Chapter 11 #2
I still don’t know how we can find true happiness together, especially since I am considered his slave, but I’m allowing myself to feel hopeful. Maybe there’s a path for us that doesn’t involve heartache. A path that leads to a joyful life, one filled with love, adventure, and understanding.
Love?
I briefly tense in his arms. I shouldn’t even allow myself to think of that word right now.
I can’t claim I love him, for surely it’s too soon for that, but I do feel great amounts of affection for him.
I’m drawn to him in ways I still can’t fully grasp, but I hope that once we have that honest conversation we really, really need to have, the answers will become clearer to me.
My breathing finally steadies, and I become even more aware of Merak’s hardness beneath me, pressing against me through his trousers, the unmistakable evidence of his need for me, restrained but waiting.
My nervousness from earlier doesn’t return… but something bolder does.
A resurgence of heat affects my core, and my breath hitches as my fingers delve into his hair. I suddenly need something to hold onto, and I find myself almost yanking on his long, dark tresses.
Gods.
It would seem I’m becoming aroused all over again. I can’t help it. The feel of his hardness pressing against my bottom is enough to make me breathless.
And before I can overthink it, I shift, just enough for him to feel me, grinding myself down with deliberate intent. Testing him. Tempting him.
He places his lips at my ear and growls, a warning sound that sends another surge of quaking heat between my thighs.
I flush as I consider how slick I became as he lapped at my core, and how eager I’m becoming now.
I’m probably going to leave a wet spot on the front of his pants. My face grows even hotter.
I withdraw slightly from his arms and meet his eyes.
He studies my face, and I sense he’s searching my thoughts for any hint of reluctance.
Searching my thoughts…
I almost gasp. Almost.
You can truly sense my emotions, I say into his mind. My emotions, and my thoughts too. Gods, Merak. Why didn’t you tell me? For how long? Please don’t say for the entire time we’ve been together. Please say it’s only a recent development.
His gaze narrows for a moment, then flickers with amusement.
A second later, his voice resounds in my head, a steady, confident echo that vibrates through me as though he’s speaking aloud.
Ah. And here I thought I was the only one keeping secrets, he says.
If you know I can sense your emotions and thoughts, my dearest, then it means you can also detect mine.
Therefore, I could ask you the very same questions.
I push at his chest and scoff, though it’s more of an instinctual reaction to being challenged. I should be angry, yet in truth, I cannot summon a hint of fury toward him.
You first, I say down the tether, the tether that very well might be part of a mating bond… a bond we haven’t yet physically consummated. If we are mates.
He smirks. I started sensing your emotions on our first day together, but I could not detect your thoughts until more recently. I have only heard your exact thoughts a few times. Usually, it’s more like… fragments of your thoughts, or a general idea of what you are thinking.
He leans closer, and I swear he suddenly sends me a wave of command down the bond, as though trying to bend me to his will, as though trying to make sure that I’m honest with him in return.
Your turn, my dearest. Tell me when you started sensing my emotions and whether you can hear my exact thoughts.
Still holding his gaze, I lift my chin. “It’s the same for me.
I was able to sense your emotions early on, the very first day, and fragments of your thoughts came later.
I haven’t heard your exact thoughts yet, and I don’t like that you’ve heard mine a few times.
” I can’t bear to ask which precise thoughts he’s heard.
Like whether he just heard me thinking about love…
He cups the side of my face, and his eyes glimmer with warmth. “You know what this means, don’t you?”
Suddenly faint, I can’t even manage a nod. So, I just stare at him, waiting for him to announce the truth I already feel in my heart, the frightening yet somehow comforting truth of what we are to one another.
I’m terrified by the idea of belonging to a powerful, highborn fae lord and all it means.
It means he truly won’t ever let me go, not even if I spend the next few thousand years begging him for freedom.
My stomach flips.
If we consummate our union, that is how long I will live. For thousands of years. My lifespan will match his, whether our mating union is a happy one or not.
Yes, I am terrified, but I am also very attached to Merak. If we suddenly went our separate ways, I really would miss him. Not only that, but I would also mourn the loss of him. Yes, I think it would break my heart.
I remind myself that I trust him. Even though I’m scared of what belonging to him means, I trust that he won’t hurt me. I trust that he cares about me. I can easily sense the depth of his affection, an emotion so strong and pure that it makes my throat constrict.
Merak shifts his hands into my tresses and leans closer.
In response, I tighten my hold on his hair.
As we stare into one another’s eyes, I try to come to terms with what he’s about to tell me.
I sense he’s finally ready to reveal the truth, but he’s choosing his words carefully.
I pull my mind back from his briefly, wanting to give him the space to think, hoping that when I need space in a similar way, he will be quick to grant it.
His stare grows more intense, and his eyes darken.
He draws in a deep breath, preparing to announce what we are to one another, the way our lives will forever be entwined. Not just our lives, but our very souls.
“We are fated mates, my dearest.”
He leans his forehead against mine, and I exhale a shuddering breath as the truth settles over me.
We are mates.
I am fated to belong to a highborn fae lord from the Winter Court, a male who should by all rights be my enemy.
A male who is technically my master…
But his words from earlier abruptly echo in my head, bringing me much-needed comfort… words he spoke directly into my mind.
You need not fear anything, my dearest. You are mine, just as I am yours. What we are about to do is just the beginning of the intimacy that is already growing between us. Trust me to give you what you need. Trust me to take care of you.