18. Thanatos
Chapter 18
Thanatos
Celia’s scream echoes as she falls from a platform two stories high, my heart leaping to my throat at the way her body drops like a stone. My youngest brother stands at the top, shirtless and damn near glowing in the gentle spotlight, his skin pale despite the scars on his body. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that he was Lucifer himself, already having rended the wings from his flesh and cast them aside, now watching his chosen prey fall from grace, damned by his touch.
I don’t wish ill will on any of my brothers, but there’s a layer of hell made for men like us—especially for a man like Ruin.
Tormenting girls just to hear them scream can’t be a kink that goes unpunished, especially when she pleaded with his name on her lips.
Ruin, please!
I clench my eyes shut and shake her voice from my head, knowing that it will join the rest of the sounds catalogued in my brain. The bubble of her laughter. The gut-wrenching way she sobs. And now, the cutting edge of her screams, slicing through my heart like a knife.
I wouldn’t say that Celia Monrovia deserves my brothers’ torment, but for better or worse, they chose her… and she keeps choosing them. Over and over again, crawling into their beds, accepting their kisses, demanding their sacrifices— oh, yes , claiming Celia comes at a price that I don’t think my brothers realize they’re paying.
The three of them are lost, falling in love with a woman they have no business getting attached to.
The problem is that I might be falling with them.
I don’t want to love anyone else. The three or four people who share the title of loved one —all of which I consider family, including Ezra Reinoff—have earned that title on account of saving my life and each other’s.
Celia Monrovia has done neither of those things, yet she has poisoned my body to react to hers on a cellular level. When she screams, the hairs on my arms raise, and all I want to do is run towards her and catch her in my arms.
It’s stupid, because there’s a fucking net waiting to catch her, but I want it to be me. I want to be the one to fold her in my arms and kiss her tears away, and the urge to sweep her off of her dainty little feet and carry her to safety is so strong that I have to bar myself from interfering. I wrap my fists around a metal rung of a nearby ladder and grit my teeth as she bounces on her back into the net, choking on her fear as it consumes her.
My brother, ever the dramatist, jumps after her, leaping from thirty feet in the air. He’s fucking crazy, too. Everything about this situation is insane. I never expected to walk through that door and find them together, nor did I expect to witness them having sex.
That’s the last thing I ever, ever thought I’d find.
In truth, I wanted to catch her alone.
As always, I was too late.
Too late to win her heart before her ex-husband shattered it to pieces.
Too late to stop my brothers from claiming her for themselves.
Too late to protect her from their wicked intentions.
Because the moment she and Ruin tumble together in the middle of the net, I already know that she’s theirs. She has been since the moment I met her in my bedroom; only then, I was too blind to see past my prejudice over who I thought she was to learn who my brothers had really fallen for.
Someone beautiful.
Someone damaged.
Someone that can’t be mine.
I’m not a fool—I’ve seen the question in Rage’s eyes when he catches me watching her. He wants to know how I’m feeling towards her. I haven’t forgotten that punch to the face a few weeks ago—he won’t let me hurt her, and for good reason.
I can be a real asshole.
But I catch myself in these moments with her—electrically charged, dangerous escalations that push my limits—and know that if given the chance, if my strength wanes, if she says anything to tip the scales between us—I’ll fold.
Completely.
I take a breath as the sound of Celia’s laughter, bright and loud and so full of life, fills the room. She’s riding on the adrenaline high from the fall, and it’s not me who’s there to catch her—it’s my brother, the biggest grin on his face as he rolls on top of her.
That is why I can’t pursue Celia Monrovia.
Because I would be taking away from my brothers’ joy.
Ruin reaches for a knife that is no longer attached to his hip. I whistle, pull a hidden switchblade from my boot, and flash it in the air over my head. Once he’s caught on, I toss it towards him, and he catches it midair. Then he’s carving through Celia’s bindings, quickly cutting away the silk wrapped around her ankles and thighs to spread them apart.
