Chapter 25
Caleb
What am I doing? What if her roommate is home? What if she doesn’t want me to bother her?
But despite my head swimming with all these worries, I knock on the door of Maddy’s apartment. I’m super nervous, listening for the sound of movement inside.
When the door opens, Maddy is standing there in a pink hoodie and a pair of knit pajama shorts. She looks like she just woke up, but the way her eyes flick to my hands and back to my eyes makes it clear she's very awake now.
“You’re here,” she states, looking confused.
“Yeah…” I rub my hands together, suddenly feeling stupid. “I just wanted to talk to you about what happened.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “You could’ve just called.”
“I could’ve,” I agreed. “But I thought this might mean more—and also, I just moved in upstairs this morning.”
“Great,” she groans, her shoulders slumping. “Now you all live here.”
I chuckle at the look on her face. “It doesn’t have to be a bad thing, you know. We like you, Maddy. Clearly.”
Her face softens as she lets out a light laugh. “You want to come in?” She steps aside, one foot kicking an errant sneaker out of my path.
I follow her through the new apartment, thinking about the horrible place she lived in when I brought her medicine and food. “This place is a little different from your previous one, huh?”
“Yeah,” she laughs, eyeing me over her shoulder. “It’s pretty awesome when you have more than four hundred square feet to exist in.”
“That’s fair,” I chuckle, leaning against the kitchen island. “Is your roommate here?”
Maddy hovers by the fridge and shakes her head. “She got in late last night, and then she had to leave early this morning for some sort of art show.”
“Ah, okay,” I eye her, trying to reconcile this Maddy with the panicked woman who fled like her life was in danger yesterday. “So…” I drum my fingers on the counter. “How’s life?”
She laughs. “It’s a disaster.” She pops open the fridge, pulls out a pitcher of water, and sets it on the counter. “But I think I’m slowly recovering.”
“That’s good news,” I say cheerfully. I don’t really know how to handle something like this, but I’m desperate to know she’s really okay—beyond just the surface level of surviving. “Did Beck talk to you?”
Maddy chews on her bottom lip and fills the glasses. “Well,” she slides one my way, “He made it clear that I wasn’t going to be fired, among other things…” Her voice trails off as her eyes flick to the windows.
I rock back on my heels, already imagining what ‘other things’ means. The thought has me both aroused and intimidated. I take a sip of the water as a distraction, feeling strangely awkward in the moment.
“Um, anyway…” She sighs, turning her gaze back to me and hopping up on the edge of the counter. “Do you want to talk in here? Or…?”
“Bedroom,” I say, immediately regretting how it sounds. “Sorry, I don’t mean that I want to… It’s just if we’re having a conversation that might get personal, I’d rather do it where it’s private in case your roommate returns in the middle of it.”
She grins, raising her brows. “You might be the only guy who’s ever told me he just wants to talk in my bedroom.”
I chuckle uncomfortably as I follow her to the bedroom.
The room inside is dim, lit only by a salt lamp on the nightstand and a strand of Christmas lights wound around the headboard.
The bed itself is a mess of blankets, each with a different pattern and texture.
That part still screams of the Maddy I witnessed at her other apartment.
Maddy plops onto the bed, cross-legged. She tugs the blanket over her lap, tucking herself in. I sit beside her, not quite touching her, even though I have a strong urge to.
“So…” She picks at a loose thread. “I guess what happened Friday was a bit of a catalyst to disaster.”
“That’s one way to put it,” I admit, letting out a sigh.
I run my fingers through my hair. “But you have to know, Maddy,” I meet her gaze.
“I don’t regret it at all. I like you, even if you like Adrian and Beck, too.
I don’t know how to turn that part of me off, but I also don’t know how to deal with the idea of multiple partners.
She nods, biting her lip. “I see…”
“It was really overwhelming,” I say, and then stop myself. “But I’m sure it was for you, too. And that’s why I’m here. To check on you, Maddy.”
She leans her head to one side, her hair falling forward and spilling over her shoulder. “Why are you so sweet?”
“I care about you, and this is what you do for people you care about.”
She’s quiet for a second. “Thank you, but you know…” She picks at the blanket again and sighs. “You really should be thinking about yourself and what you want, too. Not just worrying about me.”
I fight the need to get defensive. “I don’t really know how to do that.
I’m not worried about me. It’s important to me that you are happy.
I don’t really know how to gauge that for myself.
” My jaw sets, and I can’t look at her anymore.
I stare at the salt lamp instead, its orange glow turning everything around it to molten gold.
“Caleb,” Maddy shifts closer. “Do you think you don’t deserve happiness, or are you just not used to it?”
I close my eyes as her hand lands on my thigh and she gives it a squeeze. “Maybe both.”
“I’m sorry that you’ve never had that, and I know that this is all a mess, but you don’t have to carry everything yourself. I care that you’re happy, too. It’s not just about me.”
I shake my head, meeting her gaze. “But I can’t turn it off. It’s like… the only way I know how to be useful.”
“You don’t have to be useful,” she says softly. “Sometimes you have to let people help you. Because I’m pretty sure that’s what you told me, remember?” She gives me a look that makes me desperate to kiss her.
