Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
RILEY
A huge yawn escapes me as I finish pinning back my hair. The dark circles under my eyes still manage to show through the layer of concealer, but I can’t be mad. Not when my lack of sleep is due to Kieran giving me multiple orgasms last night.
My appointment with the OBGYN is this morning, and from what Ciara has told me, I’ll be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat today, and I’m not sure how to feel about it.
Part of me wants to feel excited, but it’s hard when I’m riddled with guilt.
I smooth down the hem of my dress and force my face to look anything other than panicked, though that’s hard when my heart is hammering in my chest.
I’m second-guessing everything from my outfit choice to the body wash I used in the shower.
The rational side of my brain knows I’m being ridiculous, but it’s too late to change now. If I want to make my appointment on time, I need to be leaving in the next ten minutes.
When I walk into the kitchen, the smell of coffee floods my senses.
Kieran is at the counter, looking immaculate in a dark shirt and slacks with his hair perfectly styled, except for that one stray curl at the back of his neck.
He got even less sleep than I did, and yet he’s still up and making me coffee as if he doesn’t carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.
I truly don’t know what I did to deserve this man.
He smiles at me over his shoulder. “Morning, little dove. I was just about to bring this up to you.”
I shuffle over to the island, and he sets a steaming mug of coffee down in front of me.
I force a smile, curling my hands around it even though I already know I won’t drink it. I’ve been cutting back from one coffee a day to none, just to be on the safe side, and Kieran instantly notices.
His eyes narrow, tracking the way I don’t lift the mug to my lips, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, his gaze flicks down the length of me, taking in my sage green summer dress and sandals that I’m already regretting wearing.
“Why are you all dressed up so early in the morning?” He takes a step closer to me and trails his fingers over the material. “Or is it for me?”
A shiver runs down my spine as I think of last night and how good it felt to have Kieran all to myself.
It would be so easy to let him take me back upstairs, but I can’t afford to lose my nerve.
“Ciara needs me to take something to the hospital for her.” I pat the tote bag slung over my shoulder.
I threw in a random selection of skincare bottles to make it look less suspicious, but now that I think about it, all it would take is for Kieran to ask to look inside, and the game would be up.
Kieran instantly drops his hand, and his eyes darken. “No.”
“Yes.” I force my voice to be light and casual. “She already arranged it with Dr. Rogers. The last thing I want to do is stress out a very pregnant woman and trigger her labor. Unless you want to explain that one to Ronan?”
It’s a dirty card to play, but it works.
Kieran hesitates, caught between his instinct to keep me under lock and key and the knowledge that upsetting Ciara right now is the last thing any of us should do.
Finally, he exhales through his nose.
“Fine. But your protection team goes with you.”
I blink. “Protection team?”
“You agreed to it last night.”
I swallow a laugh. “Kieran, I would agree to anything when…”
My cheeks burn from the memories of last night.
“I’m buried inside you?”
My throat goes dry as a familiar pulse thrums between my legs.
Focus, Riley.
“Well, yes.”
“It’s non-negotiable, Riley.” He reaches for his coffee and takes a sip. “You don’t leave this house without them.”
“Them?”
“Yes, them. Jace, Leo, and Wesley.”
It’s a good thing I’m not drinking my coffee because I would have spat it all down myself at this news. All I can think of is the receptionist's face when I arrive for my OBGYN appointment with three armed bodyguards.
“I need three bodyguards? Since when?”
“Since now.”
“Has something happened? Or am I in just the regular amount of danger?”
Kieran sets down his mug. “You let me worry about that.”
He forces a smile, but I can tell he’s holding something back. Something… dangerous.
I understand that’s part of being with him, but there’s an edge to his voice I haven’t heard before, which makes me nervous.
If I need this level of protection, is it really in my best interest to leave the safety of the house?
I catch my hand drifting toward my abdomen and know at that moment that it’s a risk I need to take.
This appointment with Dr. Rogers isn’t just about making sure I’m all right; it’s about making sure my baby is too, and if there’s something wrong, I would never forgive myself for not taking the risk.
“They go everywhere with you until I say otherwise. No exceptions,” Kieran adds.
I nod slowly, keeping my face calm even as panic curls in my gut. “Got it.”
I force a smile.
A protection team means eyes on me at all times.
How the hell am I supposed to pull off an OBGYN appointment if they’re breathing down my neck?
I guess I’ll just have to worry about that later because I’m not about to argue with Kieran, not when he’s already on edge.
It turns out my ‘protection team’ consists of three men who each look like they could be a linebacker for the NFL.
Jace I’m already familiar with, not that he offers me anything close to a smile.
Leo and Wesley are new to me but just as broody.
Could Kieran not find me bodyguards who actually smile once in a while? Or is it in the job description to look permanently constipated?
Kieran walks me to the car, because apparently that’s a requirement too.
“Are you sure this isn’t overkill
“Little dove, if I had it my way, you wouldn’t be leaving this house at all. The choice is yours.” He opens the car door.
