Chapter Four
London
I run my finger over the small, angry welt on his brow and frown. “I don’t understand why he hit you.”
Mason shrugs. “Because he can.”
I exhale and reach for the first-aid kit next to me. Slowly, I dip a piece of cotton in some disinfectant. I hold my breath and press it against his wound, but Mason doesn’t react.
Knowing he’s surrounded by ruthless and cunning enemies is one thing.
Seeing how volatile his father is leaves a bad taste in my mouth and an ache in my chest.
I was up half the night tossing and turning as Mason slept soundly next to me.
How can he be okay with having a father like that?
Based on everything you know about him, does it seem like he has a choice? He probably doesn’t know any better.
It makes me miss my father with a fierceness that surprises me.
In spite of everything he’s put me through, I want to put it all behind me.
I want to believe we can still be in each other’s lives even if he’s turned his back on me.
He hasn’t abandoned you for good. He wouldn’t.
A hard knot settles in the center of my stomach as I turn the thought over and over in my head, growing sadder and sadder with each passing moment.
I miss my father’s Sunday morning pancake-and-egg breakfast while we sat in the backyard, talking about everything.
I miss camping under the stars and him showing me how to trace the constellations.
I miss family movie night when the three of us built a fort in the living room and hid inside and watched movies until the sun came up.
Tears spring to my eyes as it dawns on me how much I’ve left behind, and how much has been taken from me.
The longer I stay with Mason, the more I realize how little I know of his world.
Mason takes my hand in his. “It’s not as bad as it looks. I’m fine.”
I sniff and continue cleaning the wound. “I know.”
Mason’s fingers close around my wrist, and he tugs me onto his lap. Then he cups my face in his hands and waits for me to look at him. “What’s wrong?”
I avoid his gaze. “Nothing.”
“I thought we agreed we wouldn’t lie to each other,” Mason murmurs. “You can tell me.”
I meet his eyes. “Can I?”
“You’ve got the heart of a lion. The way you stand up for yourself, and the fact that you’re still here… you can tell me anything.”
I blow out a breath. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Mason found his way into my heart against all odds and repeated warnings, and I have no one to blame but myself for not heeding the signs when I could have.
Mason’s hands drop to my waist, and he presses his forehead to mine. “It won’t always be this hard. This life, I mean, and missing how everything could’ve been.”
My chest tightens at the ache in his voice. “I hope you’re right.”
Mason moves back to look at me, and the soft glimmer in his eyes makes me melt. “I know this isn’t the life you imagined for yourself, but I will do my damnedest to make sure you know how lucky I am to have you.”
Someone knocks on the door, and Mason scowls.
Slowly, and with a great deal of reluctance, he sets me on my feet and moves to the door.
He blocks the view, so I can’t see who’s there, but I recognize Carlisle’s voice.
There’s a whispered conversation, and then Mason turns around, holding a gun in his hand.
He crosses over to me. “Do you know how to use a gun?”
I shake my head.
“Katia will teach you.” Mason shows me how to turn the safety on before handing it to me, the cold steel feeling strange against my flesh. “This is just in case you need to use it. You shouldn’t ever have to.”
I hold it awkwardly away from my body. “Right.”
Mason runs a hand over his face. “I’m going to take a shower and go. There’s a lot of damage control that has to be done after what happened.”
Gingerly, I set the gun on the nightstand and turn to face him. “You said you’ve all had a partnership for years. I’m sure one bad night won’t change that.”
At least I hope it won’t.
If what Mason said is true, the people who kidnapped me are the least of our problems.
There are a lot more dangerous allies lurking in the shadows, and everything is held together by a thread.
One spark is all it’ll take to set the whole thing on fire, and I can’t understand why anyone would risk getting caught in the crosshairs.
Mason pulls me into his arms for a rough kiss.
I thread my fingers through his hair, but before I can deepen the kiss, he releases me and steps into the shower. He peels off his clothes and shoots me a heated look. After a brief hesitation, I glance at the gun on the nightstand. Then I hurry in after him, the bathroom already steaming up.
Mason doesn’t waste any time when I slide the curtain behind me and turn to face him.
Sometime later, when he leaves, I perch on the edge of the bed and link my fingers together. I toss glances at the gun and ignore the hammering in my chest. Finally, I pry an empty drawer open and shove it there.
