Chapter 11
Chapter
Eleven
VIKTORIYA
O ver the next few days, Aleksander and I fall into a routine. He makes me eat. I do. And I don’t throw it up.
He doesn’t try touching me. My rib is still cracked, but it’s getting easier to move around and breathe. It only hurts if I move too fast.
Which means dance is out of the question for now.
I spend my days thinking longingly of ballet and how I might never be able to do it again. My ankle has grown stronger, which is encouraging. But the more I eat, the more weight I gain. I look healthier now in a normal weight range.
But it’s too much to dance ballet.
I try not to let it bother me, but I can’t stop it from reaching my mind. Not even Aleksander can save me from my thoughts.
“I have an idea,” he tells me after dinner when we’re sitting on the couch.
“What’s that?” My hands rest over my stomach, where I feel truly full after eating a large meal.
“You don’t fully know who I am. I’ve shown you a little bit, but you don’t know the full extent. I like to partake in BDSM, Viktoriya.”
I stare at him for a moment before I scoff. “What? Like whips and things?”
“More like bondage. It’s about control. I’m a dom. I want you to be my submissive once you’ve fully healed.”
“Do I look submissive to you?”
“No. You’re not naturally submissive at all. But I think you want to be. I’ve seen you this past week, eating when I tell you to. You needed my permission. You needed me to be in control because I think you feel out of control.”
“And you’re an expert on how I feel?” I ask, shifting around, unable to meet his gaze. That’s not the norm for me, but this conversation is definitely not the norm for me, either.
“I can read you. I can tell you’ve felt out of control, especially with what happened with Gleb. I want you to trust me. I want you to know I’ll keep you safe.”
“By controlling me?” I shake my head. “I don’t think so. I’m not going to kneel before you and beg for you to touch me. In fact, I don’t want you touching me at all.”
He smirks. I hate how handsome it makes him. I also hate the slight flash of arousal between my legs. “Still pretending you hate me?”
“I do hate you, Aleksander. Just because I’ve been eating doesn’t change things. You want to control me, and that’s the last thing I want.”
He scoots in closer to me and rests his fingers on my temple.
“What are you doing?” I ask and swat his hand away. But he just places it right back into the same position. The touch of his fingers to the sensitive skin of my temple makes me feel … things. Things I don’t want to feel for him.
“Your mind is uneasy. You may not want me to be in control, but we both know you need it.”
“Stop telling me what I need. I know what I need.”
“Is that why you’ve been making yourself throw up? Because that’s what you needed?”
“Is this a trick question?” I ask.
He never looks away once. “It’s an honest question.”
“I’m not going to kneel for you, Aleksander. If you want me to, you’ll have to make me.”
His fingers trace down my temple to my lips. “I don’t want to make you. I want you to choose me. And I think, deep down, you want to.” He traces my lips over the top and over the bottom. I let my lips part.
I’ve never been touched like this before. Aleksander talks about wanting to control me, but I’ve never felt more out of control than around him.
There’s no way I’m going to kiss him. I hate Aleksander. I always will.
He’s just another man intent on doing me harm.
But as he leans closer, I don’t move away.
“I think you want to be with me,” he says in his deep voice, sending a shiver over me. “I think you want to know what it’s like to kiss me.”
“No.” Yes. Maybe.
“Fine. Then pull away from me.”
I don’t move a muscle.
His fingers move from my lips to my cheek. “Your bruise is healing. It’s almost gone.”
“Not so ugly anymore, am I?”
“You were never ugly, Viktoriya. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re not going to charm your way into my pants.”
He raises an eyebrow. “What pants? You’re wearing a dress.” He rests his hand on my knee, his thumb drawing circles into my skin. I can admit it feels … tantalizing.
I swallow hard.
“You don’t know what you’re missing,” he says. “You’ve never been touched before.”
“How do you know? I may have had many lovers.”
“You could have. But you never did. Why is that?”
“Ballet was my life. Nothing else mattered. Still doesn’t.”
“Not even love?”
I huff. “I don’t love you. I’ll never love you.”
He smiles before saying, “Fine. Not love. Then how about lust?” His hand moves upward to my thigh. I press my knees together. They’re not as bony as before. It’s a good feeling.
“Lust was never important to me. There was no time for lust when I spent most of my day dancing. Training to be the best.”
“That must have been a lonely life.”
“I had my sisters with me.”
“The sisters you don’t always get along with,” he says.
“Does that matter? I wasn’t lonely.”
“You weren’t?”
His question hits me. Was I lonely? No. Ballet was everything to me.
“I could never be lonely with ballet.” That’s the truth. At least … that’s what I believe. I have to believe it because, otherwise, Aleksander will be right, and I cannot stand for that.
