Chapter 5
Five
Vivian
The first thing I feel when I wake up is the pack bond. It feels complete and whole, like we're not being stretched too thin anymore. Relief keeps the pain at bay for a long moment, and it's like I can finally breathe again.
Just knowing my mates are close gives me so much comfort.
It also makes me realize with horrific clarity how unhinged I was while we were apart.
I was held captive and did everything in my power to cause myself harm.
Anger and fire were my driving force, but now, surrounded by love and healing, I don't recognize the woman I was in that cage.
Eyes closed, awake for a few minutes, and I'm already feeling bogged down by the choices I made. They're going to be so angry when they find out how I behaved.
On the other hand, I feel like I did everything I should have. I wouldn't change a thing because there's no way I would give myself and my submission to an unknown alpha on a fucked up power trip.
Hopefully Kade, Silas, and Jarek won't be upset about my actions and choose to be happy I'm alive and safe. But I know them. There's a lesson they will want to spank into my poor ass for how reckless I was with my life.
Riot has already threatened to spank me, and he's not even my bonded alpha. RIOT!
"Riot?" My throat feels like it's working overtime to just get the simple name out, but I force it. I have to see him and know he's okay. Opening my eyes, I wince at the bright lights and dryness of the air.
Before I squeeze them shut again, Jarek's there, leaning down so we're inches apart. "Shh, Butterfly. It's alright. Kade and I are here." He reads the panic and confusion on my face, then quickly adds, "Silas is with Riot in the room next door. Everyone's okay and resting. I'll get Silas."
Worry claws up my throat when Jarek pulls back. I risk hurting myself as I reach out to keep him with me. "No," I whisper and pull on him again. Gosh, I could climb into his skin and not be close enough. "Need you."
My hindbrain fully rises to the surface as I acknowledge that I need help. Jay's lavender scent weighs me down gently, and his tether hugs around my torso, cocooning me in his love and support.
"I'm here, Vivie," he whispers, and bends down to nuzzle his face into my neck. His scent marking and proximity make me even sleepier.
Then Kade's whiskey scent wakes me up. When the gentle caress of my pack alpha soothes my anxious thoughts, I blink my bleary eyes back open.
"Hi, little Omega," Kade croons, hovering over Jarek's shoulder with so much feeling in his features that I break. Kade's eyes widen and his mouth drops open when a sob explodes out of me.
Everything from the kicks and slaps to the depth of loneliness and fear I experienced slams into me over and over again. Jarek curses, hugging me and holding the back of my head.
Sweat builds beneath my arms and lower back as I grit my teeth through the pain in my side. It feels as if each tremble, tear, sob, and wince that I didn't allow myself to experience in captivity is demanding release.
"SILAS!" Kade bellows, making me jolt and cry out. "Fuck, I'm calling a doctor."
"Don't call a fucking doctor," Silas snaps, and I swear my heart fills with pure joy and hope as my beta rushes into the room. "Just don't make her jump anymore. We'll call one once we've had a moment to hug her, damn it."
"S-S-Silas," I whimper, reaching my left hand out for him. My chest pounds with the ferocity of my heartache and relief at seeing my mates again.
"Vivie," Silas breathes, collapsing onto his knees beside the bed. "I love you so, so much. We'll get through this, okay?"
"You're strong and brave. Fucking resilient," Kade adds, placing a trembling hand on my thigh over the blankets. His heat still penetrates, warming me in the way only his dominance and guidance can.
Their words are enough to help me breathe around the sobs that still feel like they're punching my lungs. I am strong and brave. I'm resilient too.
"You're not alone anymore, either."
Gasping, I lift my head and dislodge Jarek. Behind Silas and Kade stands a pale and shaky Riot. "Riot," I breathe so quietly it sounds like a whimper.
"You have your pack again. You'll be okay now, Firefly," he says, but it sounds so pained more tears spring to my eyes.
"Ri—" I swallow, trying like hell to get my words to work. "I was never alone. I had you..." How can he say I was alone? We went through that hell together.
I swear his eyes lose focus for a moment, but he blinks and breaks my heart. "I did nothing to help you, Vivian. You saved us. You."
How do I get him to see that I need him too? He's my alpha. I know he is, even if what we created was forged in trauma and rage. "Need you, Alpha," I plead, trying to sit up.
Jarek, Silas, and Kade hold me in place. The boneless feeling sends my anxiety skyrocketing. So much so that I do the only thing I can think of and yank on the buzzing bond around my arm.
Need you, need you, need you! Don't let go!
The last thing I see before everything goes dark is Riot's eyes widening then rolling into the back of his head. What did I do?