Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
ALEKSANDER
V iktoriya’s words are a punch to my stomach.
“You can’t be serious,” I say to her.
She turns her icy eyes onto me. “I am serious. Gleb is the better option. He will respect me. Unlike …” She makes a point of looking me up and down. “You.”
“I can’t believe this,” I mutter, raking my hand down my face. So, Viktoriya has proven herself to be even more of a challenge than I thought.
Gleb has an annoying, shit-eating grin as he tries to hug Viktoriya, but she holds up her hands, stopping him. At least I get some satisfaction watching Gleb frown at Viktoriya’s rejection.
“I never said you could hug me,” she says.
“But … we’re getting married.”
“I know. But I still like to keep my own personal space.”
Mikhail nods. “So, it’s settled. Viktoriya and Gleb will marry.” He points at her. “No more running off on your own.”
“I can’t make that promise,” she responds.
Mikhail turns to Sofiya. “Make sure she promises. I’ll be in my office.” He walks off.
Sofiya slowly approaches Viktoriya. “Are you sure about this, Vik?”
“She’s sure,” Gleb says.
Of course, he’d say that. He thinks he’s won.
But I’ll have Viktoriya eventually. I’ll make her see she needs me. The spanking tonight was just the beginning. She can deny it all she wants, but I saw it affected her.
“I was talking to my sister,” Sofiya says.
“I’m sure,” Viktoriya answers. “Gleb is the one I want.” She doesn’t look at me as she answers. Already, she’s cutting me out. But what Viktoriya doesn’t realize is that her rejection just makes me want her more.
I’m not going to fight it, though. I can’t force Viktoriya to do anything she doesn’t want to do. I’ll just have to make sure she knows she’s about to make a huge mistake with Gleb.
“You made your decision,” I say to her. “I’ll leave now. Goodnight.”
“Just like that?” she asks as I turn away.
“Mmm?” I glance back at her.
“You’re just going to leave?”
“Well, you’ve chosen Gleb, so …”
“Yes, she has,” Gleb says, sliding his arm around Viktoriya’s shoulders. She shrugs him off and approaches me.
“I guess I thought you were going to fight harder,” she says.
I offer a kind smile, making her look at me with even more distrust. “You made your decision. I’ll respect it. You don’t want me. So, have a good night, Viktoriya.” I walk away before she can say anything else.
VIKTORIYA
I’m … disappointed.
I wanted to see Aleksander get angry. I wanted to see him get into a fight with Gleb over me.
Instead, he just … left. Acting as if he had no problem I didn’t choose him.
Well, it’s fine. I didn’t want to be with Aleksander anyway. He can just take his ugly face and shove it somewhere else. I’m in no way, shape, or form upset over Aleksander leaving. The man spanked me, for heaven’s sake! I hate him. I will always hate him.
I deserve to be with a man who will treat me with respect. Not one who barges into my hotel room and spanks me for running away. Aleksander is the last man I want to be with.
Gleb is good-looking, wealthy, and highly positioned within the Bratva. I’ll be taken care of. Once my ankle gets better and I lose more weight, I can return to dance. Gleb won’t stop me from doing that. I’ve made the right choice.
I turn to my sisters, both of whom are looking at me with doubt. “What?”
Mila flinches, but Sofiya remains calm, staring me down. She’s grown a lot of confidence since being married to Mikhail. I don’t like it.
“Vik,” Sofiya says softly. “Let’s go upstairs and talk.”
“She doesn’t need to talk,” Gleb says. “We shall start wedding planning tomorrow. The sooner, the better in my eyes. Don’t you agree?”
“I agree,” I say, knowing it’s the right course of action. The sooner I can marry Gleb, the sooner I can push Aleksander from my mind, and I can go back to the way things were—me in New York, dancing, and returning to my old life. Sure, I’ll have Gleb, which I’m not too excited about, but he seems malleable. I can convince him to dote on me.
Aleksander is not the kind of man who would ever dote on me. He’d probably get a kick out of spanking me every day, which is the last thing I want.
