CHAPTER 32
Amara was restless. She couldn’t even do any chores. The laundry was dirty, the kitchen was a mess, and even her room was unkempt. It took everything in her not to get under the warmth of blankets and sleep in. Cause the more she stayed awake, the deeper her thoughts were taking her.
Ever since Kaelith left, she sat alone in the dimly lit living room, the curtains draped over the window— she didn’t even know if it was still a day or the night was ascending.
The silence echoed the turmoil within her.
The subtle hum of the clock on the wall seemed to mock the chaotic rhythm of her thoughts.
As she traced absent patterns on the armrest of the couch, her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts.
Her fingers brushed over the petals of Peonies, the velvety texture felt soft against her skin, and the sweet and delicate fragrance, not overpowering but rather a soft lingering aroma that reminded her of Kaelith.
The way his fingers traced the length of her neck, the way his lips molded her in a fierce heated kiss. His arms—oh—she couldn’t forget the warmth he made her feel.
His touch unfolded her like petals of peonies in her hand.
A shiver ran down her spine recalling the way he looked at her. How he made her feel. Even if she wanted to resist him, there was no way she could. The power of his seduction was too much.
The subtle possessive glances, the bold claim of her.
Yet, the more she thought about him, the more she felt herself digging a grave for herself. Rafael.
What would he think of her? No. What would he do with her if he ever realized that she met Kaelith even after his disappointment?
Amara shuddered at the thought.
The room now held a chilling air that mirrored the testaments of her life. Amara's eyes lost in the shadows, reflected the weight of unspoken fears. Her gaze fixated on the wedding ring that felt heavier than ever on her trembling hand.
She felt like standing on a rift, where one side was a cliff, and on the other, there was an ocean.
Unconscious actions betrayed the conflict within.
She absently twirled a strand of her hair, a nervous tick.
The rhythmic tapping of her foot against the floor echoed the turmoil in her heart.
Emotions surged like a tempest. There was longing for the Kaelith, mingled with the fear of Rafael.
Amara's eyes now held a hint of sorrow and a flicker of something deeper – an unspoken realization that the walls of her own home had become a prison.
As she replayed the scenes of their unravelling relationship, a shiver ran down her spine. The man she used to feel safe around had morphed into someone she hesitated to look in the eye. The subtle bruises on her soul mirrored the visible ones that she concealed with long sleeves.
Her thoughts, like fragile threads, wove a tapestry of despair, leaving her trapped in the gilded cage of a life she had never imagined.
Her memories scattered like fragments of shattered mirrors. She desired to know what the last hold, was but was afraid of what she might explore there. Afraid of the monsters that lurked in the shadows of her nightmares.
The mere thought of delving into the abyss of forgotten memories sent tremors through her being. Unanswered questions looked like a ghost and the fear of the unknown.
She was caught in a paradox, yearning for the solace of her remembrance yet dreading the storms it would bring with it.
Amara sank into the couch with a deep sigh throwing her head back and looking at the ceiling.
The soft fabric of her long-sleeved dress cradled her tired frame.
With another sigh, she closed her eyes hoping for her fears to disappear.
The silence engulfed her and the subtle hum of the world outside dimmed.
The boundaries between reality and dream blurred as she felt her lids growing heavy.
She didn’t realize when she let the tears soak her cheeks, or when she let the sleep take over.
Cause the transition between consciousness and unconsciousness was so seamless she couldn’t recall when she let the sleep melt her away.
A melodic hum echoed in the back of her head as the soft peonies slid from her fingers, landing softly on the carpet. Her body relaxed and the monsters she wished to see in her dreams never came.
Instead, the glint of soft grey eyes flashed before her eyes before she fully slipped into slumber.
*******
Amara felt something cold trailing down her skin.
A gentle caress brushed against her cheek, a fleeting warmth that contrasted with the chill of the living room she was in.
Her unconscious mind sought solace in an instinctive yearning for warmth.
Amara's brows furrowed, a subtle reaction to the unfamiliar touch that offered comfort in the midst of the cold.
An involuntary groan left her lips as she tried to turn to the other direction where the warmth was coming from.
With a subtle shiver, Amara tucked her legs into what felt like a soft comforter.
Moaning to herself in delight, she unconsciously snuggled to the pillow.
Rafael silently watched her carefully. How could someone look so adorable and harmless in the state of the unconscious?
It had been two hours since he got back, and when he came back, he immediately saw Amara draped over the couch bundled in a ball shivering from the cold yet sleeping soundly as if nothing else mattered.
He almost woke her up when his heart started pounding loudly.
But he quickly cleared his throat and tried not to make any sound as he lifted her from the couch.
His arms cradled her, and he looked at the couch with a quiet gaze.
The couch was small but with her laying on it, it almost seemed like a bed for her.
Rafael quietly padded to his room, and gently put her on the bed, placing a pillow under her head and covering her with the comforter.
He turned the heater on and sat beside her, silently observing how the liner between her brows immediately flattened.
Rafael traced her delicate vulnerability with his eyes and found himself captivated by the ethereal sight before him. The play of shadows danced upon her features, and his touch, initially driven by the need to provide comfort, took on a reverent quality.
The way her pink lips parted as she drew in silent breaths, eyes shut, hair falling on her sides and as his eyes lowered to her neck covered with the frill design of her dress, he felt the urge to push the collar down and admire the marks he left her with last night.
