51. PRESENT TIME
51
PRESENT TIME
Nelle
L eaves wound around my ankles, skittering over the steps leading into the ancient stone temple. Centuries ago, mortal slaves painstakingly dismantled the temple. The stone blocks loaded onto caravels and carracks and transported across the Atlantic in an armada. Our ancestors left the old world, our Chapter moving in its entirety, to claim this new world of the Americas. Half of those mortals who came with my ancestors had been slaughtered, their blood and bone ground down and used as mortar to cement the temple’s blocks of stone into place. After the temple had been rebuilt, the remaining enslaved mortals were offered in sacrifice to Hazus, lord of Nine Hells, and his sister, mother Skalki.
The temple was enormous and reminiscent of a Greek structure. The surrounding trees were so tall their latticework of branches bowed over the sloping roofline, yet where the branches brushed against the stone, their limbs were skeletal, devoid of leaves, as though the temple itself were a deathly entity and nothing living could touch it.
Wrong, wrong, wrong— my senses sang. An eerie sensation skimmed across my skin as if the temple had awoken to my presence and expelled a chilling, venomous breath. An awareness prickled through the air and a shudder rippled down my spine. I kept away from this part of the woodland, no matter how much the thing inside pleaded and begged, demanded and insisted on coming here.
Torches burned in sconces. Wildfyre danced over gnarled creepers that were entwined around the doric columns dominating the porch and tangled about the relief sculptures carved into the sides of the buildings. Light and shadow played over the sickly moss and lichen, encrusting the images of our gods. Goat-like horns furled back from Zrenyth’s cold, angular face. Curves and grooves captured the beauty of mother Skalki. The goddess’s forked tongue unfurled. And winged Brangwene, with his reptilian skin, caught in mid-flight.
Upper and Lower Houses, immediate family members, and their high-ranking relatives were gathered around our temple like newly born spiders emerging from their nest. Younger children were not permitted at the ceremony of the Horned Gods for obvious reasons, which was why I hadn’t been present at Lise and Aldan’s engagement blessing a few years ago.
Tonight, we would offer our tithe as a sacrifice.
And her death would gift my sister with extended life and fertility.
Nausea roiled in my gut at the thought of facing the tithe I’d kept company with Graysen by my side. Her terrified, despairing sobs had awoken me in the middle of the night and were a memory I couldn’t erase.
Gods, what I’m going to witness tonight…
I pushed the frightening thought away, shoved it down deep, and frantically searched the faces of those nearby until I found her. Guards formed a cluster around my family, resembling an unkindness of ravens. There was only one person I desperately needed to see and speak with first. Hitching up my skirt, I ran for her as well as I could in these stupid shoes my mother had forced me into, the nearest guards stepping aside at my approach.
As soon as Evvie heard my clattering footfall over the uneven cobblestones, she spun around. “Nelle?”
I threw myself into her arms. “Evvie!”
We clung together, holding each other tightly. “Are you all right?” she whispered into my ear, her voice cracking. She pulled back and gently framed my face with her hands. Her eyes shone too brightly, and moisture dampened the lashes. I was sure she’d see the same in mine, my throat already thick with tears. “I’ve been so worried about you. Of what you’d do to him. And if he should discover you.”
“He didn’t.” Though Corné had been so close to finding out.
Evvie didn’t need to know that it was Caidan who’d stopped me just in time. She’d only worry further, knowing the Crowther brothers knew my secret.
Betrayal was a noxious fume clogging my lungs. Graysen obviously had told Caidan I was other , even though he’d given me his word he wouldn’t. When did he tell him? As soon as I’d shown myself after the Uzrek? Or when his brothers had first showed up on our estate?
It rankled and hurt that he’d spilled my secret. That his word meant nothing.
Yet, if he hadn’t shared what I was with Caidan —
Gods, I’d been a mere breath away from ending Corné, from choking the life out of him with my adamere bracelet.
