Chapter 18
Eighteen
Vivian
Iwoke with my throat burning, and my eyes wet with tears. Thankfully, I caught the nightmare before it alerted my pack, and I somehow managed to slip out of the nest without waking anyone.
I've become a pro at sneaking away to spend the tough nights with Riot. He expects me at this point, and his welcoming smile when I come down the stairs chases the chill away.
Coming out of the basement bathroom with only his new fleece pajama pants on and his arms raised to dry his hair with a towel, we both stop in our tracks when we see each other. My breath stutters and tingles race from the top of my head to my toes.
"Movie tonight, Firefly?" Riot murmurs, stepping toward me, eyes sparking with something I can't see with the distance between us. His scent says it all. The masculine shampoo won't ever be able to overpower an alpha's arousal.
I nod, even though I can't quite remember what he asked me. Holy shit, the energy is charged. Maybe I should go back to bed. It's been two weeks since we got home, and I've never experienced this between me and Riot. It's electric.
The longer I stare at him, the more the tension in his body rises. He feels this too. A low growl rumbles the space between us, snapping my spine to attention. "Vivian, go sit on the couch."
Thank fuck. Blowing out a breath of relief, I turn on my heel and practically run to the couch. My nose and body perk up at the metallic fresh scent on the cushions, and my omega urges me toward a blanket that smells of Riot.
The TV clicks on, but I'm busy creating the perfect snuggle nest. It's presumptuous and not a good idea, but my instincts are pushing me hard. My alpha needs to see I can make us a nice place to rest. I must show him I'm a good omega.
I feel him standing above me more so than I see it.
There are so many pillows to choose from, and my big sweatshirt feels itchy.
Huffing, I rip the bulky thing off and sigh at the cool air ghosting over my bare skin.
My tank top and silky shorts are perfect, but this fat pillow has got to go.
Yeeting it across the room, I get back to work.
"Careful," Riot reprimands with a chuckle. "You'll break something."
On my hands and knees, I shove a weakly scent marked blanket into the deep crack in the back and layer a pillow over it.
Something's missing. There's nothing I want to change except for one thing. One person.
My neck creaks as I whip my head around to find Riot.
"Easy, little Omega. I'm right here." Crouched mere inches away, he watches me with so much affection, I practically melt. Gesturing to my mini nest, I wait for him to either get in or say something.
My omega purrs inside my head when he actually takes it all in. It's not just a glance; he cares. "Is this for me?" he asks with whispered awe. I nod and I swear it brings tears to his eyes. "Thank you, Omega. It's perfect. May I join you?"
"Yes, Alpha."
A full-body shudder pulls a low groan from him. "Before I join you in our nest, I need you to know my intentions. I've had a long while to think, and it's time I share with you. Especially now that you've made such a beautiful space for us."
My head cocks to the side. We can talk in my nest. He reaches for my knee and caresses me so sweetly I do purr this time.
"I'm your alpha, and you're my omega." My chest cracks a little when he squeezes his good eye shut as if he's in pain. "I have some walls up that make it hard for me to truly believe this, but I need you to know I'm going to fight like hell to open myself up to you and your—our—pack."
I can't control my frown. How do I ask him why he's so closed off when I can't speak? I'm stuck feeling anxious and uncertain in this moment, but I need to know.
Taking his hand in mine, I give him a little tug. Chuckling, he stands and seats himself in the corner of the sectional with his legs sprawled out on the cushions. Kneeling on the other side, I begin tucking him in, but pause when he watches me silently.
Frustrated, more so with myself, I purse my lips and wave a hand at him. "What?" he questions, confused.
My chest tightens further, and my eyes burn with tears. I open my mouth and try to force the words but nothing happens. Between the nightmare, the tension between us, building him our first nest, and his admission, I'm trapped.
"Hey," he murmurs, sitting up straighter and frowning. "Don't force it. Can you gesture? If you need something, just take it, Firefly. I'm right here."
