Boudicca

Chapter XLIII

All was chaos. The entrance to the valley was wide and flat, which made it easy to see Roman legionnaires overrunning every

caravan except for the few that had already made it to us and slipped behind our chariots and cavalry to head for the rear

of the valley. The Romans cut down our wagons like wheat before a scythe. We heard the screams of our families even above

the thunder of our chariots and the clash of swords and shields.

We tried to reach them, tried to slip around or push beyond our caravans and put ourselves between them and the Romans, but

there were too many of us—an explosion of people. The wagons clogged the mouth of the valley. The Romans waded through them,

slaughtering elders and children, farmers and weavers, shepherds and cooks.

And then the Roman soldiers pushed wagons and bodies aside just enough for them to march into the valley in formation, shields

locked, weapons ready. But they did not remain in strict, immutable formation. The legions had learned and adapted. Their

locked-shield phalanx broke into smaller, movable sections. Like deadly serpents, they undulated across the valley, bringing

death with every strike as they encircled pockets of wagons and groups of our warriors—closing on them, absorbing them, obliterating

them. Their long spears kept our chariots from breaking through their lines. Their shields kept our arrows from reaching them.

Maldwyn whipped our chariot around, heading toward a wagon and the dozen Romans who had formed a movable phalanx to attack it. On horseback, Comux, with his shield beside him and his Chief’s Guard following, thundered past us, making it to the wagons ahead of us. Maldwyn pulled Ennis and Finley up hard when a centuria of Romans closed a circle around the wagons and Comux—and cut every one of them down.

As Maldwyn drove our team back and away from that slaughter, I had time to look up at Cartimandua. Now! I wished I could shout above the cacophony of battle around me. Now is the time for you to signal your attack!

For a moment I felt a rush of relief as the sigil was caught in the same ray of sunlight that had illuminated Cartimandua

earlier. But she didn’t raise it. She just sat there staring down at the bloody valley. And then a second horse and rider

joined her. I could tell that it was a man and that he wore a cloak of Trinovantes scarlet. Trinovantes scarlet? My racing mind was having difficulty processing what I saw.

Cartimandua passed the sigil to the man, who moved his horse closer so that he could take it. As he did so sunlight flashed

on him and everything within me recoiled. Adminius, wearing the torque of a Brigantes chief, glared down at the valley in

which his people, his tribe, were being massacred. Adminius lifted the sigil and waved it over his head before he deliberately threw it to the ground.

Then he and Cartimandua turned as one and disappeared down the far side of the hill.

Cartimandua’s voice swirled in my mind. Tell me, how do you handle traitors?... I choose to kill traitors.

No Brigantes joined the battle. Not one warrior pressed the Romans from outside the valley to trap them between our armies.

I understood then what I later learned to be truth. The signal given to Cartimandua’s army was not to join us. It was their

sign to leave us to our deaths. The Brigantes queen hadn’t tired of the Romans. The Romans had lost interest in dealing with

a woman and had decided to usurp her throne and replace her with a man they could control. When banished Adminius fled to

Cartimandua, the queen seized the opportunity to maintain her rule by pretending to make him chief of the Brigantes—and then

together the two of them betrayed us and solidified their allegiance with Rome.

“To your right!” Maldwyn’s warning tore my attention back to the battle. A large group of Roman soldiers was bearing down on us, clearly attempting to cut us off from the rest of the army. I threw three spears quickly, one after another, striking only one man lethally. Locked shields repelled the rest. If not for the speed of Ennis and Finley, my battle would have ended there.

We raced back to the main group of chariots, now surrounded by our cavalry. Foot soldiers ran from the rear of the valley,

roaring tribal battle cries as they threw themselves over and over against the walls of scarlet-painted shields.

“What has happened?” Cadoc shouted as he and Abertha pulled to a halt beside us.

“Cartimandua betrayed us. Adminius was with her.” I jerked my chin up in the direction of where the traitors had been.

“Adminius!” Cadoc spat over the side of his chariot. “May he receive the death he deserves.”

“What now?” Abertha showed no sign of panic. Her steady gaze was filled with confidence in her queen. She simply waited for

me to answer the question.

Before I could respond, a wolf raced up to us—and then a second wolf joined him, followed by Briallen and my white-faced daughters.

“We could not get out of the valley,” Briallen said quickly.

“Go to the rear of the valley. Climb the hill! Even if you have to leave the horses, you must get the girls to safety.” I

was amazed my voice was steady. Seeing my daughters there within the killing field had me utterly terrified.

“We tried,” said Briallen. “Romans are on the ridges cutting down all who try to pass.”

“W-we’ll fight with you, Mama,” Enfys stuttered through lips blue with fear.

“Yes.” Ceri nodded. Her face was the color of old milk.

“Move! We must move!” Maldwyn shouted. “They’re targeting us, my queen!”

My gaze snapped back to the battlefield, where a large group of Roman cavalry charged toward us. Cadoc blew the carnyx and Iceni warriors shrieked our battle cry in response, rushing to stand between the Romans and me. With Cadoc and Abertha flanking me, and Briallen following with my girls and their wolves, our little group retreated.

