Chapter Thirteen
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘Y OU DON’T NEED to hover over me all the time,’ Phoebe reassured Bethan for the thirtieth time in five minutes.
‘I don’t want to go on this date. I don’t even like him like that. I’m not ready for anything new.’
‘I know,’ Phoebe sympathised before turning pragmatic. ‘But you’ve not been on a date in centuries, so just consider it practice. A small step to getting over the Greek.’
Bethan fidgeted with her bracelet, repeatedly opening and closing the clasp. ‘Didn’t we agree getting involved with men was a bad idea?’
‘You don’t have to get involved with him. You’re just going out to remember what having a social life is actually like. And because you really want to get over the Greek.’
‘Okay.’ Bethan nodded, nerves still evident in her eyes. ‘You’re right. I need to move on, and nothing else has worked. This might.’
‘Worth a shot, yes?’
Bethan bent and hugged her. ‘I won’t be late.’
‘I’ll be here.’
Phoebe had only been back in London ten days and Bethan had already knitted a stunning merino baby blanket and was onto an array of tiny singlets. She and Elodie had both been accepting and excited about her pregnancy and were helping keep her chin up most of the time. But honestly Phoebe was looking forward to having tonight entirely alone. She planned to sink into the sofa, watch back-to-back tear-jerker movies, eat pizza and ugly-cry. But, only a few minutes after Bethan had left, someone thumped on the front door. Whoever it was didn’t stop.
‘Hold on!’ Phoebe limped into the hallway as quickly as she could and assumed it must be Bethan, because she’d not even ordered the pizza yet. ‘Did you forget your key?’
She opened the door and froze. It wasn’t Bethan filling the frame. Edo’s glittering gaze raked her from head to toe and stayed there.
She wasn’t wearing enough. Not nearly enough. And nor was he—because that black jacket did things to his eyes that ought to be illegal.
‘What are you doing here?’ she croaked.
‘What happened?’ He stared at her foot and a white ring appeared around his mouth.
‘Noth—’
‘What happened ?’ he repeated in a harsh whisper that hit more than a roar ever could.
Phoebe gasped. He really didn’t have the right to storm in there and demand to know things when he’d said he didn’t have emotional support to give. But his devastated expression destroyed any resistance she had.
‘The baby is fine,’ she muttered.
‘I don’t—’ He broke off sharply and bawled out another question. ‘Are you fine?’
‘Yes. I only twisted my ankle.’
‘The same one?’ His voice rose. ‘We should have got you proper treatment that day.’
‘It’s fine ,’ she said sharply. The last thing she wanted to hear was more guilt from him.
His expression flared. He took two steps forward and scooped her into his arms.
‘Edo!’
He hefted her closer, kicked the door shut and stomped through to her lounge.
‘Put me down,’ she ordered thinly. ‘Now.’
He did. Very carefully. She snatched the gaping halves of her robe together and pressed as far back into the sofa as she could while fighting to recover her breath. How was it possible for her heart to thunder so hard and her hope soar so high? It made her dizzy. But it was stupid. She was stupid. He’d set her ‘getting over Edo’ progress back in less than a second.
‘Why are you here?’ she demanded tremulously. ‘I don’t want you here.’
She couldn’t bear to be this near to him. Every intention she’d been trying to foster—to be measured and reasonable, to work towards some kind of compromise with him, fled. She could be nothing but emotional, and it was awful. ‘You need to leave. Now. ’
* * *
Edo obstinately took the chair beside the sofa and looked around her flat because he couldn’t bear to see the vulnerability and pain in her eyes. He needed a moment to breathe after having her in his arms again, because his brain wouldn’t work, and his body just ached with the fear that that might’ve been the last time he might hold her like that. It took everything in him not to pull her back into his arms. To throw all his words into the air and just kiss her—but that was their problem. They fell into physical abandon when they needed to communicate deeply. Words first. Then actions.
Calm before that.
