14. Lottie
Chapter 14
Lottie
T he scent of fresh coffee, the sounds of the birds outside, and my alarm wake me. It was the kind of morning I used to dream of before Archer came into my life.
I yawn, stretch, and slip out of bed, stumbling to my joined bathroom. Slipping into the warm shower, I wake myself and smile.
I’d promised myself I’d make the most of this life after everything Archer and his parents have done for me, no matter how much the shadows of my past try to drag me down when the memories arise like a violent tide coming into the shore.
Getting out, I towel-dry my hair and glance at the clock on my phone. 7:15 a.m. Perfect. Training starts at eight, but I like to arrive early to stretch and get myself into the zone. I’m halfway through pulling on my leggings when I hear Archer’s parents downstairs, their voices carrying as they sing along to their favorite radio show that they listen to every morning.
I finish getting dressed quickly, pull my now brown hair into a ponytail, and head downstairs. Claire is already in the kitchen, humming to herself as she chops fruit with bacon frying on the cooker behind her. Will is sitting at the dining table, watching his wife reverently with coffee in his hand.
They both look up as I enter the room, their faces warm and welcoming. “Morning, Lottie! Breakfast is almost ready.” Claire greets me.
I smile at her. Claire has been nothing but kind since the day I first stepped foot in their home, ruffled and half dead. She and her husband, Will, had opened their arms to me like I was part of their family, just like Archer promised they would.
It was overwhelming at first. The idea that these people would look after a stranger for nothing in return wasn’t something I could wrap my head around, and for a year, I always expected the worst to happen, though I’d never let them know. I didn’t want to feel like I owed them anything, especially not when I had spent years clawing my way out of the pit of darkness that still likes to lurk in the corners of my mind now and again, threatening to pull me back under.
“I’ll pass,” I sign back. “I’m heading to pole fitness.”
Claire gives me a disapproving glare. “You need to eat. Otherwise, you’ll wear yourself out.” I laugh as she passes me a plate filled with fruit and a side of bacon. “You’re favorite.” She winks. “Now, eat. You’re always on the move. You need fuel.”
I smirk, thinking about how many times I’ve heard that sentiment in the last two years. I’m always “on the move,” always juggling multiple things.
It’s a way of life for me now. Better this than letting the memories surface.
Shadow.
Pain.
I shake my head, expelling those thoughts, and pop a strawberry in my mouth. Will slides a smoothie over to me, clearing his throat. “Just so you know,” he starts, his eyes sparkling with the familiar excitement that I know what’s coming. “Archer’s final deployment ends this week. He’ll be home by the weekend.”
My heart flutters in my chest at the mention of his name.
Archer .
The man who saved me from the abyss below the water’s surface when I was drowning. Who saved me from a life I didn’t want to live anymore, because the pain of being alive was too much.
The man who saved me and turned my whole world upside down in the best way possible, and the man I can’t have.
His parents never asked for my whole story. Only wanting to know enough to keep me safe and change my identity. They saw me as family, and that was the end of that, by order of Claire, of course.
“That’s amazing!” I grin. “Can’t wait to see him.”
Claire’s smile softens as she looks at me, almost like she can see the longing on my face. “He can’t wait to see you, too.”
The words settle into my chest. Claire and Will have been so kind to me, but sometimes, in the quiet moments when I’m left alone with my thoughts, I have this deep fear of letting them down.
Archer’s parents are wealthy, successful entrepreneurs with an empire that stretches across the coast and more. They’ve offered to give me anything I want, but I can’t bring myself to accept their generosity more than I already have.
I don’t want them to hate me.
Standing up, I thank Claire for breakfast and quickly wash my plate, placing it on the drying rack.
“Remember to use your credit card if you need it,” Will says, a knowing look in his eye.
“I’ll be okay,” I say. I’ve been doing fine for my own money, and the idea of using their card makes shivers run down my spine. No, they’ve already done enough for me. “Thank you, though.”
“Don’t be afraid to lean on us, kiddo. You’re our family, whether you like it or not.”
I nod, but deep down, I know I will always be careful with how much I rely on them. It’s not that I don’t trust them — it’s just that I had learned the hard way that people who are supposed to love you can turn on you quickly. The betrayal cuts deeper when it comes from those you thought would never hurt you, and I won’t let myself be hurt like that ever again.
I finish my coffee, give them both a quick goodbye, and grab my bag.
As I walk out the door, I can’t help but think about everything that led me here and how different my life has become in just two years.
When Archer pulled me from the water, I was at the lowest point of my life, and the leap I took from the cliff was the only way I could see out from everything that everyone had done to me.
Mom had sold me like I was nothing. Only good for clearing her debts for the drugs she inhaled into her system, and the three boys who I once would have carved out my heart for had turned on me in my worst moment... worse, they set it up.
My silence is all I had to survive.
Archer saved me. It was like a superhero swooping in to fix everything. He became my person, there when I needed someone to talk to when I was ready to give up, and the memories surfaced. He would sleep on the floor of my room, letting me clutch his hand in a grip that I’m sure cut off his blood supply, and whispered into the darkness that he was there and I was safe.
I never imagined that I would fall in love with him, but I know I can’t have him. The idea of ruining the family who have taken me in like I’m one of them is enough to drive me to the edge, and I can’t.
After I moved in with his parents, things changed.
I had a place to stay with food and people who wanted what was best for me—a safe space.
I enrolled at the college they owned and started studying Marine Biology, something I’d always been passionate about, as I sat by the water at the beach watching the waves. But I couldn’t be the girl who didn’t talk anymore.
The girl whose voice was stolen.
I needed to build my confidence, to feel in control of something in my life, and to reclaim something that was stolen from me when I was sixteen. That’s when I started working as a stripper.
I know it sounds crazy, but I’m doing it because I want to reclaim my body, my autonomy.
I needed to know I could take control of my life in ways I had never been able to before. Nobody knows what I do—well, apart from Oscar, Archer’s best friend. Oscar is deaf and works as a security guard for the girls who dance.
I trust him completely, and he understands me in a way no one else can. I may or may not have threatened him with blackmail, I have on him to ensure his silence.
Alongside dancing, I’ve started taking self-defense classes. It’s not just about the pole, the strength, or the fitness; it’s about empowerment. The way I can walk into a room, have every eye on me, and know that they’re not allowed to touch. I’m the one in control now, not anyone else. I refuse to be the girl who gets walked on anymore. I wasn’t going to be the girl who was beaten down anymore.
I also have Zara and Angel. Zara is a college friend who was there for me when Archer first went on deployment. I was lost without him. She’s got a quiet kind of darkness in her eyes, the kind that says she understands without needing words. We don’t talk about our pasts. We don’t need to. We just get each other.
Angel practically forced her friendship on me when I first started working at the strip club. She saw the nervous girl fumbling through her first night and didn’t let me quit. Instead, she took me under her wing, showing me the ropes and sticking by me as I learned the hard way. Over the last year, we’ve had each other’s backs—laughing off the bizarre, chaotic things that come with this world. And when her ex left her bleeding on the floor, I didn’t hesitate for a second. I was there, cleaning up the mess he made, just like she’d been there for me.
That’s what we do for each other—no questions asked.