“Follow me! Now!” Rhan’s voice, filled with authority, blasted at us. She sat astride Tan, who pranced in place, beckoning

us with a raised arm. Maldwyn responded immediately, turning our chariot toward the Druid. She wheeled Tan around and galloped

deeper into the rear of the field, heading to the dozen wagons that had sheltered us the night before.

The camp was deserted. I could only hope that Phaedra, Wulffaed, and her daughters had managed to escape. Rhan pulled Tan

up and slid off her before the mare had fully halted. She turned to face us and I saw nothing of my lover before me—only the

high Druid, though she no longer wore her distinctive white robes.

She wore a pair of my battle leathers. She’d rolled them up and belted them, as she was slight and slender and I was not.

And then with a jolt of shock I realized that she’d painted her arms to match mine. She’d tied on my spare set of shin and

forearm guards and even wore one of my older breastplates.

“Why are you dressed like this?” Even as the words slipped from me I already felt her answer deep within my battered spirit.

“I have prepared.” The high Druid repeated the familiar words to me. She strode to us. “We have little time. The battle is

lost. Cartimandua’s army has departed. We are betrayed. Queen Boudicca, if you remain here either you will be killed or you

will be captured, taken to Rome, and paraded through their streets before they execute you.”

“No, I—”

Rhan interrupted. “But they will not kill you until your child is born. Then the babe you carry will be torn from your arms

and dashed against a wall as you watch or allowed to live as a Roman pawn. Enfys and Ceri will be killed or imprisoned. They

might be sold into slavery after Rome has made a spectacle of them and murdered their mother.”

I tried to speak but my girls had moved their horses to me.

“Mama, we can never be taken by the Romans again,” said Enfys. She reached out and grasped Ceri’s hand. My youngest daughter had her lips pressed tightly together so that she made no sound as tears dripped down her pale cheeks. “We have decided. We would rather die.”

“Y-yes, Mama.” Ceri’s voice shook but her gaze never wavered. “W-we would r-rather die.”

I went to them and reached up, grasping their joined hands. “I will not allow a Roman to touch you. On that you have my oath.”

But am I capable of killing my own daughters, my babies? Unbidden, their screams lifted from my memory and it felt as if my heart suddenly pumped only ice for blood. I must prevent them from being brutalized again, but kill them? With my own hand?

“None of those things can be allowed to happen.” Maldwyn took my shoulders in his hands and turned me from my girls to face

him. “Listen to me. You must not be taken. Your children must not be taken. As long as you survive, hope survives.”

“Aye,” said Cadoc.

“Aye,” agreed Abertha.

“What must we do to save the bairns and Herself?” asked Briallen.

“We will give the Romans what they want—a battle against Queen Boudicca,” said Rhan as she strode to my chariot. “I must have

your cloak and your helmet, my queen. For this one day I shall be you.”

“And in doing so you mean to allow our queen to escape,” said Cadoc. “But how?”

“Queen Boudicca knows,” said Rhan as she met my gaze.

“Annwn.” I whispered the word.

There was shouting behind us. “The Romans are breaking through our lines. They’ve followed you,” said Abertha.

“We have no more time!” Maldwyn unclasped the cloak from around my shoulders. I noticed his hands shook, but his voice and

gaze were steady. “You must flee. Your helmet. Rhan needs your helmet.”

I understood. Rhan wanted me to go to the stream and escape through Annwn. The preparations she’d been making had been days

and days of offerings so that my children and I would be allowed to slip into the realm of the gods and granted our lives.

“No! Briallen, Abertha, Cadoc—take the girls,” I said. I felt as if I would explode with fear and anger and desperation. “Rhan will show you the entrance to Annwn. Maldwyn and I will return to the battle. I will not leave my people to die alone.”

“You will not change their fate by dying with them!” shouted Rhan.

“And it will not only be your death. It will also be the death of our child.” As Maldwyn spoke, tears streaked his blood-spattered

cheeks.

“You must come, Mama! You must!” Enfys stared at me with my mother’s eyes.

Ceri’s little-girl voice was steady. “Mama, if you come, we live. If you stay, we all die.” Then Andraste’s voice came from

her mouth, echoing the words she’d spoken to me once before so long ago. “You must choose.”

Cadoc jumped from his chariot and strode to me, kneeling when he reached me. “Queen Boudicca,” he said formally, his head

bowed. “As your shield it is my duty to advise and protect you. I advise you to follow the high Druid’s plan. And I shall

protect your retreat with my life.”

Abertha leaped from her chariot and knelt beside my shield. She bowed her head, so that the newly dyed woad horsetail on her

helmet swayed against her back. “You must live, my queen.”

Gently, Maldwyn took the helmet from my head. “As long as I draw breath, they will not get past me to you.”

“Aye, me as well!” Briallen added.

“No, no, no.” I shook my head. “You must all escape with me.”

“What we must do is distract the Romans,” said Rhan as Maldwyn fastened my cloak around her shoulders. She clasped my helmet

under her arm, and my two lovers approached me.

