41. Daniel
FORTY-ONE
DANIEL
“And this is the practice facility.”
Holy shit. The place is incredible. Everything I’ve seen this afternoon has been. Just like Camden said it was.
“Since we’re playing you tomorrow,” Coach Bexley says, “I’m going to have to end our tour here.”
With a smile, I hold out my hand. “I really appreciate you showing me around.”
“Was my pleasure. Think about what I said.” With that, he’s gone.
I slip my hands into my pockets and take another minute to survey the space. It’s been a wild few days. Hell, it’s been a wild year.
Sometimes when I think back even to last fall, I swear I must be remembering someone else’s life. I was still part of the dream team, still on the first line with War and Aiden, but even then, something was missing. My life had no depth. No meaning.
Hannah provided all that by just existing.
And then she went and made me a dad.
Hockey is no longer my sole focus. Even still, it means a hell of a lot to me. Without it, I wouldn’t recognize myself.
But the Bolts aren’t my family, Hannah is. Every decision I make going forward has to be with her and our child at the forefront of my mind. And honestly, I wouldn’t know how not to put them first. Since she gave me a chance, she’s been my first thought and my last.
I start my trek back to the hotel, gearing up to make an important phone call.
“I still can’t believe you guys are going to be parents.” Camden shakes his head as he sips his soda water.
I bring Hannah’s hand to my lips and press a kiss to the back of it. “You better get ready to call me Daddy Hall, because that’s what I’ll be in two months.”
My girl rolls her eyes and yanks her hand away.
Sputtering on his soda, Camden bolts upright. “Don’t hit me with your sex talk. Save that for the hotel.”
Hannah coughs out a raspy laugh. My favorite kind. “He wishes I’d call him Daddy Hall.”
“You will,” I say as I snag her hand again and settle it in my lap. “It’s only a matter of time.”
“How are you liking Vegas?” Hannah asks, changing the direction of the conversation.
We’re at dinner at the Top of the World, and I won’t lie, it’s really fucking nice to see Camden.
Hockey hasn’t been the same without him.
He laughed his ass off when I filled him in on the new guy, Smiles.
He doesn’t think the kid will last with the Bolts, and I couldn’t agree more.
He belongs in New York with the rest of the assholes, but I guess I can’t say that about a teammate.
My buddy leans back, stretching his arm across the empty chair beside him. “It’s awesome. Like I told your boy, if he’d said yes, he’d be a god on the ice here. But it looks like I’ll have to rule Vegas all on my own.”
While he’s chuckling at himself, Hannah’s hand goes limp within mine.
And my gut sinks. Dammit.
“Right,” my girl says, her tone flat. “Sounds amazing. Will you excuse me? I have to use the bathroom. The baby’s sitting on my bladder.”
I brush her arm as she stands, desperate for her to look at me, but she avoids my gaze, and since I don’t want to make a scene, I let her go.
Once she’s out of earshot, I hiss an aggravated breath through my teeth and push back from the table. “Fuck.”
“What happened?”
Jaw locked, I shoot him a glare. “I never told her about the trade.”
Camden scowls. “The trade you didn’t take?”
I toss down my napkin. “Yeah. But it doesn’t matter whether I’m taking it or not.
The issue is that I never talked to her about it.
Now she thinks I’m hiding shit.” I duck my head and yank at my hair.
I should have just told her. But she’s been so overwhelmed, and until a few hours ago, I truly didn’t know how it would turn out.
And I didn’t want to risk fucking things up until I had all the information.
Things with her have always been so delicate.
She has so much baggage. And the people who were supposed to care about her most have treated her like crap her entire life.
Her absentee father. Her absolute disgrace of a mother.
An ex who made her believe she couldn’t have real love.
I’ve worked so hard to do everything right, and I was terrified of rocking the boat, but fuck, I think I might have screwed it all up anyway.
I never had any intention of leaving Boston. I would never have uprooted our lives weeks before our baby is due so I can play hockey.
But it hurt, being moved to second line, being separated from the two guys I have such good chemistry with. And yeah, I was embarrassed. Angry even.
How could I not be when Gavin made the changes? The guy isn’t just my coach, he’s my brother-in-law.
When he brought Noah on, it fucked with my head. Made me feel inferior. I could practically see the writing was on the wall.
“Fuck.” I push back from the table and stand. “I’ve got to go talk to her.”
