Chapter 2
SINNERS AND SAINTS GROUP CHAT
AXEL
Jace: Dude, WTF? You’re moving in with a woman? YOU? *head exploding emoji*
Blake: Did you lose a bet? Get blackmailed? Suffer a traumatic brain injury?
Ryker: Wait, WHAT?
Jace: Scarlett just told me. She’s already making a Pinterest board for housewarming gifts.
Blake: This is the kind of thing you tell your best friends about. IN PERSON. With scotch.
Ryker: You’re moving in with someone? What’s next, matching Christmas sweaters?
Jace: Not just anyone … Knox’s sister.
Ryker: *skull emoji* Seriously? I thought you two hated each other with the fire of a thousand suns. Didn’t she once call you Satan’s disappointment of a son?
Blake: And didn’t you retaliate by putting her number on Craigslist as someone selling a “gently used hot tub” for $50?
Ryker: Does Knox know? He might bust out of prison just to kick your ass. *laughing emoji*
Me: It’s temporary. And fake.
Ryker: The hell does that even mean? How does one FAKE move in with someone?
Jace: Are you going to fake argue about who left fake dishes in the fake sink?
Me: Long story. Shouldn’t put it in writing.
Ryker: You shouldn’t put it in WRITING? Should I start gathering bail money?
Jace: We have something more urgent. We’ve all been volun-told to help Dakota move into Axel’s place tomorrow. *annoyed emoji*
Ryker: AGAIN? My back still has PTSD from Tessa’s bookcase.
Jace: Did you know there’s this revolutionary service called MOVERS? People show up with a truck, do all the work, and you just cut a check.
Blake: But then we’d miss the joy of watching Axel and Dakota try not to murder each other while handling fragile objects.
Me: You don’t have to go.
Jace: Scarlett says otherwise.
Me: If you guys aren’t going to listen to me, then go text yourselves in your own damn chat.
Ryker: Where’s the carefree Axel who once convinced an entire bar he was the heir to a maple syrup empire? That guy was fun. This guy sounds like he needs fiber supplements.
Me: He’s currently pissed off about a PR crisis that someone else created.
Blake: Dude, you really know how to pick ’em. Of all the women at that gala, you had to flirt with America’s sweetheart.
Me: Fuck all the way off and keep going.
Jace: If this is Axel’s attitude, Blake, bring your medical bag tomorrow. We might need sedatives.
Me: I won’t be there. Dakota’s moving circus is hers alone.
Blake: You don’t know Tessa and Scarlett very well if you think this is optional. They’re like the Mafia, but with better outfits and more efficient methods of torture.
Me: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Ryker: They’ll probably make you wear a World’s Best Fake Boyfriend T-shirt while you move boxes.
Jace: See you tomorrow at 9. Bring coffee. And donuts. And leave the attitude at home.
Blake: [GIF of person being dragged away, screaming, “NOOOO!”]
Jace: Anyone taking bets on how long before Dakota and Axel try to kill each other? I’ve got $50 on before lunch.
Ryker: $100 says Axel cracks first.
Blake: You’re on. Dakota’s got hidden depths. My money’s on her.
Me: I hate all of you.
Jace: Love you too, bro. *kissing emoji*