29. Millie
TWENTY-NINE
MILLIE
April
I climb out of the Uber, desperate for a shower, a strong drink, and another ten hours of sleep.
If I’m going to make things right with Gavin, this is where I need to start.
With Lake. With admitting to my father that maybe his idea that I work with her isn’t the worst idea.
Why didn’t I see it sooner? What kind of person would pass up working with Lake Paige, international popstar and musical prodigy, to write and sell music?
Being stubborn has cost me everything I ever wanted, and now I’m determined to make a change. Accept help, be vulnerable, open up. New year, new me, or maybe new country, new me. Whatever it is, I’m done getting in my own way.
Of course, when Lake is the one who opens the door, I lose a little of my determination.
She looks perfectly put together, big smile affixed to her face, brown hair hanging in waves, makeup perfect and dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white sweater that shows off her tiny bump.
Her pink feathered earrings sway when she steps forward, and when sunlight reflects off her big diamond ring, it practically blinds me.
“Millie!” Her tone is far too loud and full of exaggerated excitement. Clearly, she’s not only surprised to see me, but she’s hoping that single word will draw my father’s attention. “We weren’t expecting you. Come in.” She holds open the door.
With a big sigh and my new I can do this attitud e in place, I smile back. “Surprise! Sorry I didn’t call first.”
“Please don’t apologize.” Lake shakes her head and gives me a rueful smile. “This is your home. Your father will be thrilled you’re here. You just caught me off guard. I thought you were Gavin and Vivi. I’m sorry.”
I nearly choke on my own spit as my heart sinks to my feet. “Gavin and who?”
She smiles. “Oh, Vivi. I’m so happy for him. Sure, it all happened so fast, but the way he just moved her right in without blinking is so sweet. And from what Daniel has told us, it’s like she’s been part of his life since day one. It’s crazy, right?”
I nod, that fake smile souring. “Yeah. Crazy. And they’re coming here?” I ask, hoping the dread pressing down on me isn’t obvious.
I’m going to die. Gavin met someone, and he’s already moved her into his apartment? And she’s coming here?
Now?
Holy shit.
Holy fucking shit.
Maybe I should have called.
“Yup. I’m so excited to meet her. I’ve only seen pictures, but she’s absolutely gorgeous.
And the way he holds her?” She presses a hand to her chest and all but melts.
What the hell? “Sounds like he’ll barely let anyone come near her.
We’ll have to stop that tonight, right? I want my time with her. ”
Yeah, you can take whoever this Vivi is, and I’ll take my time ringing Gavin’s neck. Sure, it’s been four months since I last spoke to him, but what the hell? It has only been four months since I last spoke to him, and he’s already moved on ?
And what’s with Lake’s obsession with this chick? What’s so great about her?
God, if she sings too, I’m going to scream.
“Right,” I say slowly, fighting the urge to turn and head straight back to Paris.
“Millie!” My father jogs down the stairs wearing a bright smile.
He’s got me wrapped in his arms a heartbeat later, and for a moment, I forget everything else and just sink against him. Before all the drama of these past two years, I was a daddy’s girl. He was my favorite person in the world.
God, I missed him.
I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze, hoping the pressure will ease the ache in my chest. “Hi, Daddy.”
“What are you doing here?” He grasps my shoulders and holds me at arm’s length, beaming as he gives me a once-over.
“Did you just fly in? I would have picked you up. Your brother didn’t say anything.
” He takes my carry-on from me and hefts it over his shoulder, then guides me into the living room, eyeing my two suitcases as he does. “How long are you home for?”
“Um.” I look from him to Lake, who’s followed us into the room, and back again.
She steps up beside him, giving me a genuine smile, and he wraps an arm around her waist. In the past, that would have bothered me. But she’s part of his family. She’s having his baby. My brother or sister. Which means she’s officially my family too.
“I—um. I’m back for good.”
My dad frowns and drops his arm from Lake’s waist. “Why?”
With an awkward laugh, I lower my gaze to the floor and will myself not to get teary at that reaction. “Thanks, Dad. Tell me how you really feel.”
He steps close so we’re toe to toe and stands silently until I look up at him. “I’m happy you’re home. I’m just hoping it’s because you’re running toward something and not away from something. When I saw you in Paris?—”
Lake clears her throat and rests a hand on his back. “I’ll give you guys some privacy. I have to get things ready for dinner anyway.” She smiles and squeezes my arm as she passes. “I’m really glad you’re home.”
