Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Damien had walked all over the eighteenth floor looking for Mandy and couldn’t find her. He paused in front of the reception desk and clenched his fists. He wasn’t going back to his office until he found her.
He had gone to the baseball game on Saturday with Rob, thinking it was nice to hang with his old friend, something he hadn’t done in a long time. Halfway through Rob had confessed Mandy had given him the tickets. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.
Clearly Mandy was thinking about him, but she was ignoring him. He spent half his workdays trying to run her to ground in her cubicle and the other half trying to engage her in conversation with him via text or instant messaging.
Her responses were polite but brusque.
It was driving him insane. He had to see her. He had to talk to her. He had to fuck her.
He no longer cared if he wasn’t capable of having a relationship with Mandy. He had to take whatever she was willing to give, and if that was just sex, so be it.
Their little decision on the plane back from Punta Cana to leave it alone, at just good memories, had been either stupidly naive or just plain crazy.
“Can I help you, Mr. Sharpton?” The receptionist stared at him nervously from behind an enormous fake floral arrangement sitting on the desk.
He could barely see her around the damn thing. Shoving the meadow-in-a-vase over, he asked, “Have you seen Mandy Keeling?”
She dropped her pen, and her lip trembled. Damn, without meaning to he was glaring at her ogre like. He tried to smooth out his features as she shook her head.
“I haven’t seen her. But I could call...”
Damien cut her off with his hand in the air, because right at that moment he spotted Mandy coming out of the restroom. “Never mind.”
It had been twenty-two long and lousy days since he’d seen Mandy, except for that split second in his office doorway when she had scurried away from him.
Now as she walked toward him, he swallowed hard.
She looked incredible. Her hair was loose, falling past her chin in those waves he loved, and she was wearing a sundress.
The coral one she’d had on in Punta Cana.
He figured she was wearing the dress because it had no waist, but he could tell with one glance that her stomach had popped out even farther.
Her breasts were bigger, too, if that were possible.
Something happened inside of him. Everything shifted and cracked and splintered, and he took a deep breath.
“Mandy.”
She looked up at him, her hand still in the purse where she’d been digging for something.
Her mouth opened in surprise, and a smile flitted across her face. But then she glanced at the receptionist and tucked her hair behind her ear nervously. “Mr. Sharpton? Did you need me?”
That was a loaded question. “Yes. In my office. Now.”
He turned just in time to see the receptionist wincing. When she saw him looking at her, she dropped her gaze to the desk and grabbed a pad of paper. She coughed.
Rubbing the palm of his hand into the middle of his forehead, Damien sighed.
“Do I need anything from my desk?” Mandy started down the hall.
“No.” Even he could hear how harsh his voice sounded.
She glanced at him in surprise, but she didn’t look inclined to wince or cry or tremble.
When they got into the office, he closed the door, and she turned to look at him in question. “What did you need?”
He ignored the question. “You look good. Sexy. I have such great memories of pulling that dress down over your breasts.”
Her expression went from astonished to cautious. “What are you doing, Damien? I thought we weren’t going to continue in that... vein.”
“I tried, babe, I really did. But the last three weeks just haven’t been right. I miss you.”
And in case she didn’t get the message, he stepped up to her, completely invading all of her personal space, and pulled her into his arms.
“Damien...”
She dragged his name out so long, it practically took a minute to say it.
Brushing her hair off her cheek, he kissed her forehead. Her eyelid. Her temple, her jaw. “Why have you been avoiding me?”
“That’s what we agreed to do. That’s what we need to do.”
But even as she spoke, her arms were twining around his neck. “And you haven’t exactly been coming on to me. You’re more concerned about the baby than me.”
Breathing deeply, he tugged her closer. He’d been an idiot to think he could just give her up.
“That’s just not true. I’ve been going crazy wanting you, and I thought at least if we were friends, I could look out for you, still be in your life.
” All his thinking, all his logic of the past three weeks, seemed stupid and irrelevant now.
Damien tugged the neckline of her dress down an inch so he could see her impressive cleavage. Nuzzling there, he heard her sigh. “Tell me again why we can’t keep doing what we were doing in Punta Cana?”
“Because I’m having a baby and I need to get my life sorted out. I need to find a place to live, make sure my job is secure, find day care. I need to figure out how I’m going to pay for two-thousand-dollar pieces of baby furniture of if there are less expensive but equally safe alternatives.”
