Chapter 17 #2
“No, at least I don’t think so. Life was good just as it was…
until Pete came to live with us.” Paula stopped speaking and grabbed the crystal glass from Jose.
Tilting her head back, she swallowed the rest of the drink and then handed it back.
“I was nine, and excited to have a big brother. Nervous, but excited. But it didn’t last. It didn’t take long for Pete to show me the kind of person he really was. ”
A small shudder made Paula’s body shake. Jose placed a large hand on the back of her neck and leaned in close. Mickey shifted in her chair and glanced away, feeling like an intruder. She had brought this into their house, but she had to. Paula could be the key to finding Becca.
Paula shared her story, ending by saying, “I cried and kicked and tried to scream, but he covered my mouth with his hand and pressed me against the bed. He was fifteen.”
Shock and disgust made all the words in Mickey’s head disappear. She’d known it’d be bad, but not this. Her stomach muscles clenched and she fought the urge to run out of the house. She didn’t want to hear anymore. Didn’t want to know everything this poor woman endured at such a young age.
“I’m so sorry, Paula.” The words were small and so damn insignificant. Forcing herself to continue, she asked, “How long did this go on?”
Paula snorted. “It’s never really stopped.
I’d threaten to tell on him and he’d laugh at me…
just laugh and tell me no one would believe me.
He said Robert would leave us and my mom and I would be tossed on the street.
I believed him for a while, and every night I’d pray he wouldn’t come in my room.
After a year, things got worse. He started…
like I said it was worse. I finally told my mom. ”
“Did she believe you?” Mickey asked in a whisper.
“Yes, and so did Robert. Pete had been having other issues, but they were horrified when I told them what he’d been doing to me. Robert begged my mom to let him handle it, and she agreed. She thought he could get through to him.” Paula’s voice shook and she bit into her top lip. “He couldn’t.”
Jose stood and linked his fingers behind his head as he paced back and forth behind the couch. Mickey’s gaze followed him as she asked, “How long did you stay in the house with him?”
“For another year. My mom even slept in my room with me, but he’d always find a way to get me alone.
Nothing stopped him. Robert continued to beg my mom not to call the authorities, it would ruin the rest of his life, so we left.
We were both crushed to lose Robert, but at that point I think my mom had fallen out of love with him. ”
Mickey refocused on Paula. “So then it stopped?”
Paula’s small mouth curved into a half smile and she shook her head.
“Like I said, it’s never really stopped.
He always found us. No matter how far away we moved or where we went, he’d show up.
My mom would report it, but no one ever saw him so nothing could be done.
I’ve spent my entire life looking over my shoulder, holding my breath, waiting for him to show up.
To ruin the life I’d built by tormenting me.
He’s smart, and we both know if he ever touched me again I’d call the police in a heartbeat.
But he likes to get inside my head, to remind me any way he can of the past.”
She glanced up at Jose and caught his hand as he walked behind her.
“And then I met Jose. He’s the first person to make me feel safe, protected.
We decided to move to Mexico a few years ago and get a fresh start.
I’ll never forget what Pete did to me, but at least I can sleep at night knowing he’ll never find me again. ”
A weight dropped in Mickey’s stomach. A beat of silence passed and she hated herself for what she was about to do, for shattering Paula’s illusion of safety. “Um, do you know he’s been spending time in Playa Del Carmen?”
Paula’s head whipped around to Jose, but his wide eyes searched Mickey’s. His brow furrowed and Paula’s muffled sobs tore Mickey’s heart in two. “How do you know? Where is he? I’ll kill him if he comes near her.” A flash of hate sparked in his eyes, and Mickey believed him. Hell, she’d help him.
A heaviness fell over Mickey the minute she walked out of Paula’s house.
She climbed into the waiting cab and sunk into the tough material of the worn seat.
She pressed a hand to her stomach to quell the bile from sloshing around.
She’d brought Pete into Becca’s life, and there was no telling what horrors awaited her if Mickey couldn’t find her.
Her mind spun in a million different directions, leaving her dizzy. She leaned her head against the seat and her gaze focused on the palm trees flitting past her window as the cab sped along toward her hotel. The constant flash of green leaves and brown trunks only made her dizziness worse.
How could she not have seen who Pete really was?
How had she let his easy smile and quick wit slip through her defenses?
My God, she’d let him in her bed. The bile moved from her stomach and up her throat.
She pressed her hand to her mouth to keep it from escaping.
The last thing she needed was for her cab driver to toss her out for making a mess.
Pressure built in her chest and tears built in her eyes.
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried as hard as she could to block it all out.
To block out the pain, and the guilt, and the utter revulsion of what she’d done.
Instead, she closed her eyes and she pictured Becca.
If they couldn’t find her goddaughter, Mickey would never be able to forgive herself.