Text Messages From Tyler’s and Ava’s Phones
TEXT MESSAGES FROM TYLER’S AND AVA’S PHONES
Dad: Could you give me a call, son? Dory told me about your news, and we’re a bit confused.
Sara: OH MY GOD! Did you just see War’s Instagram? Ava! We need a FaceTime chat immediately! Why do we have to be on a road trip for two weeks!?
Lennox: You’re complaining? I get no sex for two weeks.
Lennox: Also, congrats, Ava! Though I already told you in person at work.
Hannah: Our girl is all different shades of red.
Hannah: pic of Ava hiding her face
Hannah: The number of comments on that Instagram post is insane! Our little Ava is a star!
Ava: You guys are crazy. It’s all because it’s Tyler.
Hannah: No, it’s because you’re the gorgeous woman wearing no makeup and Tyler’s Bolts T-shirt in the photo he decided to go official with. #mostwholesomepictureever #mybestieishot
Xander: What the fuck is this about you marrying my asshole stepbrother? Is this some kind of ploy to get me to apologize? Okay, fine. I’m sorry I left you there. But how the fuck are we supposed to get married and have kids if the guys my father works with think you play stupid games like this?
Xander: Ava, pick up your phone.
Xander. Call me.
Xander: The marriage is REAL?
Xander: You cunt. My mother says you really married the asshole. This is fucking insane.
Xander: Okay, you’ve made your point. Now pick up the goddamn phone so we can work this out.
Xander: Did you move in with him? I just stopped by your place, and the doorman says you don’t live there anymore.
Xander: WHAT THE FUCK, AVA?
Xander: CALL ME.
Xander: Slut.
Tyler: I landed, wifey. Heard we may have broken the internet.
Ava: …I don’t even know what to say to you.
Tyler: LOL. Told you I’d make sure everyone knew you were mine. I’ll call you and the kids later.
Tyler: P.S. Thanks for marrying me today. You really were the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.