32. Willa / Greer
CHAPTER 32
WILLA / GREER
S pitting out the toothpaste, I bend over to rinse my mouth and, eyes wide, watch the water flow up toward my mouth. I fill it with water, swish it around, then spit. The water turns and flows down into the sink again. That’s new.
I didn’t even notice my power rising. An unconscious thought to rinse my mouth and it flowed to do my bidding. Effortlessly. I wonder if this is why it looks so easy for everyone else… because it is.
A message pops up on my tablet. “New appointment.” I tap on it and see a new meeting set up with Beckett for this morning. Curious, I swipe through the next few days and see one for every day this week. Are we suddenly in a rush?
Well, they can wait until after breakfast. I hurry to the cafeteria, hoping to see River. He said he had classes yesterday, but I’m pretty sure he’s avoiding me. After what I told him, I don’t blame him. Associating with me could put his family in danger.
He’s sitting at a table dragging his fork through the eggs on his plate.
“If you want pancakes, I’ll get you some,” I offer with a tremulous smile.
He jumps at the sound of my voice, then chuckles. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you walk up. Thanks for the offer, but I’m not hungry.”
Biting my lip, I ask him, “If I grab breakfast, are you going to be here when I return?”
A tiny line appears between his brows. “Of course. Go, get food.”
My stomach is cramping with nerves, but I force myself to grab a muffin and some juice, then join him at the table. Leaning in close, I whisper. “I used my powers yesterday.” Barely, but it’s a start. “And again, this morning.” Although I’m not entirely sure how I did it.
He smiles. “That’s great, Greer. I mean it. Sorry, I’m worried about my mom and sister. We’ve never been apart this long. I’m going to have to leave soon.” He pauses. “I hate that you can’t come with me.”
My mouth turns down. “You never know what the future holds, right? We’re here, together, right now. Let’s meet up this afternoon. Okay?”
He drops his forehead to mine. “It’s a date.”
My tablet pings. “Sorry. I have to meet Beckett and Oliver this morning.”
His brow furrows. “I thought you met with them yesterday?”
I explain the new appointments on my calendar and shrug. “Maybe they want to take advantage of yesterday’s progress. Anyway, I’m glad. The faster I learn how to wield water, the better.” Before I think about it, I drop a kiss on his lips. “See you later.”
Frown still on his face, I leave him. Hopefully, things will be better between us this afternoon. When I enter Beckett’s office a few minutes later, both he and Oliver are talking quietly. They stop when I step into the room.
“Greer, thank you for joining us on such short notice,” Oliver says, a pleasant smile plastered on his face.
I ignore the smile and look at his eyes. They seem to be a better barometer of his emotions. Today, they’re more stormy grey than blue. Interesting. He’s upset. Is it me or something else?
Beckett is calm, of course. Does he ever allow himself to display other emotions?
“Yes, thank you, Greer. Given yesterday’s success, I thought repetition would be best, so I’ve scheduled this session for every day this week. Hopefully, we can quickly establish a connection,” Beckett explains with a smile.
Suspicious, I look from one smiling face to the other. “Why the rush?”
They glance at each other, then at me.
“Do you not want to do this? Was yesterday too much?” Beckett asks, the smile slipping from his lips.
Frowning, I shake my head. “No. I mean, yes, I want to do this, and no, it wasn’t too much. I … never mind. Anyway, it’s working.” I tell them about the water in the sink this morning. “Is that how effortless it is for everyone?”
Beckett and Oliver share a look.
“It was different for us. There isn’t a physical manifestation of our powers,” Beckett explains hesitantly. “People would often react the way I wished, but it didn’t occur to me that I was the one swaying their emotions. It wasn’t until I stepped into a fistfight and told them to calm down, and they instantly did, that I began to understand.”
Horrified at the thought of having the power to instantly influence everyone’s emotions, I shudder. “I know you used yours to calm me, and I’m grateful, truly, but I didn’t realize the extent of your abilities. Does it feel wrong when you use them?”
He flinches. “Are you scared of everyone’s abilities or only those with mental powers?”
