Eighteen
Austin
I slide into the backseat of the car, a faint tremble in my fingers betraying an anticipation I can’t quite place. It’s not just dinner. It’s Danica. We’ve been doing this for weeks now, yet she’s still like a puzzle I’m compelled to solve, each piece revealing something more captivating than the last. I check my watch and watch the traffic crawl. After a month, we’ve nearly finished the box of condoms, but I’m not ready for whatever we’re doing to end.
I look through my texts and see one from my mom requesting a call. I might as well distract myself. The streets are stuffed with people as we creep past the familiar sights of San Francisco, now just background noise to this inexplicable craving inside me.
It rings twice before she answers. “Hey, Mom,” I say.
“Hi, Austin!” Her voice always carries that warm lilt, like she’s perpetually on the verge of sharing good news. “Perfect timing. Just got back from dinner with the girls. You know that new Michelin-starred place in Georgetown everyone’s talking about? It was divine!”
“Sounds like you’re living better than I am these days.” I chuckle as Steve navigates through the traffic. The truth is, I’d rather keep the conversation light, avoid delving into the mess at EnergiFusion. Thankfully, there have been no new fires, but there’s still no word from Justin and no change in anyone’s ability to track him down. I’m having a harder and harder time convincing myself he’s somewhere safe. I’d also prefer not to discuss how much I’m beginning to depend on Danica’s presence to keep me sane.
“Someone has to have a social life in this family,” Mom teases, and I can almost see the playful glint in her eye. “You work too hard.”
“Guilty as charged,” I admit. “But tonight, I’m taking a page out of your book. Picking up dinner for two.”
Her silence is expectant. I’ve never been one to share much about my personal life with Mom. That can be dangerous. But Danica… She’s different. She makes me want to open up, to share the parts of myself I’ve kept hidden away.
“A friend is coming over,” I add casually, though the thrumming in my chest betrays my nonchalance.
“Is it a name worth remembering?”
I laugh. “We’re just friends,” I stress. “Her name is Danica.”
“Danica,” she muses. “She must be special.”
“Maybe,” I say, the word feeling like a half-truth. She’s more than special. She’s magnetic, and I’m caught in her pull.
“Be careful with her, Austin,” Mom advises.
“Always am,” I reply. With Danica, anything less seems impossible.
“What are you getting?”
“I’m picking up tacos.”
“Now, that sounds yummy. How are things going at work?”
“The same as the last time we spoke. Nothing new on the Justin front.” I don’t want to speculate or share my growing worries with her. “Listen, Steve is just pulling up to the restaurant. I’ll call you soon.”
“Love you,” she says, her voice softer now.
I feel a surge of affection and a touch of nostalgia for times when it was just the two of us against the world. “Love you too,” I tell her and end the call.
My thoughts drift back to Danica. I crave her laughter, her stories, her unexpected insights into a world I thought I knew. And as the skyline gives way to the Mission and Steve stops in front of Jose Taqueria, I realize it’s not just company I crave. It’s her. I’ve never been this excited to see someone.
I’m in and out of the restaurant in seconds, and then Steve drops me at my building. I quickly dump my bag and the food in my unit and cross the hall to Danica’s door where I rap lightly, the sound echoing down the quiet hallway.
“Hey, Austin,” Danica greets me, swinging the door open. Her hair catches the dim hallway light, framing her face like a halo.
“Just let me take care of Mischa real quick, and then I’ll be right over,” she says.
Despite spending countless hours searching for a job, Danica still hasn’t landed any interviews. However, Emerson Healy, who works in HR at SHN mentioned that they needed someone the other day, and I thought of Danica. That surprised even me. On one hand, I want to distance myself from her as we near the end of our box of condoms. But on the other hand, I can’t imagine letting her go, and I might have bought another box.
“Take your time,” I assure her, but patience isn’t a virtue I possess where she’s concerned. I could go in and start making margaritas. Maybe if I’m lucky, she’ll let me lick salt from her body.
“Thanks. Won’t be long,” she promises, flashing me a smile that sets off a flutter in my chest.
“See you in a bit,” I say as she closes the door behind her. I lean against the wall opposite her door, trying to look casual, but my foot taps out an impatient rhythm.
Finally, five minutes later, she reappears. I’m still just standing here. “I was starting to think Mischa might be holding you hostage,” I quip.
She laughs. “I didn’t mean you had to wait. Lead the way?”
Together, we walk down the hall to my door.
Her lips curl into a playful smile. “I’m all yours now. So what’s the plan?”
“Actually,” I say, stepping closer as we enter my place, the faint scent of her perfume making my head spin, “I’ve been thinking about eating dinner…off your body.”
Danica’s laughter fills the room, bright and unguarded. “Keep dreaming, Sands. With thoughts like that, we’ll burn through the rest of that box tonight.”
“Optimistic,” I chuckle as I guide her to the dining table where our meal awaits. “Tell me about your day. How’s the hunt for a new job?” I prompt as we settle into our seats across from one another.
She sighs, staring down at her hands before meeting my gaze. “There’s not a lot out there, and no one’s getting back to me. As tight as the labor market is, I’m starting to wonder if you need to know someone to get a good job. Unemployment insurance has kicked in, and I have enough money to pay my bills, but I still worry I won’t find anything.”
“Are you kidding? With all the startups and companies that move here, I bet you’ll be employed in no time,” I assure her. “And hey, you’re staying at Anna’s, right? Not much rent to cover?”
“Exactly.” She nod. “I don’t pay her mortgage, but I cover all the costs and HOA fees.”
“I know someone who’s looking if you’ll send me your resume,” I offer. “Maybe she can help.”