Caidan hadn’t exposed me when, by all rights, he should have. Instead, he’d prevented me from revealing myself to Corné by stealing me from the laundry. I should be grateful, I knew that, but his actions were in direct contrast to how I’d always regarded the Crowthers. They detested me. Quiet, ice-cold Kenton stared at me as if sizing up an opponent, and Jett never bothered hiding his dislike, his hate-glares almost rivaling mine. So why keep my secret? Especially if it could advance themselves by handing me over to the Horned Gods and then watch my family fall.
I couldn’t fathom why they hadn’t.
There were so many missing puzzle pieces that made up the Crowther family. I’d walked most of the way through the woodland thinking about Graysen, what he’d confessed, those whip marks at the hand of his aunt, and the death of his mother by the Horned Gods.
What must it have done to him, turned him into?
I knew I was intertwined with his mother’s death. Precisely how, I didn’t know, but the suspicion sat heavily in my chest with icy dread.
Evvie’s disappointed frown brought me back from my troubled thoughts. She shook her head at me. “That temper of yours.”
My mouth fell open. “Can you blame me? He’s been hurting you, Evvie.”
“It’s just—”
I was done with her trying to downplay it. “Just a few bruises? Go on… That’s what you were going to say, wasn’t it?” I hissed out an infuriated breath. How far would she go to hide it from us? Would she tell us if he took a fist to her face, or pushed her so hard she broke a bone?
“What else has he been muttering to you?” I’d seen the way her smile faltered, the pale quality of her complexion as he whispered slyly into her ear.
All the color drained from Evvie’s face and her hands trembled slightly as she lowered them from my cheeks. She half-turned away so the wildfyre limned her edges in blue and cast the rest in shadows so dim I couldn’t see her expression.
Gods, what insidiousness had he been spilling to her? The creature reared up, hissing and snarling, and I took a moment to force the rising anger to dissipate and willed the dark power to quieten.
I gently tugged on Evvie’s arm. “You didn’t tell me.”
She turned back, wiping at the tears clinging to her lowered lashes. Her voice broke as she said, “And what would you have done? Lost it, that’s what. You’d have given into your temper to protect me. I’m the one who protects you, little sister. Me.”
I leveled my gaze at her. “I don’t need your protection.”
She hitched a shoulder, trying for a smile, but it was tremulous. “I beg to differ.”
Wrapping my arms around her middle, I hugged her tightly. We half-snickered, half-sniffed back our tears. Looping a hand about her arm, I hustled her away.
The Wychthorns had a line of guards separating us from the other Houses. Some families were entering the temple to take their places inside the chamber, while the rest milled about talking to other members of our society. Their chatter and murmurings were a clamor of discordant noise inside my head. I rubbed at my ears, the sound as irritating as the itchiness of my skin. The creature was stirring and stretched along my bones, curious and intrigued by the temple and all these lethal souls gathered in one spot.
My mother spoke with Lise, a rare smile illuminating her face, while my father was engaged in conversation with Aldan and his father, Lukus Reska, overlord to the gambling arm of our empire. My father caught our movement, angling his head toward me. A single flash of relief shone in his eyes to see me returned and safe, then the emotion was shuttered away so quickly I doubted anyone else would have seen it. He turned his attention back to Lukus. But there’d been a promise that we’d be speaking soon.
I led Evvie beneath the draping boughs of a willow, far enough for us to speak openly without our family overhearing. Two guards shadowed us but halted as soon as she held up a palm.
I gently ran my hand down Evvie’s arm and over the soft silk hiding her shame. When I thought back on it, she’d been wearing long sleeves for a while now. And those bruises…some of them were old. Guilt gnawed at me. Why hadn’t I realized this sooner? “You didn’t say a word to me. You hid this from me, from all of us.”
Like her friendship with Caidan. What else was she hiding?
Taking her hand in my own, I felt the slight trembling of her fingers and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t marry Corné. End the engagement. Call this off now.”
