23. Olivia
23
OLIVIA
I whistled to myself as I flipped through picture books, waiting for Molly to finish her shift here at the bookstore so we could work on our book, as we’d planned. She was actually running a little behind schedule, keeping me waiting, but I didn’t mind. An entire display of books could have fallen over on me and I probably wouldn’t have minded. Three nights of Declan was enough to put any woman in a bulletproof good mood.
Three nights was also enough to make me admit I was very much at risk of falling for him. I kept trying to keep things light, keep my heart safe. But the truth was, I was weak around him, and he always managed to get under my guard, even in the moments when I least expected it. I’d spend a couple of productive minutes thinking of something that didn’t involve him at all, and then he’d steal a kiss when Catie was in the other room, or text me something private when we were surrounded by other people, and my head would fly back up into the clouds again…or, occasionally, to the bedroom. His texts ranged from filthy to sweet, and sometimes both. By the time Catie was down for the night, it was too easy to lie to myself.
One more night won’t hurt.
You can keep this casual.
It won’t break your heart when you have to leave.
When Molly asked me to hang out after work so that we could discuss some changes her publishing friend wanted us to make to our book proposal before sharing it with her boss, it had been almost a relief to say yes. I couldn’t think clearly with Declan around. He made my giddy, like some teenager with a crush. I needed to spend time with Molly, getting my head on straight and my hormones back to a normal level.
“Olivia! I hoped I’d find you here,” a man’s voice said behind me.
I turned to find Seamus O’Rourke smiling at me, a little nervously.
“Oh?” I had no earthly idea why he’d be looking for me.
He took a step forward. “It’s Declan. I need to talk to him about something important. But every time I try to set up a meeting, he ignores my calls and emails. I was hoping you could put in a good word? Since you got him to come to the summer festival party last weekend?” He smiled hopefully. “ No one has ever gotten him to do that, so it’s obvious he really listens to you.”
I held up a hand. “I’m going to stop you right there. I appreciate that the dynamic between you and Declan is…complicated, and that it’s not really because of anything you did, personally. But I’m not going to be your go-between. Declan makes his own decisions.”
I moved to step around him, ready for this conversation to end.
Seamus blocked me. “It’s about Catie,” he blurted.
I frowned, confused. “What?—”
“I’m her biological father,” he said on a rush, keeping his voice low so no one overheard. “I had no idea, until I saw her in the bookshop, and she looked so much like my sister. I’ve been trying to reach Sinead, but she’s not answering her phone, and she hasn’t posted anything on social media.”
Probably because she’s in rehab , I thought.
“So I tracked down Sinead’s best friend from school. She confirmed I’m the dad,” Seamus finished.
I felt a stress headache coming on. I didn’t want to know this. I didn’t want to get sucked into Declan’s feud with the O’Rourkes.
“I know what you’re thinking. What kind of selfish git doesn’t know he has a child?” Seamus scrubbed the back of his neck, uncertain. “Seven years ago, Sinead and I were on and off. We were off when I found out she was pregnant, and since she didn’t say anything to me about it, I figured she’d found some other bloke.”
“Seamus,” I said. “You need to talk to Sinead and Declan about this. Not me.”
“So help me talk to them,” Seamus begged. “I just want to get to know Catie while she’s here. I understand if Sinead doesn’t want to tell Catie yet about who I really am. I’ll follow any rules she lays down. But if I could just come over, you could say I was a family friend. That would work, right?”
I hesitated. This wasn’t a decision I could make for Sinead—or Declan, while he was Catie’s guardian. But Catie might wish she knew her father one day. And as far as I could tell, Seamus truly meant well, and he seemed so excited to learn that he had a daughter. Surely that was a good sign.
“I’ll talk to Declan,” I said at last. “But I can’t promise anything.”
Seamus smiled in eager relief. With a sinking heart, I noticed where Catie had gotten her dimples.
T hat night I was in my bedroom getting ready for bed when Declan strolled in wearing nothing but low-slung gray sweatpants. “It occurs to me,” he said, “I have a pool in the basement. And you’d look great swimming naked.”
I smiled and squirted lotion into my palm. I’d skipped my bedtime rituals the last few nights, and I didn’t want my skin to start getting dry and itchy. “Is everyone in your family an insomniac, or is it just you?”
“Just when I’m trying to work out a problem.” He poked at the jewelry and makeup items I’d left scattered on the top of the dresser, picking things up and absently sorting them into rows and categories that probably only made sense in his head.
“What problem are you trying to solve?” I asked.
Declan shrugged off my question and flopped on my bed, the picture of easy, masculine grace. He looked like he belonged on a billboard, advertising something expensive and irresistible. “Come swimming with me.”
I could feel my blood heating on cue.
I sighed. “I really do need to get some sleep.”
Declan opened my lotion and sniffed it. His smile softened. “This smells like you.”
“Well, arguably I smell like it,” I pointed out, but he was already taking over for me. He draped my leg over his lap and started massaging lotion into my calf muscle.
I moaned. Catie had me on the run most days, and it wasn’t like I really had time to stop and stretch in between chasing her around. “That feels good.”
“I could get used to this. Helping you rub your lotion in hard-to-reach places every night.”
“ Declan ,” I scolded, laughing.
“I was talking about your back,” he said, faux innocently. “How’d your thing with Molly go?”
“Good,” I said. Seamus’s request flashed through my mind. “I ran into Seamus O’Rourke.”
Declan’s hands tightened on my calf. “Did he upset you?”
“No. He doesn’t seem as bad as his dad,” I said. “He mentioned he was trying to get in contact with you about something important.”
Declan’s eyes flashed. “Seamus is a spoiled rich kid who thinks his charm absolves him from the harm his father inflicts on everyone else. He and I have nothing to discuss. He might consider the situation important, but I highly doubt I’d agree.” He scowled. “Why was he talking to you?”
“I, um, guess he noticed that you went to the festival?” I tried to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal. “And heard it was because I asked you to?”
“Jesus Christ.” Declan’s face shuttered. He shoved himself away from me, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, his back to me.
I felt panic swirl in my chest. I didn’t want him pulling away from me. I didn’t want him to regret our night at the festival, or anything it led to.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry, I won’t talk to him again.”
“I’m not mad at you,” Declan said. “I’m mad at him . Him and his whole fucking family.”
What if part of his family is your family, too ? I thought. But he wasn’t ready to hear that. Not yet.
I opened my lotion to him and held it out to me, so that the soothing lavender scent wafted between us. “Help me with my back?”
He looked over his shoulder, skeptical. “You actually lotion your back?”
“No,” I admitted. “I just like you touching me.”
Something in his expression shifted. “I like that too,” Declan said, his voice gruff. He accepted the lotion.
I pulled off my shirt and lay stomach down on my bed, letting Declan distract himself with my body. As the pleasure from his touch swamped me, I told myself it would be better for everyone if Declan could find a way to make peace with Seamus. Catie deserved to have her uncle and father on speaking terms.
I just had to figure out a way to make Declan see that.