Chapter 4
FOUR
Asia
“So tell me about this place,” Jack said a few minutes later.
We were back outside on the porch waiting for Uncle Levi.
I looked at him, seeing the complete focus on his face. And despite everything, I felt safe.
Because this was Jack, doing what he’d done since the moment I met him.
Keeping me alive, niceties be damned.
A good reminder, because we were actually still trying to stay alive, and whatever emotional firestorm I found myself in was beside the point.
“The property is a hundred fifty acres, most of it forest or raw farmland. We have the main house, a couple of dormitories and outbuildings. Last time I was here, he had a couple of tractors, seven horses, some livestock—but that looks to have changed,” I said, my gaze sweeping the farm, cataloging the differences.
“What about the town?”
“Forty-five hundred people or so. As you can see, Sheriff Hayes is unofficially in charge. Even though there’s a mayor—or at least there was before—that’s more of a show position. They had some problems with meth and pills a few years back, but that seemed to have calmed down,” I said.
“Anything else?” he said.
He stared at me intently, and I decided what to say.
“Hayes is set in his ways, not exactly what I’d call a creative thinker, but I don’t think he’ll be a problem.”
“This place, though…” he said.
He was clearly considering something, and I looked at him, trying to determine what.
“What is it?” I said.
“I don’t know if this is defensible,” he said.
“There’s space,” I said, internally cringing at the useless interjection.
“Yeah, there’s space,” Jack said noncommittally.
“You don’t say that like it’s a good thing.”
“It may not be,” he responded.
Not the kind of comfort I was looking for, but this was Jack I was dealing with.
“Meaning?” I said tentatively.
“Meaning we play it out, see what comes.”
“And what if this place doesn’t work?” I hated to even speak the words, but the question, the fear, hung there, refusing to be denied.
Then Jack did the most unexpected thing. He brushed his thumb across my cheek. “I already told you, Counselor. We figure out what comes next. And you don’t get to do that without me. Not anymore.”
Jack
I let my thumb brush her cheek one more time before forcing myself to step back, my hands dropping to my sides. The evening air turned cooler and felt heavy on my skin.
Asia’s gaze searched mine, and for a moment, I saw something in her eyes that looked like disappointment. In me? In the fact that I’d broken contact? I didn’t know because as quickly as I saw it, it was gone.
Standing on the worn wood of her uncle’s porch, I again found myself thrust into unfamiliar territory.
I still felt her body under my hands.
Tasted her on my lips.
Saw the marks I left, proof that she was mine.
The smart thing would be to put distance between us and focus on logistics, survival, on how the fuck I was going to keep everyone alive.
But all I could think about was dragging her back into the shed and fucking her again, and again, and again until she understood what mine meant.
This wasn’t easy like killing zombies, reading terrain, assessing threats, and tactical advantages.
This was inside me, the desire—need—to touch her and the determination to keep my distance was un-fucking-precedented.
Every instinct told me to pull her close and promise her that everything would be fine. But that would make me worse than weak.
It would make me a liar.
I’d know for a long time that there was no such thing as a safe haven. Just places that hadn’t turned dangerous yet.
But I wanted that for Asia. I wanted her to be okay.
I needed her to be okay.
My hands clenched involuntarily as I thought back to two short hours ago.
I was sure that I wasn’t going to make it.
Didn’t bother me at all.
But the thought of failing her…of losing her was like a knife in the chest.
And it reminded me of what I needed to do and who she needed me to be.
She didn’t need someone to admire her bravery or her beauty.
She also didn’t need someone who wanted to chain her at his side, someone who would do exactly that if she kept being so fucking reckless.
She needed someone with a clear head and focused mind to keep her alive.
That was what I would do.
For her.
Even if she fought me every step of the way.
Asia looked at me, her eyes soft, patient, in a way that made me feel like my skin was too tight.
I turned away from that feeling and toward the yard, scanning the perimeter with newly focused eyes.
“Jack?” Asia’s voice was tentative, brimming with questions.
“Thinking through security,” I called over my shoulder without looking at her.
Before she could speak again, Caitlin and Elliot emerged from around the house. Elliot carried the case of water, while Caitlin twirled a pen between her fingers.
Their footsteps crunched on the gravel driveway, blessedly loud and disruptive in the silence. Elliot’s gaze flicked to Asia’s neck, then he looked away quickly, his cheeks staining red as he cleared his throat.
