37. Rose
ROSE
Pain lances through my chest like air is trapped beneath my ribs and fighting to claw its way out with shards of glass.
I gasp raggedly and my eyes snap open, only to be blinded by bright light that forces them closed instantly.
Sharp beeps go off beside me, and a sudden restriction around my chest draws another gasp.
Warmth brushes the back of my hand and I snatch my hand away in a panic, fearing Mathew or something much worse as I force my eyes open once again.
Not Mathew.
Ethan.
He stands at my bedside with a kindly smile on his tired face.
Bags cling under his eyes and his arm rests in a sling with a fresh bandage peeking out from his shirt and creeping up his neck.
Bracing both hands down on the soft mattress, I attempt to push myself up into a sitting position, but Ethan moves forward and presses his hand lightly to my shoulder.
"Easy," he murmurs, the sound more of a rumble than anything else. "Take it easy."
"Where—"I croak out.
"Home," Ethan replies.
"M-My…" It comes back to me in a hot rush, like fire tearing through my thoughts and I screw up my eyes with a wince.
My mom motionless on the floor. Beatie, Mathew and the gun, then Kon's face above me like some angelic arrival to say goodbye.
I survived?
When I unscrew my eyes, Ethan's sitting beside my bed and he flashes me a soft smile once more. "I knew as soon as I persuaded Kon to take a breather, you would wake up," he says. "It's like some kind of law, I think."
I glance around the room, focusing on the familiar walls, the wooden panels on the door and the blue sky outside.
Curtains drift faintly in the breeze that curls through the open window, and when I breathe in, the scents of the flowers outside fill my lungs.
"What happened?" Finding my voice is hard.
"Kon will explain," Ethan says. "He wants to talk to you."
I sink back down into my pillow slightly and look down at myself, but whatever is tight across my chest is hidden by my gown. So I look back at Ethan. "Are you okay?"
Ethan nods. "Ripped a few stitches punching a guy. You know how it is."
Who did he punch?
My brows furrow but before anything else can pass my lips, the door flies open and Kon hurries into the room with panic in his eyes.
It fades slightly when he sees me and his steps slow, but from the rapid rise of his chest he was clearly running.
As Ethan stands, I glimpse him pocketing his phone.
"Boss." Ethan greets him with a nod and they exchange places. The door closes softly behind Ethan while Kon moves and perches on the edge of my bed, staring at me like he hasn't seen me in months.
The weight of his gaze is painful and after a few seconds, I'm forced to look away so I can catch my breath.
"What do you remember?" Kon's voice is gentle and calm, a far cry from the yelling memory in my mind. I think that's the first time I've ever heard him raise his voice not in anger.
"I… I'm not sure," I croak, gently smacking my lips together.
Without a word, Kon rises and moves to the edge of the room where he pours me a cup of water and returns to my side.
As he hands it to me, his hand lingers and our fingers brush with a spark of heat that instantly ignites the dormant guilt in my chest.
"Mathew shot you," Kon says and his voice trembles as he sits.
"One bullet bounced off your ribs and came to a stop in the muscle.
The other clipped your gut and ended up in your liver.
You have been unconscious for a week, but your recovery has been strong.
I feared…" He stops himself briefly. "I feared you would not wake up.
The doctor told me it was normal with the stress and blood loss, but I still feared you would not wake up. "
He doesn't speak like he hates me, which is odd because I can't imagine him harboring any other feelings for me. Not anymore.
Lifting the cup to my lips, I focus on the cool water as it washes over my dry tongue and soothes the scratchy burning in my throat.
A few mouthfuls later, I lower it and finally look back at Kon.
He's still watching me with that same burning intensity and he leans forward slightly.
"The baby is okay too," he says.
I freeze and the machine next to me audibly betrays the lurch in my heart. Kon glances at it and then back to me.
"You…" I cough softly. "You know about the baby?"
"Yes," Kon replies. "I do."
"Oh."
Oh?
That's really all I can say?
Far too many questions rush up at once, but Kon seems one step ahead of me as he continues to speak.
"You do not need to worry about your family. Your mother is recovering well. It seems Mathew was keeping her sedated, but my team has given her a thorough examination, and she is doing well. As is your sister. She has spent the past week bending over backward to apologize to Calvin."
My heart lurches once more. "Calvin's alive?!"
"Yes. It was touch-and-go for a while, but he is alive and recovering well. I believe he wishes to speak to you when you are up for it."
"Oh that's… thank god." Relief comes with a sudden wave of exhaustion as I take in everything Kon is telling me. Two bullets that somehow didn't kill me, a family that's alive and recovering, and Calvin is alive.
If this is a dream, then it's a really good dream.
"Did Calvin… tell you about the baby?" Between Calvin and Mathew knowing, I pray the information came from someone trustworthy.
"Yes," Kon replies softly. "He told me. As for Mathew… you do not need to fear him any longer. He is dead."
The word somehow echoes louder than anything else Kon has told me, and I stare at him with wide eyes. "Dead?"
"Your sister grappled the gun from him after you were shot and she killed him.
I shot him too in the interest of sparing her the knowledge that she killed someone, but I thought you would prefer to know the truth.
I have assigned her a therapist as well to deal with not only that, but everything else. "
This makes no sense. Why is Kon doing all of this? By rights, he should have left me to die in that house and cursed my entire family along with me.
"Why?" I croak out as tired tears leak into my eyes. "I don't understand."