So he looked around. Her home wasn’t what he’d have once expected. It wasn’t organised and neat and perfect. It was full of colour and comfort—a completely maximalist, cosy nest with cushions and photos and interesting objects everywhere. It was full of heart. Maybe it didn’t look much on the outside, but he should’ve known it would be this brilliantly warm on the inside. She’d not had a home she’d felt secure in as a child, so she’d made one for herself here, and he was a jerk for assuming it wouldn’t be good enough. For forcing her away from it.
What he’d provided wasn’t the same at all. Couldn’t even compare. His estate was horribly empty now without her. Polite and efficient, never flustered Phoebe craved this sort of stimulating and creative and warm kind of home. Kind of life —actually. Intense and varied and rich. Which was what she’d demanded from him, in bed at least.
‘Edo?’ Her prompt sounded less angry. More uncertain.
Because he was clearly losing it—he’d been sitting here silently for minutes, and she was probably starting to think he was deranged. He pulled the present from his pocket and set it on the low coffee table at right angles to them both. The wrapping was crumpled and it looked somewhat sad.
‘You haven’t opened it?’ she whispered. ‘You came all this way to give it back to me?’
She looked so hurt, his heart broke. She thought he’d behave that awfully? It was a sharp reminder that he needed to do better—to be fully honest with her.
‘I wanted to be with you when I opened it,’ he explained huskily, turning to watch her beautiful face. ‘I was ungrateful and rude when you gave it to me. I overreacted really badly to everything that morning.’
She pressed further back into the sofa, her mouth pinched as she bit the inside of her lip.
‘I overreacted to everything about you. I couldn’t handle my feelings and I pushed you away,’ he said. ‘But I can’t resist you any more.’
‘You don’t have to resist me,’ she answered stiffly, avoiding his gaze. ‘You just need to stay in Italy.’
‘But I don’t want to stay there without you. The last week has taught me that. I don’t want to stay anywhere without you.’
Her eyes filled with even more vulnerability and twisted his heart. She didn’t believe him.
‘Edo—’
‘Please let me say it,’ he hurriedly added. ‘I should have said it so much sooner, but I was scared, Phoebe.’
‘What does it matter?’ She swallowed. ‘When we’re just sex.’
He deserved her anger—her doubt.
‘We do have the most incredible chemistry,’ he said softly. ‘Neither of us can deny that.’
* * *
Phoebe didn’t want to hear any more. She didn’t want to hurt any more. ‘But it will die eventually, so you don’t need to apologise—’
‘I do. And it’s not all I need to do.’
She was frightened. Really frightened. Her heart was so fragile right now. With one word he could shatter her. All. Over. Again. So she closed her eyes. Tight. ‘Please leave.’
‘I can’t,’ he whispered. ‘Phoebe, I’m sorry I pushed you into a marriage you didn’t want, but I just had this primal feeling that I had to tether you to me. That I needed you near me. I thought I had to protect you and the baby, but it wasn’t really that. Phoebe…’ He groaned. ‘Look at me, amore . Please .’
She couldn’t resist him. Never had been able to. Never would be able to. She opened her eyes and her heart tore. He was on his knees in front of her, his beautiful face pale and every muscle in his jaw clenched, but his espresso eyes were filled with wary hope.
‘I thought if you fell in love with Italy you might stay,’ he muttered, watching her so closely. ‘I wanted you to want to stay.’
‘You never thought I might fall in love with you?’ she asked helplessly.
‘Deep down that’s exactly what I wanted. I tried everything to keep you close except tell you why. But I couldn’t be honest about why having you near mattered so much to me. Phoebe, you’re wonderful.’
He took her cold hands in his, rubbing his thumbs across her knuckles. ‘You’re warm and funny and beneath your calm exterior hides the most passionate woman I’ve ever met. But you scare the hell out of me. I cannot bear the thought of losing you, I cannot bear the thought of failing you.’
She squeezed his fingers, holding him tightly. ‘You won’t.’
