Chapter 16 #5
“Bullshit,” Drew said mildly. “It’s a masterpiece. And it’s breaking my heart.”
I looked away, unable to meet his gaze. “It’s just wolves running. Nothing heartbreaking about that.”
“It’s them leaving you behind,” Drew corrected gently. “And you letting them go.”
I didn’t deny it. Couldn’t deny what was so clearly depicted on the canvas before us.
“They’ll be back,” Drew said after a moment. “They always come back to you.”
“This time,” I agreed, wiping my hands on a rag. “But eventually, they’ll realize the mate bond is just… biology. Chemistry. Not real feelings. And then they’ll stop coming back.”
Drew was quiet for so long that I finally looked up, surprised to find him staring at me with something like pity.
“You really believe that, don’t you?” he asked softly. “That they only want you because of some mystical wolf mojo?”
I shrugged, aiming for nonchalance and probably missing by a mile. “It’s the truth. The mate bond forces compatibility, creates attraction. It’s not… real.”
“And what about before the Augury?” Drew challenged. “What about all those years they watched over you, protected you? Was that the bond too?”
I blinked, caught off guard by the question. “That was… different. They were just being protective. I was the baby of the family.”
Drew snorted. “Yeah, that’s why Cade nearly took some guy’s head off at that party your senior year for looking at you too long.
That’s why Logan used to sit outside your door when you had nightmares.
That’s why Keir turned down an internship in London because it would mean leaving you for six months. ”
I stared at him, trying to process this information. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about three alpha werewolves who have been acting strange around you for years,” Drew said, his voice gentle but firm. “The Augury just put a name to something that’s been building for a long time.”
“That’s… that’s just the mate bond forcing them,” I insisted, the familiar ache settling in my chest. “It’s biology, not… not real feelings. Not for them.”
Drew studied me for a moment, something like frustration crossing his features. “You really believe that, don’t you? That they only want you because of some supernatural compulsion they can’t control?”
I shrugged. “What else could it be? They’re alphas. I’m their fated mate. They’re just… responding to biological imperatives. Following the script nature wrote for them.”
“And what about you?” Drew asked quietly. “Is that all this is for you too? Just biology?”
“No,” I admitted softly, the truth I’d carried for years slipping out despite my best efforts. “But that’s different.”
“How is it different?” Drew challenged.
“Because I’ve loved them since before any mate bond existed,” I said, the words painful to voice. “I loved them when I thought they could never be mine. When I was just the annoying little brother they had to tolerate.”
Drew’s expression softened. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe?—”
“Don’t,” I cut him off, unable to bear whatever false hope he was about to offer. “Please. I know what this is. What I am to them. Their responsibility. Their duty. Their fated mate that biology says they have to want.”
“Finn—”
“It’s fine,” I insisted, turning back to my painting to hide the emotion I knew was written across my face. “Really. I’ve made my peace with it.”
A lie, and we both knew it. But Drew was kind enough not to call me on it.
“Just… don’t make assumptions about what they’re feeling,” he said after a moment. “Or why they’re feeling it.”
He left me there, surrounded by the scent of paint and the image of three wolves running away from me.
His words echoed in my mind, not comforting but unsettling.
Don’t make assumptions. But wasn’t the truth obvious?
Three perfect alpha werewolves suddenly wanting me after years of treating me like a little brother, right after a ceremony that declared me their mate?
What else could it be but the mate bond forcing compatibility where none naturally existed?
Looking at the canvas with new eyes, I traced the outline of the wolves I’d painted. I’d loved them for so long it felt like part of my identity. Loving them. Wanting them. Knowing I could never have them, not really. Not in the way I wanted.
And now I had them—their touches, their kisses, their desire—but only because of supernatural biology that gave them no choice in the matter. It was a cruel joke, getting everything I’d ever wanted but knowing it wasn’t real. That they wouldn’t choose me without the mate bond forcing them.
If I could shift, could run with them, could be what they needed—would it make a difference? Would it ever be enough to overcome the fundamental truth that they were bound to me by magic, not choice?
The question lingered, unanswered, as I cleaned my brushes and put away my supplies. Outside, the sun climbed higher in the sky, and somewhere in the forest, three wolves ran with the freedom I couldn’t share. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
I found myself in an uncomfortable limbo—loving them completely while believing they could only want me because of the mate bond. Taking what I could get while I could get it. Memorizing every touch, every kiss, every moment of belonging to sustain me when this inevitably ended.
When they returned—and they would return—I would pretend not to see the duty in their eyes. Would pretend, just for a little while longer, that what we had could be real.
Even knowing it was just a beautiful lie.