Maddox
Her body trembles and my eyes widen in surprise. “She’s trying to shift!” I say in wonder. That turns to confusion as the seconds tick by and nothing happens.
“Use your alpha command to help,” Gage suggests, moving closer. Technically, all five of us are alphas, but I am the leader of our family pack, giving me the ability to force a shift on weaker pack mates.
However, our little wolf isn’t technically a member of our pack… not yet, anyway, and I don’t want to make that choice for her. But as I watch her desperately trying to change into her human form, I decide to give her some help.
“Shift!” I command loudly.
Instead of shifting, her wolf form starts to contort and she falls to her side, squirming around on the ground. A pained howl pours out of her.
“Stop! You’re hurting her!” Hunter yells, his hands outstretched toward her like he wants to hold her but is afraid to cause more harm.
“Stop!” I command, and her body instantly starts to relax, still stuck in wolf form. I run my hand down her back. “Shh, shh, it’s okay, sweetheart. You’re okay now. You’re not ready to shift yet, and that’s fine, everything is fine.” I tell her as I try to fight back my own tears.
She doesn’t move from lying on her side, her body slightly trembling as she pants heavily.
Shit. What have I done? I just wanted to help her, but I’ve made it so much worse.
For a minute there, it felt like something had changed in her gaze, like she was starting to trust us. But after what I’ve just done, trying to force her shift and causing her pain, I imagine we’ve taken a huge step backward, possibly even making things worse than when we first met her.
Sensing that I need a moment with her, my brothers move away from the fire as I move closer, sitting down at her side so I can speak quietly to her.
They can probably hear the pain in my voice and know I need a minute with her to regain control of my own wolf, who is howling at me to pick her up and hold her close, desperate to fix what we broke.
Instead, I rest my hand on her head as I tell her, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.
I’m so, so sorry. I promise to never use my alpha command on you again without your permission.
I didn’t think it would hurt you. I thought it would help push you over the edge so you could shift.
It looked like you really wanted to.” I take a few deep breaths as I fight my wolf for control.
He’s pushing me hard to shift. He wants to cuddle up to the woman he sees as his mate, even though there is no evidence of that.
He’s mad at me. I’m mad at myself too. I blink back my tears, furious at myself for hurting her and crying. I never cry. Ever. I didn’t cry when my parents died, or when I broke my leg. But something about this little wolf has me all tied up inside.
Because she’s our mate, my wolf tells me for the hundredth time.
We don’t know that, I tell him back. But I feel the pull nonetheless. It’s completely different from the connection with other female members in the Westgrove Pack.
A lot different.
But that could just be because of how we found her. On death's door and alone in the middle of the woods. My protective instincts are riding me to help her; that’s probably all it is.
“I fucked up,” I tell the others, knowing they could hear every word I say with their heightened sense of hearing. “I’m sorry,” I whisper to both them and her, then I let my wolf take over as I shift.
I don’t bother removing my sweatpants, causing them to rip as my wolf emerges and shakes them off. Slowly, I move my nose to touch her cheek. She’s awake and her breathing is calm, but she doesn’t look at me. Those beautiful blue eyes just stare toward the fire, without response.
I throw my head back and let out a pained howl. I feel horrible for failing her. I’m supposed to be helping her, protecting her. Instead, I’ve harmed her, and that thought makes my chest ache like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
“It’s not your fault,” Gage tells me through the bond. “I told you to do it.”
“We all thought it was the right move,” Hunter adds.
I look down at her again. She’s so tiny. I can’t imagine she’d be able to protect herself from humans, let alone other wolves, or bigger animals.
We’ll protect her, my wolf declares.
Agreeing with him, I lean down and give her cheek and neck a quick lick, to let her know I’m sorry and that I’m here, then I lie down beside her, making sure not to touch her so she won’t be upset.
I keep my face aimed at her so I can watch her since my wolf refuses to take his eyes off her right now.
Out of my periphery, I notice the others have all shifted to their wolf forms too.
They slowly move closer and lie down in a semicircle around us, with the fire at the open side, keeping her protected while she lies here.
I hope she sleeps out here tonight, where she will stay warm and we can stay close.
But I know she doesn’t like us staying near her in the cave, probably even less so now.
But I can’t just leave her, either. Especially in this weakened state.
As I watch her, I think of ways I could fix this. Women like gifts, right? I could get her something… Flowers? Jewelry?
What use would a wolf have with those things? Hunt her a nice juicy rabbit and cook it for her.
My wolf reminds me that taking care of her baser needs is what’s most important right now. Of course, we were doing that every day, anyway. I just want to do something special, but she’s stuck in her wolf form.
What would a wolf want? I think about my own wolf, what he enjoys. But all that comes to mind is running and hunting. And… Well, now he also enjoys being close to the woman he perceives as his mate.
She slowly turns onto her belly then lifts her head and looks around, blinking several times as if coming out of a trance or waking up. She glances around at each of us nervously. We all just stare back at her, afraid of what she’ll do while being surrounded like this.
Her gaze finally lands on me. She looks sad, and it makes my wolf let out a low whine, knowing we put that look on her face. My brothers surprise me by joining in.
Her head whips around to look at everyone, almost in panic, and we stop immediately, not meaning to worry her even more.
We keep fucking up.
Her eyes move back to mine, then she slowly stands. I lower my head and rest it on my paws, making it clear I won’t move. At least not yet. I want to see what she’ll do first. I just pray she doesn’t try to run off into the woods.
Slowly, she walks toward me and starts to pass me. I squeeze my eyes shut as I realize she’s heading to the cave. I fucked up, again. But my eyes pop open when something touches my side, and I turn my head in her direction.
I stay completely still, terrified of scaring her away as she runs her nose along my side, almost making it seem like an accident, then she turns and lies right beside me, the same way I had been, on her belly with her head on her paws, her side pressed against mine.
I stare down at her with wide eyes, then look at my brothers. I can see the smirk on Chase, even in wolf form, then I look back down at her.
Is she… comforting me?
This little wolf… she truly is something else. I caused her pain, and here she is, trying to make me feel better.
Deciding to be bold and take a chance that she won’t run, I tilt my head down and rub my nose against her head and neck, breathing her in.
She smells like vanilla and cherries in bloom, sweet and delicate, with a hint of smoke carried in on the breeze.
It’s the kind of scent that softens the edges of the world and makes me want to breathe her in forever.
When she doesn’t move, my wolf instincts completely take over as he indulges himself by licking the top of her head. She wiggles until she’s on her side with her back against us. We give her another lick on the exposed part of her neck.
Does she realize what a vulnerable position she’s just put herself in? Giving me her back and neck like that? I silently promise myself, and her, that the trust she’s giving me right now won’t be taken lightly. I’ll make it my mission to never fail her again.
Lowering my head, I rest it across her neck, protecting her while she sleeps. Bain gives me a nod as he moves to the other side of the fire, taking up sentry for the first shift of the night. I know he’ll watch over us while we sleep.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, inhaling her intoxicating scent. She smells like home. Like her scent belongs with me, with us.