Chapter 26 – nate
NATE
“Over the last quarter, demand for cybersecurity services has increased by fifty-five percent. The reason for that increase may seem obvious, but it’s not surprising. Survey respondents say they’re open to hiring…”
It takes me a few seconds to realize I’ve stopped paying attention to the man speaking.
I signed myself up for the virtual presentation a month ago, back when I thought I would need more information about hotel layouts and security.
With the CHG deal dead, it’s no longer relevant.
Worse, they’re not saying anything I don’t already know.
Groaning, I lean back in my desk chair and sign out of the meeting. There’s no way I’m going to be able to focus on it, not with the gorgeous distraction sitting right outside my office door.
Last night with Cat was beyond any of my fantasies. Finally being able to worship her body for as long as I wanted, then burying myself in her hot, wet little cunt, was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.
And it’s only the beginning.
Now that she’s agreed to play with me, I have so many plans for my kitten. I want to bring her on my private jet, and this time, I’ll bury my face between her thighs while we soar through the skies. I want to fuck her in front of a mirror, praising every part of her while she watches me touch her.
Then there’s the more mundane fantasy of sharing the bed in her cozy little apartment. I want to make love to Cat in the place that feels the most like her.
I don’t even have to wait. I could call her in here now and take her, right on my desk, while this useless presenter drones on.
Fuck. I drag my hands down my face. What is she doing to me? Every day, she consumes more and more of my thoughts. Soon, she’ll be the only person I ever think about.
I know I should probably fire her. My publicist would have a stroke if he knew I was fucking my assistant. It would seriously damage my reputation if it got out. The easiest solution would be to cut professional ties.
But Cat’s made it clear how much she wants to keep this job.
I remember how her pride shone on her face when she told me how she surprised herself with just how good she was at this job she never imagined for herself.
I can’t bear to take away that pride, especially knowing how hard she’s worked to prove herself.
If I fired her, I know she’d resent me for it.
Besides, I like having her this close. I can see her whenever I want, pulling her into meetings or inviting her out to lunch. I don’t want to give that up.
I palm my cock through my trousers. Maybe if I indulge myself in my fantasies, I’ll be able to actually focus on my job.
Closing my eyes, I picture the way Cat looked this morning, already sitting at her desk when I arrived.
She was wearing the same work dress she wore to our meeting in New York, the blue color setting off her honey-blonde hair.
Her cheeks were rosy and she was smiling so wide, it made my heart actually skip a fucking beat.
I’m the one who made her that happy.
And I don’t plan on stopping.
I want her to keep smiling for me.
A sharp ringing interrupts my thoughts before I can go any further. I don’t recognize the number on my work phone, but the caller ID says Toronto Globe. Frowning, I pick it up.
“You’ve reached Nathaniel Walsh,” I say in greeting.
“Good morning, Mr. Walsh. I’m Peter Cutter, a reporter at the Globe. I’m calling for a comment on your acquisition of Edmonton Security.”
My brow furrows. We haven’t put out a press release about the acquisition yet. How would anyone know about it?
“I’m afraid I can’t discuss that,” I say coolly. “Direct all further inquiries through my council. Goodbye—”
“Are you sure? Because I’m hearing that they’re reconsidering the deal after the rumors about your inappropriate relationship with your assistant. Care to clear anything up?”
Fuck.
I knew there was a possibility of the news getting out, but I never expected it to happen so quickly. Only a few people even know about us, and most of them I trust implicitly.
I take a deep breath in and out before I answer.
“I have no comment. But I better not hear that you’re harassing my employees with baseless accusations. Their personal lives aren’t any of your business.”
“I’ve already emailed the assistant in question,” Cutter says. “A Caitlin Daniels. I’m eager to hear her response. Maybe you want to comment first, before she can?”
My blood feels like ice in my veins. I know exactly what will happen if Cat reads that email. She’ll blame herself and end up consumed with guilt, even though she did nothing wrong. If it gets bad enough, she might even end up having another panic attack.