Ouch. He’s not wrong, though. Thinking about it, I realize I’m fine around others like River or even Quaid, although I refuse to admit that out loud. “I guess… only the mental ones.”
Of course, he goes into analysis mode. “With all of the powers out there, I find it interesting that it’s only our type that you find scary. I wonder if there’s an underlying cause?”
Oliver huffs.
Beckett darts an irritated glance at him. “If you don’t watch it, I’ll make you smile all day.” Oliver straightens but says nothing.
“Let’s move on. Some of us will be leaving at the end of the week, but I would feel better if you had a grasp on your powers before we do.” He smiles. “The incident this morning gives me hope that you will.”
Nice try. “You’re leaving?” I look at him, then Oliver. “You too? Who else?”
Oliver scowls at Beckett. “Damn it. That’s top-secret information.” He looks at me. “You can’t tell anyone yet. Not even River. Promise me.”
“I won’t,” I assure him.
Panic wraps around me. River’s leaving. Now Oliver, Beckett, and likely several others. I’ll be here by myself. “I don’t want to stay if everyone is gone.”
Oliver takes my arms in his hands. “I’m sorry. You can’t go with us. It won’t be safe. You’ll have River, though.” The worried expression on his face tells me he didn’t expect my reaction.
I don’t dare tell him River is leaving, too. Instead, I ease out of his arms. “You’re right. It was a shock, but I’m fine now.” That damn word. Oliver’s brows crash together, but I ignore him and turn back to Beckett. “Can we get started?”
Beckett flicks a glance at Oliver. “Yes, we can. Oliver, get into position.” His tone is firm and surprises us both, but I guess he’s the boss in this office.
Oliver takes a half step closer and squares his shoulders as if he’s bracing for the enemy. “I hate this.” His voice is barely a murmur, but I hear him.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, closing my eyes so I don’t see his expression.
A curse slips from his lips, and a moment later, his hands wrap around my throat. A shiver works its way down my spine, but not with the usual fear. There is something about having this commanding man put his hands on me. I take a deep breath and clear my mind. A minute later, I’m still standing there, barely breathing, but nothing is happening.
Beckett leans in closer. “You have to squeeze, Oliver.”
“Give me a minute,” he mutters. “You’re welcome to take my fucking place.”
“Calm,” Beckett says, and a heavy sigh fills the air. “Greer, the second you feel your power, don’t hold back. Let it flow through you. We’ve got you.”
Seconds later, fingers squeeze my throat. Warmth twists into anger, and my power rushes to the surface.
Beckett’s low voice penetrates the darkness. “Put aside the anger. Let your other emotions rise.”
Unease fills me. I guess he doesn’t have to be in my mind to pick up on my emotions, but I like the fact that he’s letting me do it. My anger slips quietly away.
His voice moves behind me. “That’s it.”
Layers of guilt surface from the muddy depths of my mind. Copious amounts of guilt for so many things—my actions by the waterfall, Lionel’s death, leaving him at the gas station, not using my powers to save my parents or him. It’s all there. Layer after layer.
Hands slip from my throat, and I catch my breath as I feel them lightly rub across my skin before disappearing. Oliver hates doing this, and my continued resistance is making it worse. More guilt piles on.
Beckett breathes out. “Acknowledge it. Understand it. Now, let it go. Guilt is destructive and will tear you down from the inside out.”
I shake my head, unable to let it go. Without the guilt, what do I have? The answer comes to me. Gut-wrenching sadness. Pain lances through me, and I hear Beckett suck in a deep breath.
“I can distance you from it,” he offers. The timbre of his voice is like the warmest of blankets, wrapping around me. “You’ll know it’s there, but it will feel less sharp. Manageable.”
Before I even think about it, I shake my head. I don’t want him to influence my emotions. Besides, they deserve to be mourned. Family is everything. They were mine.
“You need to celebrate them, too,” Beckett murmurs on my left. “They lived and loved. Don’t let sadness dictate the memories.”
He’s right. Lionel used to say the same thing after my parents died. He helped me remember my father’s laugh and the smell of my mother’s perfume. All the birthdays we spent together, not just the last one. Now, it’s up to me to remember Lionel the same way. His joy of cooking. The pride he showed when I graduated with my bachelor’s degree. All the lovely moments we spent together. I miss him so much.
