18. Rachel
18
RACHEL
"S mack them with the paddle! Smack them with the paddle!"
I sliced my double-sided oar into the churning river and pulled the kayak forward. It bumped over a rock, and I slid back into Derrick's lap.
Oops.
Valeria and Frankie's kayak was right behind us, and Tina and Maria were trailing behind them. Tina was the one screaming at Valeria to hit our kayak so we'd be pushed into the bank of the river and they could slide ahead.
Derrick and I were in the lead by five points in this crazy competition, despite him complaining about us being teammates. But he had no choice. Everyone else was coupled up except us.
After we arrived last night, we lounged around eating grilled meat and a ton of chips and dip while I avoided questions about my personal life. Typically, I don't shy away from talking about myself, but everything was so fucked up and confusing right now.
Derrick's dad had been polite, and his mom had barely acknowledged me. They had spent most of their time watching the grandkids, giving Maria and her husband, Jimmy, a break.
The family had stayed up and played board games, but I had been exhausted and had gone to bed early, which was lucky because Maria had woken the house up with a bullhorn at eight in the morning.
The games had begun at nine, way too early for me, but here we were, four games and half a day later, flying down the rapids in a one-person kayak. Hence, why I was practically in Derrick's lap.
We had started with a swim race across the smooth as silk lake this morning, churning up the peaceful water. They had taken it easy on me until I zipped past everyone with my shark-like speed.
Thank you, Amma, for all the summers I had to wake up early and freeze my ass off for neighborhood swim team.
After that, the gloves were off. No one held back.
Next was archery, which—no shocker—Derrick was really good at, and I, surprisingly, didn't suck.
Then everyone ganged up on Derrick and me during paintball. I had bruises the size of golf balls, and my skin looked like I had taken a bath in a rainbow.
"Your family fights dirty," I huffed as we pulled three strokes ahead. I slid forward and backward as I paddled, hitting his groin with my ass.
"Move forward," he grumbled, rowing hard with his oar.
My heels dug into the footwells, and I tugged my butt forward. It was slippery from the water sluicing into the boat, and I slid right back between his legs.
"I can't. It's too slick."
Derrick mumbled something and tilted his hips away, but it was no use. It was snug in our little kayak.
"Dude, if you get a boner, I'll take it as a compliment. Now concentrate."
"I'll take it as an insult. I thought my dick had better judgment," Derrick deadpanned.
I slapped his thigh, resting my hand on the firm muscle. "You made a joke."
"Hands on the paddle!"
"Sir, yes, sir," I said and did as instructed.
Twenty yards downstream there was a group of people on the right bank, waving their hands and yelling. I spotted Derrick's parents, who were disqualified when his dad was caught cheating at paintball—he was double-fisting the rifles.
I guessed that wasn't allowed in the Jacques Family Olympics, but it was very Matt Damon in Jason Bourne . Next to them was Maria's husband and their three kids.
To my bewilderment, the kids weren't allowed to play in the so-called official games. There was a mini-Olympics later in the day for them.
I stole a glance behind me. Valeria and Frankie were a boat length away.
"Faster, Muscles!" I screamed. My little arms were rowing with all my might, but it was Derrick doing most of the work with his tree trunk arms.
Suddenly the side of the boat smashed into a rock jutting up from under the surface. My hands flew to Derrick's calves to keep my ass in the boat, and my paddle slid into the water.
"Oh shit!" I reached over to grab it, but the boat was unsteady, and the left side tipped into the water and I tumbled over.
Derrick's hand flew out and he snatched my bathing suit bottom, yanking me back in the boat, but we overcorrected and I flew over the other side, the boat tipping to the right.
My balance was shot. I had nothing to grab on to. I flung my hands out to prevent me from face-planting into the rocky bottom, and Derrick yanked my bikini bottom again, but it was no use.
I plunged into the icy water, my bottoms sliding over my ankles and off my feet. I flipped over, my legs flailing, searching for the bottom until I found purchase on the riverbed.
"Move!" Valeria and Frankie's kayak was torpedoing toward me.
I hop-swam to the other side of the river, and Derrick continued the race. I made it to the shallow edge but knelt on a submerged rock since I was currently half-naked.
Valeria and Frankie were frantically paddling, Maria and Tina screaming for them to move faster, but the nose of our kayak hit the bank first. I bolted up and screamed in excitement.
"Daddy, her privates are out," Maria's youngest, Avery, said.
I screeched and plunged into the water.
"Sorry!" I screamed across the narrow river.
"We won!" Derrick was yelling at his sisters, who glowered at him as they reached the shore.
"It doesn't count!" Tina screamed, stepping out of the boat and marching to him. "Rachel's not in the kayak."
"There are no rules saying we both have to be in the boat." Derrick smiled back, triumphant.
A yelling match ensued, and I took my life vest off and wrapped it around my waist, wading to the other side and onto the bank.
"If anything it counts more!" Derrick yelled, holding his sister back with one hand. "We were down a teammate and still won."
"No, you didn't!" Tina swatted at Derrick's arm.
"Hey!" I hollered. "Can we continue this debate later? I've got a lot of side ass on display." I motioned to the arm holes of the life vest held around my waist. "Thanks to Derrick."
"I was trying to save you," Derrick defended.
"Can I have my bottoms back?"
Derrick grimaced. "I lost them."
"I hope the kids are up for an anatomy lesson." I pretended to lower the life vest.
I was joking OF COURSE, but Derrick's mom scurried and found a towel for me, scowling. I could safely say I was not her favorite person. She crossed herself every time I cursed. But I'd probably never see her again, and I was having an awesome time. The best time I'd had since I found out my bio mom was bio dead.
"It didn't count." Tina pouted, yanking her boat further onto the shore.
"What's the prize at the end anyway?" I asked.
"Respect," Derrick said.
"Seriously?" I snorted a laugh.
"And some cannoli," Derrick said, shoving his damp hair off his face.
I was momentarily distracted by the water dripping down his back and over the perfectly carved muscles of his naked chest and abs, the muscles culminating in a perfect V at his hips, pointing to his?—
"Huge cannoli. With lots of cream," Valeria said, disrupting my dirtbag thoughts. "Mom hates it."
" Adios mio ." She crossed herself. "Why so crude?"
"I want cannoli!" Aaron, one of the twins, yelled. Then the other twin joined in, and they began to chant.
"Cannoli! Cannoli!"
I walked to Derrick and playfully shoved him, his chest warm from the sun. "You pantsed me."
"It was worth it for the cannoli." His umber gaze penetrated mine, faux serious.
"Whatever you say, big boy. Let's go. I want to wash the river off before the parasites eat my skin." I shivered. "We can debate who gets the cannoli later."