Chapter 47
WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER, JUST TAKE A DEEP brEATH. #NOTURNINGBACK
DAKOTA
“It’s simple.” Rebecca’s voice crackled through the phone, her words as artificially sweet. “The brand reps have empathy for you having been attacked. Just go online, showcase some products, and show them you’re still reliable. They’ll be watching. Make it perfect, and you’ll be home free.”
Home free. As if free was a word that could ever describe the gilded cage I’d built around myself.
The truth was, this fake engagement with Axel was just the most recent and outrageous lie in a long catalog of deceptions. I’d been lying to my followers—hell, lying to myself—for so long, I sometimes couldn’t remember what truth even felt like anymore.
My gaze swept across my studio in Axel’s penthouse.
The symphony of beauty lights, positioned at mathematically perfect angles.
The expensive camera, mounted on its tripod.
The rack, bursting with designer clothes I’d been “gifted” to showcase.
My entire life, curated into a perfect, pore-less fantasy.
And I was so goddamn tired of it.
With trembling fingers, I grabbed the ring light and unceremoniously unplugged it.
The shadows immediately crawled across my face in the mirror.
Shadows I normally edited away with filters and strategic lighting.
I dragged my phone holder to the other side of the room, where the unforgiving afternoon light would expose every imperfection.
This is it. No going back.
I activated the live camera on my social media app, heart hammering against my ribs like it was trying to escape. One deep breath. Then another. Before I could talk myself out of it, I pressed the blinking red button.
Live.
Immediately, notification pings erupted from my iPad with followers streaming in, curious about this unscheduled appearance from @DakotaFox. A cold sweat broke out across my back as the viewer count ticked upward.
“Hi,” I said, my voice smaller than I intended. I cleared my throat and straightened my shoulders. “It’s Dakota here. I have a major confession to make.”
My iPad buzzed angrily on the nightstand. Undoubtedly our PR team already in panic mode.
“Trust me, it’s not something you’re going to want to miss,” I continued, ignoring the vibrations. “But to do this right, I’m not going to stand here with my meticulous makeup in this outfit.”
I backed away from the camera, gesturing to the designer dress clinging to my curves like a second skin.
“Let’s talk about this outfit for a moment.
” My fingertips traced the intricate beadwork along the neckline.
“This dress was donated by a top designer and then custom-tailored to fit every curve of my body. The fabric is high-end, the stitching is meticulous, and the tailoring enhances the shape of my body while hiding the imperfections.”
I turned slowly, letting the light catch on the expensive material.
“Any one of you would look like a million dollars if you wore the same dress and it was tailored to fit you perfectly. But the truth is, this dress makes my body look a lot better than it does in real life, so I’m going to change. Stick with me, and I’ll be right back.”
I grabbed a pair of worn gray sweats and a plain white tank top from my drawer—clothes that never made appearances on my feed—and hurried down the hall.
As I peeled off the designer dress, it felt like shedding a skin I’d outgrown.
The soft cotton of the tank slid over my head, the familiar sweats loose around my hips.
For the first time in months, I could breathe.
When I returned to the camera, the viewer count had exploded to 10,000. Comments bubbled frantically at the bottom of the screen, a chaotic stream of questions about Axel, about the “big confession,” about a million things I couldn’t focus on. I swiped the comments away with a flick of my finger.
“By now, you may have heard rumors that I’ve been faking an engagement to Axel.” Thanks, Mathew, for posting a smear campaign. I’d decided I’d wanted to come clean on my own, but he’d beaten me to it. Ironically, most of my followers didn’t believe him, so I could have easily denied it.
I grabbed a brush and began dismantling the perfect waves in my hair. Waves that had taken an hour to create this morning. With quick, almost-violent movements, I scraped my hair into a messy bun on top of my head, making no effort to fix the stray strands jutting out at odd angles.
“People have accused me of staging this public whirlwind engagement to save face from a mistake I made.” I paused, meeting my own eyes in the phone screen. “I’m here to tell you … it’s absolutely true.”
The viewer count skyrocketed as I gathered cotton pads and makeup remover from my dresser. My hands weren’t shaking anymore. There was something almost freeing in finally saying it out loud.
