Chapter 6
Chapter
Six
SOFIYA
I remain awake the rest of the night, waiting for Mikhail to come to me. I shouldn’t want that. I should be happy he has Irina to take his darker desires out on. But I can’t stop thinking about them in that room together. What are they doing? Why wouldn’t Mikhail allow me to stay?
And why do I care so much?
After about an hour, Mikhail finally shows up in our room. He stops when he sees me sitting up in bed.
“You’re still awake,” he says.
“I couldn’t sleep. Not after everything.”
He nods once and begins to undo the buttons on his shirt. It amazes me how cool, calm, and collected he is. He’s acting like he didn’t just whip Irina in front of me and make her orgasm.
“What did you and Irina do that I couldn’t see?” I blurt out.
“I had to comfort her. Make sure she was ok. I do that after every session.” He keeps his eyes on me as he says this—not hiding anything.
“What does comfort mean exactly?”
“I hold her and make sure she’s all right. Then she gets dressed and goes home. Nothing else.” He slides his shirt off, and I have to look away. His body is too much right now. For a man in his forties, he’s kept himself in really good shape. It’s overwhelming. All of this would be so much easier if he were ugly. If he were Boris. I could hate Boris.
I’m not sure I can hate Mikhail.
Even though I have every reason to. He took me from my home. He made me leave my sisters. He made me marry him when I didn’t want to. I should absolutely despise Mikhail.
“Why do you comfort her? She liked what you were doing to her. Why comfort her?”
“Because that’s how those things go,” he says, sliding into bed with me. I can feel the heat radiating from his body. Intoxicating. “Yes, Irina enjoys pain, but I have to make sure I didn’t hurt her too much. That’s never my desire. I like to push my subs to their limit, but I never go over.”
“Have you had a lot of … subs?” The word feels foreign on my tongue.
“I have. Irina is the one who has stuck, though. But I don’t just entertain women as subs. Some women I just like to fuck and call it a night.”
I flinch. “You’re so crass about it.”
“No. I’m honest about it. Wouldn’t you prefer me to be honest?”
“I guess.” I just wish he wasn’t so honest about it. Some things I think I’m better off not knowing.
He sighs as he lies down, resting his arm behind his head. It makes his bicep flex and look even bigger. I gulp. Mikhail’s body does things to me, confusing me. “Now, it’s your turn to be honest. How did it make you feel seeing me do that to Irina?”
“I hated it,” I say on instinct.
“I asked for honesty, Sofiya. You will be mine in every way. I need to know your limits so I can push them.”
“I was honest. I hated seeing you with her.” I feel his eyes boring into the side of my face, but I don’t dare look at him. “I don’t want you to be with another woman like that.”
“Fair enough. But I am a man of needs, and I’ll expect things from you. Are you willing to give me what I need?”
I don’t think I’ll ever be willing. “I’m not sure,” I admit.
He’s silent for a moment. “What else did you feel? Other than jealousy.”
“I’m not jealous,” I say quickly, glancing at him.
He raises an eyebrow, which only makes him look more handsome. I can feel it all the way between my legs. “You’re not?”
“Would you get jealous if a man did that to me?”
“I would. And no other man will ever do that to you.” His words have a chill to them that sends a shiver over me.
Mikhail’s possessiveness is intriguing. It makes me want to lean in closer to him. Have him comfort me . Not Irina.
“I was … I couldn’t look away,” I finally say. “But I don’t think I liked it. I don’t want you to whip me.”
“I won’t. It’s clear you won’t enjoy pain the way Irina does. But I am going to push you, Sofiya. When you’re ready. It’s good you’re asking me questions.”
“It is?”
“Yes.” His fingers skim up and down my arm. I hold still, not even breathing. “It means you’ll be ready soon. Now, let’s go to sleep. It’s been a long night.”
It has. I draw the blanket up high around my face and turn away from Mikhail. I don’t think I have it in me to face him again. Everything is happening so fast, and there’s no way for me to slow it down.
When I wake back up, I find myself pressed up against Mikhail’s back. I quickly turn away from him.
“You didn’t have to move.” His voice makes me sit up, my heart pounding.
“Sorry.” I get out of bed and hurry to the closet. I need to get out of this flimsy nightgown and into real clothes. I need something to protect myself against Mikhail.
He joins me in the closet again, but this time, he doesn’t dress me. He just keeps his eyes on me as he changes into a suit. I avert my eyes when he drops his pajama pants and slips into his slacks.