“That’s a little sad, isn’t it? Ballet can’t replace real human touch.” His hand slips to my inner thigh. I could smack his hand away, but I don’t. I’m not even sure why I don’t.
I just remain still.
“Maybe not. But it filled me with happiness. I don’t think you’ll ever fill me with happiness.”
He smirks. “I can fill you with something else.”
It takes me a moment to realize he made a dirty joke, which brings me back to my night with Akim. That man was vulgar and crass and wanted to hurt me in ways I’m not sure I can even imagine.
The feel of Aleksander’s hand on my leg only reminds me I’m at his mercy. If he wanted to take me right now and rip my virginity from me, he could.
I sit back and grab his hand, practically throwing it at him. “I’m not interested in being treated like a common whore. I am Viktoriya Morozova. I deserve more respect than this.”
“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He sounds sincere, but how sincere can he really be? Aleksander is a Bratva man. They’re all cut from the same cloth.
They’re all bad men.
“Well, you did. Keep your hands to yourself. I’m still hurting from my rib.” The urge to throw up hits me all over again. It would be so easy to do—to regain control over myself.
“Before you leave,” he says, “just know I have no interest in treating you like a whore. I just want you to experience the pleasure I can give you.”
I stand up. “I never asked for you to show me pleasure.” I start walking away when he speaks again.
“Lonely, indeed.”
I stop short, taking in his words. I know he’s speaking to me, but I don’t have any rebuttal.
The reason? Because I think he may be right.
I rush away before I can cry.
Sofiya invites Aleksander and me over to her house. I know what she’s doing—she wants to check in on me, probably to make sure I’m not screwing everything up.
I don’t understand how I’m under the control of my younger sister. I’m the oldest. I should be the one controlling everything.
“Don’t say anything to embarrass me,” I tell Aleksander as we head to the penthouse.
“I don’t want to embarrass you, Viktoriya. I just want you to start letting go.”
“To you? Never.” I knock on the door, and their housekeeper, Diana, answers.
“You’re here!” Mila says, rushing over and hugging me. I wince.
“Still a little in pain.”
“Sorry. I just missed you.”
“I’ve only been gone for a week,” I remind her.
“I know. But you’ve been in my life every day. It was strange not having you around. When Sofiya married, I still had you.”
Now, she has no one.
Sofiya and Mikhail come out of the kitchen to greet us. “How’s married life so far?” Sofiya asks, not hugging me, I notice.
“Boring,” I say.
Aleksander huffs and walks over to Mikhail.
“Trouble in paradise?” Sofiya asks me in a quieter voice.
“There was no paradise to begin with, so there’s no trouble. I just can't stand Aleksander. That’s all.” I can’t stand the way he touched me. The way he almost kissed me.
The way I almost let myself get lost in him.
Aleksander is not worthy of me and never will be.
“I hope it gets better,” Mila says. “I don’t want you to be miserable forever.”
A knock on the door makes me jump.
“Did you invite other guests?” I ask.
“No,” Sofiya says, frowning,
Diana opens the door, and …
Gleb strolls right on in.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Aleksander snarls. Mikhail places his hand on Aleksander’s chest, holding him back.
Gleb looks between all of us until his gaze finally settles on Mila. “I’m here to take what’s mine. Mila, let’s go.”
Mila freezes, her eyes wide like Bambi's. “What?”
“I was instructed to make sure you were taken care of after Boris died. Seeing as you don’t have a husband, I’m still in charge of you. I’m taking you with me back to New York.”
“You’re not taking her anywhere,” I growl, placing myself between her and Gleb. “You’ll have to go through me.” Aleksander glances at me, a surprised look on his face.
Gleb laughs, and it’s vile, sending a chill over my body. “I got rid of you easily before. I can do it again. Mila, come on.”
“Mikhail, do something,” Sofiya hisses.
He steps forward and places his hands on Gleb’s shoulders. “You shouldn’t be here. I told you if you showed your face again, I would kill you.”
“I’m not afraid of you, Mikhail. Mila belongs to me. You understand this. She doesn’t have a husband to protect her. It’s up to me to see she’s taken care of.”
“You’ll just sell her off like you sold me!” I scream.
Mikhail glances back at me, a sort of … pity on his face. “I hate to say it, but he’s right. He does have a claim to Mila.”
“No,” Sofiya says. “You can't do this, Mikhail. You can’t let him take her.”
He doesn’t respond.
A see red. Nothing but red.
I lunge for Gleb, ignoring the pain in my side, and rake my fingernails down his cheek. I manage to get a cut in before he winces and backs away.
“You sold me!” I shout. “You will not get my sister!”
“Mikhail, please,” Sofiya begs, getting on her knees. That’s the one thing I will never do. I will always remain standing, and I will always fight.
“If you don’t kill him,” Aleksander says, “I will.”
