THIRTY
Logan
“I’m cleared?” The words tumbled out of my mouth, tinged with disbelief.
Dr. Mendoza just smiled, her expression gentle, as she handed me the sheet she had signed at the start of our session. “I’m not saying you’ve fully dealt with all your issues, Logan. You shouldn’t stop coming to see me. But yes, I think you’re fit for active combat again.”
I nodded, still processing her words. The paper in my hand felt impossibly light, a stark contrast to the weight it lifted from my shoulders. Just yesterday, I was resigned to the sidelines, haunted by the thought of being left behind while my team confronted Garret. Now, suddenly, I had a chance—a tangible, signed chance.
I exhaled deeply, the reality settling in. “You still think it’s a trauma bond, don’t you?” I asked, locking eyes with her.
She maintained her warm smile. “What I think doesn’t really matter, Logan. The way you speak about your feelings for Kaylan…it’s complicated, entangled with guilt and shared trauma, but it is still love. You care deeply for her safety, you’ve shown true remorse. However,” she paused, her tone shifting slightly, “your method of apologizing, as you described, was quite unconventional.”
I let out a chuckle, the irony not lost on me. “Me, on my knees?”
Dr. Mendoza narrowed her eyes, not quite amused. “No, Logan. It’s about you asking her not to forgive you.”
My attempt to interject faltered; no words came. Deep down, I knew that my plea for her not to forgive me revealed layers of unresolved guilt.
“Do you forgive yourself, Logan?” she probed further.
Do I?
I straightened up, seeking some semblance of confidence to bolster my response, but it was futile. Kaylan had forgiven me, repeatedly assured me of it.
But why didn’t the guilt go away?
It was evident—I hadn’t forgiven myself. My mind was caught in a relentless cycle, trying to balance scales that perhaps couldn’t be balanced. And I needed to save Kaylan. I needed to balance the score.
Maybe, just maybe, finishing Garret was the closure I needed, the act that could finally free me from my own chains. And with that thought, my resolve hardened—I would end this, whatever the cost.
???
The past four days just vanished into a flurry of non-stop drills and planning sessions, all simulated through Sebastian’s high-tech VR setup. We were rehearsing to storm Garret Tyson’s fortress, targeting his high-rise office, where we figured he kept all his nasty secrets stashed away. It felt like we were gearing up for war, and in many ways, we were.
Blackthorn Security was beefing up fast. We’d brought on board a bunch of new faces—ex-CIA, former military hotshots, each one as tough as nails.
Team 1, consisting of Zarek, Sebastian, and Delara, were the point of the spear, with Zane on the bird. Their job was to hit the ground first, secure the top floors, and make sure they stayed that way until everyone else could do their part.
Then there was Team 2—Ronan, Dylan, Jeremy, and Kandala. They were the cavalry, tasked with digging out any prisoners Garret had holed up somewhere in that building, if any. The exact location was still up in the air, but that’s what they were trained to handle.
Team 3 was where I slotted in, along with Kabir, Kaylan, and Leora. We had one hell of a tricky job—shut down Garret, swipe whatever damning intel we could from his setup, and if that fell through, snag Garret himself for a cozy little chat. Leora was our trump card there. If it came down to words over weapons, she’d take the lead. Knowing her skills, she was likely our best shot if things took a turn.
Amelia took on the role of our drone support. Stationed in the skyscraper adjacent to Belfrost, she would serve as our eyes and ears, remotely coordinating our movements from her perch in the nearby building.
As the mission drew closer, the intensity ramped up. This wasn’t just another op. It was personal, and none of us would back down until we’d taken Garret down or died trying.
My mind drifted to Kaylan. Sebastian had deliberately paired us for the mission, knowing full well that I’d want to keep her safe. The thought of anything going wrong terrified me. I needed her. I needed her for the rest of my life. Even if she wasn’t sure about us, even if she quietly wondered if all this was a trauma bond, I didn’t care. I just needed her to be alive.
“What are you thinking about?” Kaylan’s voice snapped me back to reality. I had been tasked with loading the dishwasher, but there I was, lost in thought, just staring blankly at the wall after placing a few spoons inside.
“Just the mission,” I mumbled, my gaze still fixed on the distance. But when I turned to look at her, I lost my breath for a moment. Fresh from the shower, she moved around in just a towel, her wet hair cascading in waves along her jawline, beckoning my touch.
Her legs, creamy and exposed, drew my eyes irresistibly. My body reacted instinctively, desire flaring within me. Her knowing smirk told me she was aware of the effect she had on me.
Then, with a playful flick, she let the towel fall to the ground, pooling at her feet. I stood there, mouth agape, taking in every inch of her. I had seen her like this before, only briefly, yet this moment felt profoundly different; she was taking charge.
The joy that swelled in my chest quickly morphed into a primal, untamed hunger. My eyes locked onto her perfect breasts, her body’s curves sharply etching themselves into my vision. I was painfully aware of my own cock, pressing against my boxers.
She had been cleared for sex, and I had resolved not to initiate until she was ready. But I hadn’t anticipated her taking the lead so boldly.
Fuck me!
She stood there, confident and inviting, and all thoughts of restraint melted away, overwhelmed by the fierce urge to close the distance between us.
And so I did.
Without hesitation, I strode towards her, a smirk forming on my lips.
“What are you trying to do, Chaos?” I couldn’t recognize the hoarse whisper that escaped me.
“Oh, were you busy with the dishes?” Kaylan cooed, her eyes darting to the massive tent in my sweatpants.
