Chapter 18
The chamber glowed softly in the lamplight. Delicate silk gowns were laid across her bed, with slippers tucked neatly into their satin wrappings. Aurelia moved carefully across the room, her hands folding the gowns, her mind occupied with thoughts of the journey ahead.
A knock sounded at the door, drawing her attention.
Before she could answer, the door creaked open and Lottie’s small figure appeared. She was wearing a nightdress that trailed behind her, and her brown curls were loose down her back.
Behind her was Sir Whiskerton, who followed like a loyal shadow, his tail raised high, his green eyes glittering. The smile on Lottie’s face faltered before a careful expression replaced it.
“What are you doing?” Her voice was soft, almost a curious whisper.
Aurelia smiled. “I’m preparing for a trip, darling,” she answered gently.
“The one Papa talked about?” the girl asked innocently.
Although Percival had not given his explicit permission, it was never too early to start planning a trip to a ball. Aurelia was the duchess; she would have the final say.
“Yes. So I must choose what to take with me,” she said gently, holding up a pale blue gown for her inspection.
Lottie’s face brightened with interest. “A trip?” She moved further into the room.
“Yes.” Aurelia folded the gown carefully. “To London.”
The girl paused, shifted on her bare feet, then glanced at the gowns shyly. “I’m not going, am I?”
The sadness in her voice pierced Aurelia’s chest. It was as though the girl already knew the answer before asking.
Aurelia slowly knelt before the child, her skirts pooling around her. “Not this time, sweetheart.” She cupped the girl’s cheek.
“Papa won’t let me?” Lottie whispered, her lashes lowering.
“No,” Aurelia sighed. It was already hard enough convincing Percival to attend the ball. “But…” She tilted the girl’s chin back up when she let out a defeated sigh. “I will convince him, Lottie. You will come with us to the next ball, I promise.”
A small smile tugged at the corners of Lottie’s lips. “Promise?”
“I never break my promises,” Aurelia said firmly. She kissed the girl’s forehead, inhaling the faint lavender scent of her hair. “Besides, I will bring you presents.”
The last word did its magic, just like Aurelia had expected. It caught Lottie’s attention.
Her brows knitted together in curiosity. “What kind of presents?”
“Oh, let me think…” Aurelia tapped her chin, pretending to ponder.
“Pretty ribbons, so you can outshine every doll in the nursery. Sweet biscuits from the market, drizzled with honey and sprinkled with almonds. And maybe, just maybe”—she moved closer—“something mischievous for Sir Whiskerton, if he behaves.”
As though he understood her, the cat jumped up on the bed and stretched out his paws toward the nearest ribbon.
“Sir Whiskerton, will you behave?” Lottie teased with a giggle, patting the cat’s back. But her smile dropped as soon as it came. “But I don’t want presents, not if you are gone. I will be alone.”
Aurelia smiled. It seemed the prospect of getting a present could only do so much. She reached for the little girl and pulled her into her arms.
“You won’t be alone,” she whispered into her curls. “Do you know why?”
“Why?” Lottie asked with a little sniffle.
“Because Sir Whiskerton will stay here. He’ll protect you.” Aurelia let her down softly and reached for her cat, lifting him so she could see he was harmless. “He’s very fierce, you know.”
The cat, as though listening to their conversation, let out a loud meow at that exact moment. It was imperious, as if to assert his authority.
Aurelia laughed softly and dropped him back onto the bed.
“See?” She smiled. “He has sworn his loyalty to you. He will keep you safe, play with you, and keep you company until I return.”
Lottie lifted her head with a sigh, then her lips curled into the faintest smile. “Really?”
“Really.” Aurelia nodded. “And when I return, you will tell me all about how brave he was, won’t you?”
“Yes.” The girl’s voice was steadier now, her blue eyes twinkling. “I will tell you everything.”
Pleased, Aurelia moved closer to kiss the girl’s cheek. This time, Lottie giggled, especially when Sir Whiskerton pawed at the hem of her nightdress.
“But where will you go? Where is the ball?” the little girl asked again, ever so inquisitive.
“To the city,” Aurelia answered with a smile, her siblings’ faces flashing through her mind. Banfield House was situated in the heart of London. “When I return, I will take you somewhere even better—my home. You will meet my family.”
“Family?” Lottie perked up.
For her, family had always been quiet and distant. But Aurelia spoke of her family with so much joy that it made the little girl wonder how wonderful her family was.
“Yes.” Aurelia laughed again as images of her chaotic family flashed through her mind. “I have two younger siblings, Nora and Louis. They are twins. When we were little, they were the most mischievous pair.”
“Mischievous? Like Sir Whiskerton?”