“I’m not sure my resume is my strongest asset,” she says with a laugh. “And I wanted to do this on my own…” But then she nods. “I’ll send it.” The gratitude in her eyes hits me square in the chest. “That would be amazing. Thank you.”
“Of course.” I reach across the table to squeeze her hand. “And let’s make sure this day ends better than it started for you.”
We dig into the tacos and are soon debating whether the chicken, shrimp, or shredded beef is best. I take a sip of margarita, the tangy flavor doing nothing to quell the swarm of nerves in my gut over my plans tonight.
“Your turn,” Danica says. “How was your day?”
Danica has never pried for details about my job or where I spend my time. Her independence and reluctance to accept any financial help from me has been a breath of fresh air. I doubt she’s even searched for me online. That’s one of the reasons I’m so drawn to her. I can trust her completely, and that is a rare find these days.
“Ah, yeah.” I set down my glass. “It’s been nuts at the office. I didn’t want to burden you with this, but our CEO, he’s…” I hesitate, mulling over how much to share before continuing with a shrug. “He’s gone missing.”
Her fork pauses midway to her mouth, blue eyes widening. “Missing? As in—”
“Disappeared. Vanished into thin air,” I clarify, my fingers drumming an anxious rhythm on the table. “And there’s money missing too. It’s a mess.”
“Did he take the money and run, or did something happen to him?” she asks.
“We don’t know what to think.” I run a hand through my hair, the action fruitless against the disarrayed thoughts in my head. “There are so many possibilities. But he’s been gone six weeks now.”
“Is your company going to close?”
“Close?” I chuckle, though it comes out forced. “Nah, we’re solid. Things are tense because we don’t know where he is, but financially, the money was from our reserves, so it’s not an emergency. We just need to make sure it doesn’t keep happening.”
“I’m glad your job is safe,” Danica says, focusing on me with an intensity that makes my heart skip a beat.
“It’s as if we’ve lost our rudder, though. We’re dealing with all these issues, and it’s like a clown car, just running around and entertaining everyone.”
Danica smiles and nods.
It’s such a relief to spill my concerns. And I’m not worried she’s going to shop them to the gossip pages. When I get everything off my chest, I throw my hands up and shake my head. “Thank you for listening,” I tell her.
Danica cocks her head to the side. “What do you do when you’re not working?”
“Other than have sex with you?” I tease.
She blushes. “That is a stress reliever, but yes, other than the time we spend together.”
“Outside work?” I repeat dumbly as if the concept is foreign. The truth is, my life orbits around the gravitational pull of my company. It’s been that way since we graduated, over ten years ago. “Well, I…hang out with my friends, I guess.”
“Sounds riveting,” she deadpans with a smirk. “And what do you guys do together?”
“Talk about work, mostly. Maybe over a beer.” I’m suddenly self-conscious under her gaze. “Not very exciting, huh?”
“Everyone needs something outside the nine-to-five grind,” she says, reaching across the table, her touch grounding me. “Something just for themselves. But you work out.”
“I do work out with a trainer. What do you do?”
She shrugs. “I love to craft. I’ve been touring the City, and I think I’ll move to the Avenues when Anna returns.”
“Why the Avenues? They’re covered in fog most of the year.”
“I like that they’re more of a neighborhood. The Marina is too busy, and who am I kidding? I can’t afford it anyway. But honestly, if I don’t land a job, I’ll be looking for a place to live in Seattle.”
“When did you say Anna was due back?”
“Not until the end of December, so hopefully I’ll find something long before then.”
A wave of relief covers me. She’s not leaving yet. I should be able to get her out of my system in six months. Right?
“Maybe we can tour together,” I suggest on a whim. “Something beyond the boardroom and the barstool with more than the bedroom.”
“Challenge accepted,” Danica replies, her grin infectious.
For the first time in a long while, I’m eager to step outside the lines I’ve drawn around myself. “So what shall we do?” I ask. “I guess I’m not much of an outdoorsman. Not really into camping or hiking, but…” I pause, searching for a piece of myself that isn’t tied to my job. “I enjoy exploring, finding new places and hidden gems in the City.”
“Exploring, huh?” She tilts her head, a playful glint in her eye. “That’s a start.” She thinks for a moment. “I’m going to plan a long-weekend getaway. Does that freak you out?”
“Why would it freak me out?” Of course it makes me worried. I don’t want to lead her on. And we’ve established that we’ll end this when we’re out of condoms. Maybe she doesn’t need to know it may take two boxes. Maybe.
“Nothing too expensive, I promise,” she adds quickly.
“You don’t have to worry about costs,” I tell her, unable to suppress a smile. It’s touching, really, how she considers every angle, even when her world must feel like it’s spinning off its axis. “I can make whatever you decide work.”
She gives me a lopsided smile, the kind that tells me she knows she’s being overly cautious but can’t help it. “And I’ll pay my own way,” she says. “It’s not about the money. It’s about the adventure. And I think we could both use one.”
Adventure isn’t a word I’ve associated with myself in…well, longer than I care to admit. But there’s something about the way Danica says it, the spark in her eyes, that hooks me. I nod. “Okay, surprise me.”
“Prepare to be surprised,” she says with a chuckle. “Just don’t freak out when I tell you to pack an overnight bag without giving you the destination. I’ll try to give you a little advance notice so you can take off work, though.”
“Me, freak out?” I feign indignation. “Never.” But truthfully, I’m already feeling a twinge of anxiety. Whatever Danica plans is bound to push me out of my comfort zone, and I hope I can make it work with everything going on, much of which she still doesn’t know. Hell, my regular life is pushing me out of my comfort zone these days. So maybe this adventure will be okay.