Long lashes feathered against her cheeks when her eyes fell shut briefly. Beneath my hands, hers flexed as she sucked in a sharp breath, and her answer was resolute. “No.”
I blinked, taken aback by the fierceness of the word. “Evvie, father won’t allow it when I tell him how Corné’s been treating you.”
She gave me a sad look, like I was a naive child, and I suppose she was right, me thinking our father would put her above what he needed to carry on with the mantle of the Great House. Absurd.
“Please,” I begged her. “He can’t force you to do this. All you have to do is say no, walk away.”
“I might not marry him after all, little sister.”
Wait…what?
For a long moment, only silence flowed through me.
I squinted at her, my mind reeling.
Evvie’s gaze turned sidelong and fell on Corné, who remained unusually quiet as he stood beside Carola, her mouth never ceasing in motion. His cheek was an angry portrait of revulsion—swollen and bruised and blotched with blood crusting the grazes from where I’d struck him with my bracelet. But he was cradling his hand. One of his fingers was bound in gauze and strapped straight.
“I didn’t do that to him…” I breathed out in shock.
Evvie chewed her bottom lip, giving me a rueful glance. “I might have slapped him and afterward stood on his hand. I might have broken his finger on purpose.”
I clutched her upper arm as stunned laughter burst from me. “Are you serious?”
She gave me a devious look. Her chuckle joined mine. “It felt good, really good.”
My hair ruffled as I shook my head in disbelief. Letting go of her, the knotted trunk of the willow tree dug into my spine as I leaned against it. My eyes widened in wonderment at my older sister. She had an amazing, confident smile on her mouth that rounded her cheeks softly.
Evvie sighed, and the fabulous smile disappeared. She slowly twisted around and joined me, leaning against the tree. Her shoulder pressed against my arm, and I realized her gaze was narrowed on Corné. “If I do this right. I won’t end up marrying him.”
I stared at her sidelong, trying to process what she’d said.
What did she mean by that?
However, a faint smile bloomed on my mouth as relief rippled through my entire body.
“But I do need to go as far as being engaged to him,” Evvie amended.
My heart lurched. Not quite what I was hoping for, but still, she wasn’t going to marry him, and that alone lifted my spirits. As did the glint of steel strengthening her tone as she spoke. “The Pellans are up to something. Working on something so secretive, even Father doesn’t know. They’ve got a direct link with Master Sirro on this.”
I knew that. I rubbed my temple with the heel of my palm, my mind spinning back to the night the Pellans turned up at our home.
What had Graysen told me? They’re on the verge of giving birth to something that will gain the Horned Gods’ favor.
“Whatever it is,” my sister continued. “Corné believes it will ensure they’ll rise above us. We’ll be usurped and the Pellans will be shifted up into the Great House.” Her fingers curled into fists and her lips thinned. “I won’t allow that to happen. The only way I can get into the Carpellean Mountains and their laboratory is through Corné. I need Corné to get access. If we’re engaged, he’ll let me in. And if, at first, he won’t allow it, I’ll force him.”
My breath clenched tightly in my lungs with surprise. My sister pushed off the tree, pacing a few steps. There was still sweetness in her, and a sliver of self-doubt, but there was courage too. That she should try, even if she failed. I liked that look on her.
I shook my head in disbelief and awe. “What the hells happened to you, Evvie?”
She blew out a surprised puff of air and shrugged. Long lashes framed her widened eyes, as if whatever was going on in her mind she was trying to come to terms with it herself. “Graysen Crowther, of all people.”
Hearing his name had my skin tightening all over and my heart fluttering in my throat like a moth stuck in a bottleneck.
It took a few seconds, where I remained perfectly still and dumbfounded, for what my sister had shared to catch up inside my head. Graysen? It astounded me. My tongue was suddenly so heavy in my mouth I couldn’t even move it to ask— How?