“Oh, my cat actually learned from them.”
Lottie burst into laughter, her little shoulders quaking.
“They would steal biscuits from the kitchen and hide them in the garden. Or sneak frogs into my mother’s sewing kit.”
“Frogs?” Lottie echoed in an incredulous tone.
“I always had to scold them before Mama saw, you know.” Aurelia chuckled, shaking her head. “But Lady Scovell is very strict. Nothing escapes her notice.”
“Your house must be so fun,” Lottie remarked.
“Of course.” Aurelia smiled. “But you know that too much fun could also turn a house upside down.”
Lottie laughed again, but the sound was quick to melt into a sigh. She stared at her hands for a long moment, hesitating before finally whispering, “I wish I had brothers. Or sisters.”
Aurelia froze at those words. Something about them made her chest tighten.
“My father says that I had a mother once,” Lottie continued, her voice small. “But—but she died when I was born.”
Aurelia’s breath hitched. She hardly heard the girl speak about her mother. She did not know the full story, and the closest she had gotten was seeing the late duchess’s portrait.
Hearing the little girl speak about her made her heart clench.
“I never met her.” Lottie shrugged. “Sometimes I think… if I had a mother, maybe I’d have more family. A fun family that would turn this house upside down as well. Maybe I wouldn’t be so…” she trailed off, biting her lip. “Alone.”
Once again, the words sank deep into Aurelia’s chest. They stirred a feeling heavy and sharp.
Taking a deep breath, she pulled the girl close again and pressed her cheek to her hair.
“Dearest,” she whispered, her voice trembling with tenderness. “Can’t you see, darling? You are not alone. Not anymore. You have always had your father. You also have me now. And I promise I will never let you feel forgotten.”
She couldn’t fathom the little girl’s pain.
A child who had never known a mother. A child who lived in a house that was so cold, with a father who hid everything behind his silence.
Lottie deserved warmth. She deserved laughter. She was a sweet little girl who deserved a fun family.
Mischievous siblings.
And that thought sparked something inside Aurelia, something she had been thinking of for a while.
I want to give her a sibling. I want to give her a brother or sister.
Her throat went dry at that thought. Her pulse raced. Heat flooded her face. Because she knew what was required for that to happen.
She needed Percival. His touch. His body. His seed.
And just like that, the memory of his mouth on hers flooded back, hot and all-consuming. She could almost feel the bruising press of his lips, the warmth of his hands, and the hardness of his arousal against her thigh.
It made her shiver, torn between shame and hunger. Yet a bitter realization hit her like cold water—there was no love from him, no tender promises.
She wasn’t exactly sure what Percival wanted from her. And yet she wanted him. She still burned for him.
Her eyes dropped to the little girl in her arms, and she realized she wanted nothing more than to care for Lottie. And that strengthened her resolve.
If he will not claim me as his wife in heart, then at least I will give him an heir. I will not let this house remain so empty.
The little girl looked up, interrupting her thoughts with her hopeful question. “Will you really introduce me to them?”
Aurelia ran her fingers through the girl’s hair gently. “Why not?” She tilted her head. “That will happen, darling. One day soon.”
Lottie let out a satisfied sigh before, once again, hiding her face in Aurelia’s abdomen. She squeezed the girl tighter against her, then moved them to the floor so they could play some more, and soon, her lashes began to flutter as her eyes grew heavy with sleep.
When she finally fell asleep, Aurelia lifted her and carried her to her chamber.
She returned to her room after successfully tucking the girl into bed. The night breeze felt lovely, drawing her to the window, where she stood with her hand pressed against the glass pane.
She looked up at the moon that silvered the grounds of the estate. She was about to take a deep breath when her eyes caught something—a shadow across the field.
Looking closely, she sighted Percival on his great black horse. His posture was straight and proud, but even from a distance, she could still see the tension in his shoulders.
The moon caught in his dark hair and silhouetted his figure, such that he looked devastatingly tall and commanding. Every movement conveyed restrained power, and those blue eyes of his haunted her mind.
Her fingers curled against the windowpane, her body heating with memories she dared not speak aloud.
How can a man be so impossible, so infuriating, and yet so achingly irresistible?
The thought alone made her press her thighs together. Her body ached with a need she could no longer deny.
She had her list. And now, she had one more task to add. She would give him an heir.
Whatever it took, whatever walls he built around himself, she would break them down with fire and flesh.
She caught her reflection in the glass, her determined eyes staring right back at her. Beneath it all was desire that she couldn’t hide even if she wanted to.
When she looked below once more, Percival had disappeared into the shadows of the estate, leaving her to her vow.