48. Gavin
FORTY-EIGHT
GAVIN
Life didn’t miraculously change the moment we came together and decided this was it for us.
In fact, less than two hours after we finally drifted off, reality hit in the form of a baby’s cry.
Only tonight, that meant that while Millie went to comfort Vivi, I made the bottle, and then we sat on the couch together, my arm wrapped around Millie while she fed our girl.
Once she was down again, we went back to our shared bed, snuggled, and slept until my alarm went off.
“You sure you don’t want to meet me for lunch?”
Millie smiles at me over a cup of coffee. She’s still got my Bolts Stanley Cup shirt on, but her bare legs have me wanting to drop to my knees in front of her in the kitchen and eat her for breakfast.
She smiles up at me, coffee mug in hand. “I have plans.”
I press a kiss to the side of her neck. “What kind of plans?” I ask, rubbing my nose along the sensitive skin below her ear. Then, because I’m a jealous prick, I add, “Better not be with Camden.”
Goose bumps erupt down her arms, and her laugh is breathy. “He’ll be at practice with you, dummy.”
I glower, which makes her laugh harder. Behind me, Vivi gurgles in response, laughing right along with her from her highchair.
“And I wouldn’t be with him anyway. I told you, we were just friends. Besides, I’m a taken woman.”
“Damn right you are. And tell me this, who are you taken with?” I brush my nose against her neck again, getting lost beneath her curls.
“This really hot dad. We call him Hockey Daddy.”
With a grunt, I nip at her neck. “No one is calling me Hockey Daddy.”
She shakes with quiet laughter. “Lennox does.”
“Lennox is a troublemaker.”
“That’s so accurate.”
“Enough distracting me,” I say, pulling back and smoothing a hand along Vivi’s head. “What are you doing today?”
Catching her lip between her teeth, she sobers and settles her coffee cup on the counter. “Lake is coming over to hear some of my songs.”
“Really?” I step closer and grasp her arms.
Pensive, she worries that lip and dips her chin, avoiding my gaze. “Is that all right? I probably should have asked whether if it’s okay to use your piano.”
I tilt her chin up so she’s forced to look at me when I speak these next words. “Your piano.”
Her face is lined with confusion as she searches my eyes.
“I bought it for you.”
“For me?” she asks, splaying a hand over her heart. “But we weren’t together. In fact, I’m pretty sure you hated me when you moved into this apartment.” She looks around as if the room will agree with her, like the walls will tell her I was toasting her absence on move-in day.
“I hated that I couldn’t have you. Hated that you were hurting so much and I couldn’t fix it. Hated that I walked away from you when I maybe should have just held on tighter. But hated you?” I shake my head. “Never.”
Her golden eyes well with tears as her throat works, like she’s trying to swallow back the emotion.
I kiss her forehead. Fuck, I hate when she’s sad. “And when the interior decorator asked for the must-haves in the apartment, the first thing on the list was the piano. A grand piano, to be exact.”
“Why?” she whispers.
My focus settles on her face again. On the beautiful, trusting eyes that watch me, that have let me in, despite how undeserving I am.
“I want to listen to you play music every day, Peaches. And whether you want to play for just us, maybe teach our girl to play when she’s old enough, or if you want to write music or sell out stadiums, I’ll be here beside you, in awe.
” I cup her cheek, brushing my thumb across her smooth, freckled skin.
“Your dreams are my dreams. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to discover what those dreams are.
I guess I just thought if the piano was here—I don’t know—maybe you’d come back to me one day. ”
“Gavin.”
“It was a mistake walking away. Letting you believe that you alone aren’t enough. Because you are everything, Millie.”
A tear slips down her cheek. “I still don’t know exactly what I want. Outside of you and Vivi, my life feels so up in the air. Is it weird that I’m nervous?”
I brush the tear away, then pull her close. “Not at all.” I lean my head on top of hers. “You are going to do great. And like you told your father, if Lake’s not interested, there are thousands of other musicians out there. Someone will be. This isn’t a one-shot deal.”
Millie tilts her head up and presses a kiss to my lips. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being here. For believing in me when I didn’t.” Her freckles get lost among a pretty pink blush. “For caring.”
Care doesn’t begin to scratch the surface of what I feel for her, but now isn’t the time to say it. I have a hockey practice to get to, and when I finally tell her exactly how I feel, it won’t be as I’m running out the door.
I kiss her softly and remind her that I’ll always be here. Then I drop a kiss on Vivi’s head as I pass her highchair and head out the door.