“You can look you, you know,” he says.
“I … can’t.”
When I look back, he’s fully dressed. Why does he have to look so good in a suit? My body tightens at the sight of him in a white shirt, navy jacket, and slacks.
“Aren’t you going to change?” he asks.
“Yes.” I grab a blue dress and another bra and underwear set. I stare at Mikhail, and he stares back. It’s only after a few seconds pass I realize he’s not going to move. He’s going to stand there and watch me change.
With a big gulp and a sigh, I let my nightgown fall down my body. Though I keep my eyes down, I can feel Mikhail’s gaze on me as I put on my bra and underwear. He doesn’t try touching me again. For some reason, I’m slightly disappointed.
Just slightly.
Only after I slip on my dress and heels does Mikhail finally leave.
And he does so without a backward glance.
I’m confused as I head down for breakfast. Mikhail wants me. He’s made that very clear. And yet, sometimes, he acts like he doesn’t want anything to do with me. Is this his way of pushing me? Of testing my limits?
I sit down at the kitchen table, all by myself again, as Mikhail heads for his office, telling Mary to send his breakfast in to him.
“Yes, Mr. Ivanov,” Mary replies. The respect in her voice is obvious. Too bad she doesn’t have any respect for me.
“Can I use the phone now, Mary?” I ask once I’m finished eating.
“Have you gotten permission from Mr. Ivanov?” she asks, keeping her eyes glued to the dishes she’s washing.
“No,” I admit. “But surely, he’ll let me use the phone.”
“You’ll have to ask him. Until then, no.” She shoos me out of her way. “Unlike some people, missy, others have to work. Get out of my kitchen.”
“I can help,” I offer.
Mary gives me a horrified look as she clutches her hand to her chest. If she wore pearls, I’m sure she’d be clutching them, too. “You are Mr. Ivanov’s wife. You do not do household work.”
“But you just judged me for not working. So, I’m offering to work.”
“You will do no such thing. Just get out of my kitchen. Now!” she barks, making me jump.
I practically run from the kitchen and end up bumping into someone in the hallway.
“Woah, there.”
I look up at the person I ran into and see it’s Andrei, Mikhail’s second in command.
“Be careful where you’re going,” he says. There’s a darkness in his eyes that startles me.
“Sorry. I didn’t realize anyone else was over.”
“Mikhail invited me over. We have work to discuss.”
“Ok, then.” All I can see when I look at Andrei is the other night when I saw him spanking another woman in the same room as Mikhail and Irina.
I try to step around him, but he doesn’t move. “You had work?” I ask.
“Yes, I do.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets. He’s a little younger than Mikhail—probably in his thirties. There’s a handsomeness to him, but he’s not as striking as Mikhail.
I wait for him to move, but he remains standing there, hands in his pockets, smiling down at me. It’s unnerving.
“So, you saw us the other night,” Andrei says, startling me.
“I don’t think that’s appropriate to talk about.”
“But you were the one spying. You don’t get to lecture me about manners.”
My mouth drops open, and I quickly shut it. “I wasn’t lecturing.”
“So.” When he steps toward me, I take a step back. But there’s not much room for me to go with the wall to my back and Andrei to my front. “Did you like what you saw?”
“Did I …” I shake my head. “I don’t think you should be asking me this. Mikhail and I talked about it. That’s between him and me.”
“But I asked”—he places his hands on either side of my head, trapping me— “did you like what you saw?”
“No,” I whisper. “It scared me.”
Andrei eyes me over in a way that revolts me. It’s not the hungry, sexy way Mikhail does it. “You know, Mikhail and I like to share women.”
“I know.”
“So, you know that once you become his sub, you’ll become mine as well?” He presses his body against mine. Not even Mikhail has been this close to me.
“No. No. Mikhail said he’ll be the only one to touch me.”
“Well, Mikhail was just telling you that to make you feel safe. But the truth is, he shares all his women with me. I’ll get a taste of you soon enough.” He quirks his eyebrow. “Has Mikhail had a taste himself yet?”
I shake my head. Words. I can’t even process them right now.
“Shame. Someone needs to taste you. I’ll gladly offer up my services.” He bends his head down, and I realize he’s trying to kiss me. I move my head out of the way, and his lips skim my cheek.
“Stop.” I push him away from me, and he takes a step back. “I’m Mikhail’s wife. Not yours. You can’t touch me like that.”
