Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
RILEY
“I need your help.” I know that Lucy is going to hate my idea.
She’s got that suspicious tilt to her head as she stares at me through the screen, as if she’s waiting for me to confess to something terrible.
Which, technically, I am.
“What kind of help?” she asks slowly.
I take a breath and adjust my phone, which I’ve propped up against my pillow.
I’m lying on my front on top of the comforter with my ankles crossed behind me so I have a clear view of the bedroom door because the last thing I need is Kieran walking in and overhearing what I’m about to say.
“I need you to cover for me.”
“Okay… What are we talking, here? First-degree murder, or did you eat Kieran’s last Twinkie?”
I swallow a laugh. “First of all, I don’t think Kieran is really a twinkie kind of guy.”
“Really? I always saw him as a secret Twinkie eater.”
I sigh. “We’ve gone off track, Luce.”
“Right, sorry! So, first-degree murder it is.”
If Kieran ever finds out I’m planning on secretly meeting up with my brother, then it will surely end in first-degree murder.
“Not exactly… I told Oscar I would meet with him.”
Lucy’s eyes almost bug out of her head. “Excuse me?”
“Shh! Keep your voice down.” I glance at the door.
Kieran didn’t come to bed again last night; he was locked away with Ronan and Brennan in Ronan’s office, and for all I know, they’re still in there. But that doesn’t mean he won’t come and pay me a visit at any moment, and I can’t risk him overhearing my conversation.
“I will when you agree to get a frontal lobotomy, because you’ve clearly lost your mind.”
“Oh, come on. Don’t be so dramatic.”
“I’m allowed to be dramatic when my best friend is planning on meeting up with the very guy who wanted to marry her off to an ancient psycho killer. Or have you forgotten that part?”
“No, I haven’t, but…”
“But nothing, Riles. There is nothing your brother could say that can make up for the role he played in all of this.”
“You could argue that if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be with Kieran right now.”
“Who are you trying to convince, me or you? Because it seems like you’re going to the ends of the earth to justify to yourself that Oscar isn’t the villain in your story.”
I sigh. “I just want to hear him out.”
“And I want to slice his dick off and feed it to him, but we can’t always get what we want.”
“He wants to talk, that’s all.”
“That’s what he said last time, and you ended up betrothed to some old guy who probably can’t even get it up.”
I groan. “Enough of the dick talk; it’s barely eight a.m.”
“You called me.” Lucy holds up her hands.
“Because I wanted your help. Not because I wanted a lecture.”
“Well, it serves you right for agreeing to meet your brother when you’re not even allowed out to meet your best friend for a damn burrito once in a while. So, I don’t know how you think I can help.”
“Here’s my plan. I figured I could tell Kieran I want to hang out at your place, and Oscar can meet me there.”
“And how exactly do you plan on getting Kieran to agree to this?”
I think of our dinner last night and how I barely took two bites of food before Kieran was called away. It will be a low blow to say that he needs to make it up to me, but it might be the only hand I can play.
“Don’t worry about that.”
“Easy for you to say. When Kieran finds out about this, and he will, you can butter him up with sex. But me? I’ll be a dead woman walking.”
“He’s not going to find out.”
“Riley, come on. This has to be, hands down, the dumbest thing you’ve said in the time I’ve known you.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“I’m serious. You actually want me to lie to Kieran Sullivan, your borderline terrifying boyfriend, and sneak your estranged brother into my apartment? Do you want me to die?”
“You’re not going to die.” I roll my eyes even though her words make my stomach twist. “Look, I’m not saying I’m going to forgive Oscar, but he’s family. If there’s even a sliver of a chance that we can work things out, I have to try. You know I do.”
Lucy exhales through her nose, muttering something under her breath about me being insane. “Fine. But I want it on record that I think this is a terrible, horrible, self-destructive idea.”
“Duly noted.”
Relief seeps through me that she agreed, even though I know she’s right.
This is a stupid plan. But it’s nothing if I don’t convince Kieran to let me out of the house, which is going to be a whole different battlefield to navigate in and of itself.
After I say goodbye to Lucy with a promise of keeping her updated with my plans, I head downstairs in search of Kieran. I find him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter scrolling through his phone with a strained look on his face.