“No comment,” I tell Cutter before hanging up on him.
I tap my foot as I figure out what the fuck I’m going to do next. I’ll probably have to pull in my publicist, and I’ll have to speak to the board. But right now, only one thing matters.
I have to stop Cat from reading that email.
I press the button on my phone that connects to her desk speaker. “Miss Daniels, could you please hold all calls.”
“Yes, sir,” comes her quick reply.
I tap the intercom again. “And could I see you in my office?”
“Be right there,” she says. I don’t sense any worry or panic in her tone. Maybe I’m in luck. She might not have read it yet.
My fingers fly over my keyboard as I open administrative access to UPS emails. A few seconds later, I’m viewing Cat’s emails. I scan through them, looking for Cutter’s name. When I finally see it, my stomach drops.
It’s already been opened.
Then Cat appears in the doorway, her already pale face as white as printer paper.
She’s read it.
“Close the door, Cat,” I say in a low voice.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She looks over her shoulder. “I don’t want people to talk.”
“Just do it,” I growl.
Nodding, she closes the door gently behind her. She takes a seat in front of my desk, keeping her eyes fixed on the floor. It sets my nerves on edge. I wish she would look at me or give me some signal that she’s okay. That this hasn’t killed us already.
I school my face into a neutral expression. I won’t lie to her, but I don’t want to make her panic unnecessarily. “I spoke with a reporter a minute ago. I know he emailed you, as well.”
“Yes.” Her voice sounds painfully small.
“It’s important to remember that we don’t know all the facts yet. We know that he’s working on a story, and he has some idea that something’s happening between you and me. We don’t know if he has any proof, or if he’s even close to publishing. We don’t have to rush to action.”
She lets out a bitter laugh. “Don’t we? Nate, this is bad.”
I swallow as a lump forms in my throat. “Not necessarily. We’ll talk to my publicist. We can spin this.”
“You should never have hired me. I’m a waitress who didn’t finish college. Nothing made me qualified to do this job. If they know we have a personal relationship, that makes you look bad.” She still won’t look at me. Her hands are clenched into tight fists in her lap.
“I hired you because I thought you could do the job.”
“And I can. I am. I know I’m a good assistant, Nate. That doesn’t change what it looks like. It looks like you abused your power and used company resources to get laid.”
I cringe. Hearing Cat say it out loud feels like a dagger to my chest. I hate that anyone would think our relationship was tawdry or cheap, when what I feel for Cat is so much more.
But is it true? I was definitely attracted to Cat before I hired her. Did I really offer her the job, hoping it would help our relationship turn into something more?
My mind immediately shuts the idea down.
Yes, I liked Cat before I hired her. But at the time, I thought I would have more self-control.
She needed a job, and I knew she’d handle the workload better than my last few assistants.
I was right about that. Cat is organized, driven, hardworking, and a team player. She’s an exceptional assistant.
I had no expectations for sex to come along with the work. It just…happened.
Not that the truth matters. It all comes down to how things look.
I should know that by now.
“This—us—whatever’s happening between us, I know it can hurt you and UPS,” Cat continues. “I don’t want that, and I really want to keep this job. I like how it feels, knowing that I’m really good at something for once.”
“So what are you saying?” I feel dizzy, like the whole office is spinning around the two of us.
Finally, Cat looks me in the eyes. “I think we need to let things cool off between us.”
There it is.
I let myself care about someone. Like always, it ends with pain.
“If that’s what you want,” I say. The words sound echoey and distant, like someone else spoke them.
Cat nods. “I think it’s what’s best.”
She stands and opens the door, saying something about a conference call later today. My mind fails to latch on to any of the words. She might as well be speaking in a foreign language.
I don’t give a fuck about a conference call. All I want is for her to act like my kitten, the big-hearted, busy-brained, gorgeous woman who needs me to take care of her.
But she’s gone.