Mikhail turns back to Gleb. “Get the fuck out. Now.”
“I have a right to her,” Gleb says, pointing at Mila, who’s frozen in place.
Mikhail draws his gun and aims it at Gleb’s head. “Get out. Now.”
Gleb raises his hands and slowly backs out the door.
I don’t get the satisfaction of seeing him killed, but at least I have the satisfaction of seeing his scarred cheek. I did that.
I’m breathing heavily and jittery with too much emotion pent up inside me. I feel like a rabid dog.
Aleksander puts his hand on my shoulder, but I push him away from me. He remains by my side, gazing at me with his intense gaze. I hate his eyes. They’re too blue.
I slap him across the cheek.
The room goes silent.
He looks surprised, but he still doesn’t look away from me. “Viktoriya, you will calm down. You need to. I am telling you to.”
Slowly, my breathing goes from ragged to calm. How does Aleksander do that? Put me in a trance and make me do what he says. I am not an obedient woman.
I cannot be.
I wrap my arms around Mila’s shoulders and glare at Mikhail. “Were you actually just going to let Gleb take my sister away? What kind of man are you?”
“The kind that understands the rules of the Bratva,” Mikhail growls. “Mila does not belong to us. She belongs to Gleb.”
“She belongs to herself,” I say. “And she will be staying with me from now on. I don’t trust you to keep her safe from Gleb.”
“Vik,” Sofiya says, reaching out her hand, but I brush past.
“Come on. Let’s go.”
“No,” Aleksander says.
I stop. “What? We’re leaving.” I pull Mila in closer to me. “I have to keep my sister safe.”
“Mikhail and Sofiya invited us here to dine with them for the evening. We will do that. We will have a lovely meal, and then we’ll go home. Your sister won’t come with us. She will be safer here with Mikhail. He’s the leader of the Bratva. Gleb won’t try to come back again. He knows he’ll be killed.”
“Gleb sold me and then had the audacity to come here. He will try something again. Why are neither of you killing him?” I look between Aleksander and Mikhail. “You’re the men. But if you don’t kill him, I’ll do it myself. I already have blood on my hands. What’s a little more?”
“You are not going to do that,” Aleksander lectures.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re scared.”
I blink. “What?” I ask, but there’s no bravado in my voice. It only sounds small and tinny.
“You’re scared, Viktoriya.” He slowly approaches and unwraps my fingers from around Mila’s shoulders. “He hurt you. You’re scared of him. You’re acting out of fear. I will keep you safe. Mila will be safe. I need you to trust me.”
How can I?
“I don’t know how to trust any man anymore,” I admit. “I …”
“It’s ok,” he says in a softer voice. “You will be ok.”
Suddenly, I have the urge to just slump to the ground and never get back up again.
Aleksander must see the change in me because he smiles and says, “Let us eat.”
I do eat. And I enjoy every bite.
I can tell both Sofiya and Mila seem shocked to see me eat the way I am. Their looks bother me, giving me the urge to throw up again, but when I glance at Aleksander, his expression reminds me I’m all right.
That Gleb won’t steal me away in the night.
That I will be fine.
Once the meal is over, Mila and Sofiya pull me to the side to chat.
“Will you be ok?” I ask Mila.
“I’ll have to be. Thank you, Vik. For trying to protect me.”
“You know I always will.”
“We know,” Sofiya adds. The urge to throw up resides. Maybe my sisters and I will be ok.
“What’s going to happen between you and Mikhail?” I ask.
“We’ll have to be ok, too. But I’m not happy with how he handled the situation. I’m also not happy that he’s right. Gleb, within the rules of the Bratva, has a claim to you,” she says to Mila. “He has the right to take you.”
“We have to make sure that doesn’t happen,” I add, giving Mila my most encouraging smile.
Mila looks between us, and I see the hope behind her eyes.
I also see doubt.
That hurts more than anything—that my baby sister doesn’t think she’ll be all right in this world.
And there’s nothing I can really do to protect her myself.
Maybe Aleksander was right—maybe I am feeling out of control.
“You impressed me tonight,” Aleksander says on the drive home. “The way you didn’t hesitate to put yourself between Gleb and Mila. That took courage.”
My cheeks flush under his praise.
Then I clear my throat, promptly shoving that thought to the side. I don’t need his praise. I don’t want it.
“Do you think I’m that horrible of a human being that I wouldn’t help protect my sister?” I ask.
“I think you have walls up, and I want to help you bring them down.”
How do I tell him my walls are so high because I haven’t let anything breach them in years? I needed to be perfect to dance. I needed to be an example to my sisters. I needed to be sweet enough for my mother to like me and the best for my father to even look in my direction.
I needed to be perfect.
And I think it’s slowly killing me.