Though … for just a moment, while he was spanking me, I didn’t think about throwing up. It was sort of nice.
But no—I don’t want Aleksander.
Frankly, I don’t want Gleb either, but he’s the lesser of two evils. I can make Gleb work. Aleksander is a man I will hate forever.
“I’m off to bed,” I announce, walking past my sisters. “No one bother me.”
I have made the right decision. I know it.
Sofiya is waiting outside my door the next morning. “Let’s talk.”
I huff. “There’s nothing to talk about. I have made my choice.”
“Vik.” She grabs my arm, stopping me from brushing past her. “You came back to Russia to get away from Gleb, and now, you’re agreeing to marry him? Why?”
“It was either him or Aleksander. And I cannot stand Aleksander, so …”
“I can talk with Mikhail about this. You don’t have to do this.”
“Sofiya, I will always be in danger from men if I don’t marry. You knew this before you married Mikhail. I know this. I’m sure even Mila knows this. I wanted to find a man worthy of me, and I have. Gleb has everything I could ever want. He’s handsome, has money and status, and will treat me right. I don’t love that he used to work with Boris, but I’ve realized I have only so many choices in life. I didn’t want Aleksander, and no one else wanted me.” The moment I say those words, I want to take them right back.
Sofiya’s eyes fill with pity, and it makes me want to scream. “Vik, I’m sure you could have found a man who wanted you. Plenty of men wanted you. You just rejected them all.”
“Because none of them were good enough. I’m tired, Sofiya,” I admit. “I tried running away, but Aleksander found me and brought me right back. These Bratva men will never let me go. They will never let any of us go. So, I want to marry a man I don’t hate, at least.”
“You hate Aleksander?”
I shudder. “With a passion.”
“You don’t hate Gleb?”
“He’s annoying, but I can make that work. He said he doesn’t want to control my life. I’ll still be able to dance even after we’re married. That’s what I want. I’m realizing that now.”
“I just don’t want you to make a mistake.”
“You think I should have gone with Aleksander?”
“No. I just think you deserve to be with a man you chose. I didn’t get that with Mikhail. He chose me. I found love with him, yes, but it wasn’t an easy road. I wanted a different fate for you and Mila.”
“I’m in control of my own life, Sofiya.” I rip my arm away from her hand. “That’s why I made the choice I did. I will not regret it. Now, I have a wedding to plan. The sooner I can get back to New York, the better.” I start walking away. “And tell Mila to practice her dance steps. She’ll be coming back with me, and I need to make sure she’s ready to perform.”
“Vik,” Sofiya calls out.
“I’m done talking.” I head downstairs and run right into Mikhail.
“Viktoriya.”
“Mikhail. I’m sure you’re happy I’ll soon be gone.”
“I am.” He doesn’t sugarcoat things, my brother-in-law.
“Did Sofiya chew you out last night?”
“What goes on between my wife and me is between us.”
“You’re just saying that because Sofiya isn’t happy with you for putting me into that position. Well, no hard feelings.” That’s a lie. I’m so fucking angry with him for making me choose between Aleksander and Gleb. But there’s no use fighting with him. There’s a good chance he might kick me out again, and who knows what could happen then? Aleksander might find me and try to spank me again.
No, the safest place for me is inside this penthouse until I marry Gleb.
“You’re not angry with me?” he asks.
“I’m furious, but I’m not going to fight. You’ve won, Mikhail.” I walk away and head into the kitchen. I love getting the last word in.
I convince Sofiya and Mila to go wedding dress shopping with me. Well, Mila was easy to convince. She loves all things romance.
Sofiya, on the other hand, can’t stop expressing doubts, which only angers me.
“I just want you to be safe with who you marry,” she says as we walk into the bridal boutique.
“Sofiya, I’m the older sister here.”
“Yes. But I’m the married one here.” It’s a slap to my face. A reminder that, despite being the oldest, I’m unmarried. Mikhail didn’t want me. No other man was good enough for me.
The urge to vomit comes back, and I force it down.
“I’m going to plan the perfect wedding,” I say, changing the subject. “Either get on board or leave.”