Andrei’s eyes narrow, and his nostrils flare. “Trust me. I can touch you however I want. This is between you and me, Sofiya. If you tell Mikhail, I’ll know.”
“But if you share women, then why do I need to keep it a secret?”
His smile is vicious. “Don’t tell him. You wouldn’t want to get into trouble now, would you? Mikhail isn’t exactly known for his kindness.”
“I’m going upstairs. Don’t you have a meeting with Mikhail?” I hurry past Andrei, heading for the steps. I can feel Andrei’s eyes on me until I get upstairs and round the corner.
Breathing heavily, I think about what Andrei just told me. He truly thinks Mikhail will share me with him, but Mikhail made it very clear he will be the only one to touch me.
So, which is it? Which man do I believe? Neither is exactly trustworthy. Mikhail could just be telling me that to get me to trust him. How do I know Mikhail won’t whip me like he did Irina even though he said he wouldn’t? Mikhail is a man who takes what he wants. He doesn’t care for what others think.
Maybe he doesn’t care what I think. Or what I want.
As for Andrei, I trust him even less than Mikhail. But maybe he was speaking the truth. I have no way of knowing. Only time will tell.
And that terrifies me.
I don’t see Mikhail for the rest of the day again. He’s busy with work. It reminds me of my father. He rarely had time for us as a family. The only person he ever made time for was Mila—his little angel.
I was fairly lonely growing up. Vik was always off with her friends, and Mila had our father. I had our mother, but even she would get busy with hosting functions and volunteer work.
The sad reality is hitting me now—I’m lonely still. And now, even more so, because I don’t even have Mila to talk to. Any friends I had during school have probably forgotten me now. I wasn’t exactly a social butterfly. I have no one.
I’m getting desperate for … I’m not exactly sure what. Just something. Anything .
I’m scared to spend the night in bed alone again, knowing Mikhail is with Irina. He may not be sleeping with her, but he is sharing intimate time with her. Intimate time I think I want.
Not the whipping, of course. Just his time and attention.
So, that’s why I decide to stay up late. I hide on the stairs in the dark as I wait to see what Mikhail will do. So far, he hasn’t left his office yet.
When the doorbell rings, I tense. It’s almost midnight. I can just barely make out the time on the clock in the dark. Mary is still here, and she answers the door.
A woman walks inside.
It’s Irina.
The sight of her fills me with an anger I’ve never felt before. She’s providing Mikhail with something I can’t, and I hate her for that.
I also hate Mikhail for that, but he’s my husband. I have to learn to like him. But with Irina, I can hate her all I want.
Mary gives Irina a disgusted look before heading back into the kitchen. Irina waits in the foyer, but still, Mikahil doesn’t come.
Before I know it, I’m on my feet, heading downstairs and walking toward her.
Irina tenses when she sees me.
“Hello,” I say.
She shifts on her feet. In six-inch stilettos, I notice. My own feet are bare right now, making me much shorter than her. I wear heels, too, but they’re never that tall. They’re never so … sexy looking. All the clothes Mikhail picked out for me are more innocent. Pastel blues, pinks, and whites. Summer dresses that aren’t too revealing. Cute rather than sexy. Heels that are classy but not trashy.
Mikhail wants me innocent while he’s spending time with a woman who doesn’t look like she has an innocent bone in her body.
“Hi,” Irina finally says, her accent heavy. She sets her bag down—it’s not a normal purse. It’s a bag from a coffee shop. She either loves coffee or works there. But I tell myself not to worry about what Irina gets up to in her spare time. I’m not interested in getting to know her.
“You’re waiting for Mikhail.” It’s not a question.
“Yes.” She eyes me over. “What are you doing up? Shouldn’t you be in bed with your blankie?”
I blanch. “I’m his wife.”
“So? I’m the one he spends his nights with. He wants me. Not you.”
“Maybe I can give him what you can.” Though even as I say it, I know how wrong I am. I can’t give him what Irina can. I’m not sure I ever can.
She scoffs. “He will eat you alive. He needs a woman like me. I’m his sub. Not you.”
“If you’re so submissive, then why aren’t you acting like it?’
“Why aren’t you?” she fires back.
“I don’t want you here.”
Irina laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “That’s not for you to decide.”
“I. Don’t. Want. You. Here,” I enunciate.
“Poor little thing.” She flicks her finger against my nose. I jerk back. “You’re jealous. It’s not a good look. It makes you ugly.”
I want to slap her. I haven’t wanted to slap many people before. Probably only Vik, in fact. And now, Irina.