Luckily, Axel’s deal had already been inked.
After the disaster at dinner, Frank and Carl had reached out to him.
Not to back out, but to check on me after what happened.
When Axel apologized for the evening, he’d apparently been completely honest about his feelings for me, how much he wanted this to work between us.
But then he’d shifted gears. He told them he understood if they had reservations about him personally, but that he’d never let the vulnerable people in the prison system down.
This wasn’t just business to him. The passion fueled everything he did, and something about his raw honesty in that moment convinced them the opportunity was too solid to pass up.
Especially when they went over the numbers again.
Plus, they’d gotten an unsettling glimpse of Mathew that night.
The way he’d baited Axel, that calculated malice in his smile.
Oh, and let’s not forget hiring a PI. Holy creepy.
They’d started asking questions about their new employee, and apparently, they didn’t love what they were hearing.
In any case, I didn’t have to worry about sabotaging Axel’s deal with what I was about to do. If not for that, I might not have the courage to do the right thing.
“I’ve been lying to everyone,” I continued, dipping a pad in makeup remover and bringing it to my eye.
The cold liquid seeped through my lashes.
“I did it because the repercussions of my mistake weren’t confined to me.
They put my family in jeopardy, and I was willing to do whatever it took to protect them. ”
I dragged the cotton across my eyelid, watching as the expertly applied shadow transferred from my face to the white pad, now smeared with bronze and gold and black.
“But I went about it all wrong. What I should have done was simply come online, apologize, and accept whatever consequences came my way. You all deserved honesty, not a cover-up.”
With one eye completely bare, I grabbed a fresh pad for the other. The asymmetry of my reflection was jarring: half the carefully constructed Dakota Fox, half the woman beneath.
The viewer count had surged to 55,000. My iPad pinged relentlessly.
“The truth is, I’ve known Axel for a long time.” My voice softened at his name, an involuntary tell I hoped no one would notice. “The night I posted that picture of him online, I never meant to post it publicly. But that doesn’t change that it was mean-spirited, fueled by alcohol and jealousy.”
I swallowed hard, forcing myself to continue.
“I was jealous that Axel was giving that woman attention. I was jealous because I wanted to be that woman.” The admission burned my throat like whiskey. “Rather than admit that to myself or my friends, it was easier and less painful to tell myself that he was a bad guy. A playboy with no heart.”
My makeup-free eyes stared back at me from the screen, vulnerable and exposed.
“It was a narrative I’d told myself for longer than I can remember.”
I grabbed the phone holder and brought it into the bathroom with me, propping it on the counter. The harsh angle of lighting was merciless, highlighting every pore, every freckle, every slight discoloration I normally concealed.
“If this public relations nightmare had only impacted me,” I said, running water over a washcloth, “I’d like to tell you that I would’ve done the right thing, taken responsibility, and apologized.”
The cloth turned warm in my hands as I worked soap into a lather. I pressed it against my face, feeling the weight of it against my skin.
“But the truth is, I don’t know what I would’ve done,” I admitted, my voice partially muffled by the cloth. “I’ve spent years creating this social media company, and I don’t know if I would’ve had the courage to take responsibility if doing so jeopardized everything I’d built.”
I scrubbed the skin around my lips, feeling the cool air against my wet skin like a baptism in honesty. Foundation transferred to the white cloth, staining it the artificial tan that I’d passed off as my natural complexion.
“Regardless, my mistake hurt Axel. It hurt my family. And it jeopardized their businesses.” I met my increasingly bare face in the mirror, forcing myself not to flinch. “To all of my viewers, companies I’ve worked with, to Axel, to my family and friends, I sincerely apologize.”
I moved the cloth down to my neck, where the line between my makeup and natural skin had always been carefully blended. Now, that separation was exposed, a literal line between truth and fiction.
“Once the lie started, others started building on top of it like a house of cards, and suddenly, I felt like there was no way out.” My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat.
“My family has been through a lot, and if my social media business failed, it would affect them.” I wiped my face dry with a clean towel, patting gently at skin that felt raw and new.
Moving my phone holder back to the dresser and the unforgiving light, I sat down, letting the shadows reveal the darker side of me I’d kept hidden.