62. Chapter 62
62
Nelle
N aked, Graysen stood before me, scarred, tattooed—resplendent.
His sheer physical size enhanced by the shadows.
Breathtaking in his beauty.
I still hadn’t looked down. Instead, I locked my unwavering gaze on his while wondering what the hells I’d done.
The shock of what I’d invited, the utter recklessness of it, was a slap in the face, and it snapped me out of the wild desperation that had ensnared me. I hadn’t been thinking. I’d been feeling . Caught up in the wretchedness of death and grief and the hopelessness of being bound to the Horned Gods. How they held us, insignificant, in the palm of their hands. At the whim of their will.
All I wanted was to feel alive . I’d survived that bloodshed in the temple when what had happened to Elyse could so easily have happened to me . What had happened to her parents could have happened to my family. I’d wanted a moment of respite from the soul-devouring guilt that I’d survived when they had not.
And I’d blatantly incinerated Graysen’s clothes, silently asking for something for which I was no longer sure I was ready.
I stood, frozen, the broken, rotten alder tree behind me. The atmosphere had changed. Now it crackled with intense uncertainty from me and, from him, pure hunger that scraped against my skin with sharp teeth.
Graysen flicked the messy locks from his forehead with his hand. Only the hank of hair didn’t settle into place, and slipped back down, dipping above thick eyelashes. His black eyes were almost otherworldly — the shine of a beast that hunted at night. The glint in their midnight depth was the edge of a sharpened blade—fixed on me.
What had I been thinking ?
I closed my eyes, gathering my courage.
Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think—just give in.
And Graysen could do that for me. He could let me feel something other than overwhelming desperation and grief — a heavy weight tied to my ankle pulling me down, down, down beneath the surface of an algae-choked pond.
His voice was low and seductive and rich with challenge. “Look, little bird.”
He taunted me to open my eyes, and I did.
Graysen’s essence was the cold snap of dawn, but there was lightness, too. His soul lingered in the shadows, and I thought that was fitting, since the gloom of the night had settled around him like a cloak. His hand snaked down, as he stared at me heavy-lidded. “Take a good, long look.”
I swallowed hard, my hands clenching and unclenching at my sides.
Inhaling a deep breath, I let my gaze slowly drift down the tattooed throat, broad shoulders, muscular chest branded with a wyrm and inked with fire, the ripple of abs, and lean hips with the V…
Holy Skalki!
Graysen lazily stroked himself, that thick cock stiff in his fist. My mouth went dry as I took in his size. The length and thickness, the glistening crown.
Oh my gods…
“What do you want, little bird?”
What did I want?
But that was a ridiculous question since he was standing before me utterly naked and I couldn’t take my eyes off his fist, moving up and down that exceptional length.
Except—
Except I was going to use him, and the knowledge added to the miasma of wretchedness and guilt fouling the gaping hole in my chest.
That thing that existed between us shimmered against my skin, a melodic whisper, urging me to take what I needed.
Just give in, don’t think…let go of the grief…
His cedar scent wrapped itself around me, scrambling my senses, and despite myself, I watched him. That fist, moving languidly up and down, sent arousal spiraling through me, dampening my panties and making a heavy, throbbing ache beat between my thighs.
His low rumble of laughter had my eyes widening and darting back to his smoldering gaze. He purposely flared his nostrils and tilted his head. He knew it, scented what my body craved, even if there was still a small part of me unsure .
“What. Do. You. Want?” he said darkly, on the verge of a bark.
My mouth was an arid desert, my tongue sluggish. I barely pushed the word out—“You.”
But there was more. And didn’t he deserve my honesty? Like our kiss in the well of water, I wanted his truth. I’d wanted him to kiss me the way he wanted to, and now, with this, I desired the same. I looked at him beneath my lowered lashes. “Your truth. It’s not your darkness, nor your light.” It had always been in the shadows where he resided. “It’s your shadows I want most.”
I wanted his heart as well, but I didn’t say that out loud.
His question twined around me like mist, cool and damp and unexpected. “You want my shadows?”
Was I ready for this?
I nodded because the air had tightened in my throat, and my heart thundered against my ribs.
One thick eyebrow rose and the pleasure that gleamed in his eyes was both carnal and sensuous, as if I’d caressed him. I’d pleased him, and stupidly, stupidly , I realized far too late, I’d freed him.
