Chapter 5 #3
His voice trails off as he looks around, then he closes the door briefly, letting out a sigh of relief before retrieving a plush, dark purple robe from a hook.
He lets go of my hand and drapes the robe over a chair, placing it within easy reach of the tub. I also notice stacks of towels and washcloths nearby.
Well. It would seem I have everything I need.
I dare another look at him, and I flush from head to toe at the hungry gleam in his eyes. Is he thinking about the fact that I’m about to strip my clothes off and step into the bath naked? I can’t sense his emotions at this moment, but I can read the lust in his eyes well enough.
He strokes a hand through my hair briefly, then turns to the bath.
He twists a knob and steaming water immediately starts pouring out.
I suppress a gasp. Once again, I have never seen anything like it.
I’ve heard traveling merchants talk about fanciful inns that contained running water, but I never thought I would one day experience such luxuries firsthand.
Merak clears his throat and gestures at the knobs attached to the tub.
“This knob is for hot water, and this one is for cold if you need to make the temperature a bit cooler.” He walks closer, so close I’m forced to crane my neck to meet his eyes.
“If you need anything, or have any questions, my dearest, just call out. I will be right outside the door. And as soon as you’re finished bathing, a hot meal will be waiting for you. ”
Tears burn in my eyes, and my throat tightens. I blink fast to keep from crying. Damn and blast. If he keeps being so nice to me, I might break down sobbing in front of him.
A bath. Clean towels. Warm food waiting for me afterward. A real bed with soft pillows to rest my head upon. Such simple things, and yet after the fear and hunger of the last fortnight, they feel unbearably precious.
The deserters kept me alive because I was useful to them. Merak, however, doesn’t just want to keep me alive. He truly cares whether I’m comfortable.
And that realization nearly undoes me.
Unable to hold his gaze for a moment longer, I turn away from him and stare down at the tub. “Thank you, Merak,” I whisper, but I can’t hide the tremor in my voice.
But he doesn’t question my emotional state, and I appreciate that he seems to understand I need space right now. He touches my shoulder briefly, a quick but gentle gesture, then departs the bathing room and shuts the door behind him, finally leaving me alone.
I remove my cloak and toss it into a hamper, careful to avoid catching another glimpse of myself in the mirror. I just can’t bear to look again. I sniffle as the tears start to fall, and my hands tremble as I unfasten the buttons on my dress.
After slipping off my boots, I push my stockings down and remove my tattered undergarments. I place them in the hamper and set the boots beside it. I suspect Merak plans to provide me with new everything, right down to new shoes.
As I peer at the different soaps and bath oils, I start to feel overwhelmed.
Back in Braemar, we used bars of plain soap that didn’t have much of a scent.
It did the job and kept us clean, though it often left my skin dry and itchy.
Sighing, I select one of the bottles at random and pour it into the steaming bath.
The pleasing aroma of lavender drifts up.
I adjust the temperature of the water to my liking, and once the tub is filled nearly to the brim, I turn the knobs until the water no longer pours from the spout.
Slowly, I step into the tub and sink down in the water, unable to stop the moan from escaping my lips. Gods. It feels decadent. The aches in my body gradually dissipate as I sink deeper in the water.
Eventually, I will take one of the washcloths and remove every speck of dirt from my body, as well as wash my hair, but at this moment all I want is to enjoy soaking myself in the warm, fragrant water.
Silent tears stream down my face, and I don’t bother trying to stop them.
After the events of the last fortnight, I need this emotional release.
I think of all the times I worried I might die, like the night the deserters killed the other humans from my group, the young males who managed to untie themselves and slip away.
As I watched them flee into the forest, I wondered why they didn’t take me along, but now that I think about it, I suppose they worried I might slow them down.
Or maybe they thought the deserters wouldn’t bother chasing them if they still had me.
Their reasons for leaving me behind really don’t matter now, especially since they are dead.
If they’d taken me with them, I might be dead too.
My thoughts continue to drift from one frightful event to another until my tears aren’t so silent anymore. Sobs wrack my body, and I lean forward and bury my face in my hands.
A knock sounds, and the door opens a crack.
I gasp and peer toward the crack, but I don’t see Merak looking in at me.
He’s not trying to catch a glimpse of my nudity.
Not that I could stop him if he wished to see me unclothed.
Not only is he my master, but he’s a huge, musclebound highborn fae male who could easily overpower me. If he wanted to.
“Gwen? Are you all right?”
“I… I’ll be fine. Please. I just need to be alone right now. Please, Merak.”
He’s silent for a few moments, and the door remains cracked. But eventually he replies, and his words fill me with relief.
“Very well. I will leave you alone, my dearest. But if you need anything, anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
Then the door clicks shut.
Alone again, I wonder whether it would be easier if Merak treated me with cruelty. Cruelty would be easier to understand, simpler to accept. It would certainly make hating him easier. Surely I should hate him just for being part of the army that conquered my people and killed thousands.
But this gentleness, this patience and tenderness he keeps showing me… well, it feels as though he’s already breaking down my defenses.
I’ve known him for just a day, yet a strange intimacy has begun to grow between us.
And I find myself fearing what will happen if I truly let him in.
The words he spoke while I stood on the auction platform keep replaying in my mind, and somehow, they soothe my frayed emotions, helping my tears finally dry up.
Be calm, human female. I am Lord Merak Blackthorne, and I won't hurt you. I will protect you. Always.