Chapter 10
Carl was out of control, and he hated it.
It was one thing to go all Destructo on Nick’s field.
The man deserved it and worse, so Carl had let his bear go wild.
But that was nothing compared to what the bear wanted right now.
Unfettered sexual thoughts coursed through his grizzly, and he had no idea how he was going to control it.
He didn’t just want to mate with Becca, he wanted her to orgasm around his dick for a decade.
He wanted to lick every part of her while he planted his children in her.
And he wanted it now and damn the rest of the community, his position as Max, and her wishes in the matter.
That wasn’t logic. That wasn’t the man in him thinking. No, this was pure animal without restraint. Which made life all the more difficult because she was sitting in his truck smelling like sex while on the way to a dangerous raid.
“Get it together,” he muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he snapped.
She sighed. “It’s not nothing. None of this is nothing.” She dropped her head back against the seat. “I’m so turned around, I have no idea where’s up.”
He looked at her, seeing the soft curve of her cheek, the pert lift to her nose, and the circles under her eyes.
It would be easy to blame her exhaustion on just the last two and a half days.
Certainly that had taken its toll, but she’d been pushing hard for a long time now.
He could see it in the way she closed her eyes for maybe ten seconds, then took a breath and refocused.
She put away the panic and the fear, closing it down while she soldiered on.
No one got so good at compartmentalizing without a lot of practice.
“You’ve been on crisis control for a while now, haven’t you?”
“What?”
“It’s not just the shifter stuff, it’s everything. I know you took over custody of Theo four years ago, and that couldn’t have been easy.”
“God, no. He’d lost his mother, and soon after that my mom died of lung cancer. He was one frightened preteen.”
So she’d lost her sister and mother and suddenly had to care for a grieving boy. “What did your sister do for a living?”
“She…Um…She temped sometimes. Had a stint at McDonald’s for a bit. But Theo took most of her time.”
So no money there. And he knew that there was no cash from the father or the grandfather. Sure, Isaac had wanted to help out, but his sons had left so many bastards there wasn’t any way to keep up.
“Who supported them while she was looking after Theo? Was it you?”
“I wish. I was busy getting my business degree plus shifts at the bakery. That’s where most of our money came from—my aunt’s bakery. And Mom was a nurse bringing in a good income. It wasn’t until Mom got sick that things got really bad.”
“And it was you, wasn’t it? You held everything together.”
She opened her mouth to deny it or at least dismiss her contribution. But in the end, she looked down at her hands. “I got the education. That meant I had to bring in the bucks.”
“I don’t just mean the money, though that probably was a strain all itself. Who held Theo’s hand when he was scared? Who took your mother to chemo? Who saw that the electricity got paid and there was food in the refrigerator?”
She looked at him, her mouth soft even as she narrowed her eyes at him. “What are you trying to say?”
That she’d had it hard. For a really long time. He’d been cursing himself because he was horny, but if anyone had a reason to curse, it was her. And yet here she sat, pulling it together for one more moment. One more crisis. One more day.
“Have you ever been allowed to think long term?” he asked. “Have you ever considered your future and your wants? Or has it always been about making sure the family survived?”
“My wants are my family.” She winced. “Theo.”
Right. Because the rest were gone.
“He’s going to be fine. I won’t let anything happen to him.
” It came out as a vow, and he damn well wasn’t going to falter, no matter how distracted he got.
Besides, even if she weren’t as important to him as his next breath, she’d become part of his clan through Theo. That made her his top priority.
She nodded, apparently grabbing on to his promise and holding it tight.
They stayed silent a moment, and he watched her hands grip together.
She was thinking things, worrying, and he needed to distract her.
Naturally, his bear had all sorts of ideas, but that wasn’t going to happen.
Then she spoke, creating her own distraction.
“So what’s going on between Alan and Officer Stick-Up-Her-Ass?”
“Officer…” He laughed, a choked sound. “Tonya’s good at her job. She’s just buttoned down. Her bear is really strong, and it’s the only way she can cope.”
Becca’s gaze shifted to the patrol car ahead, and he could tell she was chewing on that information. Which gave him time to sort through the rest of her question.