I swallow hard as her laughter quickly turns into moans, breathless little sounds that go straight to my heart. And my dick. I squeeze my cock through the front of my dress pants, shuddering at the sound of Ruin’s fingers inside of Celia’s wet pussy.
She’s gushing , and although I can’t see it from this angle, I can hear it—the way she desires Ruin as much as she desires the others.
It’s fucked up that I’m so goddamn jealous about it.
I scrub a hand down my face, but I can’t turn around. I can’t walk away. My feet move on their own, bringing me closer to them, the carnal need to watch her unravel clouding my judgement. This isn’t consensual; she doesn’t know that I’m here, but I can’t look away.
I want to be in my brother’s place.
Badly.
The net digs into her skin, no doubt marking her body more than the silk ever could. It’s only a few feet over my head, dipping in the center where they lay, giving me a perfect view of her ass, her shoulders, the arch of her back—and of Ruin’s face staring at me from between her thighs. His nostrils flare, but he doesn’t say anything, still burying his fingers inside of her slick cunt. The sound is even more exquisite from up close, and her voice—tiny cries pierce the air with each breath she takes, making my cock swell even harder.
My earpiece clicks as either Rage or Ruin catch on. “What’s that sound?” Rage asks. “Where are you?”
I stare up at Celia and Ruin, the flash of jealousy for my youngest brother quickly turning into possessiveness to keep this moment to ourselves. We don’t need a bigger audience.
“Than? Did you find Celia?”
“I bet Ruin has her,” Rebel sighs dreamily. “Man, I’d pay to see that.”
“Are you with them?” Rage’s voice is thick with tension. “Are you watching them?”
A bead of sweat drips down my back. Am I that easy to read?
“I know you saw us the other day,” Rage continues, louder. “I know that you want her, too.”
Rebel chuckles. “You’re not exactly subtle.”
What is this, roast Thanatos hour?
Ruin dips his head between Celia’s thighs and lifts her leg higher for better access to her sweet center. Fuck me . He’s going to be as ravenous as the rest of them now that he’s had a taste.
Celia’s voice pitches higher as she writhes over my head. “Ohmygod,” she cries, “ Ruin! ”
“That was her!” Rebel cheers, laughing. “Fuck me, man. She must be loud. ” A pause, then, “Tell us where you are. It’s not fair for you to keep it a secret.”
I swallow hard as Celia’s cries grow in intensity, my dick damn near breaking my zipper open. I take steady breaths as she finally comes, her moan so loud that my balls draw up. Hissing through my teeth, I shove my hand down my pants and squeeze my dick at the base to keep from coming. I shouldn’t have the discipline of a goddamn teenager, for fuck’s sake.
With a growl, I calm the raging hormones trying to tear open the floodgates, successfully keeping my baser instincts at bay. Exhaling harshly, I clench my eyes shut and try to shake myself out of it.
My cock refuses to listen, standing at full attention and forcing me to consider the alternative: rubbing one out really quickly.
Celia takes deep breaths above me. “Don’t ever do that again,” she tells Ruin. I can picture her glaring at him, her cheeks all flushed with equal parts embarrassment and satisfaction. She wiggles to try to free her hands. “You bit me!”
Grunting, Ruin cuts through the knot at her wrists and loosens the ribbon. “You liked it.”
I should move.
I should really, really move.
She’s going to roll over and see me. She’ll scream all over again at the depraved pervert jerking off to the sound of her voice, unable to stop himself as he strokes his fat cock to the fantasies in his head of her slamming down on his cock, her tits bouncing with each hard thrust of his hips, pistoning in and out at breakneck speed, ready to fucking explode?—
The tiniest sound catches in my throat as I come all over my fist, like I’ve done a hundred times now, catching my load in my boxers like the fucking animal I am. My cock softens, but only marginally, my balls aching for another release.
Fuck me.
One isn’t enough anymore. I need to bust two goddamn loads to empty my balls. I suck in a breath, still agonizing over my situation, when Celia suddenly rolls onto her side.
Our eyes meet through the net.