“Aw, no Vivi today?” Aiden whines as he skates up to the bench, lip pushed out in a pout.
I laugh. “No. She’s with Millie.”
Camden and Daniel are just past him, stretching on the ice.
War and Brooks are close by too, locked in a friendly competition to see who can do more push-ups.
My idiot brother has continued his “tradition” of doing push-ups before home games with Sara on his back.
If the guy can do that in his full game day goalie gear, I don’t know why the Canadian bothers trying to keep up.
“Did someone say Baby Hall?” War is off the ice and on his skates in one fluid motion.
I fold my arms across my chest and affect my coach voice, ensuring all the guys are paying attention. “This is the last time I’m going to say this. Her name is Millie. Next person to call her Baby Hall,” I say with an irritated growl, “will be doing suicides for a week.”
Daniel claps. “Yes, Coach. Thank you.”
I hold back my wince. The guy wouldn’t be thanking me if he knew what I did to his sister last night on my piano.
“And if any one of you goes near her…” he adds, holding out a gloved hand and moving it slowly, from one guy to another.
Camden nudges him in the arm. “Except for me, since you gave me the okay to ask her out.”
That sends my blood pressure skyrocketing. I grind my teeth to keep myself from doing anything rash, like knocking the kid out.
“As friends,” Daniel adds. “I told you it was okay to go to the movie as friends so she had someone to spend time with other than me.”
“We gonna actually practice hockey, or is this an episode of Sex and the City ?” Brooks chimes in.
Aiden spins around. “Is that what you’re watching with Sara this week?” He skates up to Brooks. “I wanna watch. Can I come over?”
“No,” Brooks says quickly.
I chuckle despite the annoyance that has a stranglehold on me. “If you guys are done talking women and television, maybe we can play some hockey?”
“Right.” Aiden nods, affecting an expression that on anyone else would be jovial but is about as serious as he gets. “No one mention Peaches, and no Sex and the City marathon with Sara. Got it.” With that, he takes off for center ice.
My stomach bottoms out, and Brooks’s eyes are wide as he looks from our little brother to me.
“Who’s Peaches?” Daniel asks, frowning.
Fuck.
Aiden whips around, mouth dropped open and eyes filled with shock.
“Peaches and Cream,” Brooks sings.
I swear I’ve never wanted to kiss one of my brothers, but right now, Brooks is my favorite of them all.
Daniel shakes his head and barks out a laugh. “Ah, shit. That’s a good one. Leprechaun,” he says, skating off toward Aiden. “Can’t wait to hear what lyrics you put to that one.”
I blow out a breath as I watch him go. Dammit. That was a close one.
“Huck, don’t run too far ahead,” my brother yells.
Finn hollers something unintelligible over his shoulder as he and Deogi dart off toward the empty baseball field in the middle of the park. Winnie is walking in front of us, holding Addie’s hand, and the twins are content to watch the world around us from the stroller my brother is pushing.
“I’m so ducking happy it’s almost summer.”
Beckett smiles over at me. “Tell me about it. Having five kids inside all winter has been hell.”
Winnie turns around with a smirk on her face.
Beckett sighs and digs his phone out of his pocket. “Duck. I’ll Venmo the jar.”
“Is this still the one the twins set up, or did you start a new one once you all moved out?”
Beckett side eyes me. “You think the Shining Twins would allow me to do that? No. They control the investments. I’m pretty sure all the brownstone kids will be set for life by the time the girls turn twelve.”
I laugh. My brother’s nicknames for the kids who lived with his family in the brownstone from hell—his words, not mine—always make me smile. “You need to give Vivi a nickname.”
Beckett slips his phone back into his pocket, expression as stoic as always. “You mean Rosie? I picked the moniker the day she showed up on your doorstep.”
I study my brother as we continue following the big kids. “Rosie?”
“Yeah, the Riveter. You know, ‘We Can Do It.’”
I scratch my head. “I don’t get it.”
“Girl’s got tenacity. She settled you down with one look and made you smile again. Despite the shitty cards life has dealt her, she’s always smiling. Kid is a fighter.”
Shit. Tears burn behind my eyes. I don’t know the last time I cried, but suddenly, I worry I might break down right here in the middle of the park.
My brother’s right. No matter how much I hate that she has to be, Vivi is a fighter.
I’d fight all her battles for her if I could.
I want to make her life a beautiful one.
Want to give her both a mother and a father. It’s what she deserves— everything.
I swallow and look away. Last thing I need is my brother ribbing me for crying.