Asia reached up to touch the spot I’d bitten earlier.
She stood a little taller, rubbing her hands down her pants.
It was her tell. She knew Elliot saw it.
Knew that they all would.
Good.
I knew it, too, but I didn’t give two shits.
And now, that focus I’d been worried about narrowed to a single point.
Elliot and the way he moved closer to Asia, his expression animated as he tried to catch his breath.
My jaw tightened as I watched, Elliot standing close enough that his elbow grazed hers.
I reminded myself that this was Elliot. Kind, respectful Elliot, who’d been a big part in all of us getting here.
I still wanted to break his fucking hands.
I crossed the space between us in three strides and stepped between them.
Elliot had proven he was smart, and did so again when he stepped back.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Asia look at me.
I ignored her.
Elliot was helpful. Not an asshole.
That didn’t change the fact he’d been too close.
Touching her.
Anger, irrational but undeniable, welled up.
I never thought I’d be happy to see Caitlin, but the distraction was welcome.
“That took longer than I expected, but I had to look around. Your uncle’s shed is packed to the roof,” Elliot said, his voice threaded with nerves.
“There were always folks in and out of here. Aunt Kathleen always said we should have extra on hand,” Asia said, her voice overly bright.
She went to step away from me.
I grabbed her wrist and kept her in place.
Everyone wisely pretended not to notice.
“That’s way more than extra,” Caitlin said. “We need to inventory everything, calculate rations, and think of distribution and refill protocols.”
I couldn’t stop my quick nod of agreement, surprised that Caitlin was finally trying to think like a survivor.
“Good plan,” Asia said.
“It is, but let’s let Asia handle that discussion with her uncle to keep things on an even keel.”
Asia nodded, and I knew she would understand. Things were tenuous. But having met Levi and taken his measure, I knew there was no way he would turn Asia away.
And if the rest of us came along with the package, I guess that was what it was.
I wondered why she seemed so insecure, when how much the man loved her was obvious.
But that was something else I couldn’t concern myself with.
Instead, I grabbed the water from Elliot, walking back up the porch and into the house. “I need to talk to your uncle,” I said to Asia before I moved inside without waiting for a response.
The house was well cared for, modest, and homey in a way that I had never experienced, with photos lining the hallway.
I could see why Asia liked it here so much.
I could also see the absence of Aunt Kathleen.
The snow globe collection in the wooden hutch in the hallway definitely didn’t seem like Levi.
And something told me that if Kathleen were around, the two pairs of muddy boots leaning up against it wouldn’t be there either.
I found him in the kitchen, sitting at a white table with a pine top, a green mug from the local high school baseball team gripped in his hands.
Evan loved baseball.
I swallowed past that thought and the emotion that threatened to follow it.
“Little late for coffee, don’t you think?” I said, mostly to keep myself from thinking of my brother.
“Never too late for coffee and I don’t sleep no damn way,” he said.
“Yeah. Sleep’s getting harder to come by, like everything else,” I said. “How you doing on fuel for your generator?”
“Always keep three months. But that was when it was just me, Kathleen, and a few others. Got a full house now,” he said.
“So you’re letting us stay?” I asked.
“I didn’t say all that, Jackson Thorne.”
I put the case of water down, then pulled out one of the kitchen table chairs.
I rested my elbows on the table, then leaned forward, my gaze locked on Levi’s.
He didn’t blink.
I didn’t expect him to.
I didn’t blink, either. “What’s the game here?”
“No game, son,” he said.
“So why are you pretending you’re gonna let her walk out of here?” I asked.
“Not her I’m worried about,” he countered.
“Fair enough,” I responded, shrugging. “But I don’t mean Asia or anyone else any harm,” I said.
“Then what do you mean?”
I didn’t answer immediately. Then I decided that the best path was the truth, or as much as I could allow of it.
“We found ourselves in a tight spot. I made her a promise. I keep my promises,” I said.
“That simple?”
“Simple in the way most things should be. I know you’re smart enough to know that we are in a firestorm of shit,” I said.
“Yeah, that’s about the measure of it.”
“Even still, my word means something. I gave it to Asia. I followed through. I want to make sure she and the rest of them are okay.”
“And what’s in it for you?”
“I’ve always had a soft heart for lost causes,” I said.
That got a smile out of Levi, who took a sip of his coffee, then studied me. “Asia’s not that. That girl has the heart of a lion.”
“I’m learning that,” I said.