Chapter 40
CHAPTER 40
NORTH CAROLINA
A dria dug her heels into the carpet. Pushing her shoulder against the shelf, she grunted, putting her weight into it. The large object slid six inches before catching on something and coming to a sudden halt. Taking a breath, she pushed again.
“Rearranging?” Eric asked.
She ignored him, pushing her shoulder into the shelf, feeling it turn.
“Let me help, Miss.”
“I can do it,” she said, rounding on him.
He stepped back.
Adria stuffed her hands into her pockets, trying to hide the shake.
“I’m sorry, it’s just a little harder than I thought,” she mumbled, motioning to the furniture.
Eric moved to the other side of the bookshelf. He pointed to the opposite wall, and she nodded.
Together, the two of them pushed the item until it was snug in its new home.
“I’m thinking about redoing the front garden,” she said .
Eric nodded. “Maybe now isn’t the best time to be redecorating every room in the house. Or the gardens.”
Her hands slid back into her pockets.
“The boys are on track, no?” she prompted.
She didn’t understand what Eric wanted from her. Everything was going exactly as they had planned.
Granted, she felt like a limp doll with no stuffing, but she was up and moving. What more did he want?
“Plus, you are doing a great job,” she said, picking up a stack of books and placing them on the shelf. “Thank you for picking up the slack by the way.”
“There is only so much I can do. The boys still need more, they need you,” Eric said.
She shook her head.
“No, they don’t. They need protocol. They need structure. And they can get that from anyone.”
“And Kaydon?”
Adria flinched.
Whenever she closed her eyes, she was plagued with images of Jonathan standing over him. Kaydon’s face pressed into the bench. Marks on his back where the bullwhip had broken skin.
They haunted her.
When Jonathan had started, Eric had tried to find her, but she was with Teo.
She hadn’t gotten there in time.
“What about Kaydon?” she asked, already knowing the answer.
“What happened to him, it isn’t something that just goes away with protocol. Or,” he gestured to the room, “rearranging furniture.”
She hated that he was right.
“Fine, I’ll talk to him,” she said.
Eric gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Next time you need something moved, call me, okay?”
Adria found Kaydon in the exercise room adjacent to their living quarters. She had heard from Eric that he spent a lot of time there.
Sweat glinted in the dim light as she watched him bench press a set of weights so large they barely fit on the bar.
Adria watched his muscles flex while his arms pumped up and down. His face twisted, his breath short.
She stepped into the room, saying, “I was eight when my father explained to me that one day I would run the Federov family.”
Kaydon’s hazel eyes flickered to her, but he continued his exercises.
“I didn’t fully understand the monumental nature of the title.” Adria’s mouth twisted. “Knowledge like that changes you.”
Kaydon stopped exercising, breathing heavily.
She caught his eyes in the mirror, and the two stared at each other’s reflections.
“I was four,” Kaydon said to her reflection.
Bryson had time. He was thirteen when his brother died. He had gotten an entire childhood before it was ripped from him. It wasn’t a competition of pain; it was a simple fact. Learning something like that at a young age affected her, and Adria was sure it had affected Kaydon as well.
He continued to stare at her. It couldn’t have been easy staying at the Winters’, living with that level of responsibility.
Adria didn’t talk about her childhood very often but something in the silence persuaded her to say more. Share more.
“In my father’s office that day, something happened. According to him, it was important that I learn what it meant to be a Federov.”
She shook her head, willing herself to continue. “It was a change so deep and intimate it infected my soul. Filling spaces I didn’t even know existed. A darkness that only relented when I accepted the truth.”
Kaydon stood.
“Which is?” he asked.
Grabbing a towel, he patted his arms and chest.
Steeling herself, Adria continued, “It can’t be cured. It’s part of you, and no matter how much you scrub, or sweat, it will be in there.”
Her voice trailed off at the end. She felt empty and full at the same time.
There, she had said it. She wasn’t there to sugarcoat it for him.
He deserved the truth.
“Do you know what Kintsugi is?” Kaydon asked.
She didn’t.
