27. Felicity
27
FELICITY
“ T his is fine,” I said, thinking about the meme of the dog in a hat sitting inside a burning building.
I was in my new glass-walled office in Brooklyn, which looked out on the common area that featured multiple creatively designed work nooks, a bean bag pit, and a foosball table.
The little incident in the park and my subsequent follow-up video had turned me into something of a marketing rock star. I’d wound up with too many work options and found a new job within days of beginning my search. But the problem was I got overwhelmed and picked the one that seemed the most different from Veritique—an upstart sneaker company named Ideal.
The initial days had been fun and frenetic, but I assumed it was just the nature of being a young company. Sure, the CEO had forgotten we had a meeting scheduled on my first day, and the HR guy had lost my paperwork, but whatever. They were figuring stuff out. The problem was that the lack of attention to detail was a constant for them. No matter how hard I pushed for the absolute basics of running a marketing division, like formulating our SEO strategy and creating posting milestones, they resisted. They claimed rules restricted creativity, so I was left pivoting and trying new concepts every week.
The good parts of my new job? The office was basically an arcade, my fellow employees looked and acted like baristas who’d just graduated, which meant I could live in my comfy pants, and I was given unlimited free sneakers.
But I hated it.
The messiness made me miss Veritique’s structure. We had a plan, even if the last one blew up in our faces. But still, everything flowed. We worked well together.
Okay, not all of us.
Although Cameron was trying to make up for the disaster in the park.
He’d started off with an email campaign to me, but he probably assumed email was too easy to ignore, so he’d moved on to calling me once a day and leaving messages. When I ignored those, he’d switched to texting.
I didn’t want to talk to him, and he knew it, which is why he leveled up his game.
I glanced at the coffee sitting on my desk. Each morning, I woke to find a cup of Dutch chocolate mocha waiting for me outside my door. No note, but the only person aside from Nina who knew I drank them was Cameron. I’d mentioned it to him once, the first time we’d met about the CamLicity campaign, and he’d obviously never forgotten.
And other little gifts kept showing up. A Levain cookie delivery with so many boxes Nina and I had to freeze the extras. A Veritique bracelet with the Infinity symbol, to match my necklace. A small crystal bottle of bespoke perfume named Felicitous that smelled like wildflowers and sunshine.
And today, I’d posted on my private Instagram account about being excited for the flowers of spring, and a stunning wisteria topiary had shown up at my office. The exact flowers that ringed the window during our first date.
He didn’t include cards with the gifts, but he didn’t have to. Each one was a way of him letting me know he’d paid attention to everything, down to my preferred coffee drink.
The gestures were thoughtful, but I didn’t let the gifts move me. Sure, they were creative and probably expensive, but it was easy to throw money at heartbreak and expect it to mend the fracture. I was still too raw, and honestly, I wasn’t sure Cameron was capable of giving me what I needed. Buying presents was easy. Being a real partner took work, and he’d shown me he wasn’t capable.
My phone rang, and I saw that it was Nina.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I answered.
“Um…can you get away for lunch, like, right now?”
I checked the time. “I guess. Are you okay? You sound like something’s wrong.”
“I can’t get into it now. But yeah, I’m good. Just meet me at Opa Grille.”
It was an odd choice for lunch—much closer to home than to where either of us worked—but I was used to following her whims.
I glanced around the office and saw half of my colleagues deep in a foosball tournament. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be there.”
I could tell something big was going on the minute I saw her pacing around on the sidewalk outside the restaurant.
“Hey,” I wrapped her in a quick hug. “You okay? You look pale.”
“I need to show you something.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me down the block, coming to a stop outside a vacant building.
It was a beautiful space with two giant windows beneath a green-striped awning.
“Pretty,” I said. I peered in and could see that the space stretched deep, with a shiny, worn-looking wood floor that signified it had been well-loved. “Should we add it to our list of possibilities?” I pulled out my phone. “I’ll look up the details. What’s the address?”
