Chapter 32 #2
“All I’m saying is that you’re not getting any younger, dude,” Marcus explains gently, gripping my shoulder in a way that’s meant to be encouraging but just feels suffocating in this context.
“There’s no shame in where you’ve been, but I think you should really consider branching out more.
Give yourself permission to expand. You’re an unattached, loaded bachelor with means and nothing but free time.
Don’t waste any more of it running on autopilot, working a dead-end job you don’t even need in the town you’ve always hated. ”
“Where is this coming from?” I ask defensively, heat crawling up my neck.
Marcus shrugs, looking out at Luke and the kids thoughtfully. Then he sighs. “I don’t want to see you miserable for the rest of your life because you stopped trying.”
“I’m not miserable.” I scowl.
“Jesus, man. Just think about what I said, okay?” Marcus rolls his eyes. “That’s all I’m asking here.”
I don’t respond other than tossing up a dismissive shrug, and he seems to give up trying to encourage me further.
His attention is suddenly pulled away by someone inside the house, and he gives me one last pat on the back before leaving me to stew in my confused annoyance as I try to figure out what the hell that was and why it felt so triggering.
Sure, I’ll admit there was a time when I wanted to go out and see the world, traveling abroad or even cross-country.
It was a dream of mine since I was young, especially after listening to how Dad used to talk about the world outside our small town.
I fell in love with the idea of exploring all that life had to offer back when the world felt colossal and immeasurable.
But when he died, my world imploded with the loss.
Suddenly, that big, expansive dream felt too overwhelming and impossible to achieve, and the parameters of my search for happiness changed, shrinking down to simply seeking comfort in the familiar and mundane.
There was safety in mediocrity. Security.
And I had my books. Reading stories about grand adventures and worlds so different from my own gave me a glimpse into the kinds of things I was missing, satiating my curiosity without ever having to leave the comfort of my bed.
I was content with that. Tales of love and romance were always fun to read, but that’s all they were.
Stories for entertainment—not realistic or attainable.
I never felt like I was lacking in that area…
Yet, as my gaze falls back on Luke across the yard, I realize how wrong I had been about that.
These past couple of months, I’ve experienced my very own whirlwind romance, the kind I’d only ever read about in those same books.
It is real, and I found it. Now I don’t think I could ever go back to the way things were.
Luke opened a door that had been long closed, taking my hand, and drawing me out of my shell into a world of color I never thought I would experience in my lifetime.
He broke all the barriers I’d carefully erected to protect myself and charged headfirst into forbidden territory to reach me where no one else dared tread.
Luke’s the reason I’m looking forward to the future for the first time in years, imagining all of the possibilities tomorrow may bring when I’d previously given up on it.
And all because he walked into my life on a random Tuesday in August. Without him, none of this would have happened.
As I watch him laughing with genuine delight, doing something he clearly loves, I can’t help but think Marcus might be partially right.
Maybe I have been lying to myself all these years, saying I was okay even though I wasn’t, because I never believed I was allowed that kind of happiness again.
I was firmly heading down a path of quiet misery instead.
I may have gotten too complacent, just surviving instead of truly living, but with Luke, it might finally be time to change that.
Luke continues interacting with the kids as they gather around Ryder’s phone, studying it closely.
It’s impossible to hear what they’re saying, but their conversation seems animated and focused.
Then Luke seems to agree to something, and the kids erupt into cheers.
He comes back over to me a minute later and shrugs off his jacket, tossing it down on the deck beside me.
“Looks like you’ve made some new friends.” I smirk.
“Indeed, I’ve found my tribe.” Luke beams. “Age means nothing when you’re bonding over musical theater.”
“Is that what’s happening?”
“Did you know Ryder wants to be on Broadway?” Luke shakes his head fondly. “He’s been bombarding me with questions about how I started, trying to figure out how he can get there, too. It’s aggressively adorable.”
“Marcus mentioned he’s been a bit obsessed with wanting to move to New York.”
Luke grins. “Well, for now, I’ve agreed to help them learn a TikTok dance,” he says as he begins to empty his pockets, handing me his wallet, phone, and truck keys.
“Do you know how to do a TikTok dance?” I arch a brow curiously.
“Ye of little faith.” Luke chuckles.
He spots the beer in my hand, and his lips twist into a feral grin.
Swiping the bottle, he gives me a meaningful look before taking a long pull, letting his Adam’s apple bob with what can only be described as overdramatized appeal.
My eyes widen slightly, and I can feel the flush on my cheeks as he hums his satisfaction, licking his lips before handing the bottle back to me as if that was a very normal thing to do in a house full of strangers who have no idea we’re dating.
“There,” he purrs softly, only loud enough for me to hear. “Now you can pretend I’ve just kissed you.”
“You’re such a cheeseball.” I chuckle, shaking my head, but I can’t deny the way it makes my heart flutter.
“Yes, but I’m your cheeseball.”
With a final smile meant just for me, Luke turns back and rejoins the group of teenagers eagerly awaiting his tutelage.
It’s funny how they’re all looking at him like they’ve found a new god, their faces full of reverence and awe.
Ryder especially looks like he really could die and go to heaven with how excited he is, his attention solely focused on Luke.
Ryder’s boyfriend, on the other hand, looks like he might be plotting my boyfriend’s murder.
I sit on the edge of the deck, placing Luke’s things beside me on top of his jacket. As I take a sip of my beer, I’m greeted with the memory of Luke’s lips wrapped around the bottle, and I can’t help but smile at the charming idiocy of sharing an indirect kiss.
I watch the kids follow Luke’s directions like gospel as they slowly move through each step.
It starts a little rocky at first. Some of the kids are downright awful, unable to follow the routine with any grace or, in some cases, dignity.
Ryder seems to be somewhat of a natural.
Aside from Luke, he might be the best of the group.
The longer they all repeat the moves, taking helpful tips or constructive criticism from Luke, the more it seems to turn into something resembling a uniform dance.
When they’re satisfied with their progress, someone produces a tripod and sets up a phone to start recording, and they’re off running through the entire thing as if they didn’t only start learning it twenty minutes ago.
By now, there’s a bigger audience watching these proceedings with interest, but I hardly notice them.
My eyes are glued to Luke, completely mesmerized by how he moves.
I could always tell the man was graceful by the way he simply exists in his entire body, every limb a mere extension of himself rather than some gangly protrusion.
Watching this only confirms it. He’s fluid, yet precise, hitting each move with flawless strength, and the kids feed off his energy.
Even though the dance itself is choppy and almost robotic, it’s clear which one of the group is the professional.
When Luke locks eyes with me halfway through, I can feel how my heart quickens as his smile grows, glowing more radiantly than the sun and all the stars in the sky, heating me up from the inside.
In that moment, it’s like there’s only him and me alone in the entire universe, everyone else falling away.
He’s moving his hips just for me, calling out to me with his body, and I’m trapped under his spell, completely hypnotized…
Until the sound of a cell phone rings at my side, snapping me out of the trance like a bucket of cold water poured down my spine.
I nearly jump out of my skin to realize that I’ve been staring at Luke—rather salaciously, I might add—as if I’m not currently surrounded by a million people to bear witness.
Suddenly, it feels like everyone’s eyes are on my back, their heads together, whispering about what they’re seeing, and heat floods my cheeks with unexpected mortification.
It seizes my whole body, moving through me in a tangible wave.
I’m caught in a full-out war between fight or flight mode, resulting in a debilitating freeze instead.
All I can do is stare blankly across the yard, struggling to put air in my lungs.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d be afraid I was dying with how my heart suddenly races, the panic attack taking hold.