Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
RILEY
I’m sitting cross-legged on the bed, chewing on my thumbnail while I wait for my call to connect. The hold music loops again, and I pull the phone away to check the time. It’s seven minutes past eight. Surely, there aren’t that many people calling to make an OBGYN appointment this early?
Finally, a voice cuts in, and I suck in a breath.
“Dr. Rogers’ office, this is Karen. How can I help you?”
My throat feels tight, and I seem to have temporarily forgotten how to talk.
“Oh, hi, um…yes. I need to confirm an appointment for tomorrow morning?”
“Name?”
“Riley. Riley O’Connor.” The fake name rolls off my tongue a little too easily.
“One moment.”
There’s the clicking of typing in the background, and then Karen’s voice sounds down the phone once again. “Yes, I have you scheduled for a routine prenatal checkup at nine a.m. on Friday.”
The words land like a punch to the gut.
“That’s great, thank you.”
When the call ends, I set the phone face down on the bed and press the heels of my hands to my eyes, breathing out slowly.
It’s just an appointment. That’s all. But it feels monumental, considering the fact that Kieran still doesn’t know.
I’m trying not to read too much into the fact that every time I try to tell him, something always comes up.
So what if last night didn’t go the way I planned?
So what if I cooked the damn feast, set the table, lit the candles, and chose my moment perfectly only for the phone to ring and drag him away before I could even open my mouth?
That doesn’t mean the universe is warning me.
Maybe I’m just making excuses because I’m too scared to face him with the truth.
I pick my phone back up and scroll to Lucy’s number. If I can’t tell Kieran yet, I at least need to make sure that I can make my appointment Friday without having Kieran find out and all blowing up in my face.
“Riley!” Her bright smiling face appears on the screen. “I was literally just about to call you.”
“Great minds.” I laugh, but the sound is a little forced, and Lucy seems to notice immediately.
“Uh oh, what’s wrong?” She sets her phone down on the kitchen counter as she finishes making her morning coffee.
“I need another favor.”
“I swear, if you ask me to harbor another fugitive, I’m going to start rethinking this friendship.”
“No, it’s nothing like that… Although, I could end up being the fugitive.”
“In that case, come on over!” She laughs. “So, what’s the crime you’re about to commit?”
“I have an appointment with an OBGYN on Friday, for…you know.”
“Kieran’s mutant spawn that’s being housed in your womb.”
“Right, that. Well, I need a cover story in case Kieran asks where I’m going.”
“Is there any point? I mean, he barely lets you leave the house as it is.”
After my secret run-in with Oscar at the university library, I’m surprised Kieran hasn’t shackled me to the bed, but I don’t tell Lucy that.
“Which is why I need a good story. Something where he has no choice but to say yes.”
Lucy sighs and sets down the carton of creamer on the counter before picking up her phone so she can scowl directly into the camera.
“Riley. You can’t keep this a secret forever.”
“I know that!” I instantly regret the sharpness in my tone. “Sorry. I just… I tried last night, okay? I had it all planned out. I made him a nice dinner, and then I was going to tell him about the baby over dessert, but then the phone rang, and he had to leave, again.”
My voice cracks, and I look away as I try to hold myself together. “Why does this happen every time I try to speak to him? Sometimes, I feel like that damn phone is the third wheel in our marriage.”
“Well, at least it’s not a hooker, or worse. His mother. Have you seen some of those psycho mother-in-law stories online? These women are bat-shit crazy.”
I huff a laugh. “You always find a silver lining.”
“That’s what I’m here for!”
“It feels like the universe doesn’t want me to tell him.”
“Or maybe the universe is waiting for you to grow a spine.”
“Maybe…”
“Look, if you really need a cover, tell him you’re picking something up from the hospital for Ciara. He won’t question that.”
I bite my lip. “Like what?”
“I don’t know, ask Ciara. She’ll come up with something.”
“Okay, I’ll do that.”
“Keep me updated!” She hangs up.
I decide to do as Lucy suggested and go in search of Ciara.
“I think you can officially say that Ronan has been replaced by a yoga ball,” I tease when I enter her bedroom.
Ciara sighs, rubbing her back. “I’m sure there’s a good innuendo for that, but I’m too tired to think of one.”
“Save that for Mila.”
“Exactly.” She laughs. “So, what’s up?”
“Nothing much. Just wanted to see how you were holding up.”
“Still pregnant. I swear these babies are never coming out.”
“You just made it too comfortable for them in there.” I perch on the end of the bed.
“Hmm… Well, they’re about to get served with an eviction notice if they’re not careful,” she grumbles, but there’s a hint of a smile on her lips. “I just want to meet them already.”
“Me too.”
“It’s going to be so nice having all the family around. I know you’re sort of here against your will, but I still really appreciate having you around and all the help you’ve given me and Ronan.”
“It’s my pleasure. I never got to experience the whole big family thing, and it’s…”
“Chaotic?”
I laugh. “At times. But it’s nice to have so much support.”
“It’s everything I ever wanted.” Ciara smiles down at her bump. “It’s funny how things work out in the end.”
“It’s so weird to think that there will be two babies in the house.”