His fingers traced the contours of her face as if he were touching a glass. So soft and sinful.
His eyes moved down to her body, taking in how her breasts strained the fabric of her dress, he licked his lips. She was so beautiful that he wanted to kiss every inch of hers.
He suddenly remembered the conversation he had had with Abigail that afternoon.
Abigail was right. Amara was his wife and he had every right to her. She was his in every way. Even if he slept with her without her consent, it wouldn’t matter because she was made to fulfil his desires.
His thoughts suddenly changed track.
Lust hooded his gaze as he slowly began tracing her neck, then fidgeted slowly with the collar of her dress pushing it down to expose the raging red marks on her smooth pristine skin.
Amara stirred in her sleep when she felt the follicles of her hair erecting.
A sudden sensation crept down her spine in a chilled manner.
The vivid image of her dreams slowly faded, and the peaceful world she created in her subconsciousness shattered down and replaced with darkness.
She ran as the ground beneath her fell into the dark abyss.
She felt like snakes were crawling underneath her skin as Rafael’s fingers pushed her collar side, her slender neck and cleavage exposed to his eyes. Just as he was about to place a kiss on her neck, she jolted awake.
Her breathing ragged and her eyes widened. She grasped for breath, the darkness she saw in her dreams matched the one in the room. All too unfamiliar room which wasn’t hers. The panic gripped her as she quickly grabbed the comforter and pulled it to her neck hiding her chastity from Rafael’s gaze.
“Rafael.” She regarded him with her feeble voice. Rafael twisted his lips. Way to ruin the moment.
“You’re awake.” He said with disappointment. Amara felt chills from the way he looked at her. She quickly looked around the room with terror in her eyes. It wasn’t her room, it was his.
Adrenaline-fueled panic gripped her. She swallowed and felt her breathing rising. “I will make dinner for you.”
She started to mumble as she started to gather herself together and hopped down the bed. But Rafael quickly gripped her wrist and pushed her down on the bed hovering over her.
Amara stilled with panic as he looked down at her with a lust-filled gaze. There was no love, no emotions whatsoever, just pure intense madness. “I already ate.” He whispered seductively leaning down to place a kiss on her cheek. Amara shut her eyes in disgust.
The visceral and unsettling sensation crept over her skin making her thrash in his hold.
“Stay still.” She recoiled as his lips descended to her neck. She tried not to flinch. She shouldn’t feel this way cause Rafael was her husband. But she couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease.
No matter who he was, she did not give him her consent. He was violating both her space and boundaries.
Gathering her courage, she struggled with newfound energy.
“Let go!” She hissed at him as Rafael chuckled to her shock.
“Let go? And where will you go, Amara? To Kaelith?” Amara stilled.
Not believing a word he was saying. How could he be so insensitive to her emotions?
He was her husband, one she should find solace in, one who should make her feel contempt.
But rather he was treating her like the women found on the side of the streets.
Her emotions swirled in anger, and pure disappointment as she seethed. Tears stung her eyes as she fisted her palms and struggled.
“I said let go!” She yelled moving her legs under him.
Rafael was taken by surprise by her outburst and before he could process it, she slipped through his hold and pushed him back with all her might. Jumping off the bed, she grabbed the sheets and hid her body with them. Her angry hazel eyes filled with tears glared at him with hatred.
“How could you do this to me!? I am your wife, Rafael! Why are you treating me like an object?!” She screamed tears running down her cheeks.
Rafael stood there for a second tilting his head to side as he processed her words.
“Object?” He chuckled darkly taking a step in her direction as she flinched and took a step back in fear. “If I was treating you like an object, you would’ve been under me the very moment you got your consciousness back.”
Amara shuddered in disgust. “You mean to rape me?”
She narrowed her eyes in disbelief.
Rafael scoffed. “Rape? You’re my wife.”
“Then treat me like one.” She muttered
“Where are these words coming from, huh? You were never the one to talk back.” She raised an incredulous brow, unable to comprehend what she was hearing.
“Talk back or I was the wife you would use every time?”
“Interesting. I like this version better. I guess I have to clip your wings, wife.”
Inside, she processed his words, her mind rejecting the implausible reality. The facade of the man she thought was her savior was now slowly pulling away revealing his true colors.
“W-What do you mean?” He whispered in utter shock.
“From today onwards, you’ll sleep with me in this room. Dare to defy me, I’ll show you what I can do.”
“You cannot force me-Ah!” She stammered when he fisted her hair and pulled her hair back.
“Ah-ha. No talking back. I miss the wife you were. Obedient and not so hateful.” He clicked his tongue shaking his head. Eyes so wild that it scared the wits out of her. “Either do what I say, or I’ ll cross all the limits and have you locked up in this room.”
Her heart raced when she felt his hand squeezing her waist. Disgust and repulsion travelled down her body as she clenched her jaw shut.
“Y-You’re hurting me!” She whimpered.
“I’ll hurt you more, got it? Now get ready for bed.” The malevolence in his voice dripped like venom. Her hands trembled and her body paralyzed as he jerked her hair back. “Understood?” He seethed.
And Amara wished for her memories to fade once again cause this man couldn’t be the husband she wished she had. This was not the sweet and caring Rafael she first saw. Who was careful with her? No. This was the monster of her nightmares.