While I’d never feared him, there was a small sliver that always knew I should have. This was a man not given to mercy, who dominated ruthless crime lords and crushed anyone who dared cross his authority. His hands, broad and roughened from his skill with the blade, had ended lives and stolen souls.
The change that came over him was swift and menacing, and this time I gave into that sliver of fear. It erupted, swirling through my veins, stuttering my heart.
I took a hurried step back.
Dominance and hunger vibrated from him. Desire, too. He was a starved wolf wrapped up in beauty. While it was true he was made of shadows, they only existed between the play of light and darkness…and right now, his darkness was barely leashed.
Muscles flexed and rolled with his predatory gait as he stalked closer, naked, his cock pointing at me. With the murkiness of the stormy night, he was smoke and shadows, a glint of white teeth.
I held up my hands, suddenly terrified. “Wait.”
The gold in his eyes glittered—pleased. He liked me this way, off-kilter and afraid.
I took another step back and sideways, keeping him in my sight. That’s what one did with an untamed animal — slow, careful movements. My heart was a wild, erratic beat in my chest. One side of his mouth curved up in male satisfaction, as if he felt it vibrating in the air, inside his own chest too.
“Wait,” I needed to…what… what did I need? Time to think this through? Plan for it? Change my mind?
“Too late, little bird. I’ve waited long enough.”
I closed my eyes briefly. What do I want?
Distraction? To pull in a breath against the guilt crushing my lungs? To feel alive?
I couldn’t hear his footsteps, no crunch of leaves and dead matter to give him away, but I felt him shifting closer, hunting me, animal bright eyes burning my skin.
It was only a brief moment of consideration, so when I opened my eyes, fear speared through me to find he’d disappeared from sight. He’d circled behind. I whirled to face him, but he kept pace, circling around me. Nothing more than a beast with claws and fangs. “Stop!”
“Stop. Wait. Yes. No,” rumbled from him, almost angrily.
This time when I turned, he had stilled, waiting for me to catch up. He was so close, too close. I retreated a few stumbling steps, and something rough and solid jarred into my lower back. It was one brief motion of glancing away to see the fallen alder tree blocking my retreat, and when I twisted about, he was flush with me, barely an inch between us. He towered over me, his stance humming with threat, intimidating me with his size and the fierceness of the dark promise glowing in his eyes. “I know what you want, little bird — the desperation and need to feel alive after so much death, even if it is my cock pushing into your wet heat.”
His words should have offended me. His stance should have terrified me enough to spin around and swift . But something hot and molten twisted inside of me, flaring through my core. Arousal, I realized, shocked at the idea that fear and arousal could mix so effortlessly.
The warmth of his body scorched my own when he chewed through the scant distance separating us. He braced his hands on either side of me on the rotten trunk of the alder, bending slightly so his face hovered close but above so I had to arch my neck to align my eyes with his. The air held in my lungs.
“If you want me. If you want to use me as a distraction…” My spine locked and heat scorched my cheeks as I chewed the corner of my bottom lip, ashamed that I could be so easily seen through. But he didn’t seem offended. His gaze sharpened on my lips. “Say ‘cock.’ I want to hear the word spilling from your pretty mouth.”
The word rolled off my tongue before I could think further, more breath than voice .
Pride and satisfaction burned in his eyes, making those flecks of gold shimmer right before his next curt demand. “I want your cock.”
I knew what he was asking me to say, to give permission for him to do. So I closed my eyes and said it. The words were bittersweet and tainted with more than a small amount of fear because this was Graysen Crowther. I wasn’t asking a fumbling frat boy to take my virginity. I was asking him .
I heard him say, “Good girl. I’ll go easy on you, little bird.”
He’d been playful when we’d been together in my bedroom after the Uzrek. Now… now …I didn’t know this side of him. My mind couldn’t anticipate what he’d like…what he’d like to do with me, to me. Brutal possibilities spun in the chaos of my mind.
The shock of cool air swirling between us had my eyes flaring open to see that he’d straightened.