I wrinkle my nose as I glance over at Jace, who is double-checking that his handgun is loaded.
“What if I promise a repeat of last night?” I step closer to Kieran and run my hand over his chest. “Only this time, it’s me worshipping you?”
I bite back a smile as Kieran’s eyes flash with need.
He ducks his head, and my breath catches as he runs his nose along my jaw before nipping at my earlobe.
“Nice try,” he murmurs before subtly pinching my ass. “But they’re going with you.”
“Worth a shot.”
It turns out that I was worried for nothing.
Ciara must have filled Dr. Rogers in on my situation about the pregnancy and my desperate need for secrecy, as the minute I check in at reception, he’s already waiting for me with a warm smile on his face.
He’s in his late sixties with salt and pepper hair and a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. He has the classic look of a grandfather out of a Hallmark movie, and that soothes my nerves.
“I assume you must be Ciara’s sister-in-law.” He flicks his eyes to the three brick walls behind me. “And these are?”
My cheeks burn.
“My husband is…overprotective.” I shoot Jace a glare, but he’s too busy scanning every corner of the sterile waiting room as though Sean O’Keefe is going to leap out from behind a potted plant.
“All right, then. Shall we go to my office?” He steps back to let me pass.
“Sure.”
I follow Dr. Rogers as he sets down the corridor of consulting rooms.
Jace appears at my side, ready to accompany me.
I’m about to tell him to stay put, but Dr. Rogers gets there before me.
“I’m sorry, but for privacy reasons, the consultation room is for the patient only.” Dr. Rogers keeps his tone polite but firm. “You’re welcome to wait in the waiting area.”
Jace bristles.
I can practically feel his finger twitching near his gun. But after a tense stare-down with the doctor, he agrees, though not before insisting on stepping inside the office first and sweeping the room like a crime scene.
“All clear,” he says gruffly before stepping out and leaving me alone with Dr. Rogers.
Finally, I feel like I can breathe. “Thank you.” I sink into the chair opposite Dr. Rogers’s desk. “I realize this is not a typical situation, and I appreciate your discretion.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Riley. I’m here to support you. Whatever you need, however you want to handle this, we’ll make it work.”
The kindness almost undoes me.
My throat tightens, but I nod quickly, clutching my bag in my lap like it’s an anchor.
“So, shall we get started?”
I nod, and Dr. Rogers smiles again before turning to face his computer and clicking open a new patient file.
He starts with the basics, asking about the date of my last period, any symptoms such as nausea and tiredness, as well as any spotting.
My voice wobbles slightly with every answer.
Everything feels surreal, like I’m floating just outside my own skin.
“Okay, now I’m going to get you to lie back on the table so I can conduct an ultrasound. We should be able to hear your baby’s heartbeat,” he smiles.
“Isn’t it too early? I’m only seven or eight weeks.”
“It is for a regular ultrasound, but I’m going to perform a transvaginal ultrasound. It’s used in early pregnancy to confirm the viability as well as the heartbeat.”
“Oh…okay.”
“It’s nothing to be worried about.”
I get myself situated on the table as Dr. Rogers readies all the equipment.
Suddenly, I wish that Kieran was here, that I had someone to hold my hand as the probe is inserted, and I anxiously wait to hear the sound of our baby’s heartbeat.
I close my eyes, bracing for the whooshing sound you always hear on, but what I hear instead is slower.
Something is wrong.
My eyes fly open in time to notice Dr. Rogers’ expression shift. It’s small, but it’s enough to make my heart lurch.
“What is it? Is my baby okay?”
“The heartbeat is there. But it’s slower than I’d like it to be for this stage.”
“What does that mean?” My voice is barely above a whisper.
“It can mean a few things.” He slowly removes the probe and wipes it clean. “Sometimes, it’s just that the heartbeat starts a little slow and catches up. Other times…”
I already know from the sinking feeling in my stomach what he’s going to say. “It could mean a miscarriage…”
“I’ll take some blood samples and book you in for another scan in a few days, just to keep an eye on things.”
“B-but, I could lose my baby?” I don’t even realize that I’m crying until a few stray tears drip down onto my neck.
“There is always a possibility, but I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen.
” He reaches out to squeeze my hand. “But I’m going to need you to stay as calm as possible.
Unnecessary stress is bad for the baby, so try to relax.
I know that’s hard to do considering what we’re discussing, but I’m going to need you to try. Can you do that?”
My eyes swim with tears, and I can’t seem to remember how to breathe.
I need Kieran.
Dr. Rogers finishes collecting some blood samples. “Don’t worry too much yet. It’s not unheard of for things to resolve themselves. We’ll keep a close eye on you.”
Once we finish up, I ready myself to put on a performance worthy of an Oscar because Jace is right outside the door, and the last thing I need is for him to see me unravel and report back to Kieran.
So, I plaster on a smile despite feeling like my heart is breaking.
Maybe this is the universe’s cruel way of proving me right.
If I had told Kieran already only to lose the baby, he would be devastated. And if the worst happens, if I do lose this baby, I’ll be the only one to blame.