“801 East Callaghan,” she answered, reaching into her pocket. “But it might be easier if we just go in.”
“Huh?”
She walked past me jingling a key, slid it into the knob, and walked inside.
“Nina, what’s going on?” I asked, following her into the space. “How did you get a key? Did you schedule a viewing? Shouldn’t we be with a realtor?”
I shut my mouth the minute I crossed the threshold because it was even prettier inside, with clean white walls and a bright vibe that was exactly what we were looking for. I felt like I’d walked into Treehouse Books.
“I don’t know who you talked to in order to get that key, but now that I see the size, I know we can’t afford this place. I don’t even want to look around; it’ll only break my heart when I find out how much it’s going for.”
“No, take a peek with me,” she said. “This way.”
“Neen, no,” I groaned. “This is going to make me sad, and I don’t need more sadness in my life right now.”
She spun around and gestured upward. “Look how high the ceiling is. Can you imagine how tall the shelves can be? We can get one of those Beauty and the Beast ladders!”
“Stop,” I pleaded.
“Over here,” she ignored me and walked backward, pointing to a small side room, “can be our children’s book section. Plenty of space for it, then we can transition it to young adult right here.” She pointed to a long wall nearby. “And look how much room we’ll have for author events! Maybe we can even do other stuff too? Poetry jams or open mic nights? There’s tons of space to get creative!”
“Nina, enough ,” I commanded. “I don’t know why you’re going on and on, but we can’t afford it. This is a fantasy space—not reality. Maybe we can find something similar that’s actually within our budget?”
She walked closer to me wearing a little smile. “We don’t need to find anything similar because it’s ours.”
She took my hand and dropped the key in my palm.
I shook my head as if it might settle the thoughts racing around in my brain.
“What are you talking about?”
“C’mere,” she hooked her hand over her shoulder and walked to the front room, taking a seat on the wide windowsill. “We need to talk.”
“I’m so confused…” I answered, following behind her.
She took a breath and looked at me wearing a mischievous expression. “Cameron reached out to me.”
“No,” I whispered. “When? And why didn’t you tell me? I can’t believe you’d keep that sort of secret. Whose side are you on? You should’ve hung up on him!”
She pointed at me. “ This is why I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d freak out!”
I tossed the key on the windowsill and fumed silently.
“I don’t want to feel like I owe him anything,” I finally said. “I want nothing to do with him, you know that.”
“But why? He keeps reaching out, and he’s been sending you all those thoughtful gifts. It’s obvious he still cares about you.”
“He never apologized !” I said, a little too shrilly.
Nina frowned at me. “He didn’t? Well, that’s surprising. Whenever we talk, he mentions that he’s really upset about how things went down. And that he misses you.”
I closed my eyes and leaned back. “Just tell me what’s going on with this place. I want to know every detail, so I can figure out how to back out of it.”
“He called me about a week ago to say thanks for helping Tyler with his rehab journey, and we got to talking. I didn’t bring you up on purpose; I waited until he did.”
“Okay, whatever,” I shrugged. “It was guilt, I’m sure.”
“He asked about our plans for Treehouse. What sort of neighborhood we were hoping for, the size, the vibe. He offered to help with our search because he obviously has tons of connections, but I told him I needed to talk to you. Well, an hour later he sends me the listing for this place, before I had a chance to call you. Obviously, I told him I loved it, but that it was out of our budget.”
I gestured around angrily. “Duh. It’s perfect.”
Nina leaned closer and took my hand. “Lis, he asked me if I thought this location would make you happy. I said yes, and he barely took a breath and said, ‘Then it’s yours. I’m picking up the first two years of your lease.’”
My mouth dropped open. “What?”
Nina nodded, grinning like she knew she was winning. “We met with the property manager, did a walk-through, and here we are.”
“Wait, you saw Cameron?”
She shook her head vigorously. “No, he sent his assistant Daniel. I think he was worried you might come with me.”