Slowly, he traced a square-tipped finger along my hairline, down to where my hair was tied into a ponytail with a thin lock of hair wrapped around fine elastic. Untying it, he carefully tugged it loose. He deftly unwove the braid crowning my forehead and spread my pale hair across my shoulders. “Better,” he murmured. Pinching wavy strands between his thumb and finger, he ran down its long length as if measuring its quality. The back of his hand brushed gently against the swell of my breast and I sucked in a breath as a zing of electricity crackled through my nerves.
The scrape of his calloused fingers against my skin was exquisite when he slipped his hand inside the bodice of my dress to cup a breast. Arousal pinched my nipples taut and my breathing came faster, my whole body flushing and burning with desire. His thumb rolled the peaked tip of my nipple back and forth, drawing a strangled moan from me. I fell deeper into that primal side, ravenous to alleviate the strumming need between my thighs that had me clenching around nothing.
In a slow sensual move, he turned me to face away, before pulling up my skirt, the fabric tickling my outer thighs as his fingers slid under the hem of my panties. Thick, roughened fingertips teased as he stroked lower and lower, but never quite going as far as I wanted him to. Never quite touching the place that throbbed and pulsed with every glancing pass.
Warmth met my temple when he pressed his lips there in a tender kiss. “This is mine.” His other hand cupping my breast squeezed. “And this too.” And I knew he would have been talking about my body, but I wondered if he knew that his large palm was splayed across my thundering heart. His hand slid down further beneath my pantyline to cup my sex, squeezing possessively. His voice rumbled deeply into my ear. “This pretty pussy is mine. I want it coming all over my cock.”
The words, the laced threat, spread through me like a fever, spiking an intense desire for it too.
Nudging a finger against my entrance, he pushed it inside, the heel of his palm pressing on my clit. My inner sex clenched around his finger, trying to draw him deeper, and my ass bucked into him as I cried out, making him hiss out a breath through his teeth. “Gods, Nelle, fuck .”
Wet. I was so wet down there. A flush stole across my cheeks.
But gods, that felt good, as he slowly, deliciously, pumped once, twice more.
His teeth gently nipped the shell of my ear. “So greedy for me, little bird.”
Pulling his finger free, he adjusted my position slightly, so I was cradled sideways against his chest, looking up at him a little dazed. He raised the glistening forefinger to brush it along my bottom lip, painting my arousal on the plump flesh, before smiling lazily. “Taste yourself.”
My mouth parted, darting my tongue out to lick the tip of his finger, but he pushed all the way inside. The rough skin against the softness of my mouth…I imagined that was what he was thinking of, wondering if it would feel like this when he pushed his body inside mine. When I twined my tongue sensually around his finger, he groaned and lust seared his eyes midnight-black.
My brows knitted together. I could taste myself—feminine and something indiscernible.
A low growl. “That’s how I make you feel. I do that to you .”
His blazing gaze dipped to my lips as he pulled his finger free a moment before he claimed my mouth, his tongue licking inside, confident and sure, jolting my body into full arousal. And I came to life. Every sensation felt severe. My breath in my throat felt like razor blades, my blood heated to an inferno, and the silky fabric of my dress was now a thornberry bush scratching against my skin.
More. I needed more. I needed him.
I twisted around within Graysen’s embrace to face him fully and slid my hands on his chest, his pecs flexing beneath my palms, and the ridgeline of his erection throbbing against my stomach. With his kiss, all my churning thoughts evaporated.
My powers slipped outward to stir the air in swirling currents, rustling leaves and teasing our hair. The darkness hummed with static electricity. The creature was burned out and curled up inside, but it was also curious, eagerly anticipating and purring with the pulsing ache of my core.
Graysen’s touch skimmed underneath my dress to stroke my outer thighs, and it felt so godsdamn good that I shivered at the contact. Feeling my response beneath his palms made his hands flex in reply. He tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth, slowly releasing, with a groan that danced along my mouth and sank into my bones before he scorched a sinuous path of open-mouthed kisses down my neck, to my shoulder, pushing the dress aside to nip and suck on my breast. I wove my fingers through his hair, holding him to me, gasping with every swipe of his tongue over my nipple, echoed by his tortured groan.
Straightening, he took my elbows and turned me back around to face away from him. The fallen tree trunk pressed across my hips, and confusion jarred my mind for a moment.
What is he doing?