“Queen Boudicca, I ask you to live so that hope lives,” said the high Druid.

And then Maldwyn’s words broke me. “Boudicca, my queen and my only love. I ask you to live so that part of me survives.”

As if responding to Maldwyn’s voice, the child within me moved. Could I sentence my unborn babe to death? Chills bloomed across my skin. No. I could not, just as I could not cut my daughters’ throats, even to keep them from being violated.

“One of you must accompany me,” I said.

“Briallen,” said Cadoc with no hesitation. “She should go with you and the girls.”

“Aye,” said Abertha. Maldwyn and Rhan nodded.

I took Rhan and Maldwyn in my arms. I wanted to speak, to say something these two people I loved so deeply would take with

them as they faced their deaths, but my throat closed. I was afraid if I spoke, I would scream and scream and scream and never

stop. The three of us clung to one another. I tried to imprint their scents, their touch, on my mind and my body. When I released

them, I kissed one and then the other before I stared at each beloved face, memorizing... memorizing.

A roar came from behind us. Cadoc and Abertha jumped into their chariots. Maldwyn climbed into the cart, our cart, while Ennis and Finley snorted and stomped in anticipation. Rhan went to Tan, took her reins, and handed them to me.

“Ride fast. Ride far. Be free, my queen, my love.” She turned to Maldwyn, who took her hand and helped her into the cart beside

him. Her eyes remained on mine as Rhan strapped on my helmet.

As Maldwyn clucked to Ennis and Finley and wheeled the chariot around to go with Cadoc and Abertha back into the battle, the

air around them rippled, like steam lifting from a boiling cauldron. The illusion was strong. I watched myself race away.

Spear lifted and ready to strike, Queen Boudicca stood straight and proud beside her horse master and lover, drawing the attention

of every Roman in sight. The fighting shifted—followed them—moving away from us toward the other end of the field.

Briallen’s voice came from beside me. “Now, my queen. We have little time.”

Woodenly, I mounted Tan and dug my heels into her flanks. She shot forward, galloping past the deserted caravans. Sunne and Mona were blurs beside me. I could hear the pounding of hooves as Briallen and my daughters raced after me. We ran until the forest forced us to pull the horses down to a walk. It was too steep, too carpeted with brambles and underbrush. I began to despair of finding the little path Rhan and I had taken, and then Tan shifted to the left, climbed through a patch of sticky brambles, and came out of them onto the trail. I pulled her up and then nudged her off the path. Enfys was behind me, followed by Ceri. Briallen guarded our rear.

“Keep following this little trail,” I told Enfys. My elder daughter nodded and kneed her horse around me.

As Ceri passed she said, “You must come, Mama.”

“I will, little dove. Keep going. Follow Enfys.” Briallen reached me. “The trail takes us to a stream,” I explained. “From

there a rowan arch marks the entry to Annwn.”

My warrior nodded. Her face was so expressionless it seemed made of stone. “Do not make their sacrifice be for naught,” she

said.

“I will be right behind you. Stay with the girls.”

As Tan followed Briallen, I allowed myself to look back at the battlefield. Through the trees I could catch glimpses of the

fight, like how lightning illuminates only slivers of the night as it strikes.

My gaze couldn’t choose a place to settle. The battlefield had gone black with gore and rust with blood, soaking what had

been thick green grasses. I couldn’t make out individuals, only shapes. The sounds that drifted to us were terrible. Shrieking

horses. Screaming people. Cries for the goddess. Cries for mothers. My vision blurred with tears, and then a flash of color

lit the dreadful tableau.

My cloak.

The red of my horsetail helmet.

The flash of light off Maldwyn’s chariot.

The chariot seemed to freeze in time as a spear sliced into the scene, the only thing moving with normal speed. It skewered

Maldwyn through his neck, knocking him backward and out of the chariot.

Time sped up again. I saw Rhan reach for the reins and then she was swallowed by the chaos.

I opened my mouth to scream my grief, but no sound came from me.

Another color flashed across my gaze—another horsetail helmet, this one dyed woad blue. Abertha! I followed that proud slash of woad as she wove through the battlefield, throwing spear after spear, trying to reach the fighting into which Rhan’s chariot had disappeared. When the spears were gone, Abertha lifted her sword and sliced the enemy surrounding her.

The enemy that slowly, methodically closed the noose of soldiers around her.

The enemy that pulled her from the chariot, trampling the proud blue until it was no more.

I looked for Cadoc’s stag-horned helmet but did not see it. Was my shield already dead?

Pain tore my spirit, opening a crevice within me. Agony flowed with the blood of my people, soaking into this land I’d loved

so well and fought so hard to keep free. It poured into me, flooding my body, attempting to fill the yawning crevice. It could

not. My wound was too deep. No matter if I lived one day or many, I would carry the anguish of this battle, this loss, forever.

Tan turned one of the serpentine corners in the slender path, and the forest closed around me so that I could see no more

of the death of my people.

“Mama!” Ceri’s voice carried back to me. “We found the stream!”