18. Lottie
Chapter 18
Lottie
A rcher is home this weekend… for good. The butterflies in my stomach threaten to bring up my breakfast. I stand in front of the mirror, running my fingers through my hair as I adjust my clothes, trying to steady my nerves.
This feels different somehow… important. It’s not just a visit home between deployments. It’s the end of his service to start working with his family after following in his father’s and grandfather’s footsteps.
Every man in the Robert’s family joins the Marines when he turns eighteen, learning discipline and honor as part of their family tradition. If he chose not to, he would’ve been given the option to attend college, but joining the family business would have been out of the question.
Since living with Archer’s family, I’ve never quite found out what they do. Still, I have an idea, and I know they do it honorably—using their power to benefit the community around them and provide scholarships for people unable to afford college, to the one they own. Yes, own. It’s still mind-blowing to me that I live a life that I never thought would be possible, thanks to these people who have become my family, but here we are, and I could never be more thankful.
Archer leaving the Marines is the end of something, the start of something new, and I know his parents are so happy to have him home, but I can’t help but feel overwhelmed. I’m just thankful I have the rest of the week to get my nerves under control before he gets here.
The doorbell rings, cutting through the silence of the house since Claire and Will are both at work. My heart leaps in my chest as I step away from the mirror and make my way to the front door.
Oscar.
He stands there so effortlessly, hands tucked into his pockets, watching me with that familiar, all-knowing gaze—the one that never fails to stir something deep inside me, sending butterflies dancing in my stomach. His blue eyes move over me slowly, not just seeing me, but really seeing me, like I’m the only thing that matters in this moment. His dark, fluffy brown hair looks impossibly soft, and I have to resist the urge to reach up and thread my fingers through it.
With his warm olive skin and that tall, 6’3” frame, he towers over me in the most comforting way—like he could block out the rest of the world if I asked him to.
He blinds me with a smile as he steps in, like he knows what I’m thinking. “Thought I’d give you a lift to college today.” He signs, his fingers moving fluidly, his eyes locking with mine.
I can’t help but take him in. His presence fills the room with an easy confidence he’s carried for years since I met him, yet it still makes the nervous energy in my stomach grow.
Oscar stands in front of me, his casual clothes that I rarely see him in since I mostly see him at work when he’s following me around as my personal guard dog, somehow making him look even more attractive in an almost effortless way. I can’t help but notice how he fills out his clothes.
I’ve been attracted to Oscar since I met him, but in the last two years, it’s like he’s got hotter, and being around both him and Archer is not good for my heart or my labia.
“Thanks,” I respond, trying desperately to keep the tremor out of my fingers as I sign back to him.
Oscar smiles at me again, his eyes shining.
My breath catches in my throat. Oscar is so… Oscar . Somehow, he’s always there when I need him, always offering that familiar comfort I never thought I would crave as much as I do. The butterflies start fluttering in my stomach, not just from the thoughts of Archer returning but from the unexpected rush of emotions I feel every time Oscar is around.
Oscar raises an eyebrow, his smile transforming into a teasing smirk, that knowing look in his eyes as he steps a little closer. “You good, Lottie?”
I swallow… hard, trying and failing to ignore the fluttering in my chest.
I glance up at him, trying to gather my thoughts, but it feels like my brain is working overtime just to keep me from spiraling out of control at how close he is. Oscar is standing so close that I can feel the heat radiating off of him, and I swear the air between us is charged, waiting for us to snap and give in to whatever is between us.
But I can’t because he’s Archer’s best friend and I love Archer too…
“I’m fine,” I finally manage to sign, my fingers shaky as I try to keep it casual, even if everything between us is anything but. I see the way he looks at me at work, keeping our secret from Archer as he watches me dance at night, peeling my clothes from my skin.
It’s freeing, but whenever I know his eyes are on me, it becomes electrified and so much more .
Oscar doesn’t take his eyes off me; his lips, still curled into the mischievous smirk, tell me he doesn’t believe me. And honestly? I don’t blame him.
He steps even closer, if that was even possible, crowding my space, and for a brief second, I swear I can hear the pounding of my heart in my ears, louder than anything else. The butterflies are in full force now, and the last thing I want to do is make a fool out of myself.
“You sure?” he asks again, and I know he’s loving the fact I’m this rattled.
I can’t help it—I laugh, albeit a little breathlessly. I push him back, my hand lingering on his chest for a moment before I pull it back as if it burned me. “I’m sure, just excited for this weekend.”
Oscar raises an eyebrow, his gaze softening slightly as he seems to read me like an open book, like he so often does. “Big change.”
I nod, glancing away, feeling guilty for dreading the change Archer coming home will bring while trying to pull myself together. Archer’s return home, his transition from life in the Marines to being home permanently. He’s the one who has to adjust, and the last thing I need right now is to try to make any sense of how I feel about the people in my life, especially when it comes to Oscar and Archer.
Oscar steps back just enough to give me space to breathe, but his eyes never leave me. I feel it like he’s physically touching me, his eyes scanning me with a hunger that leaves me feeling exposed. I feel like I’m caught in the web between the man who saved me, someone who I’ve loved for years, and the one who makes my heart race in ways I can’t explain without feeling like I’ve lost my mind.
How could I possibly love two men?
The thought of once loving three boys the same way flashes through my mind, but I quickly push it away before the memories can take hold, threatening to drown me.
“Well, if you ever want to talk… or not talk,” Oscar smirks, but his eyes hold something deeper. “I’m here. You know that Lottie, right?”
I swallow, nodding slowly, feeling the lump in my throat grow and my heart thump heavily in my chest.
He gives me a long look, assessing me, his expression shifting slightly as his foot jerks as if he’s holding himself back. He doesn’t say anything more, but for a brief moment, I swear I see a flicker of something in his eyes—something that makes my heart skip in a way only Oscar can make it.
He turns toward the door, pulling it open. “Come on. Let’s get you to college. I don’t want to give Archer another excuse to kick my ass when he gets home by making you late.”
I laugh, shaking my head, and know how serious he is since Archer has been rigid in his insistence on me getting an education. Making more of myself than I believed I ever could… something that could have never been possible without Archer and his family.
My family.
But I’m not ready to admit that to myself yet.
I watch Oscar walk away for a moment, a part of me still caught in the thoughts of wondering what’s really going on between us. Maybe it’s the nerve of everything changing around me, or maybe it’s something more.
As I follow him, the butterflies don’t seem to settle. If anything, they’re growing more restless, just like my heart and mind.
Could I truly ever have the happy ever after I dreamed of so often as a child?