Chapter Thirty-Six #3
There’s a sudden, unexpected flurry of emotion in my chest to hear Luke introduce me to his roommate like that—as his boyfriend.
It’s the first time he’s done that to anyone since we started dating, and warmth rises to my cheeks with the acknowledgment.
Damn. If I’d known the swell of pride being referred to as ‘his’ would bring me, I would have come out ten times already with my friends back home.
“Ethan, this is Rei,” Luke continues, affectionately tousling his roommate’s hair. “They’re a children’s book illustrator, and the one responsible for all the plants overtaking the apartment.”
“You’re welcome for all the life-giving oxygen.
” Rei dips their head as if they’ve just been given the highest compliment.
Then they grin, giving me another long up-and-down look of unmistakable ogling.
“Jesus. I didn’t know the Midwest made such fucking beefcakes.
What do they feed you out there? Are you telling me I have to go to the land of corn to find a piece of meat like this for myself? ”
“Rei.” Luke’s eye twitches slightly. “He’s barely been here five minutes. Please don’t scare him away with your nonsense after all the trouble it took getting him here.”
“Don’t worry. He’s ‘Built Ford Tough.’ I can tell,” they say, giving me a little wink.
Luke groans and rolls his eyes. I can’t help but grin. I think I’m going to like this short person.
Suddenly, a loud commotion from down the hall grabs our attention, and we turn just as a small black cat comes barreling out of another room, claws scraping against the old wooden floors as it runs at full tilt toward us.
I instantly recognize Misty, Luke’s long-missed fur baby, her bright blue eyes shining out in stark contrast to the dark fur.
She’s making such an urgent mewling sound that I’m concerned she’s in distress, but she bolts right for Luke with obvious intent.
“Misty!” Luke lets out a broken sob right as the cat leaps off the floor, practically throwing herself into his outstretched arms. She vaults six feet up into the air as if it were nothing, which makes me think she’s had lots of practice.
Misty’s paws are on Luke’s chest, and she’s meowing so loudly and animatedly in his face that I get the distinct impression she’s yelling at him in her broken chatter.
If she spoke English, I’m positive I’d hear a few choice words in the mix.
But then she squirms enthusiastically in Luke’s grip, jumping onto his shoulders to aggressively rub her face against the back of his head before melting like a slinky into his arms again.
She butts her head against his chin with an aggressive thwomp, only to turn around and sink her teeth into his neck—without breaking any skin—a moment later.
It’s almost like she doesn’t know whether to be mad at him for disappearing or to maul him with love now that he’s back.
I’ve never seen a cat act like this in my entire life, and I’m shocked but touched by the reaction.
For Luke, it’s completely overwhelming. He sinks to the floor, hugging Misty tightly against his chest, and he sobs as he pushes his face against her fur, apologizing for leaving her, and promising to never leave her again.
She starts purring uncontrollably, and I can’t help but wonder if she somehow understands his blubbering.
It’s such a heartbreakingly tender reunion that I feel myself tearing up watching it.
Rei clearly feels it, too, wiping tears from their eyes as they sink to the floor to hug Luke and pet Misty at the same time.
I crouch down and grip Luke’s knee, trying to offer some comfort, and Luke takes my hand, squeezing my fingers so desperately it’s like he can’t exist without me.
He turns with such a startlingly vulnerable look in his eye and says, “Thank you,” and it hits me like a wave.
I can feel the full weight behind those two little words and everything he’s tying to them: being here, home, with me, even if it’s only for the moment.
God, if only this man knew how much I love him.
It still shocks me whenever I realize how much I do.
Going against the fear and anxiety of coming to this city wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t absolutely and utterly besotted, and that terrifies me as well.
I just wish I had the courage to tell him any of this.
But seeing Luke here—spending only five minutes in his world—has resolidified the truth. We don’t belong together. We were always doomed to find our way to ruin, our paths reaching their ultimate divergence where our worlds can’t meet. He belongs here. I don’t.
If I were a smart man, I would have accounted for that the moment I first realized I was attracted to him. If we’d never gotten together in the first place, it could have saved us the inevitable heartache. Maybe it would have been worth it to stay away. Somehow, I know it wouldn’t have been.
For now, I content myself with the fact that we’re still together.
No matter how much time we might have left together, I won’t squander it worrying about all the what-ifs.
For now, I cup a hand to Luke’s cheek and wipe away his tears, then I lean in and kiss him, trying to put all my feelings behind it, hoping that he understands.