Sofiya closes her mouth. On board, it is.
“Ooh, this is pretty,” Mila says, grabbing a dress from the rack.
“Ugh. For you, maybe. Not for me.”
Mila looks dejected and puts the dress back.
“Be nicer to her,” Sofiya whispers as we flip through dresses. Nothing good. Too ugly. Too shiny. Too lacy. Too ruffly. Too tight. Too flowy. None of these dresses are good enough. I need my wedding dress to be perfect.
“I am nice to Mila,” I say. “I’d die for our sister. You know that.”
“I know you would. But you can still be nicer. She’s trying to please you.”
“Please me how?” I pick out a mermaid style dress, shudder, and put it back on the rack.
“She only went out for the role of Juliet because you couldn’t do it yourself. She’s doing it for you, Vik.”
I laugh. “That’s ridiculous. All three of us have trained in ballet our entire lives. I know you don’t love it like I do, but Mila loves it. She’s happy.”
Sofiya sighs and shakes her head but doesn’t say anything more.
“None of these dresses are right.” I want to rake my hands through my hair, but I styled it to perfection and refuse to mess it up.
“What exactly are you looking for?”
“I’ll know it when I see it.”
“What if you don’t know what’s good for you?” a deep voice asks from behind me. I know that voice. Spinning around, I come face-to-face with Aleksander.
“What are you doing here?”
“I was in the area and saw you through the window. Thought I would come in and see how the wedding planning is going. Still set on marrying Gleb?”
A slight thrill goes through me. “Why? Are you just devastated I rejected you?”
Aleksander smirks. “I’m not upset at all.”
“Liar.”
Sofiya walks over to Mila, who has a large stack of dresses in her arms. If Mila seriously thinks I’m going to wear any of that …
“I said it last night.” Aleksander draws my attention back to him. “You made your choice. I have to respect that. So, which dress are you going to go with?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Just curious, is all. I want to know what dress you’ll be wearing when you marry Gleb. It’s the same dress he’s going to take off you on your wedding night. When he finally gets the chance to fuck you.”
Heat hits my cheeks, and I hate it. I don’t get embarrassed. Ever.
Except when it comes to Aleksander.
“How dare you!” I hiss. “Gleb is going to do no such thing. He’s a gentleman. Gentlemen don’t fuck .”
He raises an eyebrow. “I’m impressed. I didn’t think you’d have the guts to say ‘fuck.’ But then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re a brave woman, Viktoriya.”
“How am I brave?”
“You came back to Russia knowing I was here.”
I scoff. “Not everything is about you.”
“You’re right. Not everything is about me. But let me ask you this.” He starts going through the rack of dresses. “Who did you think about last night when you went to bed? Your new fiancé or … me?”
“I didn’t think about either of you. The moment my head hits the pillow, I’m out. As I said last night, I needed my beauty rest.” I was most definitely not thinking about Aleksander spanking me. Not. At. All.
“Fair enough. But if I’m being honest, I couldn’t stop thinking about the feel of your ass in my hand. You have a plumper ass than I expected for a ballerina.”
“Are you calling me fat?” I try not to wrap my arms around my waist. I’ve already lost a couple of pounds. I just need to lose some more, and then I’ll be skinny enough to dance again.
“I’m calling you sexy, Viktoriya.” He doesn’t look at me as he says it, which somehow makes it worse.
It’s also bad because I feel a slight tingling sensation between my legs.
I press them tighter together and ignore it. Aleksander will not make me feel anything other than pure derision.
“I’m an engaged woman now. I don’t think you should be calling me sexy.” I flip my hair over my shoulder. “Though, I do appreciate a compliment.”
He chuckles. “Of course, you do. This is a nice one.” He pulls out a dress.
I don’t spare it a glance. “What do you know about wedding dresses? You grew up poor. I doubt you ever had the money for the finer things in life.”
“I didn’t. I know nothing about wedding dresses. I may not know everything about you, Viktoriya, but I’m getting a sense of who you are as a person. And I know what dress would look good on you. I think this one would.” He sets it down on a nearby seat. “Try it on. Don’t try it on. But I figure you want to look beautiful on your wedding day.” He winks. “I’ll see you later.” With a whistle—an actual goddamn whistle—he leaves the store.