A touch—a large hand spread over my back that pushed me forward. The rotten tree trunk pressed into my stomach as I bent over. Beneath my curled fingers were patches of broken bark and smooth, slippery wood, while mildew and a damp earthy smell tickled my nostrils.
Graysen gently urged me to bend further until I was balanced on my tippy toes.
My skirt was flipped up and the cool air of the night kissed my bare skin. I was exposed like this and made vulnerable to him.
“Beautiful,” he murmured. His body heat warmed mine as that awareness bounced between us. One of his hands gripped the tree trunk next to mine and his thumb grazed my pinky. He leaned over me…and then… then …I felt a light feathering stroke against my spine—not fingertips or his palm, it was the back of clenched fingers. Up and down and up again and it burst into my mind what he was doing—pleasuring himself in long languid strokes.
Sudden panic flared. He was going to take me, my first time, here, pressed around this tree from behind. I would be facing away, unable to touch him, made powerless by this position. My voice was shrill, my body pushing back, trying to shove my way free. “Not here, not like this.”
Snatching a handful of my hair, he fisted and arched my neck. I gasped as a slight shock of pain flashed over my scalp before my gaze slid sideways to where he loomed over me. His eyes narrowed but burning bright with desire.
A low growl clawed from his throat, and all the fine hair on my nape prickled. “You want rose petals scattered across a bed, candles, and champagne? An inexperienced boy from the Upper Ranks crawling on top of you?” He bent and scraped his teeth down my neck—a lick of his hot, wet tongue along my collarbone. “You’ll take me however I want you.”
And exactly like those other moments, where his touch soothed me, my panic eased as the crisp smell of cedar whispered over me. It wasn’t the woods. It was Graysen. The scent of him strangely calming. “That’s it…” he murmured, trailing the tips of his fingers between my shoulder blades, following the rippled path of my spine to the middle of my back. His hand spread, and he gently pushed me down, my stomach conforming to the tree trunk, my hair falling in tangled locks.
His fist clenched the fabric of my panties. They were torn from me, a scrap of white floating in the breeze, and the dress was next.
The slap of chilly air on my bare flesh made me suck in a sharp breath.
A hard length pressed against my ass, hot silk and steel, right before his chest enveloped my back, his hands brushing down my arms to lace his fingers through my own. I was swallowed up by him. Drowning in him. Skin to skin, that dusting of magic, whatever bound us to one another, strummed and sparked against our bare flesh. Zephyrs, streams of warm air, spun and caressed our bodies, lifting leaves from the woodland floor. His groan was desperate, helpless even, as his fingers clenched around mine tighter. The silkiness of his hair, the nudge of his nose, hot open-mouthed kisses along my neck. I moaned, throbbing and aching everywhere, arching into the touch of his lips, not realizing until too late that he’d unlaced his fingers from my own, only to slide them over my hands to silently encourage me to hold on. “I’ve had a long time to think about all the ways I want to play your sweet body with my hands and my mouth and my tongue.”
Oh gods…
A full-body shiver of anticipation ran through me and I heard his huff of delight and approval. With a tender touch, he brushed my hair over a shoulder. “You have no idea how much I’ve hungered for this.” He slid one hand across my slick sex and pinched my clit. I bucked, gasping, the sharp pain too much —too much— and then the sensation blended to exquisite heat. Shockwaves of pleasure rippled through me and set me on fire. “I’ve had one taste and already I’m addicted. You’re a fever in my blood and I need a fucking hit of you.”
Angling my head slightly, he pressed a kiss to my temple. His weight was suddenly gone — kneeling behind me, I realized as I panted, worrying my teeth on my bottom lip, biting back my moans and failing as his fingers gently circled my clit. His words and touch turned everything inside me into such sharp relief it hurt.
Nipping my ass cheek, he soothed it with a gentle lick. When he next spoke, his voice was low and gravelly. “I’m a man stumbling in from an ice storm, little bird. I’m hungry and desperate and in need of your sweetness and sunshine. I want it coating my tongue, dripping down your thighs. And beautiful, I am going to eat my fill of you, licking up every honeyed bead, until you’re crying my name and screaming no more, because I. Am. Fucking. Starving .”
Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods—
“Ohmygods…” I gasped because all rational thought had been obliterated.