She glanced away to stare at the Pellans strolling up the stone steps and disappearing into the temple, before bringing her gaze to mine. She remained thoughtful. Considering. “He said some things to me that made sense. That made me want to fight back. That gave me the strength to pursue an idea I already had, but hadn’t the guts to act on.” She tugged at the cuff of her sleeve before gifting me with a wry smile. “He’s not as bad as I thought.” She paused for one long moment, then her nose wrinkled as she leaned slightly closer to me. “Well, maybe it might be too early to change my mind about him. But I’ll give him a chance. For you.”
Because Graysen and I were to be married. That’s what she thought. That’s what everyone thought. Unease snaked through me because he’d never mentioned marriage, not once in all those years since the marriage contract was signed. And still no word of it, even now with my twentieth birthday so close. No mention of it from any of his family, either.
And now, knowing about his mother and how she’d died. Not in a car crash, as the rest of the Houses believed, but at the hands of the Horned Gods. And his aunt had punished him brutally for his failure to protect his mother.
But how could you protect your loved ones from the malevolent force of the Horned Gods?
However, this wasn’t about me and Graysen. This was about Evvie and Corné.
Evvie’s gaze had been drawn away from me again. I followed her line of sight and it fell upon the Crowthers. They stood apart from the rest of the Houses, clustered together like shadows, stoic, unreadable, unapproachable. Graysen stood beside his aunt, and I wondered how he could, after all she’d done to him.
He’d changed into a new tuxedo, custom-made and tailored to his lethal physique. He arranged his body in presumed casualness—leaning on one hip, with a hand tucked into a pocket. I could read him though, the tension lines around his jaw, the skin creased and feathered from unblinking eyes, the fixed way he stared at the massive arched entryway to the temple, the stone cut to resemble the fanged mouth of Hazus, god of Nine Hells. He was aware of my attention, yet refused to look in my direction.
As if she’s everything.
Graysen abruptly spun around and stalked off, punctuating how he felt with every brusque step.
My heart clenched, then sank.
He didn’t wish to want me. And I didn’t know if it made me feel even more pitiful for knowing it.
Evvie’s voice startled me from my disheartened thoughts. “Whatever I discover,” she said, her gaze meeting mine, bright and finely honed, “hopefully will allow Father to strategically place us in a position that ensures our continuation as Great House.”
Her gaze slid away and I saw her expression dim and become a little clouded with hurt.
“And Caidan?” I asked, because she wasn’t looking at Graysen any longer. She was staring at his younger brother. Caidan was the only one of the Crowthers talking to another House. He stood at the edge of his family with one of the Estlore girls. Elyse Estlore was a year or two older than Evvie, with long blond hair twisted into an elegant top-knot and blue eyes that sparkled with humor at whatever Caidan was sharing with her.
Evvie gnawed on her bottom lip before answering. “Just friends.”
I flicked her arm with the backs of my fingers, hard enough that she startled, her rounded gaze swinging back to me. Pinching my lips, I folded my arms across my chest and gave her a look that said I was onto her lies and I wasn’t going to put up with them any longer.
A crestfallen look swallowed her features, and her shoulders slumped. “Father abhors the idea that you’ll be married to Graysen, so he’s not going to be swayed to allow another daughter into that family.” She dropped her gaze to her hands as she threaded her fingers together, rubbing them back and forth. “And…I… he …” Her nose scrunched as she shook her head as if laughing at her own absurdity. “It’s not as if I don’t know what he’s like. I mean, look at him, he’s such a flirt.” She gestured toward Caidan. “He can’t help himself.”
When I turned to the Crowthers, Caidan had Elyse in a fit of laughter, one hand resting on her shoulder, a boyish grin dimpling his cheeks.
Exasperation had my mouth thinning at the sight. Still, I couldn’t stay my tongue. I’d seen what was on Caidan’s face in the laundry, that yearning, the belief the feeling wasn’t returned. I might have shared this with Evvie because ?I owed him. “He might be talking to her, but he’s not stopped looking at you.”