“I think I want to be busy doing something else,” I growled, my arms scooping her up effortlessly as I carried her towards the bedroom.
As I gently set her down on the bed, she raised a hand, signaling me to stop. I halted instantly.
Shit! Did I misread the situation?
“You’ll do what I say, deal?” She said, a mirth in her voice.
Oh good god, she wants to dominate?
And in that moment, I knew she can do whatever she wanted. I chuckled and nodded, instantly rewarding me with one of the most stunningly triumphant smiles I had ever seen grace her features.
“I’m yours, Chaos. This body will heed to your commands,” I smiled back.
“Lie down on the bed, hands up,” she instructed, a slight quiver betraying her confidence.
My excitement growing, I obeyed, licking my lips as I positioned myself on the bed. She made room for me then stood, striding over to the closet. She rummaged through the garment bags that Blackthorn provided for fancy dinners, returning with two silk ties in hand.
Oh lord, give me strength.
The prospect of being tied up, sent a thrill through me. The thought alone was enough to make my cock scream with anticipation.
She secured both my wrists to the wooden slats of the headboard and gently tied the other tie as a blindfold over my eyes. The fabric obscured my vision but allowed just enough light for me to detect faint movements. I was utterly at Kaylan’s mercy.
Kaylan
My confidence wavered, not constant but in bursts. Yet, as I saw Logan tied up and grinning eagerly, my assurance surged. He was already shirtless, his anticipation visible, leaving just the last pieces of his clothing.
As I hooked my fingers around the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers, he helpfully lifted his hips, allowing me to strip them off.
There he was, completely naked. Logan’s body, though marked by scars, was a mastery emanating his strength and allure—undeniably masculine, irresistibly mine .
His cock rested against his stomach, a silent plea for my attention, but I chose to heighten his anticipation. I trailed my fingers slowly from his feet up his legs, deliberately stopping just shy of his eager, rigid length.
“Baby, you’re killing me,” Logan exhaled sharply, a blend of frustration and desire thick in his voice.
“Patience,” I whispered back, a reminder of the time he’d teased me similarly. His grin spread, filled with want, as he took a deep, ragged breath.
Positioning myself between his wide legs, I avoided touching him further, then slowly dragged my tongue from the base of his cock to the glistening drop of pre-cum at the tip. His groans filled the room, a sound so deliciously raw that it spurred me on. His tied hands jerked enough that I knew he could easily get out of the restraint. But he didn’t.
Gripping the base of his shaft, I enveloped the head with my lips, sucking maddeningly while my tongue lavished him with fervor.
“Fucking hell, Chaos!” he strained, his voice a tormented whisper of pleasure.
“Baby, if you don’t—” he started to protest, but I silenced him by taking him fully into my mouth, his length hitting the back of my throat.
“Jesus, I can’t…” His moan was muffled by a mixture of ecstasy and torment.
Tears welled in my eyes from the intensity, but I persisted, withdrawing slightly before plunging down again. He surrendered completely to my control, allowing me this moment of absolute dominion.
“Baby, if there’s a place I’m coming, it’s not your mouth,” he managed between breaths, his grin tortured but teasing.
Reluctantly, I released him, sitting up and positioning myself above him, my wetness sliding tantalizingly along his length but not yet taking him inside. My movements were deliberate, torturously slow.
“Ride me, baby. Please ride me, let me feel you.”
Leaning forward, I pressed kisses along his scarred neck, down his chest, until our lips met in a kiss filled with desperation and urgency. His response was fervent.
Finally, I removed his blindfold, allowing our eyes to meet. His brilliant sapphire blue gaze devoured me with such intensity, I caught my breath. The hunger in his eyes mirrored my own, a raw need that said he wanted me, needed me, as desperately as I did him.
I untied the binds from his wrists, and his hands instantly found their way across my body, his touch conveying a hunger as if he’d been starved of me. “I can’t believe you chose me, Chaos. I’m honored that you’re mine,” he murmured, his eyes shining with a mix of awe and reverence.
“I’m yours, Logan,” I whispered back, positioning myself above him and slowly sinking down onto him. “I’m yours,” I repeated. His length filled me completely, seamlessly, painlessly prompting a curse from his lips as his eyes fluttered shut.
The rhythm of our bodies found a natural sync, and I quickened the pace, each movement intensifying the pleasure building within me. I leaned down, my head resting in the crook of his neck.
“Take control,” I urged softly into his ear.
His hands, newly freed, grasped me tighter, and he took over, his thrust gentle but assertive. “Tell me if it hurts, okay?” he checked after the deep thrust that drew a breath from me.
I nodded against his neck, giving him the reassurance he needed to continue. I felt his gentle kisses across my cheek, my neck, my shoulders.
He thrust again, and then again, steadily driving us both toward the brink, When his fingers found their way to my clit, gently circling it, my moans crescendoed into cries of release, my body trembling with the force of my orgasm.
He followed shortly after, his movements becoming more deliberate until he stilled completely, his release overtaking him. His groans were low and close, filling my ear as he held me tightly, his embrace as protective as it was passionate.
As I began to rise, Logan’s grip tightened, pulling me back down gently. “Don’t,” he confessed, his voice rough with emotion.
Leaning back to catch his gaze, I found his eyes gleaming with a blend of joy and a twinge of sorrow. I kissed him softly, and he smiled into the kiss, turning it sweet and tender. As the kiss deepened, he matched my intensity, his emotions mirroring the love I poured into every touch.
Love .
The word struck me like a revelation, halting my movements.
I love him.
I am irrevocably lost in love with Logan Carlton.
And I’d damn anyone who dared to find me.