The moment his tongue glided along my wet folds, I bucked again and a shriek tore from my throat. He huffed a satisfied laugh. The breath and his next words vibrated right through my core. “Say it, beautiful. Say, ‘I want to come until I can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t take anymore.’”
I hissed through my teeth as his tongue dipped inside…in and out…in and out…drawing moans I tried to bite back and couldn’t.
“Little bird,” he growled in warning.
“I-I want to…” I gasped out brokenly. I couldn’t finish.
Too much, everything’s too much.
His fingertips twisted my clit. Heat burned the sensitive bud, blazing through my body with a flaming sting. “ Oh gods… ”
He gentled his licks, his strokes, soothing the pain, but it had the reverse effect. It made everything hotter inside. There was a merciless promise in the force of his will on mine. “I want to come until I c-can’t…”
My body rocked back, pushing against his lapping touch, and I was moaning endlessly, the sound spilling through the gloomy woodland. He pulled away a little to run the flat of his tongue in a slow, savoring swipe. His teeth grazed right on my clit, and I shrieked, hips bucking, spine bowing. The huff of laughter and the glance of his mouth wound me higher and higher. My voice was low and husky and I’d never heard that voice before. “Until I can’t breathe, I can’t think, I can’t…I can’t…”
I can’t finish. I can’t think. I can’t breathe.
An undertow dragged me deeper and deeper into the murky depths of agony and bliss. My mind was floating somewhere else, on currents of pleasure teased by his tongue, sliding and sucking and spearing me, his fingers circling my clit. Drowning in the burn of his bristled jaw, the nudge of his nose, the need blooming through my entire body, pinching my nipples stiffer, my legs quivering.
A slap on my ass. A reminder to finish.
I yelped, pain flaring, the heat of the sting melding with pleasure. A low whimper whispered from my throat, my fingernails digging into rot-softened bark. “Can’t take it anymore.”
And it was the truth. I couldn’t. He was holding me on the brink, teasing me relentlessly with his lips and tongue and skillful fingers. It hurt how much I wanted it, needed it. I was poised there, balanced on the tips of my toes on the sharp edge. Just one more nudge, one more twist of his fingers, one more push of his tongue into my wet heat…
Graysen backed away and my slickness prickled as cold air rushed in. My hands were fisted, muscles tensed, legs shaking—nothing to be heard but my panting breaths. Denial slowly washed over me as I waited—one breath, two, a third—when it suddenly sank in. He wasn’t going to finish.
“I need it,” I whined, cursing myself for the desperation echoing in my voice.
Darkness and cruelty tinged his rough laugh, making it reverberate against my flesh. “Changed my mind, little bird. There’s only one way you’re coming, and that’s on my cock.”
Maybe that’s what stoked my fire.
I pushed myself off the fallen tree, slipping to my feet, my toes encountering damp earth and mildewed leaves and soft moss. I whirled on him, my whole body sexually frustrated and humming for release.
That arrogant smirk returned.
I glared at him, furious, and shoved my hands at his chest, shunting him back. “Give me what I want.”
He stumbled a step, and a fleeting surprise flashed across his face before he righted himself to lift his chin and stare at me boldly with defiance. The gold flecks around his pupils glittered and his eyes lit up like beacons. As much as he wanted to dominate me, he got off on my fire. I could see the excitement sweeping through him, the challenge I gave him.
Thick fingers wrapped about his erection, and he stroked himself. “On your knees, little bird.”
And here it was, a test between us. I ached a brow, shifting my weight to one hip. “I don’t think so.” And I raised a finger upward, making my point. “I bow to no one.”
“Not even my—”
“Especially your cock,” I smirked, knowing exactly what he was going to say.
“Gods, you don’t give an inch.” He moved toward the fallen alder tree, and I think he intended to sit his ass there, but I had other ideas. I threw out a tangle of power—silvery threads of magic encircled his calves and, with a squall of blustering wind, I shoved him backward to flop onto a sprawling of foliage with an oomph.
Swiveling around, he snapped his hand out, faster than I could react, and wrapped it around my ankle, twisting and tugging me off balance. I fell with a shriek, expecting to encounter the muddy earth, but I fell onto his hard chest.