Kon's brow pinches. "I thought it would be kinder on your sister if she believed I killed him."
"No, not that." Shaking my head, I briefly close my eyes but I don't have the energy to wipe the tears away. "Why am I here? Why did you save me? Why didn't you just let me die where I belonged?"
Kon's frown deepens and suddenly his hand covers mine. "You did not belong there."
"Yes I did! After everything I did to you, how can you even stand to be near me?
I lied about everything just to save my family and it barely even worked.
And in the end, they suffered anyway because I fell in love with you and I didn't want to hurt you.
How can you even stand to touch me?" I pull my hand away as a weak sob lifts through my chest. "You should hate me, no matter how sorry I am.
I lied to you every day and you were only ever kind to me. I took advantage of you—"
"Stop," Kon says gently.
"I took advantage and hurt you. I hurt everyone because I wasn't fast enough but even that is fucked because being faster would have meant doing something so horrific to you that—"
"Stop," Kon repeats and he moves up my bed, retaking my hand in his. "Rose. Darling. Take a breath for me."
The sweet pet name is enough to end my grief-riddled tirade and I gasp through my tears, finally looking up at him.
"I do not hate you. I do not even blame you. Admittedly… I struggled at first. When the truth came out and I found out the true reason that you were even here, I feared that everything was a lie. That what I felt for you was false and what you felt for me was just a performance."
A tremble rumbles through me from head to toe and I grit my teeth together to swallow another weak sob.
"But I was soon reminded that even though you came here for a reason, what we shared together remains real.
The fun we had together. The laughter. The long conversations.
The shared passions and love of food. Everything I admire and love about you is still you, Rose.
You are real and that is what I fell in love with.
And you are right. You fought against your captors every step of the way.
Calvin told me that you kept the pregnancy a secret because you feared for my safety.
That alone tells me that despite the horror that brought you here, the realness of who you are as a person and how deeply you care is true. "
I hiccup and my free hand darts up to my lips.
"What they put you through? The torture and the torment and then the task of coming here under threat of harm to your family?
You are stronger than half the men who walk these halls.
Your dedication to your family is to be greatly admired, and your determination to save all of them, myself included, is something I will forever be grateful to be in the presence of. And do you know what it tells me?"
Every gentle, understanding word is like a small blade against my skin, but the warmth with which he talks doesn't allow space for any pain.
"No," I whisper.
"It tells me that you are the strongest person I have ever met and that you are going to be a truly amazing mother if you decide to keep this baby."
My eyes widen and more tears spill unhindered down my cheeks. "I-I don't understand. How are you not angry? Back… back in the kitchen, when you left, I was so sure you were furious? How can you sit there and not hate me?"
"I was hurt, yes," Kon admits and his gaze falls to our hands.
"I will not deny the pain or the doubt that entered my mind.
In the end, I think I owe Ethan a pay raise for how often he lets me talk things out with him.
I came to realize that, despite your initial goal here, there were infinite ways you could achieve it, and you chose to come at me like a real person.
You got to know me. We had fun together.
You even threw yourself into helping me unearth a traitor.
You spent so long fearing the truth that you did not realize you had earned my trust and love through everything that makes you who you are.
Your warmth and your grace, your understanding, and even your desire to protect Calvin when I let my anger get the better of me. "
I must have died.
I've died and gone to a forgiving heaven that I don't deserve.
"I…" My hand slides down to my chest. "I don't know what to say."
"You do not need to say anything," Kon replies. "Just know that I mean it when I say I love you. Because I do. I love everything about you and I am here to support you in whatever you decide about the baby."
My brows knit together. "The baby?"
Kon nods. "I understand they drilled it into you, getting pregnant.
If that is not what you want, then I will support that.
I will also help you find a therapist you are comfortable with so you can talk to someone and work through everything those bastards put you through.
If you need time then I will give you all the time in the world.
" His hand tightens briefly over mine. "I am just thankful you are alive. "
I tear my gaze away as a stunned numbness settles over my shoulders.
Is it really over? Mathew is dead. Kon is beyond understanding, likely because my sister and my mom would have had horror stories of their own to share with him about those brothers.
He even talks as if he's willing to give up on being a father, despite how I know deep down he wants to be.
"You don't hate me?" I whisper, turning my attention back to him.
"No, Rose. I do not. The only person I am angry with is myself for not seeing that you were in pain. I was blinded and for that, I am sorry."
As my lips part to assure him that he shouldn't blame himself, something strikes me about all the details he's given me since I woke up.
He knows about the baby.
Mathew and his family are dead.
My mom and sister are here being helped.
So where is my dad?
"Kon?"
"Yes?"
"You said… you said my mom is here."
"Yes."
"And my sister."
"Correct."
"But not my dad? Beatie kept telling me that he left, that he abandoned them. I don't think he would do that. He was terrible at times but he wouldn't leave like that. If Mathew is dead, then how are we going to find him?"
Kon's entire expression slowly shifts from one of warmth to one of complete pain.
He glances down at our joined hands and his brows lightly knit together, then he looks back up at me.
Sadness rests in his eyes and when he speaks, it's low and slow as if he can somehow reduce the impact of his words by speaking softly.
"Rose. Ethan and I found your father."
The world falls away into silence, muting the birds outside and the machine beeping next to me.
Kon's next words are delivered just as softly, but they cut through my silence like a beacon, and my aching heart crumbles into a hundred pieces before he's even finished speaking.
"Rose, I am so sorry. Your father has passed away."