“And there’s nothing between her and Alan. We’ve all known one another forever. We get to squabbling like siblings.”
“Siblings?” she said, her tone almost mocking. “If you say so.”
“Of course…” He frowned. Was it possible?
Did his brother have a thing for Tonya? If so, he was one doomed camper.
She was never going to go for a man who couldn’t shift.
She was all about the grizzly heritage and pack leadership.
She was six when she’d decided to become Maxima.
Alan was so human he wasn’t even hairy. “I hope you’re wrong,” he muttered.
“Tonya doesn’t like him?”
“Tonya has her sights somewhere else.” Until he officially proclaimed her his beta at the next clan meeting, she would still think about being his Maxima.
And even that promotion might not deter her.
She was one determined woman. And, to his surprise, Becca picked up on the problem without him needing to explain it.
“Tonya wants you,” she said. It wasn’t a question. And then she figured out the rest. “That’s why you wanted us to shower. So she wouldn’t smell us on each other.” Then she looked down at her clothes. His clothes. “And any lingering scent could be explained by my wearing your clothes.”
He’d wanted her to wear his things, period. He wanted her to settle into his bed and never leave while he fed her with his own hand from game he had killed himself. Which wasn’t so much bear as Neanderthal. Meanwhile, he had to explain himself to her. “I’m not ashamed of what we did.”
She didn’t react, obviously keeping her emotions locked down.
“This isn’t the time to declare a relationship,” he said carefully. “I want to, but…”
“It’s not a relationship,” she said softly, her gaze shifting back to the open road. “It was blowing off steam. Let’s not make it into anything more than that, okay?”
His hands tightened on the wheel and it took all his willpower to suppress his bear’s howl of rage. Nothing more than blowing off steam? Did she understand nothing?
Except logic supported her statement. After all, she wasn’t the only one strung tight.
Even before Theo’s disappearance, he’d been on edge.
The clan dissent and pressure to marry Tonya were growing exponentially.
Of course he’d turn to the first woman who was outside of all that idiocy.
Especially one who was soft and nurturing.
Maybe after Theo was found and Nick was sorted out, he’d discover that they had nothing in common.
What did he know about baking or a mundane life in Kalamazoo?
Maybe.
Except it sure as hell didn’t feel that way.
“That’s why I thought we should shower,” he said. “To avoid distractions. But I’m not ashamed.”
“Neither am I.”
That was something. Especially since her scent confirmed the statement. She was determined. No shame stink on her. “After this is all over, I thought we could go out to dinner.”
She looked back at him, her lips curving into an incredulous smile. “The man who just gave me the best orgasms of my life is asking me out on a date?”
“Um…yeah?”
“Um…okay.” Then her expression tightened. “But afterward.”
“Definitely. Not until Theo is at home and grousing about his geometry homework.”
Her expression softened. “I like that you know he’s taking geometry. Even if it is kind of stalkery.”
He shrugged. “I make a point of knowing all the pre-shift kids. As much as I can.”
Which was pretty much the end of their conversation, as Tonya took a turn onto a back road that he knew would eventually lead to a fenced perimeter and the Moss family compound.
Way up ahead he could see patrol cars and a couple ATF vans.
Tonya stopped well before they got there, parking her car sideways across the road before she jumped out.
Then she stood there with her arms on her hips to reveal her gun.
She took enough time to point to the side of the road where, presumably, they were supposed to park.
He did, though he resented not getting closer to the action. And his bear was beyond pissed that his beta thought she could give him orders.
“Guess we’re supposed to stay well back,” Becca said.
“Guess so.”
He and Alan parked their vehicles and stepped out. Tonya didn’t even give them the chance to speak.
“You have to stay here or I’ll have to put you in handcuffs.”
Alan mirrored her pose, showing off his holstered Glock. “You say the sweetest things,” he drawled.
“Don’t antagonize her,” Carl snapped as he pulled a couple shotguns out his truck and tossed one to his brother.
“I’m not antagonizing,” his brother countered. “I’m inviting.”
It was Alan’s typical banter, but for the first time Carl wondered if there could be more to it. He glanced at Becca, who was watching Tonya with a tight expression.
“Can you tell me what’s going to happen?” she asked, her voice admirably strong.