“Well, three if you count, you know…” Ciara gives me a look, and I cringe. “Come on, Riley, at some point you’re going to start showing, and the game will be up. That is if no one catches on to the fact that your morning sickness has started.”
“I know.”
“You’re lucky Ronan’s distracted right now, otherwise he would have one hundred percent guessed what was wrong the other day.”
“You think?”
“I know.”
“Well, you’ll be pleased to know that I have an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Rogers. I just called to confirm it.”
Ciara’s expression softens immediately. “Good. That’s good, Riley.”
“I just—” I swallow hard as I fiddle with the hem of my t-shirt. “I need a reason to be there, you know, for if Kieran asks. Lucy suggested that I say I’m delivering something for you.”
Ciara tilts her head, studying me like she can see straight through me. “Or you could just be honest with him.”
I let out a groan as I collapse against the nest of pillows behind me. “Don’t start.”
“I’m serious. He loves you, Riley. This is his child too.”
“He’s never actually said it…”
“Said what?”
“That…he loves me.”
“What?”
I bolt upright. “Shh!”
“Sorry, but seriously, what the hell? He’s never told you he loves you?”
“Technically, no, but in his defense, I haven’t either.”
Ciara’s jaw is practically on the floor as she continues to bounce on her ball.
“I don’t understand you two. I mean, it’s obvious you both love each other, so why not just say it?”
“If you haven’t noticed, we don’t have the best track record of telling each other things.”
“I would never have guessed.” Ciara rolls her eyes. “Kieran I can understand because he’s a Sullivan, and Sullivan men don’t do feelings. But you? Riley Walsh, you’re like a walking emoji.”
“Uh, thanks?”
Ciara laughs as she rubs her belly absentmindedly. “What I mean is that you wear every expression on your face. You don’t hide your emotions or feelings, which is why I find it hard to understand why you’re trying so hard to hide them from Kieran?”
“I’m not doing it on purpose. I guess it’s more subconscious reasoning.”
“So, what is it? Are you scared of abandonment? Or are you scared that Kieran will feel the same, and you’re terrified of having everything you’ve ever wanted because you feel like you don’t deserve it?”
“Seriously, did you study psych or something? Because you are scarily good at this therapy stuff.”
“It’s easier to see it when you’re not in it. But also, it helps that I was in a similar situation. It took me a while to tell Ronan about my pregnancy too, but not as long as you.” She shoots me a look.
“You’ve got the disappointed mother look down, by the way.”
“Thanks, I’ve been practicing on Ronan.” She laughs, flicking her blonde ponytail over her shoulder.
I reach for a pillow and hug it to my chest. “So, what kept you from telling Ronan?”
“I was scared he was going to walk away. When I first met Ronan, he didn’t exactly scream ‘doting father’. If anything, he was the opposite.”
“So, how did you tell him?”
Ciara looks down at her bump as a crease forms between her eyebrows.
“My hand was forced. Kieran found out, and he threatened to tell Ronan if I didn’t.”
“Seriously?”
Ciara nods. “He said his brother had a right to know.”
My stomach churns at her words.
“I tried to tell him last night over dinner, but then Brennan called, and Kieran had to leave, and—” I shake my head. “It’s not my fault he’s distracted.”
“Maybe not. But I promise you this news would top everything else. If you told him last night, he would have stayed with you, and I think you know that.”
“I just need to wait until he’s ready to hear it.”
“Are you sure it’s not you who isn’t ready?”
I don’t answer. Because she’s right, and I hate that.
Ciara doesn’t push me further. She just sighs and rubs her belly.
“All right. If you’re set on the cover story, you’re in luck.
Dr. Rogers has been on me for regular urine samples, so I’ll call and tell him you’re bringing one in for me.
That way, if Kieran asks, you’re technically telling the truth. ”
Relief and guilt slam into me all at once.
“Ciara, thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“For starters, you can make another chocolate torte. I heard it was incredible, and I’m very offended that I never got a piece.”
“You should have said, I can go get you one right now…”
Ciara shakes her head.
I frown. “What?”
“Brennan ate it.”
“You’re joking. There was only a tiny slice cut out of it! There is no way it’s all gone.”
“This is Brennan we’re talking about. He would eat my twins if he got hungry enough.”
“I’m going to kill him.”
“Well, can you make sure you make another torte first and then murder him? You can’t bake from jail.”
“I’m sure Ronan would pay some people off to keep me out.” I get to my feet. “That man would do anything to make you happy.”
She chuckles. “That’s true.”
“If anyone’s going to jail, it’s Brennan. I swear, it should be illegal to be able to eat so much and still have abs. Actually, Kieran too. It’s not fair. All I have to do is look at a candy bar and I gain ten pounds.”
Ciara points to her bump. “You’re preaching to the choir. But I’m going to make the most of the pregnancy excuse for as long as I can.”
“I better get to baking, then.” I laugh.
“Like I said, these babies are getting evicted whether they like it or not, and mama needs some chocolate cake to fuel the labor.”
“I’m on it.”
“Oh, and, Riley?”
I glance back and catch Ciara’s eye.
“Please don’t make me pull a Kieran and offer you an ultimatum, because I will. He deserves to know, and we both know you should be the one to tell him.”
I swallow, my throat suddenly feeling dry. “I promise.”