I open my eyes and stare at the man in the pressed suit, standing in front of me. “I’ve been sad for so long. It’s hard to let go. Living without my parents felt like a punishment.” The corner of my mouth lifts. “Lionel refused to let me ‘wallow’ as he liked to put it. He made me find a life. Yet, I couldn’t move past it. I functioned. I succeeded. But I never let anyone but Lionel close. I used to tell him I’d find someone after I graduated.”
Lionel’s dark green eyes, full of pain, surfaces, and I marvel at what a remarkable man he was and how much he meant to me. “Beckett’s right. Lionel deserves to be mourned, but he deserves to be celebrated too. They all do.”
Oliver reaches for me, but this time, he pulls me into his arms. Soap and a subtle musky cologne wrap around me along with his quiet strength. “Brad told me you were the daughter Lionel never had, and I believe it.”
“I want to make him proud. I want his sacrifice to mean something.”
Oliver raises a hand and sweeps the hair from my face. “I do, too. It’s why I’m leaving. We’re leaving.” Beckett makes a sound, but the look Oliver gives him stops his words. “We can’t sit on the sidelines anymore.”
Chills race up my spine. Not only are they leaving, but they’re going to fight. “Take me with you. I know I don’t know anything yet, but I can learn.”
He immediately places a finger on my lips. “No. It’s time for you to heal and find your future, not confront the enemy.”
Lifting my chin, I step away from him and shake my head several times. “You don’t understand. I don’t have a future.” Alone, I’ll have no chance. I have to make him understand. “Nowhere is safe. Hightower will hunt me to the ends of the earth.”
Oliver’s head tilts. “Why?”
Beckett lays a hand on my shoulder. “What makes you think that?”
Calm sweeps over me, and I jerk away from him. “Don’t. I’m not hysterical.” I bite my lip, knowing I’m going to have to reveal the rest of my secret. “Because I didn’t kill a random college student. I killed his son, Trent.”
Both men curse, and I flinch.
Wringing my hands together, I stand taller and look Oliver in the eye. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. To be honest, this place doesn’t inspire a lot of trust. You do, though.” I wave a hand at the prison-like walls. “Regardless, I can’t stay here, and I doubt I’ll be able to protect myself if I’m alone.”
Beckett moves to my side. “What about River? Won’t he leave with you?”
“He has other obligations,” I inform them.
Oliver scowls. “What obligations?”
I hesitate. It’s not my secret, but I know he’s too proud to ask them for help. Maybe Oliver can locate River’s family and bring them here. “He has a mother and sister. Both of them have powers. He needs to get back to them.”
The two men share a look.
“Where are they? We can bring them here,” Oliver assures me.
“I don’t know,” I reply, realizing I never asked River for their location. I assume he didn’t tell me because it wasn’t safe. “I’ll ask him. I guess that means you don’t want me to come with you.”
“We’re going to war,” Oliver patiently explains. “Everyone going is either a soldier or they’ve used their powers to fight the enemy. Unfortunately, we don’t have the capacity to assign someone to protect you.” He waves a hand. “To be frank, war is hell. With everything you’ve been through, it’s better if I find you a safe place to go.”
“Fine,” I tell him, watching his eyes narrow at the word. He knows I don’t mean it, but I’m betting he won’t call me on it.
“Do you want to practice your powers?” he asks after a minute, proving me right.
“I need a break,” I tell them, worn out from this session but also needing space to think, far away from them. “Is that okay?”
Beckett interjects before Oliver can answer. “It’s your decision. Locate one of us if you decide you want to try again today. If not, we’ll see you in the morning.”
Crushed by the thought of everyone leaving, depressive thoughts swirl in my head. Maybe Oliver can help River, but will he want me near his mom and sister with this massive threat hanging over my head? Probably not, and even if he did, where would we go? Neither River nor I want to remain here, but staying on the run isn’t an option, either.
Oliver’s right, too. Do I really think I can go to war? The last thing I want to do is put others in danger because they’re protecting me. Besides, I know absolutely nothing about fighting, only defending myself.