Sofiya and Mila hurry over to my side. “What did he want?” Sofiya asks.
To make fun of me . “To talk,” I say instead.
“Here.” Mila hands over the stack of wedding dresses she picked out. “You have to try these on.”
Sparing a glance at them, I can tell I’ll hate every single one. But Sofiya’s words are still in my mind. Be nice to her. So, I force a smile and grab them from her.
“Oh, and this one, too!” She picks up the dress Aleksander chose and lays it on top of the pile.
I hate what I see.
The dress has a regal look to it with a high back collar and long sleeves. There’s no way Aleksander could think this dress is right for me.
But I’m going to try it on so I can prove him wrong and tell him that the next time I see him.
“Thank you, Mila.”
Mila beams under my praise while Sofiya nods in approval. Be nicer.
I head into the fitting room and start trying the dresses on. It’s quickly apparent that all the ones Mila gave me are just not … good. They’re pretty, I’ll give them that. They’re just not me.
I save Aleksander’s dress for last. I laugh as I try the dress on, ready to tear it to shreds in my mind.
And then I see myself in it.
I suck in a breath. I look … like a queen. It fits me to a tee—it doesn’t even need any alterations made to it. It’s like I stepped out of the royal house in this dress. It was made for me.
How did Aleksander know this dress would work?
He doesn’t know me. He doesn’t even like me. If he did, he wouldn’t have spanked me in his efforts to humiliate me.
The dress is perfect.
But I can't wear it because I can’t give Aleksander the satisfaction of picking out my wedding dress. Though … what he doesn’t know, he doesn’t have to know. He could just not come to the wedding, and then he won’t know which dress I chose. There. That’s perfect. I’ll make sure Aleksander doesn’t come so I can wear the dress he picked out.
I may hate him, but he made a good point—I deserve to look beautiful on my wedding day.
MILA
I’m lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, when there’s a knock at my door. Assuming it’s one of my sisters, I get up to open it …
… and startle when I see that it’s Gleb.
“Oh. Hi,” I whisper.
“Mila, hi.” He offers me a disarmingly charming smile.
“Did you need something?”
“I was just checking in to see how you were doing. With Viktoriya and me engaged, I said I would help protect you. I want you to know that offer doesn’t change even after I marry Viktoriya.”
“Thank you,” I say because it’s the polite thing to do even when all I want is to shut the door and go back to bed. I’m acutely aware of my pajamas—a small crop top and high-waisted flare-out linen pants. It’s casual and comfy. Not sexual at all.
But for some reason, I feel … uncomfortable in my clothes standing before Gleb in the dark of night.
“I’m not going anywhere, Mila. You have my word. I’ll protect you.” He reaches out and skims his fingers down my arm. His touch makes me subtly move away from him.
“You said you want to be like a father figure to me.”
“I did.”
“Is it appropriate for you to be talking with me alone in my room late at night?” And touching my arm ?
“We’ll soon be family, Mila. Nothing inappropriate about that. Have a good night.” He smiles once more before walking away. I slowly shut my door.
My older sisters think I’m na?ve, and maybe in some ways, I am. But I know a gut feeling when I have it, and my gut tells me Gleb cannot be trusted.
I have no choice but to tell Viktoriya.
VIKTORIYA
I wake up to someone knocking on my door frantically. “Ugh. Go away.”
“Vik, it’s me,” Mila says, opening the door without waiting for me to answer.
“What are you doing?” I roll onto my back, blinking the sleep out of my eyes.
Mila hurries into the room and sits on the bed. “I need to talk to you.”
“About what?” Be nicer, Sofiya said. Fine. I’ll be nice when all I want is to kick my baby sister out and go back to sleep.
“It’s about Gleb.”
Her words send a jolt through me. “What about Gleb?”
“He came to talk to me tonight, and it just felt … wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“He touched my arm,” she whispers.