Katia is in her usual spot against the door when I come out, only this time she’s admiring her blade, bright sunlight dancing off the smooth silver. She doesn’t say anything when I step in front of her and clear my throat.
“I want to go check on my dad, and before you say no again, I have a proposition.”
She doesn’t say anything.
“I will try not to make it hard for you to keep me safe at the house and anywhere else I have to go if you let me go.”
Katia snorts. “I don’t care if you make it hard for me.”
My heart jumps into my throat. “You can come with me to see my dad.”
“Why would I want to do that?”
“So you can tell Mason that you tried to stop me, and just in case things go sideways.”
Katia stops examining her blade to look at me. “So far, I don’t see how any of this benefits me.”
I throw my hands up. “I’ll put in a good word for you with Mason.”
Katia curls her lips in disgust, and I resist the urge to step back.
“Let’s get something clear here, Barbie.
I don’t need you to put in a good word for me.
I’ve been around a lot longer, and I’ll be around long after this whole thing blows over and you’re either collateral damage or on the run for your life. ”
Her words feel like I’ve been stabbed through the heart.
But I know she’s not wrong about my odds of staying, assuming I even survive Mason’s cutthroat world long enough to run for the hills.
Katia is a constant in his life, and I will always wonder if he’ll go back to her out of familiarity when things get too hard and too emotional with me.
Being with Katia doesn’t endanger the empire or put him on the receiving end of his father’s wrath.
What did you think was going to happen? Mason warned you this wasn’t the kind of world you came from, and you stayed anyway.
Every survival instinct I have tells me I can still leave and forge a life for myself away from this, but the thought of leaving Mason doesn’t sit well with me.
It’s unthinkable.
I can’t bear the thought of being away from him, even if it means the path ahead is anything but smooth.
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “Maybe you’re right, and maybe you’re not. Either way, agreeing will make your job a little easier. At the very least, you can earn brownie points with Mason when you tell him I’ve snuck out.”
“Fine,” Katia says. “If it’ll get me out of this conversation, let’s go.”
“What, just like that?”
Katia shoots me a withering look. “Do you want me to change my mind? Let’s go.”
With that, she steps to the side and makes a sweeping hand gesture. Together, we descend the stairs and past rows of closed doors, past the kitchen staff, and to a door in the back. She sticks her head out first, then motions to me.
Katia waves to some of the men posted on guard, and they barely spare me a glance.
When we get into a silver sedan, parked next to a row of other expensive-looking cars in the driveway, I hold my breath and stare at the gates.
Slowly, they creak to life, and we drive through.
Katia keeps both eyes on the road and ignores me as the world outside rushes past in a blur of shapes and colors.
At the traffic light, she taps her fingers against her thighs impatiently.
I press my face against the glass and try to calm my racing heart.
I know Katia isn’t doing this out of kindness.
If anything, she’s probably hoping I get kidnapped again, so she can be rid of me, but I’m still thankful to her for agreeing.
I’ve never gone this long without seeing my dad, and not being able to talk to him drives me crazy.
Regardless of how things are between us, I need him to know that I love him.
A lump rises in my throat as I focus on the car next to us and see an older man with salt-and-pepper hair tapping the wheel. He turns to the little girl next to him, and the two exchange a smile full of love and mischief. My heart aches as I look away and blink back the tears.
Katia huffs. “Get a grip. There are people out there who don’t have families.”
“I know.”
She shoots me a look. “You have no idea how lucky you are.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat and shove my hair out of my eyes. “I liked it better when you were threatening to kick my ass.”
Katia scoffs. “Yeah, well, I’m only giving you this advice because if you start crying, I’ll have to throw you out of the car.”
I cross my arms over my chest and give her a scowl.
The traffic light turns green. She presses down on the gas, and the car lurches forward with a screech. Katia says nothing as we take a series of turns, venturing deeper into the city.
Eventually, the tall metal buildings give way to two-story Victorians with manicured lawns and gravel driveways.
Katia stops in front of my parents’ house.
She turns off the engine and turns to face me with a frown.
Her eyes sweep over my face, and the gleam in her eyes leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I stiffen and wait for the next blow, but it never comes.