He rolled us over until he was on top, the weight of his body pushing mine into the soft embrace of the leaves. His heavy cock was pressed into my belly—hot, hard, and throbbing. He smirked, glancing down between us. “Is this the first cock you’ve seen, little bird?”
My mouth went bone dry. His eyes sparked with challenge, obviously wanting to hear what he already knew.
I let my gaze dip down to the swollen, glistening crown. The slick of dampness against my skin. I made a non-committal noise at the back of my throat and shrugged an unimpressed shoulder. “I’ve seen a few.”
Not in real life.
Only in the glossy pages of the dirty magazine Lise snagged from one of the Qillisan girls.
And nothing like yours.
He blinked, smirk faltering. “Come again?”
“I’d better.”
It took three long seconds of those inky brows slashed over confused dark eyes for him to catch on. Then he grinned, teeth digging into his bottom lip like he was chewing back sunbeams.
My grin mirrored his perfectly.
I hooked a leg over his calf, power coiling around my bones, and I rolled us both—satisfied with the startled noise he made—so I was on top, my hands spread over his chest, pinning him down.
I leaned forward, purposefully pressing my breasts against his pecs, feeling the muscles twitch, and breathed into his ear. “Tonight…I want to kiss you right…here.” I skimmed my curled knuckles along his entire iron-rigid length. The first touch made him grunt, and his whole body shuddered.
I pushed up, sliding in between his legs, and he levered upward with his elbows.
His eyes were wild, and his pupils dilated, excitement vibrating from him.
My fingers wrapped around his girth, and I gently swiped my thumb across the damp slit of his cock.
He bucked his hips. A curse hanging in the air. Teeth biting into his lower lip.
The memory of what he’d told me in the well of water replayed in my mind— You could literally burn the world down over a slight.
And, though it wasn’t quite true, enough of it was. Inside me resided power, but this, the sway I held over him with simply my touch, making him vulnerable…I’d never felt more powerful. I was a Wychthorn Princess, but right now I felt like a qu een. His Queen.
I stroked his cock, staring at him, studying his reaction to the slightest change in my grip and motion and angle, mapping him with my fingers.
“You like?”
Tipping his head, he moaned, leaning back on the heels of his hands and digging his fingertips into the earth. Otherwise, I suspected, he was going to grab me and force my mouth on him. “I don’t like.” And his low, gruff voice told me exactly how I made him feel. “I fucking crave it.”
I bent my head, angling his cock toward my mouth to give it a fluttering kiss on the tip. I heard his breath catch and that sound, his weakness for a chaste kiss. My kiss. The girl he warred with endlessly had my inner sex clenching. Heat and want flared through my core. My tongue darted out, and I gave one long, slow lick over the crown to lap up the glistening beads.
He cursed, just as long and slow.
My nose crinkled, as I gave some consideration to the earthiness and the briny hint that melted on my tongue. “The ocean. That’s what you taste like.”
“Ah, fuck,” he gritted out. Gripping the back of my head, he canted his hips forward to push himself between my lips. The intrusion, the fullness invading my mouth, that’s what it would feel like inside. I felt incredibly full, too full, as he pushed further and further. A rough groan crawled from his throat as his fingers tightened around my hair. “Gods, Nelle, fuck.” He pulled out, only to thrust back in. Slowly, as his hips found a slow, steady rhythm, I let myself relax. “That’s it, beautiful, f-fuck, yes…” he breathed, following up with what he was going to do to me once he finally got his hands on me. My clit throbbed and arousal slicked my inner thighs. I was so lost in the desirous need to experience everything he’d shared that I was only vaguely aware I was humming around his cock.
Suddenly my mouth was empty. He’d pulled out, his slick shaft slapping against his chiseled abs. And we both stared at one another.
“What the hells were you doing?” he rasped.
There was an expression of awe in his gaze, and something else I couldn’t read, that made me self-conscious. I wiped the wetness from my lips with the back of my fingers, confused. Anxiety clenched my throat. “Didn’t I do it right?”
“I was about to explode.”
He pushed up, impossibly fast, and pounced on me. I was knocked backward, captured by his arms, his body, his mouth. He kissed me, a feverish, desperate kiss, his tongue tangling with mine, stoking the flames of my desire into a raging fire. He groaned. “There’s only one way I’m coming tonight, little bird, and that is inside you.”
Gods, yes, please.