Cherry
The stone floor is cold beneath my paws, the damp seeping into my bones. Glancing around, panic grips me.
I’m back in the facility. They caught me!
I start to pace, back and forth, as anger and terror battle for control over me. I feel desperate to move, to get out, to go back to the forest to see the guys again.
Why the hell did I run? I must be the dumbest wolf in existence. A soft growl escapes my chest as a deep sense of self-loathing hits me.
The air grows heavier, pressing against my lungs, until I can barely draw a breath. Then I see it—thin cracks in the ceiling above me, leaking not moonlight but something brighter, hotter. It starts to drip down around me like molten lava, pulsing faintly, as if the world itself is breathing.
Strangely, instead of recoiling, like I should, my instincts have me pressing my nose toward it, craving the warmth, but the light recoils, dancing just out of reach.
My fur prickles, and when I shake myself, I see dark strands falling away, shedding in clumps, dissolving into dust before they touch the ground.
Panic grips me. What’s happening to me? I dig my claws into the floor, as if I can hold myself together, but the harder I cling, the faster I unravel.
Beneath my fur is a glow I don’t understand, soft, golden, alive.
It terrifies me. Is this what happens when I regenerate? I’ve never been awake for it before.
The sound of heavy-booted steps slams into the dream, echoing down the corridor. I freeze, fear swallowing everything. The glow flickers once, then snuffs out, leaving me in cold blackness.
Everything is completely still and silent for a moment. Then I hear his voice.
“Never leave me again, angel.”
Bain whispers these words over and over into my neck, speaking more than he ever has before. When did he start holding me?
“I can’t lose you again. Please stay with me. With us. I’ll never let you out of my sight again.”
Lose me? Stay with them? What is happening right now?
My head is tucked against him, so when I open my eyes, all I see is the giant span of his bare chest. I rack my brain trying to remember what happened, how I ended up here, and why he sounds so upset.
I don’t normally dream when I regenerate, so it’s left me feeling confused and disoriented, and it takes longer than normal to recall what happened.
I ran away and straight into a bear. They came to help me, then the bear tried to hurt Chase, but I took that death for myself.
I release a deep breath, remembering that he’s fine, that I’d made it in time to save him.
Lifting my head slowly, I glance around and see them all close by, staring at me. My body seems to have fully recovered, even the sharp new pain I get every time I wake up from a regeneration is just a dull ache now.
I’m not sorry to have been unconscious for that. It always feels like something is being burned into my skin, which, I guess, is exactly what happens. But the pain never lasts long. I believe the mark is payment for my new life.
The first time I saw a mirror at the facility was the first time I ever noticed it. Back when I was a teenager in human form, I’d seen the cluster of four tiny black heart-shaped tattoos trailing down from my ear, expanding as they went down my neck.
I had no idea why they were there and assumed the men had branded me. After that, I started to notice that every time I woke up from a regeneration, I’d feel a burning pain in that spot. The next time I looked in a mirror, I saw the hearts continued toward my back. I counted eighteen at the time.
The last time I saw them was five years ago, five years after being in the facility.
By that time, I’d lost count, and the trail of hearts extended from behind my right ear, down and around the back of my neck, across my upper chest, down the side of my right breast, under my arm, then disappeared behind me.
One heart for every death. The trail varies in size but is always at least a few hearts wide, and they are all slightly different sizes, ranging from a quarter inch to half an inch. I’m terrified to know how many there actually are.
I always wondered if the size had anything to do with the type of death. But I could never see the new one when I woke up, so it’s impossible to know.
Since I haven’t seen my human form in such a long time, I have no idea where the trail ends now, but the dull pain of this death is on my stomach.
Being in wolf form, it’s harder to pinpoint how low, but that has me thinking that in human form, it must have wrapped around my back by now and is trailing over my stomach.
You can’t see the marks through my fur in this form, since my skin is black under my fur, but I know they’re there.
That dull ache is a painful reminder that my life is not my own, that Dr. J did something to me to cause this.
Someone touches my head, jolting me back to my surroundings.
Maddox smiles warmly as he squats in front of me. “Hey there, little wolf. You gave us quite the scare.” He strokes my head and moves aside for Hunter to move forward, who kisses the top of my nose.
“Baby girl…” He doesn’t seem to know what he wants to say to me. He just shakes his head and kisses my nose again, allowing Gage to move in. He strokes my head and my cheek gently, looking at me like I’m a puzzle he wants to figure out.
“Darling. I have no idea what just happened, but I’m so happy to see you alive and breathing again. You have no idea how hard it was to watch you… die.”
“No more sacrificing yourself,” Chase says, sounding angrier than I’ve ever heard before. Gage moves aside, and I see Chase sitting nearby, looking at me with frustration gleaming through his pretty brown eyes.
Is he mad at me?
I watch his jaw clench as he moves closer, then, ever so gently, he reaches out and holds my face, his gaze dancing back and forth between my eyes.
“Why did you do that, Blue? Why would you sacrifice yourself for me? You shouldn’t have done that.” He sounds mad, angry, and in pain. I hate seeing these emotions on him. I want him to always be smiling and happy.
Wanting to ease his pain, I try to move toward him, but overestimate my energy and barely move before crashing back down.
“I think she’s trying to go to you,” Hunter says, and I try to nod.
Chase moves forward and gently lifts me into his lap, supporting me so I don’t have to hold myself up as I lean against his chest.
“Blue?” he asks, almost nervously, as he stares down at me. I tilt my head up to look at him, then give him as big a lick as I can muster up the side of his jaw.
He lets out a masculine giggle, which is a sound I didn’t even know was possible. It makes me do it again, loving the happy emotion from him. He turns his head side to side like he doesn’t like it, but I notice he’s still holding me close, not pushing me away.
Finally, feeling exhausted all of a sudden, I slow my licks, and after giving him one last long one up his neck, I drop my head and rest my nose against his neck. I hope he understands what I’m saying, that I’m glad he’s okay.
He lets out a deep sigh, wrapping his arms around me to hold me close. My body warms from the connection. It’s been so long since anyone has hugged me. These guys are bringing all these feelings to the surface, and I’m not sure what to do with them.
After a minute, Chase whispers, “You aren’t going to leave us again, are you?”
Am I?
I remember how I felt when I was running—stupid.
I’m not sure how I expected to get away from five alphas who seem to want to keep me around.
Not that I totally mind… Maybe I ran because a part of me wanted to know they actually wanted me here, and not just because they stumbled across me and felt obligated.
But the way they immediately came after me tells me what I need to know for now. That they want me here, though I’m still not entirely sure why.
Could one of them really be my fated mate? The thought of finding out which one fills me with dread. Not because I don’t want to be with one of them, but because I don’t want to find out I’m not fated to the other four, which is inevitable. I think my heart would break four times over.
What if none of them are my fated mate?
What if all of them are?
I take a deep breath and try to tell myself to calm down.
If I ever want to shift, I need to be in complete control of my emotions.
And if they want to stay in the forest with me until that happens, well, that’s up to them.
I’m not forcing them to stay here. Thanks to my run through the forest, I know that to be true now.
They could have been free of me, but instead they came after me, rescued me, and grieved my death. Maybe being a part of their pack wouldn’t be so bad for now, even if it does end with me being heartbroken and alone.