I’m not sure how to respond, so I let out an awkward breath. “I’m sorry if I’ve made this weird. I came here with the intention of talking about how things are going for you with everything, not me.”
She reaches for me, interlacing her fingers with mine. “I think we should start by being honest.”
The words send a jolt of panic through me, but I suppress it. “Okay. Let’s be honest, and since you brought it up, you can go first.”
She eyes me, her fingers warm against mine. “Um, well… I think it’s only fair to tell you that I slept with Beck last night.” She pauses for a beat. “And Adrian.”
I swallow the jealousy and try to sound unbothered. “They were here last night?”
Maddy shakes her head. “No, I ran into Beck at the rooftop pool, and then Adrian just so happened to show up.”
“And you all had sex? At the same time?” I don’t know why this startles me, but the thought of Adrian choosing to engage is mind-blowing.
“It started with just Beck and me, then it turned into all three.” Her cheeks flush a deep shade of red, and I squeeze her hands, hating the fact that she appears embarrassed by her own desires.
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” I say, wanting her to know that she has nothing to be ashamed about.
But I feel left out, and I want to tell her.
I just don’t know how.
“Are you mad?” Maddy bites down on her lower lip, looking like she might cry. “You’re the sweetest man, and I don’t want to hurt you, Caleb.”
“I want you to be happy,” I reiterate. “And if they make you happy—”
She cuts me off. “But I want you, too.”
“Maddy…” My voice comes out quiet. “You don’t have to.”
She cups my face in her hands, her thumbs brushing my jaw. “Let me show you how bad I want you, Caleb. Let me make you happy.”
Her lips are soft on mine, tentative at first, then more confident as I kiss back. She holds my face steady, kissing me deeper, her tongue teasing at my lower lip. I groan into her, my cock stiff as her fingertips slip from my hands and go for the belt on my jeans.
“I want to make you feel good,” Maddy whispers in my ear, her lips trailing down the stubble on my jaw to my neck.
“Maddy…” My hands hover at her waist, unsure of what to even do. I don’t know how to let someone just focus on me. And how to let go.
“Caleb…” She moves then, straddling my lap, the blanket pooling around our bodies. Her hands move down my body, tracing the lines of my shoulders, my chest, and my hips. She pulls my T-shirt over my head, running her fingers across my skin. I shiver from the sensation.
I reach for the hem of her sweatshirt, but she pushes my hands away.
“Just enjoy it,” Maddy murmurs, pulling it off herself. Her hoodie drops to the floor, and I take in the thin tank top she has on, her nipples pressing through the material. I want to touch her so fucking bad, but I wait, letting her set the pace.
She strips it off, her tits bouncing. My cock throbs at the sight of her pink nipples, beckoning for my mouth to be on them.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I mumble, as she finally tugs my zipper down and sets my cock free. She watches me as I drag my pants off my body and kick off my shoes in the process.
Her eyes stay focused on my cock as she slides her shorts down, revealing that there are no panties beneath.
Damn, she’s something else.
And then she kneels. She pushes my legs apart, just enough for her to fit in between.
“What are you doing?” I rasp, as she grabs the base of my cock, and tips it toward her. She brings it to her lips and plants a kiss on the head, smearing precum all over them.
“Fuck,” I instinctively press my hips upward.
She smiles, batting her lashes at me, and then runs her tongue along my shaft. One hand digs her nails into the top of my thigh, and the other begins to stroke up and down.
A guttural groan slips from somewhere in my chest, and I can barely hold it together as she slips my cock inside her mouth, sucking and stroking. I reach out and thread my fingers through her hair as she works back and forth.
I edge toward my release, feeling absolutely fucking crazy for not getting her off first. Everything about this seems wrong. She shouldn’t have to be on her knees for me.
“Maddy,” I stop her, my voice breathless. “You don’t have to do this. We can switch positions.”
“You’re allowed to want this,” she holds my gaze. “You’re allowed to have something for yourself, and I want to do this for you. Let me get you there.” Her eyes are so fucking intoxicating, and I can’t tell her no.
She positions herself again, stroking and sucking me, her palm warm and her mouth hot and wet. The pleasure is so intense, but so is the emotional whiplash of it. I don’t know how to just accept pleasure without earning it first.
But that doesn’t stop me from exploding down her throat.
“Maddy,” I growl, my arms locking up and holding her against me as my cock pulses with release. She moans, as if she enjoys swallowing my cum, and then leans away as soon as I loosen my grip.
“See,” she smiles, wiping her mouth. “You liked it.”
I raise a brow. “I like everything you do, Maddy.” I reach for her then, gently placing my palms beneath her elbows and guiding her up into my lap. She wraps her arms around my neck, and I lean into her, inhaling the sweet, familiar scent.
My lips press against her skin, and she sighs against me. “It’s my turn to make you feel good.”
She giggles against me, resting her cheek against my shoulder. “How would you like to do that?”
“Well…” I begin, but as soon as I open my mouth to say more, my phone rings. I stiffen at the sound and then reach for it, expecting it to be someone I can just silence and ignore.
It’s not. It’s Adrian.