She gasps like she’s the one caught masturbating to her brothers’ lover, not the other way around. “Th-Thanatos!” she shrieks, stumbling as she tries and fails to move. The net dips with every push of her hands and knees, with Ruin sitting back, content to watch her struggle.
I tear my eyes away from the teeth marks on her tits to stare into the distance, then at the hand still buried in my pants. Shit. I quickly extricate my hand with a grimace and, without thinking, wipe the cum on my pant leg. “I, uh, came to find you.”
Ruin suddenly snaps the sharp end of the knife against the holes in the net, quickly cutting themselves free. Celia shrieks as she falls straight into my arms, slamming against my chest. I catch her easily, ensuring that she isn’t injured from damn near slamming into the floor. Her warmth is a welcome balm to the ache in my heart—if only for a moment. She jerks away from me as soon as her feet touch the ground. Unsteadily, she tumbles backward into Ruin’s chest, my younger brother snaking his arms around her waist the moment their bodies collide.
“You—What are you doing here? Why were you—” Celia’s eyes flick down to my crotch, her face burning deep crimson.
I quickly avert my eyes and clear my throat. “I came to make sure you were safe.”
“Oh, you came , alright.” Her eyes flash, and she pulls away from Ruin to jab my chest with her index finger. “Is that what you are, Thanatos? A stalker? Are you using me to get your rocks off?” Huffing, she crosses her arms to cover her chest. “Get a fucking girlfriend, then! Okay? Can you do that?”
I glare at her, the spitfire of a woman too wrapped up in her own problems to see mine. “I can’t,” I grind out, my teeth clenched so hard that my jaw hurts. “I fucking can’t , Celia.”
She doesn’t back down, too amped up on adrenaline or pride. “Why the hell not? You’re—look at you!” She laughs, a loud burst of air in the cavernous space, and shakes her head. “You could have anyone here tonight, you know that? Any woman in that casino would gladly take you home. So, what are you doing here?” She unlatches her arms to shove my chest, no longer shy about being naked in front of me. “What are you still doing here, Thanatos? Because I’m?—”
“Infuriating,” I growl, cutting her off. My heartbeat pounds in my ears as weeks of frustration and anger rise up within me. “You are insufferable . Always whining about your goddamn business, walking around half-naked all the time, driving me insane with the sound of your fucking voice?—”
She bristles. “Like you’re a fucking peach!” She growls with her own frustration. Pitching her voice lower, she says, “I’m so big and macho, with my huge muscles and girthy cock; I like to throw girls around and pretend that I’m not grinding into their ass all morning, rocking the biggest hard on of my life! I can’t wait to shove her against a wall and lecture her about controlling her body , when I can’t even control my own!” Her eyes burn with a fire so hot that I feel it down to my toes, my entire body igniting from her flames. “You’re such a self-righteous asshole!”
I grind my teeth, feeling my own fire burn inside my chest. “You’re a fucking tease!”
“I’m not the one throwing myself at you!”
“Maybe not, but you don’t tell me to stop, either! If you had told me ‘no’ even once— just once, Celia —then maybe I could get you out of my head. Just say no. Tell me that you don’t want me. Go on, say it!”
She narrows her eyes and purses her lips. “Fine.” Stepping up to me, she bumps my chest with her own, pressing her body against mine. “I don’t want you,” she growls, then she says it for a second time. “I don’t want you.” Her eyes flick down to my lips for a split second. “I don’t.”
“You don’t,” I repeat, pulled in by the heat of her body and the sweat on her skin. The smell of sex clings to her, and I breathe in deep, shuddering as raw need courses through me. I growl in frustration and tell myself no. Under no circumstances am I going to touch her right now. I’m going to walk away, because that’s what’s best for everyone. As soon as my business is done in this city, I’m walking away for good.
Celia Monrovia will never tempt me again.
“I don’t,” Celia mutters for the fourth time, her voice wavering at the end. “I really don’t.”
“Me either,” I breathe, the tip of my nose brushing hers. “I really?—”
“Really—”
Don’t.