Whatever it is has his full attention as he doesn’t even look up when I slide onto one of the stools at the island.
“Hey. So…Lucy wants me to come over later just to hang out, nothing big. I told her Jace will probably come, so you don’t have to worry.”
Kieran’s head snaps up at that. “What?”
“I said Lucy wants me to come over. It’s been ages since we’ve hung out just the two of us.”
For a second, I think he’s going to push back, but instead he sets down his phone on the counter and folds his arms over his chest.
“She can’t come here?”
“She can, but if I’m being honest, I’m going stir crazy being stuck in this house for days on end.”
I wait for Kieran to refuse, to tell me how dangerous it is for me to take a single step past the estate boundary, but it never comes.
“You can go on one condition.”
For a second, I thought he was going to agree without a fight, but this is Kieran we’re talking about. Of course, he wouldn’t make this easy for me.
“What’s the condition?”
“That we talk about the internship.”
“Kieran—”
“Don’t brush me off. You were so excited about this internship. You worked your ass off for it. Then suddenly, you don’t want it anymore? That doesn’t make sense.”
I swallow a groan.
He’s not wrong. I was excited about the internship. But that was before I found out I was pregnant. But I can’t tell him that, at least not yet.
“It’s really not that big a deal.” I shrug.
“Yes, it meant a lot to me, but things change. I’ve been thinking about what I really want lately, and back when I was under my father’s thumb, this sort of internship would have been a way for me to prove something to my father.
To show him that I can forge my own path.
But now? I don’t need to escape my life anymore, and I think the internship might have led me down a path I no longer want to walk. ”
The words sound so convincing, even to my own ears. For a second, I almost believe them.
Kieran studies me carefully until finally he nods. “Of course, I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do, so if you’re sure you want to pass on this opportunity, then I’ll support you.”
I almost sob. “Thank you.”
“What about school? Are you thinking of changing your major?”
“I think I’m going to stick with it and then I’ll decide what to do once I graduate.”
If I graduate.
I force myself to smile even though it feels like my heart is cracking.
In a perfect world, I could do school and the internship and raise my child. But life is built on sacrifices, and it’s no longer about what I want. It’s about what’s best for my child, and being away from them for most of the day is not something I’m willing to do.
Kieran crosses over to me and wraps me up in his arms, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Thank you for being honest with me. That means more than you know.”
Guilt claws at my insides.
I’m being anything but honest, and he’s going to learn that soon enough.
The drive over to Lucy’s is far from enjoyable. My stomach is in knots, not just at the idea of seeing my brother for the first time since he told me he was betrothing me to Sean O’Keefe, but at the possibility of Kieran finding out.
At one point, I almost call the whole thing off and order Jace to turn the car around.
But then I think of Kieran and his brothers.
If Oscar asked to speak to me because he has information on Sean, I owe it to them to find out what it is.
Jace pulls up outside Lucy’s apartment building. “You can wait in the car.”
“No can do. Kieran’s ordered me to stay with you at all times.”
“Of course, he has.” I sigh as I get out of the car.
This plan is going to go to shit if Jace enters Lucy’s apartment and finds my brother standing in the middle of the living room.
“What about if you stay right outside the door?”
He huffs, slamming the driver's door shut. “Are you always so difficult?”
“If you don’t agree to wait outside, then trust me, you’re about to find out just how difficult I can be.”
I might barely come up to Jace’s chest, but I stare him down the best I can, letting some of that fire show in my eyes.
“Fine.” He follows close behind me as we head inside and take the two flights of stairs up to Lucy’s floor.
I haven’t been here since our last study session together, which also happened to be the day I left my family for good.
It seems fitting that this is the place I chose to meet Oscar.
Lucy opens the door and catches Jace’s towering frame standing behind me. “You brought some eye candy.”
“Still want to come inside?” I say to him over my shoulder.
“I’m good out here.”
Lucy pouts. “Always so serious.”
“Leave the poor man alone.” I turn to him. “We won’t be long.”
We slip inside and quickly shut the door.
“He’s in the living room,” Lucy says quietly.
I nod before following her down the tiny hallway and into the living room where Oscar is pacing back and forth in front of the window.
When he sees me, he stops dead in his tracks and a look of relief washes over his face. “Riley. Thanks for coming.”