MILA
I can’t stop thinking of the icy way Gleb looked at me. It was as if he wanted to eat me alive.
Will I ever be safe in this world ruled by Bratva men?
The moment Vik leaves, I feel more hollow, like she took a piece of me. My brave older sister who has survived so much. Sofiya, too, has been through the wringer and made it out on the other end. She killed two men to protect me.
Both my sisters are killers now.
As for me, I feel like I’m an innocent lamb waiting to be slaughtered.
It takes a long time to fall asleep, and when I do, it’s dark and painless. An empty abyss.
So, when I’m woken up from it, I’m disoriented and can’t fully understand what I’m seeing. It looks like Gleb is in my bedroom.
But he … no. He can’t be here. Mikhail would have killed him if he tried sneaking inside.
Once my vision clears and my mind wakes up, I realize Gleb is in my bedroom.
I open my mouth to scream, but he clamps his hand over my mouth, stopping me. “Shh,” he whispers. Chills rack over my body. “You are coming with me.” He grabs a roll of duct tape from his pocket and slaps tape over my mouth before I can try to scream again.
“You will be my wife,” he growls as he drags me from my bed and to the window. Looking through it, I see a hanging scaffolding below. He must have snuck up on it and climbed through my window. Mikhail doesn’t have cameras stationed outside. He believes no one is stupid enough to mess with him.
Gleb is that man, which makes him frightening. He doesn’t care if he upsets Mikhail or Aleksander. He just wants me for himself.
He forces me over the edge and onto the scaffolding. “I can’t wait to marry you.”
That is the last thing I hear before the scaffolding starts going down, away from the penthouse.
Away from safety.
SOFIYA
“I know you’re upset with me,” Mikhail says. “But you know I was right.”
We sit up in bed, neither of us looking at each other, but at least we’re talking. Mikhail doesn’t shut me out like he used to.
“I know. But you also know I want nothing more in this world than to see both my sisters safe. If Gleb shows up again, you kill him. I don’t care if it’s in front of Mila. You kill him.”
“I will.” He takes my hand in his. “I promise. But you know it’s not your job to tell me what to do. I’ve been in charge for years, Sofiya. I can handle a little pest like Gleb.”
I know he can. That’s why I trust him.
That’s why I love him.
I’m settling into the bed when I hear a creaking sound from the hallway. Mikhail and I both sit up and share a look.
“I’ll check it out,” he says.
“I’ll check on Mila.” I hurry past him before he can stop me.
The hallway is empty. So, what caused that sound?
I open Mila’s door and look inside, only to have the fright of my life. Mila’s bed is empty, and her window is wide open. We’re on the top floor. The only way out is down.
No one could survive from that height.
I rush to the window and look out. Her body isn’t at the bottom, which is a good sign.
But that also meant she escaped, and I know Mila. She has no desire to leave the safety of our house.
Which means …
“Mikhail,” I say, turning to go to him, but he’s already in the room. “Gleb.”
He nods, knowing exactly what I mean.
VIKTORIYA
I get the call late in the night that Mila is missing.
Gleb took her.
“We have to go save her,” I say, getting out of bed. I don’t look at Aleksander’s naked chest as he gets up as well. Now is not the time to have confusing feelings for my husband.
I need to save my baby sister.
“No.” He takes the phone from me.
“What? Aleksander?—”
“I will save her. I will find her.”
“How are you going to find her?”
“I found you, didn’t I?” He starts slipping his clothes on.
“That was because I made it easy. But who knows where Gleb would have taken—” I stop again. “Oh my god. He might have taken her to the auction. He told me he wanted to marry me, but he also needed money. He’s greedy. A gambler. He might want more.”
“Do you know where this auction took place?”
“No. It was a building. I wouldn’t be able to pick it out of a lineup. But … I would know the location when I saw it. You have to let me come with you, just in case. I need to do this, Alek. She’s my sister.”
He blinks and slowly smiles. “You called me Alek.”
“So?”
“It was the first time.”
“So? We don’t have time for this. We need to find my sister.” I will not let him make me flush at the slip of his name. I didn’t mean to call him that. It just slipped out.
So, what does that say about me?
There’s no way I’m getting more comfortable with Aleksander. He still cannot be trusted.
But … “If you save my sister, maybe—and it’s a big maybe —I’ll start to trust you.”
“You don’t trust me now?” He sounds surprisingly hurt by this.
“I don’t trust anyone.”
“I know you don’t. Lonely, remember?”
“How can I be lonely with you bugging me all the time?” I brush past him, refusing to let his words affect me in any way. “Let’s just go save my sister.”
He doesn’t object. Only finishes getting dressed and walks out the door. I follow behind.
As we get into the car, it dawns on me—this is the first time we’ve ever worked together.
For the first time, I’m not alone in a dangerous situation.