I swallow down my emotions as we watch her leave. When she’s out of earshot, he clears his throat and starts again, this time in a lower voice. “Last time we spoke, you seemed lost.”
I nod. “I was running then. I’m not anymore. I know what I want, and I think this is where I’ll find it.”
He pulls me in for another hug and presses his cheek to the crown of my head like he did when I was a little girl. “If there’s anything I can do to help?—”
“I know, Dad.”I release him and step back.
“And I promise I won’t push Lake on you. I know?—”
I squeeze his arm, stopping him again. “You were right about that. And honestly, if she’s willing to help…”
The smile that splits his face is so big it hurts to look at. “I’ll let you handle talking to her. But I can’t imagine she’d say no.”
He’s right. Lake is one of the kindest people I know. I’m not sure why I didn’t give her the benefit of the doubt before. Feeling lost and jealous made it hard to think straight for a long, long time.
“Lake mentioned that Gavin is coming over,” I hedge, going for nonchalant, even as my stomach twists itself into knots.
“Yeah, he and Vivi are staying for the weekend. I hope that’s okay. I could put you in Daniel’s room if you want. That way they don’t keep you up all night.”
I have to fight back a shudder at my dad’s insinuation. Gross. Would Gavin really fuck a girl while he’s visiting my dad?
What am I thinking? The man fucked me while he was visiting my dad, so it’s probably not the right question to be asking myself.
That’s highly unlikely anyway, because the minute he sees me here, he’ll probably book it out of this place. God, could this be more awkward?
“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” I wander back to the foyer with my dad on my heels, ready to take my suitcases upstairs and take some time to collect myself. “I think I’m going to shower. It was a long flight.”
“Of course, baby girl. Let me help you carry up your luggage.”
The moment my dad shuts the door to my room and I’m alone, I fall back against the bed and squeeze my eyes shut. In the quietest scream known to man, I release my aggravation, my disappointment, my devastation. How the fuck did I let this happen? Truly. How?
And what’s so great about this Vivi?
I pull out my phone. Do I have the balls to google Gavin? My heart rate picks up just thinking about it. I stopped following the Bolts and actively avoided asking my brother about anything team related the day Gavin left me standing alone in his bedroom.
Right about now, talking to Daniel would be the smart thing to do. As far as twins go, he’s a pretty good one, and I know he would help if I told him everything.
But god, how do I even broach the subject? And if Gavin is in love with this Vivi, would it even do me any good?
If there’s no chance for us, then the last thing I want is for my father to find out about our relationship.
What would be the point? A lot of people would be hurt for no reason.
No. I’m done being selfish. I’ll show Gavin that I’ve changed.
I’m going to shower, get dressed, go downstairs, and smile.
I’ll be the best damn ex in the history of exes.
And maybe, just maybe, he’ll realize what a mistake it was to move on so quickly.
Or maybe I’ll stay up here and kill a little time by googling ways to make an ex wish he’d never said goodbye …
At the sound of the doorbell, my spine goes rigid and my heart flips over. With a deep breath, I force my body to relax, and then I finish applying my lipstick.
For a few seconds, I don’t move away from the mirror. I take this moment to let myself live in denial and pretend that this Vivi chick doesn’t exist. That Gavin is still mine to have.
Closing my eyes, I let the memories of the time when he was still mine play out and soak up the love and the pain that come with each one.
I visualize his smile. His loud, carefree laugh.
The way his brown eyes would turn almost molten when I’d walk into the room.
How he’d track me with his gaze. How being near him was never enough.
We had to find a way to touch. Even if we shouldn’t.
Whether it was out with our brothers, his hand on my knee beneath the table, or in my father’s hot tub.
With a hand pressed against the ache in my chest, I zero in on the bed where he held me so many months ago. The longer I look, the more acute the pain gets, and the bigger the Gavin-shaped hole inside me grows.
I’ve been frozen for months. Stuck in a cycle on repeat.
But that ended today when I got on the plane. When I decided to take my life back.
Fuck this insane situation. I won’t let him move on from us. I’ll remind him of who I was to him. I’ll put in the damn work.
I’m not going anywhere. This Vivi better be ready, because I’m taking back my man.
With a deep exhale, I open the door and trudge down the stairs.
“Oh my gosh. She’s so perfect,” Lake coos, her voice carrying from the kitchen.