The sight of his dark auburn hair, the exact same shade as mine, makes my chest tighten.
He looks older and more worn down since I last saw him. Despite everything that’s happened, he is still my brother. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to forgive him.
“Don’t thank me yet. Me being here doesn’t mean I forgive you.”
I stay near the door to the living room, my arms folded as I stare at Oscar.
“I know. But I need you to hear me out.”
There’s such desperation in his tone that I’m a little afraid of what he’s about to tell me.
“Then talk.”
He runs a hand through his hair, messing up the strands as he continues to pace back and forth. “I screwed up.”
“No shit.” Lucy drops onto the velvet couch and tucks her feet up beneath her.
“Lucy,” I warn.
“Sorry,” she mutters, though she looks anything but. “Please, continue with the sob story.”
Oscar noticeably bristles, and Lucy flashes him a smile.
She’s never been the biggest fan of my brother, and I have a feeling that’s not going to change anytime soon.
“After Dad died, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.
” Oscar keeps his eyes focused on his feet as he paces, as if he can’t bear to look me in the eye.
“Rion came in and tried to act like he was in charge, and I just…lost it. I let myself become consumed by anger and grief, and that led to me pushing you away when you needed me the most. I hurt you, Riles, and I’m sorry. ”
The words hang heavy between us, and I know my brother well enough to know that he genuinely means it.
But one apology is not going to make up for the hell he put me through.
“You don’t get to just apologize and expect everything to be okay.”
“I know that, but—”
“Do you have any idea what it’s been like for me? What it was like to have you side with Rion?”
Oscar’s voice goes rough with emotion. “I know. And I regret it every damn day. That’s why I want to fix this. I don’t expect you to trust me right away, but give me a chance to prove I’ve changed. Please.”
I search his face, trying to find the lie, but all I see is exhaustion and guilt.
“Words aren’t enough. You’re going to have to prove yourself, Oscar.”
“I know. But I want you to know that you won’t regret giving me this chance. I promise.”
I really hope I don’t.
Oscar leaves through the fire escape without another word, and the moment he disappears out of sight, I let out a breath and collapse onto the couch beside Lucy, feeling suddenly exhausted.
“You’re too soft, Riles. It’s one of the things I love about you, but also one of the things that’s going to get you killed.”
“I’m not soft.”
“Yes, you are. And that’s not always a bad thing. But some people can’t redeem themselves.”
“How do you know Oscar isn’t one of those people?”
Lucy’s expression softens as she takes my hand. “You can’t force someone to change, Riley.”
“I know, but I’m not forcing Oscar into anything. He’s the one who came to me, so clearly he means it when he says he wants to make things better.”
“Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?”
“I’m not trying to convince anyone. I’m going on fact.”
“No, you’re going on Oscar’s word. There’s a difference.”
I pull my hand away and get to my feet.
She frowns. “Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“Riley, come on.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “I don’t have the energy to fight with you. To be honest, I don’t have the energy for anything.”
“I’m not trying to fight with you.”
“Then can you just be on my side about this? Because you’re my best friend, Luce, and I really need you right now.”
Lucy’s expression softens as she gets to her feet and crosses over to me. “I’m always on your side. But Oscar has every reason to have an ulterior motive when it comes to Kieran’s family. And using you to get close to them is the perfect cover. I just… I want you to be careful.”
I force myself to smile even though my stomach feels like lead.
There is every chance that Lucy is right, and that Oscar is lying through his teeth. But only time will tell whether I’m still nothing but a pawn to my brother or he has truly changed.
“I will, I promise.”
“Good. So, enough of the heavy stuff. How much time do you have before you’re needed back at Fort Sullivan?”
“Kieran’s given me two hours.”
“How very generous of him,” Lucy says sarcastically.
“He figured it was long enough to watch Twilight.”
Lucy’s eyes light up at the mention of her favorite film.
“He also gave me his credit card to order food.”
She grins. “I take back every mean thing I’ve ever said about Kieran. He is officially a green flag husband.”
He really is, which is why he’s going to be devastated if he finds out about my meeting with Oscar.
All I can do is hope that my secrets don’t come back to bite me because the last thing I want is to end up losing the one person I am trying to protect.