Fidgeting for a moment, heat blooms on my cheeks. Then I move because if I want him to open up to me, I need to be vulnerable too. I slip a knee over his lap and settle into a comfortable straddle position on his thighs.
Riot's jaw clenches and his hands land on my hips with a soft squeeze. "I wasn't expecting that, but I fucking love it," he rumbles.
My clit pulses and I grin. As much as I want to tease him and build our physical connection, I need reassurance and answers more. I tap a finger on his lips and use my other hand to mime talking.
"You want me to say something?" I nod. "About what?"
I press a hand over his heart.
A shuddering sigh falls from his mouth. The eyepatch doesn't take away from the despair entering his gaze. His damp black hair hanging over it makes him look even sadder too. His sharp jawline and muscly bare chest are a physical representation of how strong he is, though. Mentally.
"I grew up in a group home, and unfortunately that's the easiest part to say," he shares, taking comfort in running his fingers through my hair that reaches his stomach. "My parents were murdered by a group similar to the one that kidnapped you."
A gasp is yanked from my trembling body, and my hands reach for his face. I need to hold him, to comfort him in any way I can. "Alpha..."
His breath hitches. Smiling sadly, he presses a kiss on the inside of my palm that cradles the uninjured side of his face.
"All I cared about was surviving. I was an angry kid with no one to love me.
Vivian, I'm not used to this. I know nothing about pack life or falling in love with someone let alone multiple people. It was never my plan."
My confusion must be obvious because he immediately jumps to explain.
"When I was young, I wrote off having a family.
I was bullied, so I learned how to fight and defend myself.
I took on the role of protecting the younger kids too.
My life has been a constant battle, and I never allowed myself time to hope for anything more than protecting the vulnerable from monsters like the ones who stole my life from me. "
This man…he's sacrificed his potential happiness to save people who were in danger. "Riot," I whimper and shift so our bodies mold together. Ignoring his hard cock is difficult, but the awe and pride I have for the alpha beneath me is stronger than my desire.
His eye ping pongs between mine like he's trying to figure out what I'm thinking. "Please don't pity me, Firefly. I've lived how I chose to. I'm just trying to tell you why I've been closed off and blind to what's right in front of me. I never thought I'd find you..."
"But you did," I say, needing to know if he'll acknowledge me. Accept us.
He nods and licks his lips. "I'm not perfect, Vivian. I'll make mistakes, but I'm yours if you'll have me."
It's no wonder he hid himself away in the basement when we first got home. Riot isn't used to being surrounded by people who want him around. This is new for him, and being on the other side of reassuring a mate that they're wanted is new for me too.
"Please stay," I whisper and wrap my arms around his neck. I'll never be able to force him to stay, but I'll beg. We may argue and push each other's buttons, but I think we've both come to realize we are far more than what can be seen on the outside.
Riot hums and nods. "I'm staying." He pulls me closer with a hand on my jaw. "Can I kiss you?"
I'm nodding before he even finishes his sentence.
A spark of something in the bond distracts me for a moment as his lips touch mine.
Fire licks up my spine, urging my back to arch and press my tits against his bare chest. There's barely anything between us, and as much as I love feeling his cock twitch against my pussy, we can't rush this.
After everything we've been through together and before that, we owe it to ourselves to savor the feeling of finding love in each other. The pull back is mutual, and it makes me smile. We're on the same page.
The flare of surprise in his gaze surprises me. "Did you feel that?" he whispers in awe. I shrug because I don't know. I feel a lot of things in the bond and I've been open to it for a long time. "Firefly, I think I felt you. I knew when to pull back because I held your emotion like it was mine."
He has a lot to get used to. Instead of warning him it will get stronger once we complete our bond, I nuzzle my cheek against his jaw and purr with appreciation for scent marking him.
The low drone of the TV settles us together, but I can feel his tether hugging and vibrating around my arm like he's testing it out. He's trying.