But before I do something I’ll regret, Mikhail walks into the foyer. “What’s going on? Sofiya, shouldn’t you be asleep?”
“I don’t want her here,” I tell him. I feel silly in my blue summer dress and bare feet beside Irina in her skintight black dress and stilettos. I feel like a child.
Mikhail looks between Irina and me. “All right.” He turns to Irina. “Go home. I’m no longer in need of your services.”
Irina’s mouth gapes open before she quickly shuts it. “Yes, sir.” She walks out of the apartment with her head held high.
Now, it’s me and Mikhail again. My plan didn’t get this far—honestly, I didn’t have a plan at all.
“Come with me,” Mikhail says, taking my hand and guiding me into his dom room.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Well, I sent Irina home. I figured you were ready to play.”
“I’m …” God, I think I might pass out. I’m not ready for this. How can I ever be ready for this ?
Mikhail’s eyes soften. “Take off your dress.”
“What are you going to do to me?”
“I’m not going to hurt you, Sofiya. In fact, I’m not even going to touch you. Do as I say. I think you’ll see how much better you feel. Take off your dress.”
I have to believe him. I have no other choice.
With trembling fingers, I slip my dress off my shoulders and let it fall at my feet.
“Now, take off your bra and panties. I want to see you naked.”
I’m intensely aware of his body. His suit. His hands. His eyes. Him .
I keep my eyes ducked down as I let my bra and underwear slide off me. The air is thick. The silence is even more thickening.
“Lie over the bench with your back on it.”
It takes my body a second to move, but I manage it. I’m acutely aware of his eyes on me as I lie down. My own eyes are glued to the ceiling. In this draped-over position, my back is arched, pushing my breasts up. I’ve never heard my breathing be so loud before.
“Spread your legs. I want to see your pussy.”
I flush. How can he say things like that so … casually? I could never utter something like that.
“Sofiya,” he warns.
I force my legs open.
“Place your feet on the bench.”
After a beat, I do as he says.
I’m laid out before him, fully naked. My entire body on display for him.
And Mikhail doesn’t touch me. Not once. He just … looks. Watches.
I finally work up the courage to meet his gaze, and what I see there lights me on fire. Awe in his eyes. Lust in his eyes. The desire he has for me is overpowering.
My breath comes faster and faster. I think I might pass out.
Mikhail walks around my body, observing me but never touching me. It’s almost like I’m a statue in a museum.
When he stands before me, staring down at the space between my legs, I have to fight the urge to fidget. Does he like what he sees? Should I even care? Maybe I should have just let Irina have him for the night. She was right—I’m not ready for this. Mikhail will eat me alive.
And then he turns away from me, and the spell breaks.
“You can get dressed now.”
I sit up on the bench, closing my legs but not rushing to get dressed. “I don’t understand.”
He picks up my clothes and hands them to me. “Get dressed, Sofiya,” he repeats in a softer tone. “That’s all for tonight. You’re not ready for more.”
I grab my clothes, shame burning my face as I get dressed.
“You can leave,” he says.
I almost run for the door. Why did I think I could do this? Why did I think this would be a good idea? I’m in over my head. I’m drowning.
Then he speaks again: “You made me proud tonight.”
And for the first time since my parents died, I smile.
The next day, I go into the kitchen for lunch, but Mary isn’t there. Mikhail is in his office again. Fortunately, there are no sightings of Andrei today. I didn’t tell Mikhail about Andrei. I’m not sure. I just don’t want Mikhail to blame me for what happened. That’s the thing—I’m not even sure if he would. But I don’t know my husband well enough yet to know.
I check the pantry to make sure Mary isn’t there. She’s not. She must be in another part of the house, cleaning.
Now’s the time to try the phone.
I hurry to it and dial Mila’s number. It’s only seven at night in New York. She has to be awake.
After a couple of rings, she answers. “Hello?”
I sag in relief. “Mila. It’s Sofiya.”
“Sofiya!” She pulls the phone away from her mouth. “Vik! Sofiya is calling.”
“How are you?” I ask.
“I’m …” She sighs heavily. “Boris wants to marry me.”
I was worried about that. “Is there any way you can get out of it? I tried, Mila. I tried to protect you from him, but Mikhail … he wanted me.”
“I don’t blame you. Are you ok? It’s been days, and you haven’t called.”
“I don’t have my cell phone. I haven’t been allowed to use the phone. I’m just glad you answered. I’ll find a way to protect you from Boris. I promise.”