‘I have already,’ he said sombrely. ‘I let you think I didn’t care. I shut you down and didn’t let you speak and I sent you away. I’m the one who fell that day on the road. I fell —instant and hard and then spent for ever trying to deny it. You’re everything I thought I couldn’t have and I was a coward. And I was cruel. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it before. I’m sorry I let you go. But I love you, Phoebe,’ he breathed. ‘Give me the chance to prove it.’
‘You don’t need to prove anything ,’ she argued fiercely. ‘I already know you, Edo. You were kind to George. Kind to me that day all those months ago. I know you’ve done so much for me since. You put that office together for me…you left me flowers—’
‘You knew about that?’ He snatched a breath.
She nodded. ‘And I began to hope you might care about me , but then…’
‘Then I let you down,’ he cupped her jaw. ‘I’ll make it up to you. I’ll spend my life—’
‘Just stay with me,’ she mumbled. ‘That’s all I need. You with me.’ She didn’t ever want to be alone—not abandoned, not sent away—but wanted .
‘Always. I’ll move here. I don’t care where I am as long as we’re together. I want everything with you, Phoebe. Everything you want.’ His voice broke and the last emerged as a desperate whisper. ‘And I really want our baby.’
Her eyes watered at the genuine desire in his words. He cared about her desires, her needs and their child. Happiness surged in an unstoppable rush and truthfully, she desperately missed the warmth and beauty and space of his Tuscan estate. ‘Thing is, I do really like olives these days. Can’t seem to get enough of them.’
He dragged in another jerky breath, but his gaze softened. ‘So it might be good to live near an endless supply?’
She smiled tremulously and, the second she did, he kissed her. It was the messiest, most emotional, sweetest kiss of her life.
‘Edo…’ Her breath shuddered as the reality of his return hit and she blurted her most terrifying secret. ‘I’m totally in love with you.’
He picked her up, holding her tightly as he bent his face to hers. ‘I was really hoping that.’
‘It scares me,’ she whispered, snuggling into his neck because she wasn’t close enough. Not yet. ‘What I feel is so huge—’
‘I know.’ He carried her through her flat. ‘Me too.’
Phoebe didn’t want him to put her down, not even onto her bed. She couldn’t bear to be more than an inch apart from him, almost cried when he stepped back to strip, even though he did it with world-record speed. She tried to move towards him but her moon boot made her attempt clunky.
‘It’s okay.’ He came back to her and frowned at the slight bruising at the top of the casing on her ankle. ‘You’re going to have to lie back and let me love you.’ He pushed her down with gentle, implacable force. ‘Let me take care of you, okay?’
She quivered. There was nothing she wanted more. She wanted him to love her—the way she loved him. And to her utter delight he did. He kissed her—everywhere—over and over. He gently caressed her until his hands tightened and his body tensed. He held her in his strong arms, reassured her, and in the end claimed her with all his power, all his passion. So there was no uncertainty, no doubt. He’d truly come back and he wasn’t letting her go. Ever .
‘Are you going to open your present?’ she asked eventually.
He’d propped his head on his hand and was tracing patterns over her skin, a soft smile curving his mouth as he gazed upon her with open adoration.
‘I thought I just did,’ he teased.
But he slid from the bed, returning to her room only a minute later, her gift in his hand. Phoebe sat up, fluttering nerves returning, and watched him tear the wrapping before setting the contents in his palm. The die-cast toy was vibrant red and she could only hope that it didn’t upset him.
He stared at it for a long time, then looked at her with a soft, sad smile. ‘You remembered what I told you about Dante and me.’
‘I thought you and the baby might play with it together,’ she whispered.
‘I would love to do that.’ His voice cracked, but with a teasing flourish he ran the little toy moped across her stomach. It tickled and she smiled at him, even as tears sprang again.
He swiftly leaned forward and kissed her. ‘Thank you for bringing love back into my life,’ he said huskily. ‘You’re vibrant, Phoebe. Don’t hold back on me. Stay passionate, be as extreme as you want—you’re everything to me.’
‘And you’re mine .’ Possessively, she wrapped her arms around him again as all her emotions unleashed.
‘Yes,’ he promised simply. ‘And I always will be.’