn’t come as a complete surprise.”
“Did she cry?”
“No.” There’s a wry note in his voice. “She’s not the sentimental type.”
“But she was happy?”
“Very,” he murmurs.
I fall silent, processing his words.
I hate that I let Laurene get to me the way she did. I hate that even now, lying in Gunner’s arms, I’m insanely jealous of her. I hate that she met him first. Hate that she touched him, stroked him, made love to him before me. I hate that she won his heart, to the extent that he asked her to marry him.
I hate her. Period.
Uncomfortable with my prolonged silence, Gunner whispers, “Say something.”
“Like what?”
“Anything.”
I swallow tightly. “You were going to spend the rest of your life with her.”
The muscles in his jaw flex. “That was the plan.”
“Are you . . . do you still love her?”
He goes silent.
I wait for his answer, my heart thudding painfully against my ribs.
His chest rises and falls on a deep exhale. “It’s complicated.”
Disappointment slashes through me. “So I’ll take that as a yes.”
“No.” He pauses, choosing his next words carefully. “I don’t know if I ever did. Love her, I mean.”
I lift myself onto one elbow and look down at him, searching his face. “Why did you propose if you didn’t love her?”
“Like I said . . . it’s complicated.”
I don’t know what to make of that.
He pushes his hand into my hair, cupping the back of my head as he stares intently into my eyes. “You have nothing to worry about. Laurene and I are over, and I made that crystal clear to her. She won’t be a problem for us, I swear to you.”
Relief floods through me, tingling from head to toe. “Can you change the security code?—”
“Already did. Even if she’s foolish enough to show up here again, she won’t get past the front gate.”
Satisfied with his response, I climb on top of him, straddling his hips. He settles his hands on my thighs and stares up at me with those ocean-deep eyes.
“Sweetheart—”
“I love you.” Watching his gaze darken, I plunge bravely ahead. “You don’t have to say it back. In fact I don’t want you to, not right now, because I’d just end up wondering if you only said it to appease me.” I take his hand and place it over my galloping heart. “I’ve never been in love before. Frankly, I’m scared shitless. But I can’t run from my feelings anymore. I love you, Gunner, and I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me.”
With a rough sound of longing, he flips me over and pins me beneath him, his forehead pressed to mine. The fierce look in his eyes could be love, or something very close to it. Whatever it is, it takes my breath away.
“Do you have any idea how much I need you?” he says, his voice raspy with emotion. “I prayed for you without even knowing you were possible. You’re the girl of my dreams, the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m never letting you go.”
As a rush of happiness washes over me, I take his face in my hands and whisper, “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here with you.”
“That means everything to me. You mean everything to me.” He kisses my mouth, staring into my eyes as he whispers, “Don’t ever forget that. Okay, baby? Never fucking forget.”