“I know you will.”
“Can I talk to Vik?”
“Hang on.” After a moment of muddled conversation, Vik comes onto the phone.
“I’m glad you’re alive, at least,” she says.
“Nice to talk to you, too, Vik.”
She sighs. “I’m glad you’re ok. You are ok, aren’t you?”
I lean against the counter, glancing around to make sure Mary isn’t close by. “I’m trying to be ok. Are you? We left on bad terms.”
“I’m trying to do what I can to protect Mila. I won’t let Boris marry her. Maybe …”
“Maybe what?”
“Maybe you can invite Mila and me there. To Russia. That way, we can get away from Boris.”
“I can ask, but Vik … Russia isn’t a safe place. We don’t know anybody here. None of us know Russian. And I’m not sure I exactly trust Mikhail. I don’t know how I feel about him, to be honest.”
“I don’t care how you feel, Sofiya. I just need to get us to safety. We can’t let our baby sister marry that monster.”
“Ok. I’ll ask. I’ll try to get you guys here.”
“Thank y?—”
I don’t get to hear her words because the phone is ripped out of my hands. I spin around. Mary.
She turns the phone off and places it back on the counter. “I thought I said you couldn’t use the phone.”
“I needed to talk to my sisters.”
She glares at me as she reaches into a cabinet and pulls out a ruler. “Hold you your arm.”
I draw my arm closer to me. “What?”
“Your arm.”
I don’t move.
Mary makes a disapproving sound in the back of her throat as she grabs my arm and uses the ruler to hit me. A hot, intense pain ripples up my arm. She leaves behind a red welt on my skin.
And then she does it again.
“Stop!” I scream, trying to pull away from her, but Mary is stronger than she looks. She keeps swatting my arm with the ruler. “Stop!”
“What’s going on in here?” Mikhail’s thunderous voice fills the room.
Mary backs up and thankfully stops hitting me. “She used the phone without permission. I was punishing her.”
“Is this true, Sofiya?” I hate how he sets his eyes on me. I can never think straight when he does that.
“Mary told me I couldn’t, but I needed to talk to my sisters. You have to understand.”
“I do. And if you had come to me, I would have told you that you could gladly use the phone. But you didn’t, and now, you’ve disobeyed Mary’s orders.”
“I thought I was just supposed to follow your orders?”
Mikhail’s eyes soften as he walks toward me, placing his hands on my arms. “I’ll give you a free pass just this once. You’re still learning. You either have to listen to me or Mary. She helps keep this house thriving. If you have a problem with what Mary does, then come to me. Don’t go behind either of our backs. Understood?”
I want to object, but I know it’s pointless. And I really don’t want to be whacked with a ruler again.
“Understood.” I hold my arm out. It’s covered in red welts. “It hurts.”
“Let me take care of that for you.” He turns to Mary. “Don’t be so hard on her.”
“Yes, Mr. Ivanov.” Even though Mary’s words say she agrees, her expression says otherwise.
Mikhail walks with me upstairs and into the bathroom, where he grabs a salve and rubs it onto my arm. “This will help with the pain.”
“Thank you. Mikhail, I need to talk to you about something.”
“Mmm?” He keeps his gaze on my arm as he continues to rub the salve into my skin.
“Boris is trying to marry Mila.”
Mikhail doesn’t react.
“That’s a problem,” I say.
“Is it?”
I huff. “Yes. Mila is the kindest out of us. She doesn’t deserve to marry a man like Boris.”
“Then maybe I should have married her.”
I flinch. “What?”
He glances up with a small smile on his lips, and it’s only then I realize he’s joking. “I can see your sisters mean a lot to you.”
“They do.” I inhale slowly. “So, I would like to invite them to stay with us. Here.”
When Mikhail lets my arm go, I feel instantly colder. “I’m not sure.”
“Please. This might be the only safe place for them. Please.”
Mikhail holds my gaze as he nods. “All right. I’ll agree to it. But”—he holds up his finger— “on one condition.”
“What condition?”
“You submit to me fully. You join me tonight. You will agree to become my sub through and through. You will not ask me what I’m going to do to you tonight. You just have to trust me. I’ll tell you if you decide to show up tonight. I’ll be waiting. If you agree to do this, then I’ll let your sisters visit. If not, Boris can have them.”
It’s only at this moment I see Mikhail for who he is—a Bratva man. One who knows how to show me kindness but also knows how to take it away.
I’m completely at his mercy.