“It’s a Japanese tradition where broken pottery is repaired with gold or silver.”
Adria could see him behind her in the mirror.
“There is no attempt to hide the damage,” he continued.
She shivered as his body pressed against her back, but she didn’t shy away from the contact.
“And the object is made stronger in the repair.”
She could feel the heat from his body, smell the sweat on his chest. His hand pulled her hair away from her face, giving her a full view of their reflection.
“Why did you step in between me and Jonathan?” Kaydon’s stubble tickled the side of her face.
“I—” She paused, surprised by the question.
She tried to turn, but he put his hands on her arms, holding her there. She watched him stare at her reflection from over her shoulder .
“When my parents died, I went to stay at the Winters’,” Kaydon said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“I know,” she replied.
His fingers traced idly along her arm. “I hated authority and pushed things to the extreme every chance I got.”
A smirk pulled at his lips, lopsided, teasing, but his voice held something deeper.
Adria arched a brow. “You don’t say.”
He exhaled a quiet laugh but didn’t look away. Didn’t let her go.
“A few months after I ascended to Bryson’s Right Hand, I was driving a motorcycle. Showing off.”
Her reflection flickered in the mirror, their bodies so close.
“The turn came up fast, and before I knew it, I was tumbling on the pavement. That stunt earned me a dislocated shoulder and some other minor injuries.”
Adria studied his face.
“Bryson and I didn’t get along then. We were friends as kids, but after his brother died, something changed. He pulled away. I acted out. But when I wrecked that bike, he still covered for me.”
Kaydon pulled her hand to his mouth.
“Told his father I was protecting him from some drunk punks on Tenth Avenue.”
His lips brushed the space between her pointer and middle finger—where Crest’s bullwhip had curled into her skin. The mark was faint, but it was there.
Her pulse jumped.
“Sometimes you don’t know you’re drowning until someone reaches out and pulls you above the water.”
Her breath caught. Not at his words, but at the way he looked at her when he said them.
Like he saw her.
She yanked her hand back. “You don’t know me. ”
Her voice came out sharper than intended.
But Kaydon didn’t flinch. Didn’t pull away.
“I know you put your body on the line.”
He spun her—so fast, so effortless,—and suddenly, they were face-to-face.
His slick, bare chest burning against her corset-clad body, the heat of him making her stomach tighten.
“I know the darkness you’re talking about,” he said, his face so close that she could feel the words against her lips.
Adria swallowed.
Her breath was unsteady. She could feel the moment tilting, shifting—becoming something she wasn’t ready for.
But Kaydon wasn’t done. “When my shoulder healed, I was different.”
His voice wasn’t teasing now.
“We shatter. And we put ourselves back together. Stronger.”
She huffed a quiet laugh. “Eric thought you might be having a hard time.”
His fingertips skimmed the side of her face, and she held her breath.
“I love life,” he said simply. “I’m not about to let one experience cheat me out of it.”
His eyes—those deep, autumn eyes—held something solid. Something unshakable.
Not na?ve. Not reckless. Just…him.
She arched into his body, just slightly. Feeling the thrum of his heartbeat against hers.
“So, you’re okay?” she asked, the question barely audible.
Kaydon let out a full laugh, his body shaking against hers.
“Fuck no. ”
But when the laughter faded, he added softly, “But I will be.”
Her gaze fell to the floor, words forming before she could stop them. “Eric was worried.”
Kaydon’s fingers curled under her chin, tilting her head up.
He studied her. Searched her.
“Maybe I wasn’t the person Eric was worried about.”
Her chest squeezed—too tight, too much.
And then, he let her go.
He stepped back, just slightly, but it was enough.
Cold air filled the space where his warmth had been.
She should have been relieved.
Instead, she fought the ridiculous, impossible, dangerous urge to chase him.
“I’m going to find a way to repay you,” Kaydon said.
She shook her head. “You do not owe me anything.”
He smirked, stepping back again. “Sure thing, boss.”
His voice was light, teasing—but his eyes?
His eyes weren’t teasing at all.
“But we both know how often I follow directions.”