I’d felt his attention all over Evvie while we’d been tucked together beneath the low-hanging branches of the willow tree. Swift, sharp, stolen glances, as if he couldn’t prevent himself from looking.
“That doesn’t mean he has any real feelings for me. Ones he’d act on.”
“But you hope he might.”
She sighed as she tipped her gaze to the canopy of rushing leaves. “There’s no use hoping for things out of my reach, Nelle. All I can do is focus on me, what I can achieve.” When her eyes sliced to mine, a sly gleam darkened their color, and like the wondrous smile I’d witnessed her give Caidan in the laundry, this was the same but of a different nature. I’d never seen that cunning stare before, nor heard the cold, calculating tone in her voice either. “And I am going to. I will find out what’s going on inside the Pellan Laboratories. I’ll find out and give what I learn to Father. But it will be an exchange of information, for the right price.”
Ruthless. That’s what I instantly thought and had never considered my sister could be. She astounded me, and I could only blink blankly as she said, “I’ll trade whatever House Pellan is up to in exchange for my right to choose my husband. And you too.”
You too— had my eyes widening and my heart thundering.
“Maybe what I learn will be valuable enough that you won’t be forced to marry Graysen Crowther.” She smoothed her hand down the front of her dress as she squared her shoulders, but her voice softened when she whispered, “Well, that is, if you don’t want to.”
I turned toward Graysen, my body instinctively knowing exactly where he’d moved to stand near Caidan, even if my mind didn’t.
If I had the choice…would I marry him?
His gaze shot to mine as if this time he couldn’t help himself, couldn’t deny the taut line of energy singing between us, tugging each to the other.
The moment our gazes collided, every cell in my body awakened with a crackling jolt. The wind ruffled his charmingly disarranged hair as he stared back. His eyes were as inky-black as the crest of darkness high above a city skyline, its nightlife blanketing the stars. And I lost myself within their endless depth with no stars to guide myself home, no way to find an escape from within him.
I wondered if he felt the same.
If I affected him the same way he did me?
Neither of us able to deny or stop this attraction.
But there was nothing on his expression. Nothing at all.
As if I meant absolutely nothing to him.
A brisk gust of wind whipped tendrils of my hair across my eyes, which had come loose from the braided tiara. My lashes narrowed instantly, and I blinked against the moonlit strands. Tucking the wayward locks behind my ear, I tilted my head into the wind, and it was like a trick of the light reflecting off the dusty surface of a glacier—a crack rendered through the icy wall Graysen projected around himself. Enough for me to peep through and see past the facade, the turbulent emotion roiling inside those conflicted eyes, the remorse and awe and banked desire as he stared back at me.
It slammed into me with stunning simplicity. The man who’d kept me company all this year wore his brooding and sullen mood like armor, his apathetic, bored-as-fuck tone as a shield, and that jerkass attitude was his blade.
He was a godsdamned liar!
He, like me, had hidden himself well.
Perhaps even better, because he’d refused to face his own truth.
He’d kept himself distant all this time because he really liked me, that much deeper kind of like too, and this was not a new feeling for him either. Even his brother was aware of it, and thank Zrenyth, had thrown him spectacularly under the bus.
As if she’s everything.
It should have filled me with joy. I should have been bouncing up and down with glee .
Instead, it was a match to dry kindling, and my temper ignited.
I popped a fist on one hip. He was an idiot if he thought he could keep up this charade. Though he didn’t want to want me, it still meant he wanted me.
I mouthed— Such a liar, Graysen Crowther.
Shock exploded in his midnight eyes, a flame to illuminate the darkness. And I smiled in delight to see him unnerved, how he scrambled to bring back the guardedness in his gaze. The anxious way his features tightened, the muscles corded starkly against his tattooed throat, the tension in his hands as he flexed them by his side.
Too late, Graysen Crowther.
And I couldn’t resist giving him a wink and mouthing —Gotcha!