He kept kissing, moving from right to left, tasting her sweet flesh. “Anything else?”
“Ben showed up at my apartment wanting to get back together.”
That gave him pause. He hovered over her chest and asked carefully, “And did you say yes or no?”
“Of course I said no! After what he did, and after what you and I shared...and how could you think I would be letting you kiss me right now if I’d got back together with Ben?”
“Just making sure.” He resumed his movements, this time sliding his tongue under the rim of her bra. She tasted absolutely delicious. And he really liked the way she had phrased that...after what you and I shared.
He felt the same way. It had been something special. Was something special. Could continue to be that way.
“So Ben took a hike?”
“Well, not exactly.” When he stopped and lifted his head, she pushed him back down to her breast. “He wants to be in the baby’s life. It’s all very awkward right now. Which is why you and I can’t do this.”
“Any other reasons we can’t do this?” Damien peeled back one cup of the bra and flicked his tongue over her nipple.
Her words were breathless. “You’re not over losing Jess. You said yourself you can’t be in a relationship, and you certainly don’t want me with all my baggage.”
The things she said all made sense. None of the reasoning had changed. She was pregnant. He was an emotional mess.
But none of it mattered. It really didn’t.
He would figure out the future later. Right now he just knew he needed to have Mandy in his life.
When he pulled her nipple into his mouth and sucked, she gasped. “So, aren’t you going to stop?”
He shook his head and spoke over her flesh. “No.”
“Really, Damien, it’s the middle of the day. We’re in your office...”
She did have a point. He let go, brushing his lips back and forth on her shiny nipple one last time. “So have dinner with me tonight.”
“I have a fitting for my bridesmaid dress tonight. Caroline’s wedding is in three weeks.”
“Lunch tomorrow, then.”
“I have an appointment for my ultrasound on my lunch hour.”
Fixing her bra back over her breast, he asked, “Where?”
“At the Downtown Women’s Health Clinic—Broadway and Prince Street—at one o’clock.”
“Dinner tomorrow night, then? We’ll celebrate your healthy baby.”
“Is that all we’ll be doing?” She adjusted the front of her dress and looked at him in question.
“I’m really hoping you’ll agree to come back to my place so I can pleasure you all fucking night long. But if not, I’ll settle for dinner.”
His heart pounded and his cock throbbed as he waited for her answer. It meant a lot to him, more than he was willing to admit.
Something was happening to him, and he wasn’t quite sure what it was. The way he felt about Mandy was much stronger than…
“I’ll make sure I bring my toothbrush.”
Relief flooded through him. Relief that Mandy wanted to spend the night with him, and relief that he didn’t have to admit to himself that he cared for Mandy way beyond like.
He had sworn never to love anyone again.
He wouldn’t, couldn’t, do that now.
And if he was lying to himself, there was no one to know but him.
Her bladder was going to burst. Mandy shifted in the waiting room chair and tried not to imagine her muscles suddenly giving way and wetting her pants right here in full view of twenty people.
If they didn’t call her name soon she was going to do something drastic.
What, she didn’t know. Screaming seemed overdone.
Going to the loo in defiance seemed like a bad plan since they would just make her reschedule her ultrasound.
Which left her no options but to sit in silence and suffer, praying her bladder was resilient.
It would probably be a lot easier to handle if she had someone to complain to.
But she had turned down Jamie and Caroline’s offer to accompany her.
Even Allison had offered, though she’d looked a bit reluctant, which made it all the more sweet.
Mandy knew Allison didn’t like anything that smacked of nature, including biological functions.
Mandy hadn’t wanted to bother any of them, and also didn’t want the situation to be awkward, since Ben had insisted he wanted to attend. She could barely handle him on her own. She didn’t think she wanted to chitchat through the tension as her overprotective friends glared at Ben.
Only Ben was a no-show. He was thirty minutes late, and unless he’d got lost or stuck in traffic, there was no reason he shouldn’t be there.
Even if he was running late, he could call her or text her and tell her.
The temptation to ring him was great, but she resisted it.
She would not nag him or guilt him into participation in her pregnancy.
This had been his bloody idea to be involved. His idea to come to the ultrasound. And here she was sitting by herself.