“Your arm? Mila, if you have nothing serious to say, then let me go back to sleep.” I roll away from her.
“Vik, please,” she says harshly. Mila never uses a harsh tone—never.
I force myself to sit up and listen to her. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m worried that … he’ll be like Boris. I’m worried that he wants more than … friendship.”
“With you?”
“Yes.” Her hair bounces around her shoulders as she nods.
I look at Mila more closely. “Mila, Gleb wants to marry me. He has made that very clear. You’re safe from him. Now, go back to bed.”
“I’m just …”
“Ugh. What?”
She flinches back. “Nothing. I’ll … go.”
“Mila,” I groan. “Tell me.”
She’s blinking rapidly and won’t meet my eyes. “I think he wants what Boris wanted from me.”
“No,” I say slowly. “Gleb wants to marry me. He doesn’t want you.” For once, a man wants me and not my sisters. I will not let Gleb reject me for Mila the way Mikhail rejected me for Sofiya. I deserve a husband. I deserve the world.
I deserve to dance, but I don’t get to have it, while Mila gets to have everything.
Mila nods. “You’re probably right. I just got … scared for some reason.”
“It’s ok. Now, go back to bed.”
“Ok.” Mila looks at me like she’s trying to get me to say something, but I don’t give her anything. I’m tired and cranky. “Ok.” Finally, she gets up and leaves the room.
I settle back into my bed and am almost asleep when my door bursts open, and Sofiya walks in, Mila behind her. “Oh my god!” I startle awake, sitting up in bed. “What’s going on?”
“Mila told me her concerns about Gleb,” Sofiya says. “She also said you wouldn’t listen to her.”
“I did listen to her, and I told her not to worry. He doesn’t want her. He wants me.”
“But what if he does want her? Boris wanted her.”
“Boris also wanted me first, then you, and when he didn’t get either of us, he set his sights on Mila. So, I’m not worried. I’ve agreed to marry Gleb, and that’s what I’ll do. I don’t see the problem here.”
“The problem, Vik,” Sofiya continues, “is Mila came to you with concerns, and you brushed her off. Are you so desperate for a husband you’re willing to push aside our sister’s safety?”
I hate to admit it, but Sofiya’s words sting more than I want them to. Pushing back my covers, I stand up. “No. Of course, I care for Mila’s safety. I just think it’s unfounded. The moment I get engaged, he just happens to go to Mila and tries to ruin it? I don’t think so. Gleb wants me. He wants me! Not you.” I point at Mila. “And most definitely not you,” I say to Sofiya.
She narrows her eyes. “So, this is because of Mikhail? Because Mikhail chose me over you?”
“Oh, I’m over that. I don’t want Mikhail anymore. Not everything is about you, Sofiya.
“And not everything is about you, Vik!”
“Don’t fight,” Mila whispers.
“That’s rich,” I grumble. “It’s because of you, Mila, that we’re fighting.” She flinches.
“Hey,” Sofiya snaps. “Be nice.”
“I’m done being fucking nice. I finally have a chance for happiness. For everything I’ve ever wanted. Gleb is that. No one is going to ruin it for me.”
“Not even if he ends up hurting Mila?”
I open my mouth to fire off a retort when Mikhail enters the room. “What’s going on?” he demands. “I heard shouting.”
I ignore him and look at Sofiya. “Get out of my room. Now.” She doesn’t move. “Now!”
“Don’t scream at my wife,” Mikhail growls.
“It’s ok,” Sofiya says, looping her arm through Mila’s. “We’re leaving.” I can feel Sofiya’s judgmental eyes on me as she leaves the room with Mila in tow. Mikhail shoots me a glare, then follows after them.
All the fight leaves my body, and I slump onto the bed. No one is going to take away what I deserve. Not Sofiya. Not Mila. And most definitely not Mikhail.
Not even Aleksander, who’s ugly face I can’t stop thinking about.
I run into the bathroom and bend over the toilet, pushing my fingers down my throat and forcing vomit to come out of me.
The moment I’m done, I feel better.
I feel right.
Because everything will be all right.