Camden nods. “Do what you need. I’ll see you at the game tomorrow.”
I feel like shit leaving him here before we’ve even ordered. “I’m really sorry.” With a deep inhale, I glance toward the hall where the bathrooms are.
Is that where Hannah really went? I wouldn’t be surprised if she left. I’d deserve it.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I head for the bathrooms, my hands balled at my sides, blood pressure rising, head pounding. So unbelievably pissed at myself for fucking this up.
When the door to the women’s bathroom swings open, I’m ready to hustle past the person exiting, but I almost tip over when Hannah is the one who comes barreling out.
Her eyes are red and puffy, but her face is dry, as if she cleaned herself up so she could return to the table and act like nothing is wrong.
It isn’t until I step in front of her that she notices me.
“Daniel?” Her eyes go wide, and she says my name on an inhale, like she’s surprised to see me, her hand going to her chest. Quickly, her expression morphs into a glare.
“I should have told you.” I step right up to her, keeping my hands to myself for now.
“We can talk about it later. Let’s get back to dinner.” She takes a step to the side.
Before she can skirt around me, I grab her arm and tug gently. “I told Cam we wouldn’t be coming back.”
She lets out a derisive snort. “Great. Another steak dinner I missed out on.”
The lead ball in my gut sinks farther. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll order ten steaks from room service.”
With a sigh, she leans against the wall, her entire demeanor wary. “Why didn’t you tell me about the offer from Vegas?”
“I was never going to take it.” I make sure each word is clear and concise. The last thing I want is for her to believe there was ever a chance I’d leave her and our child in Boston.
“Why?” Her voice is soft, yet it pierces my heart.
I step closer, pressing her against the wall and cradling her cheek. “Hannah, we’re having a baby. Your job is in Boston. Your life. You’ve given up enough because of this pregnancy. I refuse to ask you to give up more.”
She presses her hand to my chest, but rather than push me away, she grips my shirt. “You’re my life.” With her free hand, she slides my hand from her cheek and settles it on her stomach. “You and this baby. You told me home wasn’t a place. You said I was your home. And you’re mine.”
I take half a step back and shake my head. “Wait, you’re not mad at me?”
She huffs. “Oh, I’m mad, all right. I’m upset that you thought you could make a decision like this without me.
I’m furious that you thought so little of my love for you, that you assumed I wouldn’t do exactly what you do for me.
If this is going to work, you need to talk to me. You need to trust me.”
Heart thundering, I grasp her hip. “I do trust you.”
She shakes her head. “Not enough to talk to me about this. Not enough to see that I’m in this with you.”
I bury my face in her hair and inhale, letting her scent soothe me while I collect my thoughts.
She’s right. I guess I didn’t trust that her feelings for me are as strong as mine are for her.
In the back of my mind, there was always this concern that if not for the baby, she never would have given me a real shot.
That maybe she was with me because she felt like she should be.
It’s unbelievable, honestly, to think that she’d give up any more than she already has just so she could be with me .
Not for the baby, not for us, but just for me.
I pull back, exhaling slowly. “You’d really leave Boston? Your job?”
She dips her chin once. “I planned to talk to you after your game tomorrow. I’m going to give Beckett and Liv my notice next week. After the baby is born, I want to stay home and write. I do not expect you to support us?—”
I bark out a laugh. “Might as well stop right there. You better believe I want to take care of my wife and the mother of my child.”
She blinks up at me, her lips parting. “Your wife?”
“Yeah, Han. Eventually I’m going to ask you to be my wife.” Though the uncertainty that’s lived inside me all these months bubbles up, I choke it down and own the statement, standing taller. “You ready to run yet?”
She looks down at her feet. “I’m not moving, am I?”
“What about tomorrow?”
I need to know this is for real. For so long, I’ve been terrified to make a wrong move, certain I’d lose her.
But I made the wrong move tonight, and she’s still here.
So maybe she’s in this. Maybe she’s always been in this.
Maybe I couldn’t let myself believe it, because for so long, she felt unattainable.
She was unattainable. Older. My sister’s best friend.
Confident and intelligent and unimpressed with my flirting. But now?
“And the day after that, and the day after that. For all the days of our lives,” she whispers.
I shake my head. Fuck. I’m in awe of this woman. “I’m so fucking in love with you, dream girl.”