I stood up slowly and walked around the empty space, trying to ignore the fact that I really, really loved it. It was everything we’d dreamed of, and more. But it came with strings that led back to Cameron, and that made it impossible.
“He’s not going to be involved,” Nina said, like she could read my mind. “He swore he’ll never set foot in here unless you invite him. Consider him a vampire.”
I whirled around, unable to hold back any longer. “I’m really mad at you.”
I was so furious at Nina for the betrayal that I felt like I was going to cry.
“Okay, I get it. Understood,” she put her hands in front of her in a gesture of surrender. “Then let’s talk about it. We can figure it out.”
“You went behind my back!” My shrill voice echoed off the walls in the empty space.
“You never would’ve agreed to even think about it,” she answered quickly.
“You let him pay for our rent like he’s a sugar daddy or something.”
“Now hold on a minute. I had no idea he was going to do it. I never would’ve asked him for something so generous. It happened really fast, and I got swept up in it! You have to know that’s how he operates. Cameron O’Connor can snap his fingers and make anything happen.”
Yeah, well he couldn’t make me happen.
I stomped around the room, at war with myself. On one side, I hated Cameron for butting into my life, but on the other, I couldn’t stop imagining how our dream could take shape in this space. A long cash wrap counter on the wall beside the front window. A beautiful mural of a treehouse and all the fictional characters we loved clustered near it. Bookmarks and reading lights and other little book-related gifts in baskets near the arched doorway. Mismatched rugs along the floor. A water bowl for visiting dogs. Comfy chairs. The perfect playlist. A packed calendar of events with every type of author stopping by to hang out with our readers.
“I don’t know what to say,” I finally managed.
The anger was drained out of me. I was exhausted from feeling too many feelings. I’d been doing okay, pushing down the happy memories I’d shared with Cameron and focusing on the way he’d made me feel at the park.
“Say yes,” Nina said. “I’m sorry I went behind your back, but I did it because I love you and I want this dream to come true for you—for both of us. So say yes to making our dream a reality. This is what we’ve been working toward. And it’s right there, just waiting for us to make the call.”
I stared down at my new Orange Creamsicle sneakers. My life felt like a series of knots I couldn’t untangle. I wanted to jump into Treehouse with both feet, but I couldn’t get comfortable with the fact that our dream would forever be linked to Cameron. It wasn’t fair that he could step in with his bags of money and expect that it would make everything okay.
Saying yes to the bookstore would also be saying yes to Cameron, and he didn’t deserve any sort of acceptance from me. He’d humiliated me, and worse, just minutes later he’d kicked me when I was at my lowest.
Nina could run Treehouse without me. We’d drawn up a strong business plan, and she had tons of book industry background thanks to her job. With Cameron’s help, she wouldn’t have to worry about rent, so she could focus on the joy of the work. It was completely feasible for her to do it on her own. Maybe that would be the best option. The one that would keep me from falling apart.
But I didn’t feel comfortable having that conversation with her yet.
“I need some time to think,” I said. I leaned against the wall and stared down at Nina, watching her emotions flash across her face. We knew each other so well I could tell exactly how she was feeling without her even saying a word.
Disappointed, and trying to hide it.
Nina cleared her throat. “Okay, I had a feeling you would. Take as long as you need. But just…just promise me you’ll think about the good things that could come from this, and not only the bad, okay? Not every story has an unhappy ending.”
“I know. Just give me a day or so,” I answered. I pulled out my phone to check the time. “I need to head back to the office.”
A harmless lie. She didn’t realize no one at Ideal gave a shit about where I was.
“No matter what you decide, I’m with you, okay? We’ll get through this together,” Nina promised me. I managed to muster up a smile.
“Yeah, I know. Love you.”
“Love you, too. See you after work. Maybe we can go do something fun—clear our heads. Forget about Cameron and just think about what makes us happy.”
I nodded with my hand on the doorknob. The back of my nose prickled.
I didn’t say that no matter how hard I tried, there still was no way for me to separate my dreams from Cameron O’Connor.